First attempt at History Boys fanfic! Unbeta'd.
Enjoy. :)
As he pushed the teacher into the store cupboard, Dakin suddenly became aware of the close proximity between them. He had to keep the door open then, just a touch, not only because of the musty smell of old sports equipment, but also because of the charge in the atmosphere between them. He could easily have turned around, taken the teacher's face in his hands and kissed him right there. But that was what scared Dakin most. He wasn't like that! He'd never been interested before and it wasn't through lack of interest in him. Hell, Posner had been infatuated with him for months. But standing, watching the headmaster walk past, with Irwin practically leaning on his shoulder, Dakin felt his knees go uncharacteristically weak. He shut the door properly, hiding them from the headmaster, and leant against the solid wood. Irwin beside him was trying not to giggle, obviously oblivious to the inner struggle Dakin was going through.
~X~
Dakin tried the handle again. No luck. The door was stuck! He rolled his eyes. He'd actually locked himself in an outdoor store cupboard with Mr Irwin. Shit.
"Sir?"
"Dakin."
"Sir, I may be mistaken, but I think the door is stuck."
The merriment was immediately lost from the teacher's eyes. "What?"
"You're not very bright, are you sir?" Dakin teased, "I said the door is stuck."
Irwin tried the door then. "This is not good." He muttered, more to himself than to Dakin.
"Being stuck in here with me, do you mean?"
"Yes. No. You wouldn't understand!" Irwin sighed, running his hands through his hair, before pushing his glasses further up his nose. Dakin resigned himself to not getting much more of an answer to that and sat on a box. The silence that followed was interminable.
"Do you think we'll be happy… say we get in?" Dakin suddenly asked, putting a halt to Irwin's pacing.
"Hmm?"
"Oxford."
"You'll be happy anyway."
Dakin frowned. "I'm not sure I like that. Why?" Irwin shrugged and resumed his pacing. "Uncomplicated, is that what you mean? Outgoing? Straight?"
"None of them bad things to be."
"Depends. Nice to be a bit more complicated."
"Or thought to be so."
Dakin watched the contemplative expression on the teacher's face. Eventually Irwin seemed to shake himself out of whatever thoughts had consumed him and sat on a box opposite Dakin, setting his briefcase down beside him. Irwin's gaze settled on the dusty floor, obviously avoiding Dakin, giving the boy a better opportunity to study the man in front of him - the sharp angles of his face, down to Irwin's hands which were fidgeting nervously in his lap. Dakin was transfixed. The patter of feet of boys going home continued outside and Irwin shifted uncomfortably, causing Dakin to suppress a groan.
"How do you think history happens?" He quickly asked to cover his embarrassment.
"What?" Irwin responded, now looking straight at Dakin.
"How does stuff happen, do you think?" How did I fall for you? "People decide to do stuff." Was he really deciding to do this? Accepting this? "Make moves, alter things."
Irwin frowned. "I'm not sure what you're talking about."
"No?" This was it. Dakin got up and sat next to Irwin, their thighs almost touching in the cramped space. "Think about it." Irwin looked uncomfortable, but there was something else in his eyes now as well. Longing?
"Some do... make moves, I suppose. Other people react to events. In 1939 Hitler made a move on Poland and Poland..." In that moment Dakin had leaned in and pressed his lips to Irwin's. A few seconds passed before the teacher pushed him away and stood up, his back to Dakin. "We can't." His voice sounded strangled.
"Why? Because you're a teacher and I'm... a boy?"
"Obviously that."
"Who cares? I don't!" Dakin retorted.
"I didn't know you were that way inclined." Dakin got up to stand behind him.
"Was Poland taken by surprise?" Irwin breathed a laugh as Dakin placed his hands on his arms, turning the teacher around and moving to caress his cheek, before kissing him again languidly. Dakin flicked his tongue out, wanting more and Irwin responded, opening his mouth wider and meeting Dakin's tongue with his own. Dakin groaned again, properly this time, giving in to the sensation that is Irwin.
"Dakin?!" He jumped as his name was called from outside, breaking apart from Irwin and re-establishing a socially acceptable amount of space between them. "Are you in there shagging Mr Irwin?" He turned away and closed his eyes as their laughter rang out.
"Just open the bloody door!" He called back, glad that the darkness at least was hiding the blush on his cheeks. He could only imagine the expression on Irwin's face. The man was probably scared shitless. "I'll handle it." He muttered.
"Is that a promise?" Irwin challenged as the lock clicked. He clapped Dakin on the shoulder and walked out passed the other boys, with a rather sly grin on his face. He could practically feel Dakin staring after him. They'd both broken boundaries that afternoon. He'd broken his resolve not to do anything with Dakin, but at the same time he'd seen behind the cocky, outgoing exterior the boy put up. Irwin smiled to himself as he continued walking, without looking back.
Dakin was still watching him as he disappeared round the corner of the building. He'd flirted back. He'd actually flirted back! And walked off, all casual and controlled as if nothing had happened!
"So, how's the war going? Full thrust Blitzkrieg? Annihilation?" Scripps teased.
"Nothing happened." Dakin replied defensively.
"He rejected you! Fuck!" That was Jimmy.
"Not exactly. I just... I don't get it!" Dakin threw his hands up, despairing of the whole situation. "He's so bold and then switches to being so fucking careful!"
"You're actually in love with him." It was the first thing Posner had added to the awkward conversation.
Dakin scoffed. "No I'm not." He looked back in the direction Irwin had walked off in, before walking purposefully in the other direction.
"Denial!" Jimmy sing-songed. Scripps laughed and Posner just continued to gaze after Dakin, until someone pushed his shoulder on their way to catch up with Stuart. Posner watched them go.
"The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good."
He quoted, knowing now that Dakin was lost to him. It never seemed to matter when it was a girl - always just another conquest, but a man... Irwin. Auden was right. No good can ever come of it. He sighed, switched his bag from his left hand to his right and followed after his friends.