A/N: This story completely ignores the Lucy Caboosey story-line.
We grew up together, Santana Lopez and I. We met on the first day of elementary school. She was kind of skinny, wore her hair in braids and the fire in her brown eyes was already lit. I didn't like her at first. She was too pushy and she often got into fights with the other kids. She would mainly play with the boys, running around in the school yard, they were chasing after each other, or a ball or squealing girls.
I was a quiet child. Books were my best friends from the day I started to piece the letters together, cracking the code and gaining entry to the world of literacy. From an early age I always kept a book in my bag. I still do.
For some reason Santana seemed to like me. She would often come and sit next to me when she wanted a more quiet moment. We'd talk and sometimes she would nag me to do something but mostly we would share a companionable silence. Often at lunch, we would just sit there contently and eat our food. Then she'd run off again, like she had just needed a moment to recharge. She never invited me to join in their games. Maybe she knew I wouldn't have liked to but wouldn't be able to refuse the offer anyway.
We invited each other to our birthday parties and such but almost never played at each other's houses after school or at weekends. We were probably too different and we both knew that we'd bore the other eventually during the course of an afternoon. But we still shared an ever growing friendship.
In third grade there was a new addition to our class. A tall lanky girl with long blond hair. She wore unusual outfit combinations and she'd say the strangest things at times. But Santana was taken aback from day one. I would catch her secretly looking at the girl at school. In class she'd throw quick glances in the girl's direction every so often. Sometimes she'd outright stare, thinking no one saw her. But I did.
I asked her about it one day.
"Can't you see how pretty she is?" Santana answered simply. There was the slightest bit of annoyance in her voice.
The girl's name was Brittany. Yes, she was pretty I supposed. Her hair was golden, not unlike mine. She had unusually blue eyes that would sometimes get a really dreamy look, imposing an impression of an otherworldly being. To me, Brittany quite often seemed a little awkward. But I wasn't about to tell Santana what I thought.
Despite the slight awkwardness Brittany seemed to like most people. She was cheerful and friendly. She seemed totally oblivious to the hierarchies and unwritten social rules of the elementary school setting. She'd plonk herself down next to anyone at lunch and strike up a conversation or partner up with even the most unpopular kids for school projects. Something that would normally mean dragging your own social status in the mud. Something I would never do.
But however strange she was, Santana was drawn to her like a fly to a sugar cube. On the occasions she found Brittany watching her, she'd blush profusely or do really silly things to impress the tall girl. At one time she was running across the schoolyard she caught sight of Brittany looking at her. She completely missed a rock on the ground in front of her and I watched her take a spectacular dive on the rough asphalt. Brittany yelped and rushed up to her to see if she was hurt. Santana had scraped the palm of her hand and her left knee was bleeding from an abrasion. With a concerned look on her face, Brittany bent down and leaned over Santana with her hands on the tiny Latina's leg. I think Santana's knee hurt but it didn't stop a huge smile from spreading across her face.
Brittany wasn't a stupid kid but calculus didn't come easy to her. It did to Santana though. I had asked her about that too, how she could be so good at maths.
"I don't know", she said. "It's like I can just see the answers in my head."
And so one day she shyly offered to help Brittany with her homework. I could tell she had thought long and hard about it before she asked and I dare say her face was strawberry coloured when she stuttered out the question.
"Um. Eh. Hey Britts. I was wondering if... Erm. If you want, I could help you with your maths homework because… Erm... I like, I thought, I was thinking... That you might like some help and I…"
Her voice trailed off as she looked up and saw Brittany's face lit up with delight. I watched Santana's face grow an even deeper shade of red as Brittany enthusiastically accepted the offer.
They gradually spent more and more time together. Santana was a tough kid but with Brittany she turned softer. Brittany was the only one who could cool her hot temper. As small as Santana was in stature, she had a hell of a bark. And occasionally bite too. Brittany made Santana laugh, goof around and be as carefree as a little girl her age always ought to be.
Middle school drew to an end and we enrolled at McKinley High School. My high school years held some of the best and worst times of my life. I guess I share that with a lot of people.
As we grew older the three of us spent more time together out of school. Santana would come up with crazy ideas for what we should do. Brittany would usually get caught up in Santana's enthusiasm and my job was to prevent us from doing stuff that would actually get us killed or arrested.
Santana would coax me.
"Oh come on Q. You know you want to…" and she'd smile mischievously at me. It was hard to say no to Santana Lopez. I imagine it still is.
One night when we were fourteen we had a slumber party in Santana's house. Her parents were way for the weekend and we had the place to ourselves. Dr. and Mrs. Lopez regularly left Santana home alone and me or Brittany, or both, would usually stay over with her. We'd call for pizza and watch a movie or play music really loudly on the stereo and dance in the huge living room. Brittany was a really good dancer even back then. She had taken dance classes since she was six but no amount of dance lessons would have let her move like she did if she hadn't had a good amount of natural talent. Her movements were fluid and always in perfect time with the music. Our dance sessions would often end with me and Santana sitting on the floor watching Brittany shake loose. It was awesome. Santana was always mesmerised and I watched her pupils dilate as she took in the image of the dancing girl. She couldn't get enough.
Santana had once told me she wanted to kiss Brittany.
"Just to see what it's like. I'm a curious person." She shrugged. She tried to make it sound like just another one of her crazy ideas but it wasn't. We both knew that. She was just trying to make up excuses.
"Are you shocked?" She looked at me intently.
"Maybe a little", I replied lamely. She looked pleased.
Of course I wasn't but I didn't want to steal her thunder or freak her out by divulging I'd always known. Frankly I was surprised they hadn't already kissed.
Anyway, on this particular night in question, Santana had decided it was time for us to start drinking. That's what she told us. She reasoned everyone would be drinking at parties soon and we'd better not look inexperienced, come that day.
We raided her parents' liquor cabinet and poured out a small amount from each bottle into a jug. In the end the jug was more than half full of brownish liquid. It smelled awful and tasted worse…
I am embarrassed to say I don't really remember everything that happened that night. I can recall that we were dancing like idiots, singing gleefully along with whatever played on the stereo until we were hoarse as crows. Smoking the cigarettes we found in a kitchen cupboard probably didn't help either. I remember at one point we were lying in a pile on the floor laughing so hard tears were streaming down our faces and our bellies hurt. But the one thing I remember the most from that night was waking up in an oversized armchair in the dark living room. My head was still spinning from the alcohol and my body was aching from the uncomfortable position. As I was trying to remember where I was I caught the sound of quiet whispers and soft moans from the couch. I couldn't see them clearly but I understood they were kissing. Santana was lying on her side with her back to me and I could see Brittany's arm wrapped around her.
I felt deeply embarrassed. Not because I thought they were doing anything wrong but because I felt like an intruder. I felt my presence was defiling something beautiful. I was never meant to witness what they shared that night in the dark. I tried really hard to go back to sleep. It took a while. Don't ask.
A/N: Thanks for reading. Hope you liked it.
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