Sherlock What might we deduce about his heart

by Forsaken Wolf C.A

John Watson is hiding a secret and Mycroft knows it. But what is this secret and what does this secret have to do with a secret identity? Is John Watson really who he makes out to be or is there more to the army doctor. He is anything but a soldier or army doctor and the Holmes brothers are about to find out the hard way. These Characters aren't mine

Sherlock What might we deduce about his heart

John Hamish Watson (John Watson DeAngelus)

- 34 years old

- Royal Army Medial Corps (RAMC)- Captain

- Special Force Team (Project Phoenix)- Regimental Sergeant Major

- Boss of MI5 (British Intelligence Agency)

- Freelance Assassin Organized Criminal underground

-Infantry Officer

-Explosives expert

- Chemist

-Combat Medical Attendant

- PTSD (Post Traumatic Disorder)

- Sleep Walker

- High Functioning Sociopath with Psychopathic tendencies

- Boxing/ Jojustsu/ Kendo/ Gatka/ Kenjutsu/ Military Martial Arts

William Sherlock Scott Holmes

- Age 34

-Consulting detective

- High functioning sociopath

-Helps Scotland Yard on their homicide cases

-Asperger Syndrome that manifests in his poor people skills

-Describes himself married to his work

-Considerable fighting ability/History with recreational drug use

-Has an older brother named Mycroft Holmes

-Highly intelligence but hides his abilities to predict human behaviour, strategical and logical intelligence.

-Inability to feel remorse or guilt for actions.

-Inability to cope with boredom and has a strong sense for chaos with a keen ability to observe but can be callous and unconcerned for the feelings of others and has a disregard for the safety of self and others.

Lady Vivian Shawcross DeAngelus: (Lady Stoneheart)

- Age 62

- Boss of the Organized Criminal Underground.

- Freelance assassin for the CIA.

- Boss of Central Intelligence Agency.

- Chemist.

- Nursing Officer.

- Combat Medical Attendant.

- Borderline Personality Disorder.

- High Functioning Sociopath.

- Jojutus/Kendo/Kumdo.

Arthur Mycroft Sean Holmes (Iceman)

- Age: 41

-He is the Government

-He is very protective and is concerned about his brother called Sherlock

-Mycroft is frequency mocked by Sherlock for putting on weight.

-He plays a big important position in the government but is referred to Sherlock as the British Government

-He works in the British Government and CIA on a freelance basis

-He is driven everywhere by a private black car

-He has a genius and Sherlock admits that he is a lot smarter than he seems that his intelligence is borderline superhuman, allowing him to learn Serbian in a few hours

Cigarette addiction which he used to share with his younger brother Sherlock and a second older brother Hunter.

Mrs. Hudson (Martha Louise Hudson Known as Agent Heart Stopper)

- Age 62

-Landlady to 221B Baker street and has her own residence next door at 221A Baker Street.

- She is a semi-reformed alcoholic and has history with recreational drug use and occasionally uses marijuana at her sister's when she stays there without Sherlock or John knowing.

-She is a former exotic dancer and worked freelance for the Secret Intelligence Service as an assassin.

- She is 62 years old.

- Works for Lady DeAngelus and was DeAngelus siblings nanny

Philip Anderson (Sergeant Anderson)

- Age 38

-Anderson and Sherlock had a mutual dislike for each other with Sherlock repeatedly humiliating Anderson and refusing to assist him in a crime scene.

- Anderson and Donovan have an affair after Anderson's wife leaves him.

-Philip was a member of Metropolitan Police's Forensic service but was force to leave after having an affair with other office.

Sergeant Sally Donovan (Sergeant Donovan)

- Age 37

-She resents Sherlock's presents at crime scenes, calling him a freak

-She warns John that Sherlock is a psychopath and that he one day will get bored and that they would be investigating his crimes

-Sally is average intelligent and is jealous of Sherlock

-Sally worries for John and sees him as a war hero as he father was killed as a solider years ago.

DI Greg Lestrade (Detective Inspector Greg Lestrade)

- Age 39

-Works for Scotland Yard

-Has an off-on-off relationship with his ex-wife

-He is fatherly to the John and Sherlock and thinks of them as his sons

-He is very protective and was an ex-solider and served 11 years in Iraq but was force to retire after being having a series of fits after being injured.

Jim Moriarty (James)

- Age 38

-Consulting Criminal

-Psychopath and rivals Sherlock's intelligence

-He is child like and completely insane

-He spent 12 years in a high security prison were he was taught how to become a mastermind criminal

-At 24 he was a druglord and had made millions on supplying drugs and worked his way up.

Harriet Watson (Harry)

- Age 36

- Waitress

- Journalist

- Bearleque dancer

- Alcoholic

-(DPD) Dependent Personality Disorder

- (BP) Bi Polar

- Karate/ Kung Fu

Dominic Watson DeAngelus

Age 43

- CIA.

- Criminal Mastermind

- Boss of M14 (British Directorate Military Intelligence).

- Criminal Consultant.

- Strike Force Team (Project Falcon) (Major).

- Armoured Corps Officer (Corporal).

- PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).

-Sleep Walker.

- BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder).

-Judo/ Aikido/ Boxing/ Military Martial Arts.

-Security Guard for the Queen

-Boss of New Scotland Yard

Works for Mycroft Freelance

General Surgeon

-Dating Mycroft

- High functioning Sociopath

-Works Freelance Assassin Organized Criminal underground for his Mummy Vivian Shawcross DeAngelus

Chapter 1: Shut Up Anderson

Warning this bit contains: Talk of Child Abuse

Very few things made hardened police flinch-especially the veterans of homicide no one could truly escape unaffected at the battered and bruised body of a child.

Upon arrival both John and Sherlock paused, allowing a brief second to collect themselves and allow their masks to fall into place. Sherlock began to speed about the scene making his usual deductions as John put on his latex gloves and knelt next to the body indifferent.

Which seemed to pissed of Anderson if John had of seen his face "Two broken ribs suspected puncture lung, blood loss, Severe fracture skull, Vary of bruises and welts cover back area and chest cause of death I'd say is from bleeding in the brain".

Sherlock and Lestrade nodded "Eight years old, mother dead, no siblings, abusive father, no extended family-".

Anderson exploded "You freak and that pet of yours don't care do you?". "Both of you sick emotionless bastards, you don't care she was abused you're not even disgusted that she's dead, you're getting off on it! Look at you two! Psychopaths!"he sneered.

Sherlock looked sick at Anderson's implications and his face flashed with hurt.

He stepped forward angrily mouth open to yell but it never came as all eyes went on John.

John didn't notice as he took his time removing his gloves before slowly rising to his feet.

He did not acknowledge anyone, did not meet their gazes, and yet no one dared moved or look away. Everyone knew this was no longer the cuddly, jumper wearing John Watson they had come to know. This man radiated calm, danger and power.

This man gave orders and had them followed Lestrade gulped he knew this man was dangerous this wasn't they're innocent friend they had come to know and love this man was cold and sinister.

John continued to regard the floor seemingly happy to make them all wait. Until he spoke in a deep, calm and almost scarily controlled voice.

"When I was in Syria, my unit often rendered assistance to the locals even know it wasn't are job I made sure my team would offer them; Food, information, my medical skills and what ever we could spare. One day, whilst we stopped in a village we were ambushed. All those people who couldn't care less about the war, people who never touched a gun, were stuck with us as bullets came raining in. Between us and my unit managed to killed enough to force them all to retreat but suddenly a little girl who was no more than 9 years old came out covered in bruises and cuts over her little body.

She looked severely malnourished a man held he as she struggled he slapped her I and my team couldn't do anything we were still under heavy fire and all we could do was watch as the man get placed a bomb jacket on her full of heavy explosives and ordered her to walk over and pull press the trigger. I pleaded with her not to but she shook her head and said that "I have to be a good girl and follow the master of the house orders or he'll hurt me again. Please. I don't want to die a terrorist. Kill me let my die a hero".

She closed her closes as I saw she was going to do it I had no choice he spat I shot her and the man dead I defused the bomb and did my damned best to save her but she died in my arms and said "You did the right thing solider I would of pulled the trigger and at least I die a worthy death instead by the hands of my father or by the terrorist cell thank you...I forgive you".

I never showed any emotion on my face as she laid there dying because I rather she not have to witness the guilt and dread in my eyes so I smiled and comforted her but as soon as she died I left her to tend to others some which for were too far gone and begged for me help and I did nothing but watch them die".

Lestrade patted his shoulder and shivered at the memories of his own time in battle

Jonathan spoke again "Don't presume that I and Sherlock are unaffected we are capable of shelving our hearts to get a hard job done that may be heartless to you maybe you shouldn't work in this type of field and do not presume to know what haunts a person at night and alone the façade they wear during the day".

The officers clapped and Anderson looked down at the ground ashamed of himself "I-I'm sorry Sherlock I shouldn't of said those things to you and John you didn't deserve that and I sincerely apologise".

Sherlock nodded and led John from the crime scene.

Chapter 2: My darker side

After he shot the cabbie, he felt it again. Standing at the crime scene, no explanation for when he'd shown up, retired military personnel and no one even thought to suspect him except Lestrade and Sherlock, who began to reel off deductions, plenty for the police to figure it out, but they just sailed of the crime scene and no one batted an eye.

Sherlock had left the flat hours ago, apparently to purchase milk. He should have been back by now, so John left and walked to the yard. Halfway there, a flicker of blue in an alley caught his eye. Sherlock's scarf was caught on the chain link fence and the only sign of a disturbance was heavy tire tracks In the dirt. His phone vibrated in his pocket.

"Have been kidnapped. In basement in Camden. -SH".

2 minutes later John is on the phone with Lestrade giving the number of the street

"I'm going in. Goodbye". He hangs up on Lestrade's spluttered protests.

Surrounded by four men. Immediately he shoots one in the head and one of the bigger ones in the leg and then he leaps over the banister to catch the other and twisted his neck while he punched the other in the stomach and smacked him in the head with his gun.

Jonathan grins "One more to go". The man whimpers as he saw the look of the pathetic looking man who dropped his weapon and raised his hands in the air in surrender.

Jonathan laughed "I show no mercy to people intended to harm the people I see as my friends". and shoots him in the shoulder and head.

"That was brilliant John!" Sherlock praised

"Thank you Sherlock I've just killed eleven people in fact I quiet enjoyed it".

"Exactly that would be your psychopathic tendencies I was unaware until now you had you surprise me John. What else are you hiding from me?". He said curiously.

John smirked "Only if you knew. We all have our secrets Sherlock ones we keep close to our hearts".

Suddenly Lestrade came in looking panicked "What the bloody hell happened here?" he exclaims no taking his eyes of John.

Lestrade "Bloody hell John! I take it you killed the rest of them. How I'm I going to cover up this?!".

Jonathan rolled his eyes "Greg I've got it cover I have my own contacts don't worry now let's get out of here also I have made sure there was no evidence that links me to the crime and for that matter Sherlock or you".

Lestrade nodded "Do you know that those three who you killed are all trained in martial arts and are wanted for a total of nine murders among them?".

Jonathan shrugged "Easy enough to deduced. But they were no match for me I may look vulnerable but I am more than just a solider or army doctor I have skills of my own".

Lestrade snorted "Yeah mate you can say that again those skills you used aren't normal military training skills how did you come by them?. You shouldn't even know about that style of fighting".

John smirked "As I said Greg we all have are secrets. People assume they know me but they don't not fully anyway I'm a two sided coin and what you just witnessed was my darker side".

Lestrade nodded "Hopeful I never have to get to see that darker side of you. John you look scare as hell and I thought Mycroft was intimidating".

John laughed "Mycroft couldn't intimidate me even if he tried".

Sherlock narrowed his eyes studying the two "Interesting".

Chapter 3:More than just a soldier

"Mycroft, I don't care if you're a respected member of the government or if you are the government.

I demand you sending Sherlock into episodes of distress!". John growled though grit teeth as he charged into Mycroft's office, completely ignoring two security guards stood outside who had made a feeble attempt to stop the furious gentleman.

"Good afternoon, Doctor Watson". Mycroft said calmly rising from his seat behind his desk as he nodded to the security guards who followed swiftly behind John, gesturing for them to leave the room!".

"Doctor Watson, I merely requested for my dear brother to turn up to Christmas dinner this year. Mummy was distraught when I told her his reply to her invitation last year. It was a rather unnecessary and unkind thing to say in response to his own mother's gesture of love". Mycroft said with a heavy sigh.

"And threatening to make Lestrade stop his cases is your way of requesting for your brother's presence at some stupid family Christmas do?" John scoffed, rolling his eyes Mycroft and is own brother was very similar in how they dealt with they're little brothers.

Mycroft chuckled "I assure you it is not some stupid family Christmas do. I however fear that threatening my brother, as you referred to it, is the only thing that is keeping this family as a whole now. The chaos his refusal caused last year was very unsettling you see Doctor Watson. No one else has the patience I have with him. If allowed him to do as he pleased our family would have been shattered years ago.

John sighed and rubbed his face he could understand where Mycroft was coming from he nearly did the same thing if his brother allowed him to continued on the path of destruction it nearly tore his own family apart his Mummy was they only thing that kept the family together.

Mycroft looked at John's tired face and smiled softly "Sherlock's being over dramatic as usual and is being unreasonable choosing to take it out on you and don't lie I grew up with him remember?. I'm pleased you came over anyway you continue to reassure me that you are taking good care of him. I know how difficult my brother can be in the majority of times".

"Yeah well he's not so bad as everyone makes him out as". Said John

Mycroft nodded "As you are so keen to inform me every time we encounter each other".

"Yes, well no one seems to listen to me, Sherlock's sidekick the idiot doctor Watson so I feel it's necessary yo repeat myself".

Mycroft looked indifferent "Oh, no John. I assure you people listen to you. Myself being one of them.

I know you hide you're intelligence my brother can be ….naïve at times but you've completely fooled him haven't you.

John narrowed his eyes and said in a very controlled and dangerous tone "I have no idea what you're talking about Mycroft".

Mycroft folded his newspaper and stared at John calmly "We both know that isn't true John don't take both of us as a fool. I know that you are not as you seem and I know you are a very dangerous man I heard all about you rescuing my little brother. You killed more than ten people John without remorse and I can see it in your eyes you enjoyed and would easily do it again if the situation called for it.

Your a killer aren't you Sherlock doesn't know it yet but I know you're eyes tell it all but that isn't the matter at hand what I wish to know is John Watson a part of you or is he just a character you play? I know John Watson has feelings for my brother and would kill and die for him but you're not John Watson are you? Not completely so I ask you where does you're loyalty lie?".

John glared his face became cold and calculating his eyes glittered with hidden power and danger he smirked "Very good deduction Mycroft I am a tad disappointed in you that you didn't find me out sooner. I won't lie you are 100% correct in your deductions about me. John Watson doesn't exist but what you and Sherlock had seen is 100% me but I have been holding certain things about myself and personality back for everyone's own good. And to were my loyalties lie? They lie with the man I gave my heart too and don't scoff Mycroft I know that love is a weakness it makes you vulnerable but you too have given you heart away just as I gave mine.

John thought "I will agree if you do not tell Sherlock or any one unless it is a life or death situation".

Mycroft nodded seriously "Very well what is your real name?".

John said proudly "John Watson DeAngelus" and watched satisfied as Mycroft spat out his tea and his jaw hang open as he studied John cautiously "And you're only telling me this now!" he said furiously.

John shrugged "Didn't think it was important but I see you are familiar with my family".

Mycroft exploded "Familiar!? God damn it John! You bloody well know are families are close you're brother is my brother's boyfriend for god sake Hunter and Silas have been together for more than a year now! And you know fine well that I and Dominic have been going out on shall we say dates!".

John nodded "And? I don't care about what my brothers do or what you do it's got nothing to do with me don't forget Greg Lestrade is going out with Darius know it's boring who would of thought it my brothers finally coming round and joining the side of the angels how very unlike them. Stop making faces Mycroft it doesn't suit you now close your mouth before you start catching flies I'm sure Dominic enjoys your mouth open but I don't" he smirked.

Mycroft made his annoyed face "Just like my little brother no wonder you both get on so well! You're bloody so alike!".

John scoffed "I and Sherlock are very alike but we are also very different we solves crimes, I blog about it and occasionally he forgets his pants what can I say we're soul mates".

Mycroft rolled his eyes "Indeed" there was a beep on his phone he opened the message

"Tell John to come home. Mrs Hudson won't stop fuzzing. Apparently I and John had had had little domestic this is all your fault Mycroft all over Christmas dinner-SH".

Mycroft smirked cunningly "It seems my brother wishes for your presents and also John you will be coming for Christmas dinner this year Dominic told me that he was very upset that his little brother Jonathan wouldn't come and that Mummy was very distraught you are family now John like it or not you will be attending".

John raised an eye brow and narrowed his eyes dangerously "Over my dead body I will not be forced to spend time with my brothers on Christmas. There is nothing you can say or do Mycroft I will not go and that is the end of it".

Mycroft raised his eye brow "Come now John you honest believe that? You will be attending with my brother and that is finally. Also you're going to have to come clean with Sherlock that you have brothers and soon because Christmas dinner is only 2 weeks away. Don't gave me that look John I'm not asking you to tell him everything only what he needs to know".

John glared if looks could kill Mycroft would have been dead in that second "Fine! Mycroft but I will not be going to some stupid Christmas dinner. My may tell Mummy and my other brothers that they can roast their nuts on the fire and can decorate the place with parts of Dominic's dismembered corpse! Because when I get a hold of him I'll bloody kill him!" he snarled.

Mycroft gulped "John you're Psychopathic side is coming out. I'd be careful if I were you what would Sherlock say if he heard you talking like that his sweet innocent John?".

John took deep breathes to calm himself down and gave Mycroft a twisted smiled "Is this any better?".

Mycroft snorted "Indeed but you still have that look in you eyes that I assume you are imagining killing me you're very sadistic John should I be worried?".

John smirked "We'll just have to wait and see won't me?".

Suddenly he got a texted "Brother mine, are you behaving yourself I was just informed by one of my minions that you're not being very nice to Mycroft.

Also about your recent activities you must be more discreet you've been killing a lot of people you don't want to follow in Silas footsteps it took years to get our dear brother back and I don't wish to interfere but I will if you not more careful.

Mummy is becoming quite worried about you she hasn't heard from you in a while and that was a rude message you sent us Mycroft just texted me your reply about Christmas dinner with the family. I'd watch those Psychopathic tendencies of yours Silas insists we should have you tested again-D.W.A".

"Johnny boy,

Our elder brother just texted us that was rude of you Mummy would be very displeased with your manners. I don't understand what the big deal is Greg's coming sure it took a bit of sweet talk but still we're family and we rarely see are little brother.

I've heard you've changed a lot and also about this Sherlock fellow is there something you wish to tell us is our little psychopathic brother in love?-D.A".

"Hello Jonathan,

I see old habits die hard.

What a lovely message Darius just told me that you told Mycroft to tell us but I agree if you need any help with dismembering Dominic I am always willing to help.

Wink Wink Also Hunter told me to tell you that if you need help with putting Sherlock in check just ask and He'll help and that he told me to tell you both they you and Sherlock will be going if he has to drag you both kicking and screaming.

Don't forget brother dear you can run but you can't hide if you are not at Holmes manor at 2 o'clock on Christmas eve we will go little brother hunting with Greg and Mycroft.

Hope you are well not that I really care see you soon brother mine very soon also Harriet is in rehab again for her alcohol while she sorts out things with Clara-S.W.A".

"Hello son,

I take it you have received the messages from you're brothers.

Greg Lestrade and Hunter Holmes will be coming to Christmas with your little friend Sherlock unfortunately Dominic has decided to have shall we say a little talk and now he is aware of you having brothers and that he and you are being forced to Christmas dinner.

To say the least Dominic is highly impressed with Sherlock he is very intelligent although he is just was ill mannered and rude as you are but then again Dominic did kidnap him and threat him about how he treats you son.

I then took Sherlock out for coffee and explained a couple of things to him and I thought he was quiet a catch well done on finding him son and don't start that whole thing about you being just friends.

You should hear the way you both talk about each other his heart warming you should start making you move but I am sure that Sherlock will be making his soon and when I'm I ever wrong? Love Mummy".

"John,

I've just been kidnapped again now I know how you feel when Mycroft kidnaps you I will be having words.

I just had a conversation with your brother Dominic he informed me and when so far as to threaten me about how I treat you.

I didn't know you have brothers or that you're Mummy is Lady Angelus I have met her a couple of times I never knew you were her son.

Mycroft and your brother Dominic are dating and Silas and my middle brother Hunter is also dating and I suspect they will be engaged soon and it seems as Lestrade is going out with Darius.

It seems as if were the only one without a date to this Christmas dinner that we are being forced to … so I wanted to ask will you John be my date to this family dinner? And my date for tonight I have booked us a place at our favourite restaurant at 7 tell Mycroft to send a car to pick us up at half 6-SH".

Mycroft looked at John's pale face and asked concerned "John are you alright you've gone a tad pale".

John looked up "I'm ...fine Sherlock has just ask my out on a date tonight and wants you to send a car for us at half 6".

Mycroft smiled "I see ...well this is good news I take it you are going to accept his advances then".

John looked up and blushed "Shut up Mycroft ...I'm thinking".

He quickly went to his mind palace and went to the room he had for Sherlock and filed new information away when he saw Mycroft waving a hand in his face John blinked "What is it Mycroft?".

Mycroft asked concerned "You were unresponsive for nearly half an hour John".

John nodded "Yes I was busy filing new information away for a later time it took a while to sort out as I having been in my mind palace for awhile".

Mycroft "Ahh I see I wonder what else you can do so very much like my brother".

John glared "You're not allowed to read my file Mycroft I know you are dying to do so the answer is no maybe if a situation calls for it but not now it holds many of my darkest secrets even my own family are not aware of".

Mycroft now looked curious "And what makes you think I need your permission?".

John said quickly "Priority level Ultra Black". My priority level is highlythen yours and I'm the only one with the code which is uncrackable".

Mycroft narrowed his eyes in suspicion and thought "How have you got that Priority level? That is the top level either you are more important then me who is known as the British Government or you're more of a threat to national security then I thought possible".

John gave an innocent look and spoke icily "Maybe it's both Mycroft as I said I am a very dangerous man I am anything but a soldier or army doctor".

Mycroft nodded in agreement "Indeed you are but the question is what kind of man are you? Are you on the side of the angels or are you a daemon in disguise?"

John nodded and tilted his head to look Mycroft in the eyes "Oh, I am a the side of the angels but don't for one second believe that I'm one of them I am certainly no angel you might say I'm a fallen angel".

Chapter 5: Oh What now?

"Oh what now?".

"What?" looked around confused "I didn't see anything?".

"Not you John. Mycroft". He said irritated John turned in his seat and sure enough there was Mycroft walking towards them swinging his umbrella cheerfully as he walked in to see Sherlock scowl at him and John glaring.

"Mycroft what is it now? A case...no you would have sent a car to pick us up or gone to Bakers Street to wait. A favour...no you only need my help on cases ….checking up on me? Maybe, but you normally use less obvious ways like bugging our flat. What are you doing here?".

Mycroft "Can't a brother come see his little brother?".

"Of course you came here to eat, not realising we were here diet not going well?" he said sounding smug.

Mycroft was about to answer when both brothers stiffened.

John followed their line of sight and swore "How many Sherlock?".

"A dozen. There's two following behind those three and another seven on the other side of the road".

"And three in the one coming car" Mycroft added .

Sherlock glared at his brother for a moment "Can we out run them?" asked John.

Sherlock smirked and eyed his brother "We can both I highly doubt my brother could too many cream buns".

Mycroft glared back John nodded taking charge "Lets go somewhere with less civilians".

Sherlock gave John a confused look "You expect us to fight?".

John smirked and took out his bag and opened it which was full of his toy's "Not fight, kill I came prepared I knew that the gang was going to be planning an attack but I didn't think you and Mycroft would be here when they decided to attack. Mummy has assigned my their death warrants now chose what weapon you want we haven't got much time".

John chose

- Browning Model 1903

- Magnum Research 1985

-Spyderco Warrior Combat Knife

- Zero Tolerance Knife

- Blackhawk Dieter CQD

Sherlock chose

-Colt Anaconda 1990

-Webley BullDog 1872

- Ka-Bar Marine classic combat knife

- Gerber Guardian Dagger Knife

Mycroft Chose

-Colt Model 1848

-Colt MEU (SOC) 1986

-Boker Army fixed blade

-Kershaw Blur

-Gerber LMF

Mycroft asked "John are these registered? And what the bloody hell are you doing with a bag full of guns, knives and explosives where did you hand grenades and explosives?".

John shrugged "We all have are secrets Mycroft and to answer you question no these guns aren't registered why would I have my weapons registered to they could be traced back to me? That's stupid these are my toy's when I go out to play and to answer your question about the explosives I made them in the flat in my brother room.

I am an expert in explosives and that includes making them I also have a masters degree in chemistry like Sherlock I like to do my own experiments you know I just don't leave mine along like he does".

Mycroft "There's nitroglycerine putty In your bag do you know how irresponsible and dangerous this is what if this bag fell into the wrong hands John!".

John smirked "I don't care Mycroft plus my toys always stay with me plus once I'm finished with them I'll put them back where they were safe".

John led them to a narrow alley way and texted his on his phone then closed it "How long...?".

"If they continue at their current speed 34 seconds".

John shifted so he was standing slightly in front of Mycroft and made Sherlock stand to beside him knowing Sherlock's fighting style had a lot to be desired he himself come easily disposed multiple opponents in seconds without serious injury but on the other hand Mycroft was an unknown element he knew his elder brother would of taught Mycroft a few skills in fighting he just hoped that Mycroft picked up on how to his brother would kill him if Mycroft was killed or fatally injured.

The six men came round the corner John smirked and looked very intimidating and dangerous the old John was gone in place was a slightly crazed Psychopath "Pensavo che la mia famiglia ha reso molto chiaro che si dovrebbe seguire le regole del boss ma si disobbedito agli ordini. Ora avete il coraggio di me un bersaglio che hai appena firmato le proprie condanne a morte". (Italian – I thought my family made it very clear that you would follow the boss's rules yet you disobeyed orders. Now you dare to make me a target. You've just signed your own death warrants).

The six froze looking very nervous and a cowardly man gasped "Boss! Questo e il piu giovane del DeAngelus e il piu pericolosco. E 'uno psicopatico sanguinario! Un assassino che ho sentito su di lui dicono che sia spietato e senza scrupoli un assassino di massa sadico. (Italian-Boss! That's the youngest of the DeAngelus and the most dangerous. He's a bloody psychopath! A murderer I've heard about him they say he's a merciless and ruthless sadistic mass murderer.)

John laughed and took out his knife and through it which stuck in one of the men's necks he tackled the first and finished slitting the man's throat and then shot the other.

Sherlock shot 3 and Mycroft stabbed 2 and shot one.

John watched as his boyfriend was dodging punches with ease as he whacked the man over the head with his gun and then Sherlock took a glance at John who started butchering one of the men which caused him to be covered in blood.

Jumping up he began to check around for Mycroft who was standing a few feet away. Facing off with two opponents one threw a punch which Mycroft grabbed and used the momentum of the man to throw him into his fellow. Which John quickly stabbed and shot and twisted the other's neck.

Mycroft caught John's eye and smiled amazed at John's skills quickly he counted the number of dead attackers and came up with twelve. Where's the other three Sherlock and Mycroft were fighting together with the other two of the missing men. Sherlock was darting and ducking out of reach while Mycroft used his umbrella like a sword then shot the man in the head.

John suddenly grabbed the man that was fighting with Sherlock and stabbed him in the groin ans the felon dropped to the ground dead.

John grabbed the boss who was currently pleading for his life "Please...John...show mercy I have a family".

John laughed "John Watson isn't here at the minute but if you would like to leave a message I'll be willingly to take one your talking to John DeAngelus the nice soldier army doctor is gone you know who I am I take no prisoners and I do not show mercy you tried to harm my family and that is unforgivable".

He started snapping the man's fingers who screamed and looked at Sherlock and Mycroft with pleading eyes but they weren't watching him they were watch fascinated at John as he began to slash and brand his trade mark into the man's skin when suddenly he heard a cough John rolled his eyes and without looking through his knife aimed at the man's head who caught he swiftly.

"That wasn't very nice Jonathan. What would Mummy say if you had of succeed? What did Mummy tell you about playing with your knives".

John glared "What do you want Sy? Shouldn't you be with Hunter".

Silas smirked "I'm here because Dominic is too busy to clean up your messes and Darius is also busy pleasing Lestrade so Mummy made me go but I see you've been having fun again I would watch that if I were you we don't want our little brother following in my footsteps do we? Plus I can't believe you brought Mycroft or Sherlock with you on one of your tasks Dominic would kill you if his little pet was harmed".

Mycroft scoffed "I am no ones pet Silas but if I am a pet what does that make you?".

Silas glared and sneered John smirked "Indeed now I am taking them home to 221 B Bakers Street to check them over they did pretty good and I see Dominic has been teaching Mycroft some of his skills".

Sherlock scowled and followed John which made Mycroft surprised that his little brother didn't protest "Hurry up Mycroft. When I get into a fight John goes into doctor soldier mode and if I don't do what he said then he makes life unbearable until I follow orders so I suggest you do the same because I'm sure one call to Dominic he'll be straight over and keep you bed ridden for a week".

Mycroft cringed and followed quickly hearing Silas laugh and call them whipped as he studied his brother's handy work impressed.

Chapter 5: Where do we draw the line?

After tending to Sherlock and Mycroft he throw himself in his chair and closed his eyes and sighed he knew that he was losing himself with all this secrecy and killing he knew he would never be the same again.

He felt the urge one that had nearly cost him his life many years ago what if his old habits were the only thing keeping himself sane he had never felt this way before he was changing into someone he didn't know and that scared him to no ends.

He quickly excused him but the Holmes brothers took no notice as they were both busy taunting and arguing with each other.

He would no longer allow himself to feel numb he began to type. It started out rough, but he didn't have the mind to change it. These are his most inner thoughts. They don't need to be so clean cut as his other blog needed to be.

My name is unimportant but I will use Fallen Angel as a nickname. I don't know really what to say here.

He bit his lip and tilted his head. Good enough. No one was following him, yet anyway.

Lets see were shall I begin. I am a man, and like like men and women but my heart will always belong to one person. I sometimes wonder why he still has me around I'm not anything special I have issues and they I consider are weak they make me vulnerable and I am ashamed but nevertheless they are mine and mine alone.

I have proof of that self harm scars, PSTD and old track marks still left on my arm from my teenage years and they effect me and all sorts of people, regardless of nation, gender or class.

I can help those who are having trouble dealing with these if anyone needs to talk I only ask that you are patient when you decide to check my blog, because I am sure these posts are going to be getting heavy. Just now, for the first time in 3 years I felt the need to use a knife or shoot up.

I want to well I guess that isn't the complete truth I though about doing it briefly a few days ago but it was in response to nothing.

Life has been pretty decent. I've just been hanging around the flat with my boyfriend sure he is a little difficult to deal with but honestly. I owe him a lot I fear if I had never of met him that I wouldn't be here or I would be in prison following in my older brother's footsteps you see my family there isn't a typical word to describe them except unique being far from normal.

I've not had these sort of desires in years...and now I am completely baffled as to why now I've started having trauma flashbacks again more intense. I was an army doctor, Soldier and so much more that it is classified to say.

Oh my apologises I've said far too much for my first post. Please talk to me if you ever need help. I'm in the medical field so I know a thing or two. Here's my number if you get into trouble and you need help don't hesitate to call and my assistance is free of charge. 028953567220 that is all- Fallen Angel.

John started at his post. Now his heart really did stop or was beating to fast in his chest it liked his blog but did he really want to release it to the world to see? What If someone recognized him? What if Sherlock found it?.

John knew it was for the best and he clicked publish the next morning John stretched his fingers over the keyboard.

Fallen Angel,

I did it I gave into temptation and I got my old favourite drug of choice and I shot up last time granted I feel a lot better but I fear that I can't allow myself to continue.

I am a doctor I know what the dangers are and the side effects yet I didn't care the need and the want over took me now I know how my boyfriend felt you see he too was an ex drug addicted but he stopped for me was I self fish? I am here I am doing the exact same thing he did 2 years ago and I don't know what to do I was a heroin and cocaine junkie when I was a teenager I have an addictive personality I become addicted to things more easily.

Mummy when she had enough with my self destruction forced me into rehab and made me go cold turkey the pain was unbearably even the people there felt sorry for me and my doctor nearly when in so far as to stick me with cocaine just so it would ease the pain.

I swore that day I would never touch the stuff again and look I have just broken my own promise I'm a failure and my boyfriend and family deserve a better angel then me.

I know that I'm going to have to stop this now before I find myself lost in it but I just feel so alive no one understands what it is like I have killed people even if for duty or self defence but I find myself becoming someone I never wanted to be.

I find myself turning into ….my father he was a cold abusive bastard he was the one that taught I and my brother Sy how to kill and take pleasure in doing it my brother become addicted to killing and found himself in jail I have lost my brother until recently he has changed with the help of his boyfriend.

Sometimes I feel so lost and dead inside I am a freak and when I was growing up all I wanted to be was normal an average person with an average family my sister she's an alcoholic and currently in rehab my eldest brother I rarely see and we have never seen eye to eye and my middle brother we are arch nemesis the only one that understands is Sy but he is a psychopath through and through and feels nothing unlike me I have only got psychopathic tendencies and I still have emotions which are currently killing me.

I really don't wish to disappoint them or my boyfriend. He's come to mean so much to me. He's the one person in the world who has the capacity to keep me sane.

Well I have to go guys before he comes back and we go do our jobs-Fallen Angel.

Sherlock came in to John's room without knocking and raised an eyebrow at John's pale nervous face

He grabbed a metal bowl of sufficient size and he the strangest thing making John blink he was collecting metal things such as knives, scalpels and box cutters. "John I need your help. Need it or demand it, its your choice. Now I want you to go to the bathroom and other rooms and get all the metal you can, then return it to me. Blades most preferable. I will take them and melt the, down into individual components and test their relative purity. Hurry!" He looked at John whose face would probably be screwed up for days from the confusion and fear expression that was in his face.

John studied Sherlock's face he was sleep deprived but he knew John knew Sherlock knew his secret he schooled his face with indifference "Sherlock you are sleep deprived go take a nap and if you still want to do this experiment after you take your nap so be it".

Sherlock grimaced "I know how the body works. Not a doctor, but still. And I will sleep after this-".

John huffed "Sherlock-"

Sherlock looked at John his face for of concern "Fine but keep your phone on and I will be collecting all the metals I said for my experiment when I wake up and you certainly don't need to touch them".

John spoke accidentally out loud "Oh god" realizing what Sherlock just implied and then his face when red with fury "I don't want to know how you know! I am going out! And don't you dare breath a word of this to anyone and certainly not my brother Sherlock or even your brother he is a loud mouth and those secrets were mine not yours and it is none of your business! Just get some sleep and we'll talk later".

"Yes we will John and also I will be checking you're room later for any stash you might of hidden for me and you'll be moving into my room later on" Sherlock said simply as he ascended the stairs.

John grabbed his coat "I'm going out and I have no idea what you're talking about!".

Sherlock nodded "Remember John no buying drugs while you're out. I'll know and I'll be very disappointed if you come back high".

John spluttered "Bloody hell Sherlock I wasn't planning to!".

He slammed the door not waiting for a reply he got out his mobile and decided to text an old friend "Hey Anna,

It's John Watson remember me I was just wondering if you wanted to go for a drink

like old times before I joined the army-JW".

"Hello John,

Sure I'll meet you at are old place you know where. Meet me in 10 minutes can't wait to see you again I've missed you-AF".

John had waved down a taxi and it pulled up to a huge nightclub were he when with Anna when they were teenagers.

John spotted her and smiled softly "You haven't changed much Anna still the rebellious fighter in you".

Anna blushed "Don't forget you John you were as bad as me maybe even worse but I don't see the rebellious John anymore all I see is the fighter ashamed that this government reformed you".

John snorted "Trust me Anna I am not reformed I am no puppet to the government as people seem to think the rebellious fire still burns within me".

The woman clapped "There's the old John I knew come on this go have some fun".

2 hours later "Anna I'm just going to the bathroom could you watch my drink?".

Anna nodded and smiled and watched John stagger to the bathroom she then got an e tablet and put it into John's drink "I'm sorry John but I will not let my best friend be reformed I want the rebellious fun and reckless John back. I've seen your eyes their cold and dead you're life has been sucked out.

She also filled a syringe with Heroin and sighed sadly "I will do anything to save you John even if it gets me killed I know how you are easily addicted to Heroin and how much you hurt being forced of it. I love you too much to see you an empty shell of your past self you're coming home to live with me.

John came back and smiled and kissed Anna cheek in thanks and drank his drink "Thanks Anna you're a great best friend".

½ hour later John was in full swing and going wild making Anna laugh this was her old John wild and free she took John's phone and texted his boyfriend "Sherlock,

I won't be going home tonight I am staying at a friends house.

We're catching up on old times plus I just think we both need a bit of space love JW".

Sherlock was busy looking for John's stash when his mobile phone buzzed he opened it and frowned John wanted space? But he said that he would talk to him? Unless he's gotten high and doesn't want to be bursted by him. Sherlock frowned and his fists shook in anger.

"John,

Fine you don't have to come home tonight but you made me a promise that you have broken and if you don't come back tonight to discuss your problem then I am calling my brother and don't protest I will do it as a last resort I love you John and forgive you just please come home-SH".

Anna smirked his Sherlock believed she was John she frowned a bit she knew if John wasn't high right know he would be very upset with her.

"Sherlock,

I'm sorry but I can't do what you want I don't care. I am busy at the minute my friend wants me to dance with her.

Listen I love you but just give me a bit of time to get myself sorted I need a bit of time alone to clear my head you can understand this can't you?-Love JW".

Sherlock frowned and punched the wall in frustrating he rang his older brother which he loathed to do but he was worried for John.

Mycroft: What is it brother mine? What could you possible want at this time of night?".

Sherlock sighed: You know I wouldn't call you unless I needed your help or to taunt you. It's John-".

Dominic: What's my baby brother done now?" he said bored but with a hint of concern

Sherlock took a breath: He's relapsed. I found out about it and another thing and he when off with a friend out and I don't know where he is and I assume he is high because he won't come home to talk and say's he needs space from me to clear his head and get himself sorted. I'm worried if he is high somewhere then anything could happen to him in that state.

Dominic hissed: What! That bloody idiot brother of mine when I get my hands on him I'll bloody kill him! How dare he do this to me again after what happened last time ".

Sherlock could hear in the background his own brother trying to calm Dominic down

Mycroft: Sherlock we'll find him and bring him home. Don't worry John will be fine until I and Dominic get a hold of him.

Sherlock: Goodbye Mycroft. Dominic just bring him home to me and preferable alive.

Anna had called a taxi and pulled John with her they ended up in an abandoned hostel she push John onto the bed and waited till he feel asleep and injected him full of Heroin and had done it several times during the night.

She kissed his sweaty head and a single tear fell from her face "I'm so sorry John what I've done to you".

2 weeks later all over the news was John Watson – Missing. John Watson -Possible Kidnapped. 50,000 reward for John Watson alive. Any information please contact this number 028953567220.

Anna looked at John he was in a right state it looked worse than a junkie he couldn't go without Heroin for over an hour.

Anna blinked back tears and called the number it was Mycroft Holmes that answered

Mycroft: Hello? This is Mycroft Holmes I take it you have information on ?

Anna croaked: I- I do Mr. Holmes. I need you to listen to me tell Sherlock and John I'm so sorry I didn't know how bad he would get I just wanted my old friend back.

Mycroft took a sharp breath: What do you mean? What have you done to John Watson.

Anna was now in a fit of tears: He called me that night he went missing and I took him to a nightclub he told me everything Mr. Holmes he had relapsed once and he said he would never touch the stuff again he was so confident yet his eyes were cold and dead I just wanted my old rebellious wild friend back. He asked me to look after his drink while he went to the bathroom-.

Mycroft voice was stone and icy: What did you do?

Anna croaked: I slipped an E tablet in his drink and texted your brother using John's phone then I took him back to our old place we used to go to get away from his father and I drugged him I injected him with Heroin several times so he wouldn't try and get away but he's got worse he can't go without it for more than an hour and he is starting to scare me.

Mycroft voice seethed anger: Where is he?.

Anna sobbed: At an abandoned hostel 32 miles from his flat please tell him I'm so sorry.

Mycroft voice was strong: You will stay with him to make sure nothing else happens to him and I swear if you have harmed him long term I will personally make sure your body is never found when my brother or John's brother get a hold of you I will come because if Sherlock or Dominic see him then they will kill you.

Mycroft rubbed his face and called Dominic in and Sherlock into his office "Sherlock. Dominic I've found John.

Sherlock seethed "Where is that bastard?!".

Mycroft frowned "John was kidnapped that night he was drugged with Ecstasy by his old best friend and then she stole his phone to text you and then she brought him to an abandoned hostel and injected several times with Heroin so he wouldn't get away".

Dominic growled "Where is he and that bitch?!".

Mycroft placed a hand on Dominic shoulder "She called me a few moments ago to tell time me that John isn't doing so good it seems that John can't go without Heroin for more than an hour and that he physical isn't looking to well and that John is beginning to scare her".

Sherlock punched the wall "I've been blaming John and it wasn't his fault all along! Tell me where he is if he can't go without Heroin for an hour than the withdrawal could kill him. He's going to have to be weaned off that shit! And I am going to have to watch him 24/7!".

Mycroft nodded "Not alone brother mine you will be staying here with John he is more suitable for his needs and I will be going personally to collect John and don't protest you two my word is final now you both have two people behind you and they will sedate you if necessary".

Dominic "John is dangerous he could snap you neck like a stick in seconds my little brother doesn't think straight don't forget his PTSD if something or someone sets him off then you may consider yourself dead! And I will not allow that to happen.

Mycroft nodded "I know all that Dom that Is why you're mother as sent me near enough an army to go with me".

Sherlock narrowed his eyes "And that woman who got John in this state?".

Dominic smirked "She's ours".

Mycroft sighed "Yes well you'd have to find her first and you have John to worry about and getting him better".

Mycroft arrived in time to see Anna crying coward away from John who sleeve was rolled up littered in self inflicted scars and cuts and track marks and a dead man laying on the floor beside Anna.

"I tried to stop him but John's dealer wanted more money that I didn't have and refused to get John his Heroin so John killed him.

John filled the syringe and tied the belt around his arm and pushed the Heroin into his vein and pushed the plunger and sighed in relief and Mycroft paled at the sight as he saw his brother all those years ago doing what John had just done.

He walked showily and knelt down beside John and took the syringe out off John's hands.

John croaked his voice raw and full of pain " ….Sherlock …..Sorry...failed...you...My blood... is on fire right now yet my body feels so cold my muscles are cramping and aching my head feels like it is breaking in two my heart is racing yet my pulse is steady at the minute I am burning on the inside and I know I will never made it through a withdrawal it will kill me this time and you know what I'll made sure of it...I love you Sherlock".

John closed his eyes some of his Mummy people strong tough men broke down in tears at see a man they once looked up to look this why some even cried openly.

Mycroft pulled John into a hug "I know John it's not you fault come on it's time to go home".

John frowned and looked at Anna who was trembling "Can I go home now Anna. Lock and Nick are probably worried" he said in a childlike voice.

Anna nodded traumatised "Y-Yes J-John g-go home".

John tried to stand and fell back down "Can't my leg hurts that man hurt it".

Mycroft looked worried and said calmly "Let me see it John?".

John nodded and moved his leg so Mycroft could see the small broken knife blade sticking out off his leg

Mycroft took a sharp breath "John...how long has that been in your leg?".

John counted on his fingers "One hour 32 minutes and 17 seconds".

Mycroft swore "Dom,

John is injured he had a fight with his drug dealer and kill him but the man stabbed him in the leg and the blade snapped off and his currently stuck in his leg and has been for an hour 34 minutes 32 seconds. We can't allow him to go into hospital you have wide range of medical experience I need you to get you're medical kit ready-My".

John smiled "I need help to stand will you help me please I need to get home to Lock and Nick".

Mycroft nodded and glared at Anna will gasped at the wound and he grabbed John and pulled him to up onto his shoulder making sure not to hurt his injured leg or shoulder.

John weight next to nothing which surprised Mycroft and helped him into the car and they drove off once they got to the manor John was sweating profusely as the drug took effect and moaning once they got their Mycroft lifted John and opened the door when Sherlock rushed to John's side and his eyes burned with guilt and angrily tears when he saw the state of John.

Dominic nearly collapsed as Mycroft lay John down on the floor as Sherlock pulled John's head into his lap and stroked the dirty sweaty hair from John's face.

Sherlock started ripping John's clothes off and froze when John opened his eyes and smiled and reached out and cupped his face "What would people say if they saw you ripping my clothes of love?".

Sherlock let out a sob/chuckle "I'm so sorry I should of never let you go".

John slurred "Not you're fault I shouldn't off trust anyone but you with my drink".

Sherlock continued and got frustrated and ripped the buttons off John's shirt and pulled it off him and gasped at the scars, old cuts and cuts that were infected.

"Oh John come on we need to get you home so we get you all better again darling".

John smiled "I'd like that lock".