Chapter 1
[A/N-None of these characters or setting belongs to me, they do belong to the great J.K. Rowling. I make no money from this!]
These are Harry's thoughts and feelings after the Battle ended. (One-shot:complete)
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Guilt After the Battle
Why?
So many have suffered.
It's not my fault, right?
My heart will never mend.
This guilt will always stay as a dark spot on my soul.
How will I ever face any of the Weasleys again? George will hate me that his twin was ripped from his life. Ron will never forgive me for taking his favorite brother. Mrs. Weasley will not be able to love me as a son any more. I could never make up for the loss of Fred.
My godson will always blame me that he is growing up without his mum and dad. I will try to relate his pain with mine growing up without parents. He will not see it as the same. His parents came to fight because of me.
Guilt is killing me every step I take through the once, majestic castle. Bricks strewn on the ground and blood on the stairway. Bodies still laid out in strange angles, cold and not moving from where a Death Eater struck them down. Bruises pepper their pale, stiff figures.
Then there is Snape. All these years I detested the man. His sneers and glares. His harsh words. His death finally proved his worth. He is a hero.
Guilt. So much sadness with the metallic smell of blood drifting through the air.
Where will I find my redemption? What if there is no such thing for someone like me? The rest of my life may be lived without hope or without love.
Each face that stares up at me, eyes closed, with no words that will ever be spoken from blue tinged lips.
My feet drag through the rubble kicking a stray wand recently dropped from a fighter's hand.
Guilt.
Guilt.
Guilt.
I can't stop the tears that cloud my vision.
Shame spirals through me; my head drops as I can't meet another set of eyes that glare at me as I pass.
A wave of nausea hits me as I taste the bile rising in my throat.
I need just one sign. A Sign from someone that life will go on. That I will someday heal.
A cold hand touches mine. I look up to meet the eyes of the woman I love. I am barely able to breathe. My chest tightens with fear. What will she say? Yes or no?
Arms circle around my neck as she whispers words of how grateful she is I'm still alive.
She loves me.
She wants me.
She needs me.
There is still hope kindled bright. My guilt has a chance of maybe leaving some day. Fresh energy enters me.
Life...will...go...on.
-The End
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Just a one-shot that snuck up on me as I sat writing a chapter in another story. I hope you were able to feel how Harry struggled at the end of the Battle and beyond. This would not be something you would've bounced back from immediately. Let me know what you think. Thanks!