Daily Prophet, 3 June 2003
Election Insanity
Election Day is fast approaching, and the question on everyone's mind is: what do we do with the magically insane?
You may remember the Death Eaters, dear readers. Those foul, scum-of-the-earth supporters of You-Know-Who, who terrorised this glorious country for several decades. However, as we near the date of the Minister of Magic election, the most prominent topic in this year's campaign is slowly turning from the punishment on Death Eaters to the treatment of the magically insane. Following last year's decision to close down Azkaban, due to the inhuman conditions and unpredictability of employing Dementors as wards, outraged citizens have demanded a new punishment that rightfully reflects the amount of damage this group has inflicted upon British wizarding.
Departing Minister of Magic, Kingsley Shacklebolt, however, made it his last mission as acting Minister to solve the issue with the Death Eaters by declaring them magically insane.
'New research has shown that the long-time influence of Voldemort, much like the long-time influence of a Horcrux, does indeed do irreparable damage to wizards and witches. These individuals are not only a danger to themselves, but to others as well, and the only fitting way to treat such an individual is through psychosomatic treatment.'
Amongst the new research is a psychometric measuring of these dangerous individuals as suffering from something, known to Muggle psychiatrists as a Borderline Personality Disorder. This disorder causes instability in a person's moods and behaviours, as well as psychotic episodes. Although the disorder in itself is not a guarantee that a person should react violently, it has been suggested by leading Mental Healer, Cho Chang, that the wizarding world's archaic understanding of magical insanity can cause the people in question─especially when collected in a group─to believe that what they're doing is a normalised form of behaviour since it is not a recognised illness.
Following these new discoveries, however, the leading candidate for Minister of Magic, Daphne Greengrass, has made a surprising statement that she promises to implement a punishment-like environment on St. Mungo's Janus Thickey Ward, which deals with long-lasting spell damage. The Janus Thickey Ward is already locked off, but Ms Greengrass has set about to chalk up prison-like procedures for the future of the ward.
Ms Greengrass, who herself was known to socialise with what later turned out to be Death Eater while at Hogwarts, has a surprising history for a young Ministry candidate with such opinions. When asked about the possibility of her plans pushing already established sensitive cases to suicide, she replied, 'I think many people kill themselves simply to stop the debate about whether they will or they won't'.
Following the sweeping statements of the frontrunner in the upcoming election, several dissenting voices have fought to be heard. Hermione Granger, spokesperson of several humanitarian causes, has been adamant in rebuking Ms Greengrass' statement, calling the Ministerial candidate's statement a 'limited and destructive view upon people with very serious illnesses,' and stating that this sort of speech from a candidate for our most influential Ministerial post gave her chills down her spine.
Also on the offensive is war hero, Neville Longbottom. Longbottom, whose parents are both residents at the Janus Thickey ward from the mental damage caused by the Lestranges and Barty Crouch Jr., was also one of the people against treating Death Eaters as magically ill, calling the solution "ad hoc" and "unsustainable".
"If we treat criminals as magically ill, it won't be soon before we start treating the magically ill as criminals," the young Herbology professor stated during the uproar over Kingsley Shacklebolt's decision, rightly predicting the current statements by Ms. Greengrass.
Percy Weasley, the other major candidate for the position of Minister of Magic, has been unreachable for comments on Ms Greengrass' Death Eater campaign.
The election, set to Monday, 15 June, will certainly be an interesting one. Meanwhile, the discussions and feelings run high concerning the issue of the Death Eaters. Whether or not we like it, dear readers, the Death Eaters have been declared criminally insane. Now is the time to decide whether to let go of the vengeance that so many rightly feel or to punish the rest of the magically insane along with them.
We here at the Daily Prophet encourage all our readers to vote and to vote wisely.
Prompts
Occasion and Style Challenge/Competition: Newspaper fic
Sophie's Bookshop Challenge: Girl, Interrupted.
Prompts: Borderline Personality Disorder, Psychiatric Hospital/Ward, "I think many people kill themselves simply to stop the debate about whether they will or they won't."