Unforetold Feelings
By InnocentTenshi17 aka MysticalTenshi17
Serena weeps on her pillow. Tears sliding down her face and onto the pillow. She feels so helpless. People say it's not good to keep things bottled up, but it's hard not to when she feels so unwanted. Even if she was to talk about her feelings, whom could she confide to understand and keep a low profile while helping her get through this? No one. If she was ever to tell someone, they would just think of her as weird. They'll think it's crazy talk and it's not as she said. She's just trying to get attention. But she's not. All she wants is to feel loved. Is that too much to ask? Is having your parents, the ones who created her, to love her unconditionally too much to ask? Besides she is their daughter, aren't they supposed to love her?
* I wish I was never born. That will make everything perfect for them. They discourage my looks, my personality, everything! They don't care about me, they never did. All this time, they never did. I just feel like a low life, the scum of the earth. If that's what they felt about me in the first place, why did they have me. I bet without me they'll have their perfect children, the ones they have pictured having, Reeny and Sammie. I JUST wish I was never born or I was dead. It wouldn't matter to them, either way if I was dead or alive. They wouldn't have notice. All they care about are their babies, their PERFECT children. So what if I don't get good grades. I'm not perfect unlike them. But I do try. * All these thoughts crossed through her mind as she cried hugging the pillow against her, holding it for dear life. * I may not be perfect mom and dad, if you haven't forgotten I'm still human, YOUR daughter and do go through human emotion. Do you even know how it feels to be unwanted, like you were a mistake in the first place, but it's too late to fix it? Do you know how MUCH that hurts? You guys won't ever understand. I'm surprised you haven't gave away my room yet, but I bet Sammie and Reeny are fighting over it. No one in my family loves me. They don't even know what I'm going through; don't care and without even a second thought thrown me out if they had the chance which I doubt would be any later. Why must I go through this pain God! Why! Why! I don't deserve this; I'm a good person and deserve to be loved. * More tears came down her eyes as every thought struck heart like a hammer. *Why can't you accept me for who I am. In your eyes I'm a klutz and stupid. You tend to, like everyone else, think that you know me. Know everything about me and know what's crossing through my mind, but you're wrong. You don't know me at all. All those you think that I am might be true on the outside but not the inside. You don't even know that all this is going through my mind now. You don't know how much it hurts and how I always keep these feelings locked up. And as the time prolong its weight on my heart has grown apparently heavy. You and dad both and the rest of the people in the world, who thinks they know me, always misjudge me. Mom, the only reason I would always think of running away, but have never gone through with it was that I thought you and dad LOVE me. * A memory went through her mind of that faithful event.
::flashback
* No, I can't stand it anymore. I want to leave this world, but how? A seven year old Serena thought. She was running around the house looking for things to bring on her journey to a new life. She's at her parent's room and looked at everything for the last time, imprinting it into her memory. "goodbye" she whispered. She turned around but heard her parents coming, finding no where else to hide, she quickly ran towards the closet. Slid open the sliding doors and ran in and closed the door. It was dark.
" Ken, look around she must be here," her mother panic.
" Irene, calm down. She must be around, she's probably playing and would show up soon," he said in a calm voice, but inside he was as worried as she was.
" Did you check the front porch," she asked, really worried.
"Yes, honey."
"Then where can she be. She can't have gone far"
"Let's look around once more, ok"
"Hurry!"
Inside the closet she heard the whole conversation. * they truly do care* tears of joy slid down her face. Seeing her parents worried about her and actually care made her happy and loved.
::end of flashback::
*But that was along time ago. Time change and people change. They don't love me anymore.* Serena bit her lower lip attempting to stop cry. *That's it ! If they don't want me, FINE! they won't have to deal with me anymore.* She got up from her spot abruptly, grabbed her backpack and stuffed her things in it. All her necessity and her precious belongings. After assembling all her things, she flung the backpack over her shoulder and climbed out of her window. Once upon the ground she ran for her life, wanting to leave everything behind. She didn't know where she was going, but let her feet lead the way.
Her feet led her to Darien's apartment. What am I doing here? Right about when she was about to turn and leave Darien opened his door. "Serena? To what do I owe this pleasure?" he asked half heartedly and half teasingly. But he stops on his tracks when he saw Serena's face. He knew something was wrong. " Serena what's wrong?" he asked full of concern. She turned around and replied, " maybe I should go." She turned and started to walk, but not very far as Darien stopped her in her tracks. His arms stretched out to block her from ever successfully get pass him and out. "Serena I know something is wrong, tell me, I'll do everything I can to help you," he persisted.
By InnocentTenshi17 aka MysticalTenshi17
Serena weeps on her pillow. Tears sliding down her face and onto the pillow. She feels so helpless. People say it's not good to keep things bottled up, but it's hard not to when she feels so unwanted. Even if she was to talk about her feelings, whom could she confide to understand and keep a low profile while helping her get through this? No one. If she was ever to tell someone, they would just think of her as weird. They'll think it's crazy talk and it's not as she said. She's just trying to get attention. But she's not. All she wants is to feel loved. Is that too much to ask? Is having your parents, the ones who created her, to love her unconditionally too much to ask? Besides she is their daughter, aren't they supposed to love her?
* I wish I was never born. That will make everything perfect for them. They discourage my looks, my personality, everything! They don't care about me, they never did. All this time, they never did. I just feel like a low life, the scum of the earth. If that's what they felt about me in the first place, why did they have me. I bet without me they'll have their perfect children, the ones they have pictured having, Reeny and Sammie. I JUST wish I was never born or I was dead. It wouldn't matter to them, either way if I was dead or alive. They wouldn't have notice. All they care about are their babies, their PERFECT children. So what if I don't get good grades. I'm not perfect unlike them. But I do try. * All these thoughts crossed through her mind as she cried hugging the pillow against her, holding it for dear life. * I may not be perfect mom and dad, if you haven't forgotten I'm still human, YOUR daughter and do go through human emotion. Do you even know how it feels to be unwanted, like you were a mistake in the first place, but it's too late to fix it? Do you know how MUCH that hurts? You guys won't ever understand. I'm surprised you haven't gave away my room yet, but I bet Sammie and Reeny are fighting over it. No one in my family loves me. They don't even know what I'm going through; don't care and without even a second thought thrown me out if they had the chance which I doubt would be any later. Why must I go through this pain God! Why! Why! I don't deserve this; I'm a good person and deserve to be loved. * More tears came down her eyes as every thought struck heart like a hammer. *Why can't you accept me for who I am. In your eyes I'm a klutz and stupid. You tend to, like everyone else, think that you know me. Know everything about me and know what's crossing through my mind, but you're wrong. You don't know me at all. All those you think that I am might be true on the outside but not the inside. You don't even know that all this is going through my mind now. You don't know how much it hurts and how I always keep these feelings locked up. And as the time prolong its weight on my heart has grown apparently heavy. You and dad both and the rest of the people in the world, who thinks they know me, always misjudge me. Mom, the only reason I would always think of running away, but have never gone through with it was that I thought you and dad LOVE me. * A memory went through her mind of that faithful event.
::flashback
* No, I can't stand it anymore. I want to leave this world, but how? A seven year old Serena thought. She was running around the house looking for things to bring on her journey to a new life. She's at her parent's room and looked at everything for the last time, imprinting it into her memory. "goodbye" she whispered. She turned around but heard her parents coming, finding no where else to hide, she quickly ran towards the closet. Slid open the sliding doors and ran in and closed the door. It was dark.
" Ken, look around she must be here," her mother panic.
" Irene, calm down. She must be around, she's probably playing and would show up soon," he said in a calm voice, but inside he was as worried as she was.
" Did you check the front porch," she asked, really worried.
"Yes, honey."
"Then where can she be. She can't have gone far"
"Let's look around once more, ok"
"Hurry!"
Inside the closet she heard the whole conversation. * they truly do care* tears of joy slid down her face. Seeing her parents worried about her and actually care made her happy and loved.
::end of flashback::
*But that was along time ago. Time change and people change. They don't love me anymore.* Serena bit her lower lip attempting to stop cry. *That's it ! If they don't want me, FINE! they won't have to deal with me anymore.* She got up from her spot abruptly, grabbed her backpack and stuffed her things in it. All her necessity and her precious belongings. After assembling all her things, she flung the backpack over her shoulder and climbed out of her window. Once upon the ground she ran for her life, wanting to leave everything behind. She didn't know where she was going, but let her feet lead the way.
Her feet led her to Darien's apartment. What am I doing here? Right about when she was about to turn and leave Darien opened his door. "Serena? To what do I owe this pleasure?" he asked half heartedly and half teasingly. But he stops on his tracks when he saw Serena's face. He knew something was wrong. " Serena what's wrong?" he asked full of concern. She turned around and replied, " maybe I should go." She turned and started to walk, but not very far as Darien stopped her in her tracks. His arms stretched out to block her from ever successfully get pass him and out. "Serena I know something is wrong, tell me, I'll do everything I can to help you," he persisted.