I was watching a youtube parody of full metal alchemist, its called "Nullmetal Alchemist" (ITS HILARIOUS!) and i wanted to write something based on one of the lines when Ed was imitating Roy Mustang. I suddenly was inspired to write this…. so i did.
This is my first Fullmetal Alchemist one-shot EVER, so be nice, even if i don't get something right.
And i wasn't sure which name to stick with, for Riza/hawkeye and Roy/mustang/colonel bastard, so ill just keep switching between them. Also, there are NO pairings in this fic.
There will be an important notice at the bottom, so if you skim this at least read the end notes. (Important to me anyway.)
I do not own FMA (Sadlly..) Or any music implied or used in this fic…
START OF CHAPTER:
"Wait till he gets a load of this." Ed snickered. He was currently hiding in Mustang's office, and going through the older man's documents and such.
It was really childish, Ed admitted that. What he was doing was simply going through the documents, and either drawing or adding something that would purposely embarrass Mustang. He also found his stamp and signed it.
But there was one thing that topped it all. Ed wrote out a document by hand in a messy imitation of Colonel Mustang's handwriting. Many times Riza had threatened to shoot him cause he'd go all sparkly-eyed and try to pass some crazy perverted dress code "Improvement" for the women. (The highlights being the multicoloured underwear and mini-skirts)
But now it would look like he had actually finally defied Riza and passed a new dress code anyway. To seal the deal, he even put some love hearts with Riza's name in them.
"I can't wait to see his reaction." He quietly laughed some more, than, after a little while, he was finally finished.
How did the office remain empty you ask? Simple, Ed had slipped a false note to both Riza and Mustang, to meet each other at opposite sides of the building.
Making almost no sound, he exited the office and was walking through the rain (Typically) back home, it was also well past midnight. He knew very well that Al was no born liar, except in extreme cases and prompting by Ed to keep his mouth shut. It worked most of the time.
So he had left his younger brother back at the dorms they lived in, and set out in the dark to pull of the prank on his own.
When he got back, Al was sound asleep on his bed. (which was specially made to hold the armour's weight) He got into his own bed, and a grin crossed his face.
"I got my revenge colonel bastard. I can't wait to see his face." And with that amusing thought, he drifted off to sleep.
THE NEXT DAY: (RIZA'S P.O.V)
That did it! Roy never showed up last night, for some time i had denied the growing feeling that i had for him. For a reason i couldn't figure out, i had to fight a blush whenever he turned that smug grin of his my way, and so far had succeeded.
So now i was extremely pissed that he couldn't even keep a simple promise. If a man couldn't even keep a simple meeting like this….
ROY'S P.O.V
I was a little depressed after last nights disappointment. Riza had left me a note to meet her out the east side of the building, and i waited there for a few good hours before giving up.
Now to face the absolute horrors of paperwork. I almost bolted when Riza gave me a cold glare as i entered my office. And to top that off, that Fullmetal pipsqueak was late with his report, again.
When i got into the office and sat down, i gaped at the pink walls that used to be my office. (Ed also decorated the room a little using a paint bomb) I could feel my face turn red with both anger and embarrassment. Hughes had walked in, and collapsed laughing.
"WHO THE HELL MESSED WITH MY OFFICE"
ED'S P.O.V
I made sure to "give my report" a few minutes late as usual, which was no problem for me, considering Al had to drag me out of bed in the morning. He had seen me go to sleep, so he was giving a suspicious glance every now and then. But he didn't notice a thing thankfully.
But it was just as i was entering the front doors that i heard the shout.
"WHO THE HELL MESSED WITH MY OFFICE!" Roy- or should i say, Colonel bastard, had obviously discovered my little paint job last night. I would have burst out laughing, except i would have given the game away, not to mention the wrath of both Mustang and Hawkeye…. that would be really scary.
When i walked in, it took all of my self-control to not just collapse laughing. The look on his face was priceless.
"Morning Colonel Bastard." I said cheerily, nothing out of the ordinary about that. He scowled at me, then went back to complaining about the unfair amount of "Boring old paperwork" he had to do.
Riza then began to sort out the papers on Roy's desk….then her face went pale, and did something i wasn't expecting.
She punched him in the face.
I quickly placed my written report on mustang's desk, the angry Riza making me edge out of the room while trying not to make it look obvious.
"And where do you think your going Fullmetal?!" I froze where i was standing, "You haven't given me your verbal report on your mission." Oh, right…
"Just another out-of-the-way town sir, the mission went fine." Which was the truth, i hated deserts for a reason, and still did to this day.
He sighed in annoyance, then waved lazily at me in a shooing motion, "Fine then pipsqueak, you can go."
I walked out the door with a smirk as i stopped at the doorway, "See ya later, you lazy-ass bastard."
I had never been so relieved to be out of that cramped, and now rather girly, office. I had timed it just right so that words would appear from the transmutation circle i hid in the paint job.
I couldn't help but think that the bastard got what was coming to him. And on top of all that, i had one more surprise in store for him.
A smirk spread across my face.
RIZA'S P.O.V
What had just happened? When Roy baited Edward like that, it was the usual reaction for him to start yelling and shouting right back until they broke something. But to only throw out that one insult before leaving.
"Roy, do you think something's wrong with Ed?" I asked, His head jerked up from his paperwork in surprise.
"What do you mean? He seemed fine to me." A slight concern on his face, as much as he tried to hide it.
"He just had this weird look on his face, somethings off…" When my gaze drifted to the wall. I gasped and covered my mouth, attracting the attention to the wall.
The walls were bad enough now that some idiot made them pink, but now words were appearing on the wall.
I, Colonel Roy mustang, am the biggest kiss-ass in the entire military, i can't remember a imd when i wasn't brown-nosing my way up the ladder in ridiculous and degrading ways.
And i enjoy it. You're welcome Riza, anything for my little sunflower, you can open these musty old closets anytime
Love: Roy
Next to it was a crudely drawn image of roy bending over and shining fuhrer Bradley's shoes. Hughes and the other soldiers in the room were rolling on the floor dying with hysterical laughter. Someone was gonna pay for this when Roy found them, if i knew him, which i did…
ROY'S P.O.V
What the hell! I most certainly am not a giant kiss-ass!
As the seconds ticked by, i was losing more of my rapidly dwindling dignity. And the soldiers laughing at me and exclaiming "Here pussy puss puss!" Were not helping… at all….in the least….
I had some investigating to do, whoever was behind this was gonna get torched to a crisp when i got my hands on them.
AT THE END OF THE DAY
Well thank god for that, no more sitting in a pink office with boring paperwork and listening to hughes and the others laugh at me all day long.
As the day wore on, the pink had slowly started to fade from the walls, but not before pictures of the wall were taken…. i just knew that was gonna come back to haunt me someday….
Finally i could go home and relax, without being embarrassed tomorrow….
if only he knew how ironic that would be the next morning, and how mortally embarrassing the day would be for me….
END OF CHAPTER
So what did you guys think? Oh yeah….
THE IMPORTANT NOTICE;
This fan fiction is a two-shot Birthday dedication to my friend, Super Shadow21, who is a year younger than me.
So wish her a happy birthday today, and go read some of her Sonic Fanfictions :D
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUPER SHADOW21! :P