Poisonous Dishes
Main Character (s): Jenny, Frank, Steven, Flona
Hello everyone! Welcome to my retake of Apartment Friends! I decided it'd be hectic to only write something like that, so this fic is full of OC daily life! As you can see, on the top there, are the main characters for the chapter you are looking at. So this might not be your favorite chapter, but I'll write more soon! Oneshots, this is the focus for this fic, so there's no main plot for the story, but instead, there's a plot for each chapter! Ideas don't come naturally, though, so there could be a hiatus between each one, but right now, I have already got an idea for the second chapter. Enjoy this new collection! P.S. As you could've guessed, everyone lives in apartment suites together, I'll put up a list of who lives in which suite, they do have some effects to some oneshots' plots, but mainly, they are all neighbors of each other's.
Bros Suite: Frank, Andy, Evan, Parker
Power Girls Suite: Vivian, Lily, Nicole
Crazy Suite: Steven, Jenny, Flona
Clumsy Suite: Allen, Katty, Sabrina, Keegan
Jenny Aquarink doesn't understand. Why cannot she cook properly? Sure, she could whip up something, but it's the effects on people that eat them.
Even Nicole could cook something. Yes, Nicole will always try to chop everything into bread crumbs before steaming it, resulting in black sand and a pot with a big hole on the bottom. But it doesn't give special effects on people that eat the dish. One other thing is that Nicole could actually make things that you don't need heat to make, such as sandwiches.
Whenever Jenny tries to make sandwiches, it always gets poisoned somehow. Could it be that she is poison itself?
With determination to be able to cook properly, Jenny stepped into the kitchen of her suite. She made sure that she has driven Steven and Flona away before she actually starts cooking, so they won't see the mess that she will make and she have time to clean the kitchen up.
But one of the problems with driving the airhead and the tomboy away is that will the plan work?
"Oh, I swear, Jen has strange ideas sometimes." Flona Willie flipped through another page of the boring book that she was reading. Jenny has given her and Steven passes to go to the local library, and gave them discount tickets that she has incase that they want to buy any books. "Knowing her, she's probably trying to drive us away from the house."
"Yeah, like, we don't have the same interests as her though." Steven Idile tried to understand what the book was saying.
Flona peeked over, "Steven, you realize that you are reading a horror novel?"
"Oh, but I thought it was, like, humor or something." Steven stated dumbly.
Flona sighed and took the book, immediately, a scholar hat and a pair of glasses appeared on her and a teaching stick with a finger appeared in her hand. After that, a blackboard with the necessary information appeared behind her as well. "Now, my dear student, today we shall study books."
"But it's like, so boring though!" Steven interrupted as he threw his arms up high.
Flona coughed to get his attention, but the absentminded koopa didn't pay the slightest attention to her. "The book you are reading is 'House of the Reaper' by the author 'BoomShroom'. It is a horror novel."
"Anyone will know that, because it's like, written on the cover!" Steven said as if it is obvious, finally giving his attention to her.
Flona glared at him, "Anyways," She used the finger stick to point at the blackboard behind her. "There are many genres of books, such as the one that you are reading is horror. But you thought it was humor. Don't ask me how, because I should be the one asking you. Then there's the lovely romance genre, followed by the fantasy genre. Adventure is also a good one as well. I also enjoy a good historic novel sometimes if it interests me."
But by that time, Steven was sounding asleep.
Sabrina Tale passed them, being working at this library. "Um, I bet something isn't right here, how come they, out of everyone come to the library… Um, wait, I think I could think of a few others before them that never come to the library…"
"Oh, will you wake up?!" Flona screamed at the koopa, who didn't wake up. "Fine then, take this!" She used a heavy dictionary to bash him up.
Steven snapped away, "Ah! My head is spinning so it's like, the end of the world!"
Flona immediately stopped and raised an eyebrow as all of her teaching props disappeared, "Come again?"
"My head hurts, so it's like, the end of the world." Steven told her again.
Flona was still confused, "Alright, have you ever heard of the word 'headache'?"
"Like, what's that?"
"I'll take that as a no."
"Oh god, I need to buy the latest edition of 'Bombcraft'!" Evan Electro screamed inside the bros suite.
But as Parker Steelix is out for work, Andy Void is updating his blog inside his room, so Frank Flare was the only one that could talk to him. However, Frank's eating so thus, it would take quite a while before Evan could get an answer to his statement.
10 minutes later, Evan has already gone out of the apartment to get the newest edition, forgetting that he could do an online payment in his room instead. "Oh, what a great meal!" Frank wiped his mouth with his arm.
"Oh, what a great new upload!" Andy came out of his room with his phone in his hand. Refreshing and checking how many likes he has every 10 seconds on his new article about bone lotion. "Wow, you're finally finished?" Andy asked the fire bro, who was thinking about cleaning things up.
Frank opened his mouth.
BOOM!
"I smell food!" Frank shouted as the stench came.
Andy pinched his nose to avoid passing out from the smell. "I sense that Jenny's cooking again next door!"
After Frank busted the door down, forgetting to use the doorknob, Andy sighed before putting the emergency gas mask on from the box hanging from the wall that says 'Jenny's cooking again'.
Jenny mixed the blue potion with the green liquid. "This time, I shall be able to make coffee!" She exclaimed, not knowing that neither of the liquids looked brown like coffee.
"Jenny, your cooking is so good!" Frank shouted as he came through. "Can I have some?"
"Sure, go ahead!" Jenny laughed, surprised that someone praised her cooking as she handed him a suspicious dark purple slime blob. "This is jelly made out of mangoes, try some!"
Frank dug in as he gave thumbs up to her, signaling it tastes good.
"Oh, I can finally cook!" Jenny clasped her hands together dreamily, losing her smart image. What she forgot was that she never asked Frank to try any, and that Frank thinks anything edible is nice. When in reality, what she made will poison a cobra to death. But thanks to the steel stomach Frank has, he successfully finished the food without dying or getting food poisoned.
Frank once again started praising Jenny, "You never cook, but you're really good!"
"Thank you, I have found my confidence." Jenny gave a bow of appreciation. "I shall now tell you the sad tale of my cooking…" She raised the tension as Frank grabbed a cup of coke, some popcorn, and some tissues for crying out of nowhere and sat down in a couch in the living room. Jenny proceeded to the living room as well as she already started tearing up at the achievement of someone not getting poisoned from her cooking and that she is finally going to tell the story of her cooking.
Jenny's Story:
When I was 16, my little sister, Joanna, wanted me to cook for her. I was never a good cook, so that's why I hesitated. At that time, Joanna was only 14, and was the smartest noki I've ever seen in my life, I wasn't as smart back then. Because I heard that fish can let people get smarter, I chopped down a neighboring blooper and used him as a squid stir fry ingredient. However, my life changed when she excitedly took a bite out of the food…
"I am a bird, I can fly!" Joanna, the green noki that looks identical to Jenny but younger sang as she danced around the room with disco music and a disco ball coming into the room from nowhere.
My family took her to the hospital, and learnt that my cooking caused her to have permanent brain damage. They didn't blame me for it, but instead, wished me to cheer them up with my delightful cooking…
Jenny's entire family sang crazily as she shrieked at the sight.
That is when I got smarter by at least 77.89 percent, and everyone we knew called me the food witch that steals my family's high intelligence to build up my own. Of course, most people in the town didn't believe the story, and the mayor wished me to use my 'magical' cooking to boost everyone's intelligence. Despite having second thoughts after seeing the kitchen after I used it, everyone took a bite from my food…
Everyone in Jenny's hometown started dancing and had a parade while throwing fireballs around, causing all of the houses nearby to burst into flames.
I wanted to blend in with them, so I constantly cooked myself food whenever I had the chance to, but my intelligence always grow about 8.9 percent every single time I do so. Not wanting to be there anymore, I took my crazy family out of the town and arrived here in this city. Afterwards, everyone in my family got better upon me paying brain surgery for them, at that time, surgeries was cheap, so nothing really happened. Joanna is still as smart, same with my family, I just got smarter. When I went to my new office inside the bank I currently work in, everyone wanted to throw a party for me and asked me to cook for them, not knowing how scary my cooking is. Also, when I went to the science lab that I work in sometimes with the research and the experiments and all that, they wanted me to cook for them as well. But seeing you being able to eat my cooking without getting brain damage. Tomorrow, I'll cook for my workmates in both departments!
Jenny opened her eyes in joy as she finished, facing Frank who was choking in his laughter at the story. "What's wrong?" She inquired.
"Nothing," Frank said with a grin, struggling not to laugh. "Oh well, I'm sure they'll love your cooking!"
Jenny smiled, "But first, I'll whip something up for my dear roommates Steven and Flona. Since tomorrow I'm off work, I'll let them try my cooking!"
"May I take the leftovers?" Frank asked as he pointed towards the kitchen table where the rest of Jenny's poisonous meal is laying. Jenny nodded happily before Frank went back to his suite. Then the noki decided to go out to shop for some ingredients and get a repair worker to fix everything she broke during her cooking session, the walls on either side of the stove included.
As soon as Jenny went out of the apartment suite, Flona and Steven entered, somehow both sides missing each other.
"Just as I thought, Jen's been cooking again." Flona looked at the demolished kitchen in front of her.
Steven raised a hand. "But like, where is the food though? She could be just like, playing with the fire when everything went wrong."
"… You did that once." Flona deadpanned, searching for the food herself.
Steven looked confused, "Like, I did?"
"Yes, you've done many things before that are stupid. This leads me wanting to ask you… what's inside your head?" Flona questioned.
Steven thought for a moment, "Like, air?"
Flona fell to the floor before picking herself back up again. "Alright, let's see what Jen whipped up this time." She went to the fridge. "Wait a minute, I need a gas mask." She took two gas masks out of the box that also says 'Jenny's cooking again', which Jenny never saw, despite it being wide out in the open.
"How did you, like, know that there's her cooking inside the fridge?" Steven accused before Flona slamming the mask onto his face.
Flona sighed as she put her own mask on. "Well, as you could see, there is a suspicious purple fog brewing up. That is bound to be her cooking! Poor fridge, I have to buy a new one and get replacement food."
"Does that mean, like, the facial I put in there will be destroyed as well?" Steven freaked out.
Flona raised an eyebrow. "I'm not even going to question that."
"You just did indirectly." Steven stated as he suddenly grew a brain, also forgetting the word 'like'.
Flona grunted, "Fine then! What does it look like? Because this morning, I found something inside the fridge that tastes sweet, and loved it."
"Oh, then you must've, like, found my hidden facial pot." Steven returned to his normal self as his brain disappeared.
Flona raised an eyebrow again. "I thought that the pot that was containing it was a normal frying pot for cooking. And it's wide out in the open inside the fridge."
"Then you must've, like, stumbled on the facial then!" Steven chuckled.
Flona looked very confused, "That's too much for one time use inside the pot."
"Duh, it's like, used for afternoon tea. Whenever I'm like, a bit hungry, I always get some facial out of the pot. It's like, good for you, since the egg white is good for removing dead skin, the dark chocolate is good for bringing up energy, and everything else is like, very good." Steven explained.
Flona looked defeated. "I swear that I think we should actually swap roles. Since I should be the one explaining the facial and you should be the one that don't get a single word like me right now. I've just been beaten by you, out of everyone in knowledge! How did you know this stuff?"
"There was once that Vivian was like, using this, so that's why I'm using it too. Besides, she said it, like, tasted good, and sure it did!" Steven told her.
Flona sighed once again. "I guess we should put a full stop in this strange conversation. But still, it's weird."
"Should we be, like, getting to the fridge now?" Steven suggested as Flona nodded in agreement.
Flona took a deep breath. "Prepare for the bad smell… voila!" She exclaimed as she swung the door open.
Inside the fridge was a purple colored roasted chicken.
"Wow, how did purple like, got in there though?" Steven asked as Flona tipped it inside the garbage bin.
Flona tied a knot onto it, before using another garbage bag to provide another layer for the bag containing the chicken. "I have not a clue." She admitted as she repeated the process 500 times before realizing that the chicken's poison was actually slowly melting the bags. "Hmm… I wonder how poison got in there."
"Maybe she's like, so bad at cooking." Steven guessed as he didn't pay a bit of attention to the topic.
Flona threw the garbage bag outside the window of their apartment. The bag crashed through a nearby bomb-omb family's house 2 stories below as screams came out before pitiful choking was heard. "With that taken care of, let's vacuum the place up!" Flona giggled.
"So it's going to be, like, trying to suck all of the air into our lungs before releasing it outside?" Steven asked dumbly as Flona facepalmed after taking her gas mask off, seeing Flona taking her mask off, Steven followed as they decided to put them back into the box and reveal their faces, now free from the poisonous gas Jenny created.
Suddenly, the lock on the door opened.
"There's like, a thief!" Steven panicked but Flona quickly dragged him into the bathroom, which was the nearest room to them.
Jenny came through the door happily. "Now, the repairman said that I should do it all by myself alone, which I totally agree, and Flona and Steven is going to enjoy the dinner I make tonight!"
"I thought that it was tomorrow?" Frank asked as he came in.
Jenny shook her head. "Nope, moved it to tonight because I can't wait!"
Inside the bathroom, Flona was trying to find a way out of the situation of Jenny cooking dinner for them as Steven ran around in circles panicking, knocking down knocking down various bottles of stuff in the process.
"Have you eaten Jen's cooking before?" Flona questioned at her friend's stupid behavior.
Steven shook his head, "Hmm, I guess your brain damage is natural then…" Flona concluded.
Outside, Frank offered Jenny his assistance as Jenny started cooking.
"Oh no, if we stay here any longer, then we'll die of poisonous gas! I should've taken out masks in with us or never took it off in the first place!" Flona gasped, "Steven, could you see any way out? The only way out of the bathroom is by the door, and the kitchen is right in front of the bathroom!"
Steven pointed at the window, "We could like, try to barge our way out from there."
"Oh, how dumb could you get?" Flona scolded and opened her mouth.
"Is it just me or are there voices coming through the bathroom door?" Jenny questioned as chills ran up Flona's spine while Steven looked as clueless as ever.
Then Flona was surprised to hear Frank while Steven washed his face out of boredom. "Yeah, could there be a ghost around here?"
"Fine then, run!" Flona dragged Steven as she charged out of the window, forgetting the fact that she could actually open it as the glass shattered, not hurting either of them.
When they were gone, Jenny and Frank came through and were greeted by a gust of wind and glass blew into Frank's face as he shouted bloody murder. Jenny was too busy to inspect the faucet that is still running water as Steven never got the chance to close it. Finally, Jenny concluded that she could save water bills by closing the tap.
The situation was not good in any way for the two that are still running away from Jenny. More like Flona to be precise as Steven is just dead weight, but the light grey boo decided to keep him around for now if Jenny needs a sacrifice to be happy.
"Where are we like, going?" Steven asked as the two walked around the apartment in circles, trying to figure out what to do to escape Jenny's wrath of her food.
Flona rolled her eyes, neither of the two shaken up or damaged from the fall all the way from the fifth floor of the second unit of the chain of apartments they are renting and living in. "I suggest that either we try to stop Frank and Jen cooking, or that we tell Jen that we are going to have dinner outside or at someone else's place."
"But what is Frank like, doing in our apartment suite?" Steven asked as he paid no attention to what Flona said earlier.
Flona looked deep in thought, the complete opposite from the koopa next to her. "Well, I'm thinking that question too. But I think we should come up with a plan, then a backup plan, then a backup plan for the backup plan. Finally, we can seal the deal with a backup plan that is used for the backup plan which is for the backup plan that is for the plan."
"Like, hang on. I don't think I'm like, following what you said." Steven paid attention for once as swirly circles appeared in his eyes.
Flona grunted, "Okay, so the plan is that we say that we will cook. The backup plan will be that we are going to have dinner at McToads, then if that don't work because Jen thinks that we can go any day, let's say that we are going to Fancy Shell for dinner and invite her and Frank with us."
"But wouldn't bringing Frank along be like, too expensive?" Steven asked.
Flona smiled, "Anything to get out of Jen's cooking. Very well, if that don't work, then let's say that the power girls wanted us over for a secret dinner party."
"What if that like, doesn't work?" Steven asked.
Flona was truly out of ideas. "Either we think up one on the spot… or we admit that we don't want to eat her cooking."
"That's like, cool with me." Steven decided.
Steven and Flona stepped back into the suite they are sharing with Jenny, having already went to the power girls' suite and explained the entire situation to them. Despite Lily Rockler laughing at their unfortunate, the girls were happy to help out as they will order a bit more pizza than they wanted to for the night, even if they don't join them for dinner, there are always leftovers for tomorrow or the day after.
"Oh, good thing that we borrowed gas masks as well." Flona smiled as they approached the kitchen.
Jenny turned around and welcomed her friends back home, by then Frank has already left the suite to go back to his own to have dinner made by Andy, who constantly reminded his roommates to not reveal the fact to the public. "I'm making dinner for you, and I'm about to start frying the stir fry."
"Oh, I'm sorry, but we were planning to cook dinner." Flona apologized as she went over to the kitchen, offering to cook instead.
Jenny shook her head politely. "No, that's alright, I'll cook."
"Oh no, like, the first plan didn't work!" Steven exclaimed.
Jenny raised an eyebrow, "Excuse me?"
"Nothing, Steven and I was planning to go to the nearby McToads for dinner, he just reminded me of that." Flona quickly lied as she nudged the koopa to shut him up.
Jenny looked back at her unfinished cooking. "Well, maybe next time? I'm eager for you to try my cooking."
"Like, this is totally not working!" Steven panicked as Flona smacked him.
"Okay, Jen, don't listen to him, I just remembered that we were going to Fancy Shell instead. Mind joining us?" Flona offered with a fake smile.
Jenny took out a board with some poorly sliced meats that are still connected together on it. "No, it's alright. I assure you that my cooking is the best tonight, better than anything else."
"Jen, how dumb am I!" Flona quickly spoke up before Steven could say anything, "I just remembered… that the power girls wanted us over for dinner!"
"Oh, then please invite them over instead, the more, the merrier." Jenny giggled as she held a ladle up high.
"No, it's like, 'the more people eating, the more dead bodies we will have'." Steven corrected as Jenny looked confused. "Psst, Flona, like, nothing is working, do we have another idea?"
Flona quickly shook her head in panic.
Steven decided to follow Flona's final plan. "Jenny, like, the reason why Flona's reasoning with you to not cook is that… she hates your cooking."
Both Flona and Jenny gasped. Jenny never thought that her best friend would betray her, and Flona realized that Steven threw her under the bus by accident while using the final plan that she told him.
"… What, like, is there anything on my face?" The koopa asked.
This turned out much better than I thought it would! XD Here you go, the first oneshot of the fic! Be prepared for more soon, but I'll be catching up on Bowser Party for now, as I haven't updated it in a looong time, just remember, this is just as funny, so don't turn away!