This was just a little story that I hammered out because I
was bored and didn't feel like using big words, so forgive me if it's stupid.
Please, please, please review. It means so very much to me, be it friend or foe. I still haven't met the Satan's quota yet,
so help me and Hugh Jackman Jr. out.
DISCLAIMER: I live in Kansas. What would you take from me, a cow? I do not own the X-Men, but everything else in the story I do
own, and the story is mine. Mwa ha ha.
Not for a
Million Dollars
My mommy took me to my new
house today. I get my own room and
everything, and I couldn't believe it because, like I told her, I'd never had
my own room before in my entire life, and she said "I know, Lynn!" Right now it's blue, but mommy says that
once we get "settled" we can paint it and I can choose what color. I think I might want pink or yellow, I'm
having a hard time deciding, because it's a very big decision, and I'm not
supposed to rush into things anymore because I'm a big girl. I turned seven last winter, so I'm
practically as old as mommy! I told my
mommy that while we were in the great big truck with all of our furniture and
our cat, Gilbert, and she just laughed and kissed me on my cheek.
Then she said "I wish that
was true." Me, too, I said. Then I could marry you, and we could be
together forever! She didn't like that
I said that, I don't think, because she got stopped talking and we were quite
for a while. I think she was thinking
of my daddy, and how he went away.
Wanna know a secret? I saw him go away! My mommy didn't think I did, but I did and I'm proud that I kept
it a secret, because it proves that I'm a big girl. It was really late at night, I mean, REALLY late. It was so past my bedtime, but I was still
up, looking at my Beauty and the Beast picture book (it's my favorite) and then
I heard funny noises from downstairs, so I opened my door reeeaal slow and
stuck my head around the corner so I could see down the stairs and into the
living room.
My daddy was there, and he
was wrestling with the babysitter, Jeanette.
I love Jeanette. One time, she
let me talk on the phone with her boyfriend, Steve, and he said that I sounded
pretty! Also, when she comes over, she
brings my nailpolishes that she doesn't want anymore and I get to keep
them! I love her, she's so nice. And sometimes we play this game where she
tickles me, and I was really happy for my daddy. Because he was getting to play
it too, and it's a really, really fun game.
You should try it some time. So
anyway, they were wrestling and playing the game, and I almost laughed because
my daddy didn't know how to play, he kept getting stuck on top of her, and
Jeanette didn't even cry out "Uncle" like I always do when I get dog piled
on. My daddy's so silly. I'll teach him the rules of the game
someday.
So, they were still
playing, and then my mommy came home from work. She helps sick people get better. I drew a picture of her in her nurse outfit and it's on the
fridge. My mommy walked in, and she got
this really funny look on her face and started yelling at my daddy. I guess mommy was mad because they wouldn't
let her play. Daddy jumped up REALLY
high in the air, and soon he started yelling too. I remember it pretty
good. "Pauline, you made me do this!"
he said one time, and I thought, how did she?
She was at work that day because she had to pull a late shift because
she didn't want to third mortgage our house again. And then, my mommy's face got even funnier looking and she yelled
the d word at him! I thought that was
bad, but then my daddy said a word that I'd only heard my best friend Tonia's
older brother say one time. And I
thought that fart was the f word! I
didn't know what a lot of the words meant, but I knew they were bad, and they
made me feel bad, and then I guess it made Jeanette feel bad, too, because she
got up and left and didn't even get paid or nothing. I guess she's rich and doesn't need money. After all, she gives away her nail polish
for free.
After Jeanette left, my
daddy got up and put his shoes on and walked out of the door. I ran back to my room and I got to watch the
lights on the back of the car disappear down our street, past the Wilkerson's
house and even past Lilly's house, which is way at the end of our block. I was pretty sleepy, so I decided to go to
bed. The next day, when I woke up, my
mommy told me that we were going to get to move! I was really happy, because I've never gotten to move before.
And now we're here, in our
new house, where I get my own room that I don't have to share with my cousin,
Hannah. Hannah doesn't even have to
live with us anymore, and I'm glad, because I never really liked her that much
and sometimes she'd wet the bed, and we only had one bed at my old house. Now she's living with gramma, because my Auntie
Suzanne said that there was no point for her to live in a lowcome one parent
family when gramma could "provide" better for her. I told Hannah that we were not lowcome, but she kept saying that
we were, and that gramma was highcome.
Gramma has this really big house, so I guess you're highcome of you have
a neat house with a pool in your backyard, so I told her, "I went to your house
once, Hannah, and you're even more lowcome than we are." That shut her up.
But now I'm glad that
she's gone and that I have a cool new room.
Our new house is in New York, and it's by this big field and
everything. We have a living room, a
kitchen, a basement, my mommy's room, my room, a place to eat snacks, and a
bathroom. Mommy says that I can put
stickers up all over the mirror in the bathroom to make it look more "homey" I
think is what she said.
My mommy also gets to have
a new job since we moved. She works as
a maid now at this reeaaaal fancy house where like a million people live. It's owned by this really nice guy named Mr.
Charles, and he's even more balder than my daddy is! And he has this cool chair with wheels on it, I guess because he
gets tired of walking all the time. I asked
my mommy if I could have a chair like that for my next birthday, and she said
that those chairs are only for people with special needs. I guess that means that I need to get a
special need first. I told my mommy
that, and she said I was too little to understand, and she said that his legs
didn't work anymore because he was in an accident, so I figure that the maybe
if I have an accident like the one's Hannah used to have in bed, just maybe my
legs will stop working and I can get one of those cool chairs for my
birthday. I want to paint my chair
pink, when I get one.
I think my mommy likes
being a maid. She said "it's a nice
break from my regular job". I asked her
if she would miss getting to help people feel better, and she said yes, but
maybe in a few months she might start working as a nurse at the doctor's office
that Mr. Charles has in his big house.
I asked her why she didn't want to be a nurse now, and she said that
"the opportunity hadn't arisen yet".
Well, as long as my mommy is happy cleaning all of Mr. Charles's stuff,
I'm happy. Now mommy is yelling at me
to help her unpack!
It's been a long time
since we moved in. My room is half
yellow and half pink. My mommy said the
colors didn't match, and I said that my eyes didn't match either, because one
is blue and one is kind of green. That
made my mommy be real quite, and she finally asked if I'd prefer to have a
normal room like other little girls. I
told her that I liked it the way it was, and didn't want to change it for a
million dollars. My mommy said even if
everyone else you knew had all green rooms and made fun of you because your
room was different? I said, it's just a
room and it's stupid that they would get mad at me for that, so they were
buttheads anyway. Then she hugged me
and asked if I wanted to help her make some cookies.
That was yesterday, and
right now I'm eating one of those cookies and waiting for my mommy to come home
from work. It's almost time for supper,
but since mommy's not home, I decided to spoil my appetite, as she would say. It's kind of boring here. We haven't got enough money to buy the good
channels on TV yet, and our VCR broke, so the only thing I can watch on TV is
boring news, and I don't like to watch it because it's boring. It's always about mugents and the FoH men. I asked mommy what FoH meant, and she said
it meant "Full of Hugs," so I don't understand why the mugents don't like them,
if all they want to do is hug them. I
guess maybe they hug to hard, like how Daddy hugged Jeanette that one time. I guess I wouldn't like them either, if they
hugged me too hard, because I don't like when that happens, so I guess that
makes me a mugents, because the boring newsman who's hair keeps falling off
says that they don't like each other.
I wish my mommy would get
home. It's way past supper time, and
I'm not allowed to play with the stove anymore until Gilbert grows some of his
fur back. I really want my Spaghettios,
because my stomach keeps going growl growl, and we don't have anymore cookies
because I ate them all and I gave three to Gilbert, because I think he's still
mad at me. It was an accident,
though.
A car just pulled in the
driveway. I'm not supposed to check and
see who it is, because if it's a stranger or someone who hugs too hard, I'm
supposed to pretend I'm not home.
That's what my mommy told me to do.
I can see out the window,
though, because I'm hiding behind the couch.
It's a really tall lady, a lot taller than my daddy, with brown skin and
white hair. I bet she'd like my
room. And there's another lady with
bright red hair and another man with red hair and…A PINK shirt! Cool!
I thought I was the only person who liked to wear pink shirts! Mommy says that only me and my Uncle Jack and
his friend Luca are the only people she knows who like pink and wear it all the
time. I'll tell her about this guy with
the pink shirt when she gets home. I
bet she'll laugh.
The doorbell just
rang. I didn't answer it, because even
though they like the color pink, I'm not allowed to answer the door. The lady with the white hair rang it again
and said something to the lady with bright red hair. She knocked on the door with her hand, and it made this bump bump
noise that kind of scared me. It scared
Gilbert, because he jumped up form the rocking chair and his fur got really
tall. The man in the pink shirt pulled
out a tic tac and ate one.
Mmm, it looks yummy. That reminded me of how hungry I was. It was really late. It was getting dark out, and it was summer,
too, so I knew it had to be late.
"Who's there?" I
yelled.
They looked at the window
and saw me hiding behind the couch. I
waved at the man in the pink shirt. He
smiled at me and waved back, so I smiled too.
The lady with the white hair asked if I would open the door, and I told
her that I couldn't because she was a stranger who might want to hug me, and I
wasn't supposed to. She looked at me
kind of funny and said something to the lady with red hair. Then the red-haired lady said that they
weren't strangers, that they were from Mr. Charles's big house and they worked
with my mother. So I asked them if they
were all maids, too, but they said that they weren't. She asked if I would open the door again, but I said I
wouldn't.
The man in the pink shirt
said something I didn't understand (I hope it wasn't a dirty word!) and then
asked if I'd open the door, pretty please.
I said no. He said with sugar
and a cherry on top. That made me
hungry, so I asked him if I could have a tic tac. He smiled and said that I could, but I needed to open the door so
he could give it to me. I knew my mommy
would understand if I opened the door, because I was really hungry and a tic
tac would really hit the spot, like my daddy used to say. Only he'd be talking about beer.
So I opened the door, and
he handed me a tic tac, and I popped it in my mouth. He had funny eyes, just like mine, except they were red and
black, like mine, except mine aren't. I
told him that, and he laughed at me, even though I didn't think I had said
anything funny. Then they all came
inside, because I decided that they weren't going to try and hug me too hard,
and I let them sit down on the couch. I
wanted to sit by the man who gave me the tic tac, but he was sitting next to
the white-haired woman, so I sat in between them, kind of on their legs because
I couldn't help it, because we were really crammed onto our couch (it's not
very big. Uncle Jack and Luca have a
bigger one, and it has all the cool designs on it AND it's pink. Luca said that he made it himself, but I
don't believe him).
The white-haired lady's
hair was really cool. It felt like how
Gilbert's used to, except it was nicer and I bet she never had to have flea
spray put on it twice a month. I wish m
hair was like that, but mine's always brown and tangly. She even let me play with it for a while,
while they asked me questions and got to know me.
I told them that my name
was Lynn, and they told my that their names were Jean, Ororo, and Remy. Remy's a really funny name, and so is
Ororo. I told her it made me think "Ororo
row your boat, gently up the stream," and everybody laughed at that. I learned that song at my old school, and I
even know a dance to it. I asked if
they wanted to see, but they said maybe later, because they had something important
to talk about. I said OK, because I was
pretty comfy where I was. Ororo smelled
really good, and Mr. Remy kind of reminded me of my daddy.
Jean's face got kind of
funny looking as she started telling me something that she said was very
important. She said that my mommy had
gotten into an accident at Mr. Charles's house. She looked really sad, and I didn't know why. I wish I had gotten into an accident. I told her that, and she looked really
worried and asked me why, so I sad that my mommy told my that Mr. Charles's
gets to have his cool chair because he had an accident, so I had been trying to
have an accident every night for the longest time, but it never worked because
I always woke up and forgot and went to the bathroom.
Everybody looked really
sad when I told them that, so I guess my mommy didn't get the kind of chair she
wanted. I asked them what kind of chair
she got, and they said that she didn't get a chair. So why did she want to have an accident, I asked. Ororo said that my mommy didn't want to have
an accident, that it didn't happen on purpose, that that some FoH men came to
Mr. Charles's house and started messing up his stuff, and she tried to stop
them by making them forget why the came to the school, but the ended up hurting
her.
"You mean they hugged her
too hard?"
They all looked at each
other, and I decided that they weren't very smart people, even though they were
nice, so I explained to them that the Full of Hugs men go around hugging people
too tight, and that's why people don't like them very much, but as long as you
said "Uncle", you'd be fine. Mr. Remy's
red eyes looked really sad and he told me that my mommy forgot to say
"uncle".
I said that my mommy knew
better than that, because I had taught her how to wrestle after I found out
that she was mad because she didn't know how to play with my daddy and
Jeanette, but then I remembered how sometimes mommy wouldn't say uncle. In fact, she never ever had to say uncle,
because she always beat me.
"So, where is my mommy
now?"
Jean got an even sadder
look on her face and her eyes got all full of water and she told me that she
was dead and lying in the doctor's office at Mr. Charles's house. That's when I started to cry. I don't cry a lot, because Tonia's big
brother used to make fun of me all the time for it, but I couldn't help
it. I kept crying and crying, and my
face got all wet. Ororo and Mr. Remy
both hugged me and tried to make me feel better, but I wouldn't feel better,
because they weren't my mommy and I wanted my mommy to hug me, not them. I tried to tell them that, but whenever I tried
to talk, these funny noises kept escaping from my mouth, and they frightened
Gilbert even more, so I stopped opening my mouth.
After a while, Jean got up
and asked my if I wanted anything to eat, since I had been so hungry. I wasn't hungry anymore, so I told her so,
because the funny noises had finally stopped coming out of my mouth. Mr. Remy asked if I wanted another tic tac,
and I said yes, so he gave me another one and I ate it. It wasn't as good as the first one. After a longer time, we had just been
sitting on the couch the entire time, except for Jean, who seemed to be walking
all around the house picking up things, it was all dark outside and they asked
me if I wanted to go stay at Mr. Charles's house for the night, until they
could call me daddy to come and get me.
I said OK, but I told them that I didn't want my daddy to come and get
me, because I remembered that night he left and how he had been hugging
Jeanette really hard, so I told them that my daddy hugs too hard and I didn't
want to be near him, in case he ended up hugging me and I forgot to say
uncle.
They said that they
understood, so we drove away in the car to Mr. Charles's house. They let me take Gilbert with me, so that
made me feel a little better. And Jean
had even packed my hello kitty bag for me, that was why she kept walking around
looking for stuff. I had kinda thought
that maybe she was a robber or something.
On the car ride there, I
got to sit next to Mr. Remy in the back, and he told me these really funny
stories about when he was a kid in this country called Nawlens. They were really funny, especially this one
about how he tried to get his cat, Pierre, out of a tree, but when he got up to
the branch, the ladder fell down and Pierre jumped out, so he had to spend the
night up there, but I didn't really feel like laughing. I told him that and he said that that was
OK. I was glad that he said that it was
OK, because I felt really weird, like I didn't want to do anything but sit
still and be quite, kind of like playing the quite game.
When we got to Mr.
Charles's house, there were a whole bunch of people there, and a lot of them
looked really funny. This one guy had
all this blue fur all over him, and so did another guy, even though he wasn't
as big as the first guy. I figured that
they were good friends, like Uncle Jack and Luca, because sometimes they dress
alike for fun, too. All the people
there were really nice to me but they all looked kind of sad, so it made me
feel kind of sad, too.
Then Mr.Charles's himself
came out, and talked with me for a while.
He said that he was very sorry that my mommy had such an "untimely
death". I didn't know what untimely
meant, but I didn't want to ask. I
didn't really want to know. I didn't
know what to say, so I asked if she had been a good maid. He said, yes, she had been a good maid, but
he really wanted her to be a nurse for everybody at his house, so I told him
that she didn't want to be a nurse yet, and he said he understood, even though
she had really good powers at it. I
didn't understand that, so I asked him.
He looked me in my eyes
and then told me that my mommy had been a mugents, and he had wanted her to be
on his team, but she just wanted a low key job, so she chose to be a maid. That made sense to me, because my mommy had
never been good at sports, especially not team sports, and I had no idea what
kind of game Mr. Charles's could play, since his legs didn't work. And, since he said my mommy was a mugents,
it kind of made more sense why she had been so mad when she saw my daddy
hugging Jeanette, because he was a full of hugs man.
I told Mr. Charles's that,
and he kind of smiled. It made me feel
a whole lot better, because more things were making sense.
Then I asked Mr. Charles's
if I could ride in his chair, because I thought that it was so cool and I
really, really wanted one.
This one man started
laughing, and a lady with a white strip in her hair hit him and said "Shut up,
Bobby." I told her that it wasn't
polite to say "shut up" to people and that she should apologize. That made Mr. Bobby laugh even more.
Mr. Charles's said maybe
later I could have a ride, and I said OK, but then Mr. Bobby said for him to
let me do it, and Mr. Remy said so too.
So Mr. Charles's let me sit in his lap, and we rode the entire way down
the hall!! It was soo much fun, and it
made me laugh and smile. After my ride
was over, Mr. Charles's asked if I'd like to live with him at his big house,
since my daddy hugs people too hard. I
thought about it for a while.
I asked if Gilbert could
live here, too. He said that Gilbert
could.
I asked if my Uncle Jack
and Luca could visit sometimes, because I really like them (it's just Hannah
that I don't like. I heard my gramma
say that her entire family hugs too hard).
Mr. Charles's said that would be fine.
I asked him if I could paint my room half pink and half
yellow, and he asked me why, so I told him that that was just the way I am, and
I couldn't change it. He said, Sure, OK!
So pretty soon, I got to have all my stuff
brought over, and in a few days I was all unpacked and Uncle Remy and Aunt
Ororo and me were all painting my room.
It was really fun, because Uncle Remy kept flicking Aunt Ororo with
paint when she wasn't looking, and when I finally told on him, he started
flicking ME!! It was a good thing we
were wearing work clothes, or else my mommy would have gotten mad.
No, I have to remember that my mommy isn't
here anymore. We had her funeral a few
days ago, and I cried a whole lot. A
lot more than I did when Aunt Jean told me of her untimely death. I like how that sounds, so I use that phrase
when I think of her. I loved my mommy
so much, and I'm sad that she's gone, and I'm sad that my daddy never comes to
see me, but I like living with Uncle Charles, because it's like I have all
these new mommies and daddies. I even
have a new sister named Jubilee. She's
really nice, and I already love her way more then that bogus Jeanette (Jubilee
taught me the word "bogus". Isn't it
rad?)
Everyday I miss my mommy,
but I think she'd like to know that I'm happy, and that I get to ride in Uncle
Charles's chair sometimes, and that I never hug people too hard, even when I'm
really mad at them, and that my room is half yellow and half pink, and I
wouldn't change it for a million dollars.