A/N: This collection of oneshots is being written by two people: Crystal (England's Porn Box) and Zoey (Beyond Unique Light). [some of you may know Crystal by her old pen name, Crystal x Apollo]

We'll be taking turns writing each oneshot, so we apologize in advance if the in-character-ness varies from oneshot to oneshot ^^;

France was, per usual, humming a French tune and prancing around his kitchen wearing nothing but an apron. (Nothing means NOTHING – underwear included.) He was quite hungry, but didn't know what to eat. Of course, a nice helping of vital regions sounded nice… but it was the holidays, and even France knew better than to bug poor Canada during hockey season. He wasn't in a cooking mood, so he decided that a snack would suffice. But what kind of snack?

France opened a cupboard and was suddenly buried under an enormous pile of fortune cookies. When had he gotten those? He didn't remember ever getting Chinese food… Russia would get mad, anyway. He swam through all the cookies, taking a handful with him. After safely escaping to his living room, France cracked open one of the supposed-cookies-that-look-nothing-like-real-cookies and read the fortune.

It is time to visit someplace exotic.

…Exotic? France liked the sound of that. But he had already been all over the world, so he decided to change to fortune to suit his tastes.

"It is time to visit someplace exotic… in bed!" France exclaimed aloud. Now this sounded like a good idea. And, how convenient – Canada just happened to have a number of tropically-located private islands for sale. So, after counting his pennies, the incredibly dirty-minded Frenchmen called up his old pal Canada.

"Bonjour, Mathieu," he greeted when Canada picked up.

"O-Oh, hello Francis. What is it?" the Canadian replied.

"Well, you see, I heard that you had some private southern islands for sale…"

France could almost hear Canada's panic. "U-Um, you don't say? That's interesting…"

"I would be willing to pay double that of the original price," France said seductively. Canada couldn't refuse an offer like that.

"U-um… alright… we have one southern island available, just south of the Bahamas… I'll take you there tomorrow," the younger blonde promised, already regretting it.

"Thank you, Mathieu. Talk to you tomorrow, onhonhon.~"

And with that, poor Canada's fate for the following day was sealed.

The next day….

"Bonjour!" France greeted Canada as they met up at the airport. Canada gulped and waved lightly back. They boarded a private jet to what was soon to be France's private island. As of that time, the island had been the last of the Canadian Virgin Islands.

The plane landed at the island in a few hours.

"F-Francis… why do you want to buy one of my islands so badly?" Canada asked nervously.

"Well, you see, mon ami, not only do I get the pleasure of naming them…" France began, suddenly moving in to whisper in Matthew's ear, "but I was told it was time to visit someplace… exotic."

Canada blushed. "W-What does exotic mean?"

"I'll have to show you…"

Two hours later…

The two lay on the beach, a towel covering their naked bodies.

"So, Mathieu, tell me… what shall I name my island? I was thinking… the French-Canadian Vital Islands?" France suggested.

"I-It's your island… y-you can name it whatever you want…" Canada whispered. Then he realized something. ...This was my last Virgin Island…

Moral of the story: always add "in bed" to the end of your fortune cookie fortune – especially if you're France.

A/N:

This chapter written by Crystal, aka England's Porn Box

Next chapter will be written by Zoey, aka Beyond Unique Light

There's not actually any Canadian Virgin Islands (sadly…)