(Author's Note: This story incorporates a few characters and events from some of my previous Loud House works. It's not necessary to read those to enjoy this, but it is worth a mention.
This story also contains lyrics from the song "Play It Loud" from the Loud House episode "Really Loud Music". Those lyrics were written by the Loud House crew, not by me.)
O-O-O
Sam Sharp was ready for one of the most exciting nights of her young life. It wouldn't be exciting because of anything that was happening to her, though. Instead, it was Sam's girlfriend, Luna Loud, who was about to compete on the hottest reality show on television, America's Next Hitmaker. Normally Sam didn't watch normally watch the show; while she was definitely into music and loved watching live performances, America's Next Hitmaker was dominated by bubblegum pop, not a genre she was overly fond of. Her favorite reality show was Cooking A Meal In Thirty Seconds While Suspended Forty Feet Above Hot Lava. But she'd be down for watching anything that Luna was in, and she had a feeling that her girlfriend was going to crush those pop stars with some good old fashioned hard rock.
"So Sam, do I need to order some snacks for the viewing party?" Sam's mother called from the other room.
"Nah," Sam replied. "Actually, I'm not gonna be watching it here, I'm heading over to-"
The doorbell rang.
"I'll get it," said Sam, getting up from the couch and heading over to the door. When she opened it up, she saw someone unexpected but always welcome. "Luna?"
Luna was standing in Sam's doorway, but she looked... different. She was all decked out in a pink wig and an elaborate pop star dress. She looked completely unrecognizable, but somehow, Sam could see through all of it.
"Dude, you're like the first person who recognizes me in this getup!" said Luna, a surprised smile on her face.
"Are you kidding? I'd recognize those eyes of yours anywhere, even slathered in five layers of makeup," said Sam, inviting Luna inside. "What's with the outfit, anyway?"
"It's for the show tonight," Luna said, looking a bit embarrassed. "The producers wanted to make a few... tweaks to my look."
"Uh, but you already looked perfect," replied Sam, raising a quizzical eyebrow.
"That's what they said," Luna agreed, "just before they told me to change."
"Wow, harsh," Sam groaned, looking more than a bit annoyed that the producers of America's Next Hitmaker couldn't see Luna for the amazing, beautiful, special girl she was. "So you'll be singing 'Play It Loud' in that?"
"Actually..."
Luna explained to Sam how she didn't think 'Play It Loud' would appeal to everyone watching the show, and so she'd come up with another song at the last moment. She sang a verse of 'What Everybody Wants', an infectiously catchy but also somewhat annoying modern pop song, and though Sam looked extremely surprised, she also found herself bopping her head along with the song.
"Well... bubblegum pop definitely isn't my thing, but you pull it off pretty well," said Sam with a smile. "I gotta say, Luna, I'm surprised you changed your mind about that other song... I thought it was really amazing, and it's disappointing that I won't be able to hear you sing it in front of the whole world."
Luna slumped her shoulders, and Sam could see a frown forming on Luna's face. She immediately tried to take back her comment, but Luna shook her head and placed her hand on Sam's shoulder.
"I know, brah, I liked that one better too," said Luna, smiling but still somewhat sad.
"Listen, Luna... no matter what you go out there and sing, you're going to do an amazing job," Sam replied. "The whole world's going to get to see Luna Loud out there, and if they love you even half as much as I do, you'll win in a landslide."
Sam's sweet words made the last of Luna's sadness go away, and she leaned in and gave her girlfriend a tight, tender hug.
"Thanks, Sam," Luna replied, holding Sam's hands as the two parted from the hug. "I just hope that after I win, I get to perform some songs that are more my thing, you know?"
"Hey, like I said, you pull off 'bubbly Gen Z pop princess' really well," Sam said, prompting Luna to glare at her. "Pink looks pretty good on you."
"Yeah, well maybe after I win I'll make you try this thing on," Luna added, lifting up her wig and playfully pushing it toward Sam's head.
The two spent a few seconds playfighting with each other, giggling the whole time. Then Luna put her wig back on and turned toward the door.
"I'll see you tonight!" said Sam, waving Luna goodbye. "Break a leg!"
After Luna left the house, Sam made her way back over to the couch, still thinking about that crazy outfit and wig that Luna had on and that song she was going to be singing.
I hope you know what you're doing, Luna... thought Sam, unable to keep herself from worrying. I know it's for a good cause, but the Luna I know would never change herself that easily...
O-O-O
Luna walked back up to the porch of the Loud house, returning to pick up a few things she'd need before heading down to the studio to perform. As she walked up the steps, the door opened, and Luna saw yet another unexpected person... who was about to greet her in a most unexpected way.
"...Carol Pingrey?"
Carol was wearing a gorgeous purple dress, and as she stepped out onto the porch, all the birds in the area flocked to her side, perching themselves on the overhang as she began to sing a song.
It's so wonderful to see you
And just magical to be you
Luna could hear an orchestra performing song that would not be out of place in a Disney movie, and Carol's voice sounded just like that of a princess, light and fluffy and full of whimsy and wonder.
You're so special to me
And the whole world can see
That my friendship with you is so magically true...
Carol began to twirl and dance on the porch as the orchestra swelled up to match her powerful singing.
I'm so happy that I could fly
Dance with me, just give it a try
Carol extended her hand to Luna, who took it and began to dance on the porch with her even though she had no idea what was going on.
And then maybe you'll see just how special you are
Just how special to me
Oh, just for the moment I'm dancing with you
Holding your hand is the moment I knew
As Luna and Carol twirled on the porch, the birds continued to fly around them in a beautiful pattern, while the sun shined through the clouds and lit up the puddles on the wet grass with a sparkling rainbow of color.
That I could never, ever be blue
Just spend this moment with me
And I promise you
Promise that I'll set you free
The song slowed down, and Luna and Carol's dance came to a stop, as birds perched on Carol's shoulders.
Whether it's right, or whether it's wrong
This is my kind of song...
Carol released Luna's hands, and Luna stood there on the porch facing her.
"...uh... hello?" asked Carol suddenly, snapping Luna out of her trance. "Are you another one of Lori's friends?"
"Huh?" Luna stammered, before placing a hand to her forehead and groaning. Oh man, another one of those weird song hallucination thingies...
"Wait a minute... Luna?" asked Carol, recognizing Luna's raspy voice. "What in the world are you wearing?"
"This is for-"
"Because it looks awesome," replied Carol, walking around Luna and looking her over. "This dress, super stylish. This wig, amazing! I mean, I never took you for the popstar look, but wow, you're really rockin' it!"
"Um, thanks?" Luna replied, before letting out a sigh. "Actually, it's for my appearance on America's Next Hitmaker tonight."
"Oh yeah, Lori told me!" said Carol, an excited look on her face. "If I'd known you were gonna be on there, I'd have gotten myself a ticket! But it's totally sold out... which is fine, since I'm gonna host a viewing party for like, everybody at school. Your girlfriend's gonna be there I think!"
Luna couldn't help but give a smile of gratitude that Carol was so excited to see her perform. Luna had only recently gotten to know Carol Pingrey, after she and Lori had become best friends. Luna and Carol had actually bonded somewhat after Carol revealed that she had a crush on Lori, and though Lori couldn't reciprocate, Luna and Sam had a long talk with Carol about what it was like to be a girl who was attracted to other girls.
And... I gotta admit, Carol's pretty cute herself, thought Luna, who was still blushing slightly from that Princess Carol hallucination she'd just had. Not as cute as Sam, but I could totally see myself dating her if Sam and I hadn't found each other.
"Luna, are you okay?" asked Carol, waving a hand in front of Luna's face. "You're kinda staring off into the distance a little bit... you're not nervous about tonight, are you?"
"Kinda," Luna replied, sitting down on the porch. Carol sat down next to her, opening her ears to listen to what her friend's sister had to say. "This outfit, my song... they weren't my first choices for tonight. I wanted to go on as me. You know, rockin' my purple threads, my pixie cut..."
"Well, why don't you?" Carol asked.
"I agreed to go on wearing this stuff," Luna replied. "Besides, I signed a contract, I'm pretty sure I could get sued if I don't do what the producers say."
"Hmm... you know, my dad knows some really expensive lawyers and I could totally get them to defend you for free if you got sued," offered Carol, reverting for a moment to her 'popular rich girl' mode.
"Heh, thanks," said Luna with a chuckle. "Might keep that in mind... but no, I think I'll go on like this and sing my pop song. No matter what happens, I'll still be Luna Loud, you know?"
"That's true," said Carol. "I remember being kinda nervous when I first went to talk to you and Sam about my... crush. Thought you guys would think I was weird, you know?"
"Weird is awesome," replied Luna, smirking warmly at Carol. "I gotta be honest, when I first met you I thought you'd be some stuck up b..."
Luna hesitated.
"Bitch?" Carol finished, smirking back. "Oh, I still can be that sometimes."
"Nah, you're super cool," said Luna. She took a few moments to look Carol over, and realized that the purple dress she was wearing hadn't been a hallucination. "I almost forgot to ask, what's with the dress?"
"It's never too early to try on prom dresses," said Carol, "and I wanted to show it to Lori to see if she liked it. Which she did."
"It looks really nice on you, Carol," replied Luna. The two girls stood up, and Luna could see from the setting sun that it was starting to get close to when she'd be due at the studio. "Well, I should probably get going... it was nice to see you again though."
"Nice to see you too, Luna," said Carol, taking Luna's hands in hers. "And remember what I said... if you really feel like being 'yourself' tonight, don't worry about anything else."
"I just... don't want to throw away my big chance," said Luna.
"A girl who rocks as much as you? There'll be plenty more chances," Carol replied, before finally releasing Luna's hand and turning to leave. "Good luck!"
As Carol got in her car to head back home, Luna couldn't help but think about what she'd said before leaving. She turned back to the door of her house and looked down at her outfit, wondering if maybe, just maybe, she was making a mistake agreeing to go on like this.
There'll always be another chance... but... right now this is the only one I can see. I know what you said, Carol... and Sam, I know you'll be disappointed in me, but... I gotta do this. Like this.
O-O-O
"So tell me again why we're having this thing at Carol Pingrey's house?" groaned Sam's little brother Simon, clearly not enjoying himself amongst the crowd of teenage girls and a few teenage boys at Carol's house for the big viewing party.
"Because Carol's family is rich and they have an awesome home theater setup with an 85-inch curved 4K TV and twenty thousand dollars worth of surround sound speakers," said Whitney in somewhat of a ribbing fashion, playfully smirking at Carol.
"Whatever," groaned Simon, slumping in the couch and placing a can of soda in its built-in cupholder.
"Heh, in a few years he won't mind being surrounded by teenage girls," joked Sam to Carol, taking a seat right up front to watch the show. Carol, who'd changed out of her prom dress back to a more normal outfit, sat down next to Sam.
"I don't mind it now," Carol joked back, prompting Sam to giggle. "All right everybody, the commercial's almost over, Luna's going on next!"
Everybody took their seats in front of the television just as the America's Next Hitmaker theme played to signal the end of the commercial break. Carol looked over at Sam and could see that she was excited and smiling, but also looked quite a bit nervous.
"Hey... Luna's gonna do great out there," said Carol, placing a comforting hand on Sam's shoulder.
"I know, it's just..."
Sam didn't want to say it, but Carol could already tell. Sam wanted the world to see Luna for who she really was, not some pink-haired pop princess. And even though Carol liked pink-haired pop princesses a lot more than Sam did, she shared Sam's sentiment.
Come on, Luna, thought Carol, looking intently at the screen. You know who you are.
"Our next contestant hails from Royal Woods, Michigan!" announced Doug, the co-host and one of the producers of the show. "Please give a warm welcome to... Lulu!"
"Lulu?" Sam and Carol both exclaimed in unison as the curtain peeled back to reveal Luna on stage.
"What the fuck?" Simon suddenly exclaimed, prompting Sam to look over at him with a surprised expression.
"That's not Luna!" shouted Jalenda, one of Lori and Carol's friends. "She looks like Baylor Quick!"
The entire room started to fill with murmurs. Even though most of Carol's friends liked bubblegum pop stars, they all knew Luna, or at least knew about Luna from all the things Lori had proudly told them, and none of them expected to see her looking like this. Meanwhile, Luna's rocker friends, who were gathered toward the back of the room, were shouting in disbelief, mostly profanities similar to the one Simon had just uttered.
But most shocked of all were Sam and Carol.
"That guitar doesn't even have strings," Sam whispered quietly. "They're... not even gonna let her play?"
Luna looked utterly lost up on stage. Sam, Carol, and their friends gathered in the room could see it in her eyes. She didn't want to be there, and they couldn't bear to watch her like this.
"Luna... this isn't right," said Sam, begging a television that couldn't respond to her. "Luna, you know this isn't right!"
"This isn't you," Carol said quietly. "You can't let them do this to you..."
Luna was looking all around. Back toward the curtain, at the producers... back into the audience, toward her family... while millions around the world looked on... and dozens of Luna's friends in Carol Pingrey's theater room.
Sam and Carol could only watch helplessly as the girl they cared about was about to have her soul ripped out of her. They both closed their eyes, not wanting to see the look in Luna's eyes as she stood there on stage 'performing' something that went against everything she'd ever worked for.
"Sorry," said Luna, tossing the stringless guitar away. "I've made a huge mistake."
Sam and Carol looked back up at the screen. The murmuring in the room stopped, and for a moment, everyone got quiet.
"This isn't me. I'm not Lulu! I am Luna Loud!"
And as Luna tore off that wig and tossed it into the crowd, the smiles on Sam and Carol's faces couldn't have been wider.
"Luna...!" Sam exclaimed quietly, her heart starting to beat faster and faster.
And their smiles only grew as Luna tore back the curtain to reveal a massive speaker setup, and a guitar that she'd pulled seemingly out of nowhere. She began to play a driving, heavy metal rock beat... her music. Her song.
Rock and roll is runnin' through my veins...
"YES!" Sam screamed at the top of her lungs, jumping out of her seat. Carol jumped out a moment later, letting out a squeal of pure joy as the rest of the people in the room chanted 'Hey! Hey!" in tune with the music.
Electric soul like wires to my brain
Luna's bandmates began headbanging furiously, and even Leni's friends were dancing to the beat, even the ones that completely hated rock and roll.
Can't be wrong, don't need direction
I can find my way
Now even Simon was perking up, his lips curving into a smile.
Play it loud! Play it loud!
I got no time for turning it down!
Play it loud! Play it proud!
I live it, I breathe it
Don't tell me I don't need it now!
By now, Sam was on the floor, playing air guitar with reckless abandon, lost in exhilaration, excitement, and overwhelming joy for the girl she loved. Carol's reaction was somewhat more subdued, remaining seated on the couch while squealing her lungs out like she was at a boy band concert.
Play it loud!
Sorry I'm not sorry, for being proud!
Play it loud!
Turn it up until your speakers blow out!
As Carol continued to sit on the couch squealing, Sam suddenly extended a hand to her. As soon as Carol took it, she was being dipped very low on the ground, Sam leaning over her and holding her. Neither of them could wipe the smiles from their faces, and the two continued their wild rock and roll swing dance as they watched Luna perform. The entire room had become an impromptu rock concert, with teenagers jumping all over the Pingreys' expensive furniture. Everyone was yelling and cheering, but thanks to the surround sound system, Luna's song could still be heard over all the celebration.
First things first, I ain't no second place
Rules are meant for bending til they break
Right or wrong with no exceptions
Rockin' out my way!
Sam and Carol had stopped dancing, and now the two of them were kneeling in front of the television, watching Luna's incredible performance in complete awe. They looked knowingly at each other, with Sam feeling extremely grateful to Carol for allowing all of them to experience Luna's moment like this, and Carol realizing just how lucky Sam was to have a girl as amazing as Luna.
Play it loud! Play it loud!
I got no time for turning it down!
Play it loud! Play it proud!
I live it, I breathe it
Don't tell me I don't need it now!
Play it loud!
Sorry I'm not sorry, for being proud!
Play it loud!
Turn it up until your speakers blow out!
Until your speakers blow out!
Until your speakers BLOW OUT!
Sam and Carol were hugging each other tightly, tears in their eyes as they watched the end of Luna's performance. Both of them were beaming with glee, their hearts pounding from their excitement over the performance and the spontaneous dance the two of them had shared in front of the screen. Most of the rest of the room was cheering, with Simon standing up on the couch yelling loudly for an encore.
I knew you could do it, Luna... thought Sam, looking at Carol, who was feeling the same joy that she was.
That's the real you... the amazing Luna Loud... thought Carol, sharing a giggle with Sam as the two finally realized what they were doing.
"So, Carol... you said you saw Luna when you were leaving her house..." Sam finally managed to ask, her voice slightly raspy from the exhilarated screaming she'd been doing. "What did you say to her?"
"Whatever I said, it was all Luna," Carol replied, her own voice also somewhat hoarse.
On the screen, Luna was looking toward backstage, talking to someone. Some yelling could faintly be heard, but the microphone didn't quite pick it up.
"Yeah," Luna replied to whoever had been speaking to her, "but I know what I'm keeping. The real Luna Loud!"
Luna turned back toward the crowd, and their ecstatic ovation could be heard for just a moment before the show cut suddenly to commercial. Whatever had just happened, whatever the consequences were, Sam and Carol both knew that Luna would be okay.
"Sam!" shouted Simon excitedly, plopping himself down on the floor behind his older sister. "Your girlfriend kicks ass!"
"Yeah," Sam replied, not caring about her brother's cursing. "She really does."
Damn right, thought Carol, laying down on the floor and looking up at the ceiling with a sore throat and an immovable smile.
O-O-O
"So right before I left, I asked Chunk to get all my rock and roll stuff and bring it down to the studio just in case," said Luna. She was seated on the floor of Carol Pingrey's bedroom with Sam and Carol the day after the taping of America's Next Hitmaker, debriefing them on everything that had happened. "And after Doug and Michelle told me I had to lipsync my song and play it with no guitar as Lulu, I had him get everything set up."
"It's amazing nobody found out all that stuff was back there," said Sam.
"That's why Chunk's the best," Luna said. "He's a real miracle worker."
"I can't believe you actually did all that," said Carol. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I knew you could, but even I had my doubts that you actually would... I just hope you didn't get in any trouble. Besides, you know, getting disqualified from the competition."
Luna smirked and whipped out her phone, showing off just how many views and likes her performance had gotten. Even with the producers of the show scrambling to keep it under wraps and pull down all the uploads, there were still over 100 videos on Youwatch alone... the most popular one had gotten 15 million views, and as for how many 'likes'...
"Oh my god," exclaimed Carol, "That video has a thousand times more likes than all my selfies combined."
"Yep, and still going up," Luna replied, only for the video to display a 'Sorry, that video has been deleted!' message the next time she reloaded it. "Aw, come on!"
"Well, we saw it and all our friends saw it and that's the only thing that matters," said Sam, placing a hand on Luna's shoulder. "It does kinda suck that you won't get that record deal."
"Are you kidding? Those record deals keep you tied down performing crappy pop music for years after you win," said Luna. "I don't even think Carol's dad's lawyers could've gotten me out of it."
"Well, they certainly would have tried!" said Carol.
"Anyway, I've gotten like five record deal offers this morning already from people who saw my performance," said Luna, "but I turned 'em all down. At least for now. This whole experience has kind of made me take a long hard look at the music business and what it's really like. I mean, don't get me wrong, I still want to be a famous rock star, but... I don't think I want to get into the industry right now after seeing everything that happens behind the scenes these days."
"Like I said, no matter what happens, it's important for you to stay true to yourself," said Sam. "I can't believe they wanted to make you into a bubblegum pop princess."
"Well, I've got you guys to thank for reminding me of what's really important," said Luna, reaching out and taking one of Sam's hands and one of Carol's.
"Me? Really?" Carol replied, looking somewhat surprised. "What did I do?"
"You reminded me that there's no such thing as a last chance," said Luna, smiling warmly at her. "And you reminded me that I've got lots of people supporting me, not just the ones I already know."
"And I meant it too," said Carol, tightening her grip on Luna's hand. "You totally rock."
"And Sam..." said Luna softly, looking into her girlfriend's eyes. "You reminded me that no matter how I look or what I sing, I've always got people who love me for who I am. You reminded me how important it was to be me."
Sam leaned in and quickly smooched Luna, holding her hand tightly.
"You'll always be Luna Loud, no matter what," said Sam. "That's why I love you."
"And I love you too," said Luna. She pulled both Sam and Carol closer. "Without what both of you guys said yesterday, I wouldn't have had the courage to do what I did. So thank you... thanks for always having my back."
The three girls exchanged a warm hug in the center of the room, holding each other for nearly half a minute before letting go. Then they sat there, talking and laughing with one another for a little while longer until the conversation drifted back to a certain bubblegum princess...
"I gotta say though, you really do pull off that Lulu look," said Carol.
"Aw, come on, that wasn't me at all!" replied Luna, blushing a bit as she remembered just how embarrassing it was to be all dolled up like that.
"...to be honest, I... kinda agree," said Sam, blushing even more than Luna was. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I prefer the way you look right now, but seeing you like that was kinda... interesting."
"Aw dude, not you too!" shouted Luna.
"You gotta admit, it's an interesting combination... the hard rockin' punk girl and the pink pop princess," said Sam, gently elbowing Luna in the ribs.
"Like that new movie A Singer Is Made?" Carol suddenly chimed in.
"Yeah! Oh man, you've seen it too?" said Sam excitedly. "Have you seen the ones from the 50s and the 70s too?"
"I've got them both on Blu-Ray," said Carol proudly. "But I love the new one!"
"I do too!"
"Guys, guys, guys!" said Luna, trying to calm down both her friends. "I think we can all agree that the new A Singer Is Made is totally awesome and when it comes out on Blu-Ray we're totally marathoning all four of them..."
"They made four of them?" asked Sam.
"Oh yeah, the original from the 30s," said Carol. "I think that one's on the Imperion Collection, I'll have to go pick that up."
"But we have to talk about this thing you guys have for me as Lulu," said Luna. "Sam, you seriously think I look good in that wig?"
"I think you look good in any wig and it'd be nice to have some fun with you like that sometime, but if you don't want to it's okay-"
Luna suddenly pulled out the Lulu wig and put it on.
"I guess I don't... totally hate this thing," said Luna with a smirk. "I had to swipe this thing from Lola's room though, so I hope she doesn't notice it's gone."
"We won't mess it up too much," said Sam, leaning in and taking Luna's hand before quickly smooching her on the lips... and then kissing her much more deeply. "So Lulu, I thought you didn't go for rocker types... you said we were totally gross."
"Not all of them," said Luna, pulling Sam close. "Besides, I'm all about giving the people what they wa-a-a-a-ant..."
Sam couldn't help but giggle as Luna sang that last word, and began to kiss her deeply again.
"Uhhm, are you guys gonna keep making out in my room?" asked Carol. She didn't look at all annoyed, but she was blushing profusely and had a nervous look on my face. "Because... that's totally fine but maybe I should give you some privacy...?"
"Do you want to give us some privacy?" asked Luna with another smirk. "Sam, do you want Carol to give us some privacy?"
"She doesn't... have to," said Sam, extending her hand for Carol to take in the same manner in which she'd offered her that dance in front of the television. "If she doesn't want to."
Carol was tempted... extremely tempted... but she wasn't quite as comfortable with the idea as Sam and Luna were, and they could both see it on her face. They smiled softly at her, and Luna giggled and pulled gently away from Sam.
"It's okay brah," said Luna, giving Carol an understanding look. "We just didn't want you feeling left out."
"Maybe... another time?" asked Carol, still blushing as the two girls sat holding hands in front of her.
"Sounds like a plan!" said Sam, gently pulling the Lulu wig from Luna's head and putting it on her own. "How do I look?"
"Like Baylor Quick," Luna replied, snickering.
"Cool, Baylor Quick is hot," said Sam, keeping the wig on for the moment.
"Hell yeah she is," replied Carol, feeling her blush finally start to come down. "I'm guessing you guys aren't fans of her music though?"
"Not really, but it doesn't matter what we think," said Luna. "I think I realized something else... a lot of those pop princesses really do love what they're doing. I mean, that's who they are, and I bet they get the same kick out of performing music that me and Sam do. So I'm happy for her, and I'm happy for whoever won America's Next Hitmaker instead of me. As long as they're playing it loud and playing it proud, then it's all good."
"That's... really sweet of you, Luna," said Carol.
"That's why I love her so much," said Sam, holding Luna close and kissing her on the cheek. "She's totally badass and totally sweet."
"She's totally Luna," added Carol, and both Luna and Sam nodded in agreement.
"And I could never be anyone else but me," said Luna.
Carol Pingrey never imagined she'd find so much to love about not just one of the Loud sisters, but two.
Sam Sharp never imagined she'd find a girl whose song synced up so well with her own.
And Luna Loud never imagined she'd throw away her biggest chance to be famous and be completely at peace with it, all because of the dear friend she had in one and the true love she had in the other.