Hey There :)
Still with me? Yes, I'm sorry, it was a very long wait for anything from my side, but... school? Being a freaking b*tch? Does that count?
So this is what happens when I can't sleep and get mad at Kurt for being what school is for me in the moment and building up the tension between him and Blaine in Season 5. But no Spoilerwarning for this one, it's just an emotional response I had to write. It's more like a Spoiler for 4x04, but... I just assume everybody knows what happened back then. -.-
Also - SupermegafoxyawesomehotDC? Where are you, my girl? I miss you :(
This is for my bestest Friend ever (:D) Friedi although she doesn't know anything about it xD (Love you?)
... Enjoy :)
Love and Kisses,
Josy
"I was with someone."
No. Please not again, not this again, Kurt, please not, you couldn't, you aren't ... that way. You're not like me.
"W-what?" Blaine can only stare at Kurt and try not to lose his mind in an attempt at thinking this through further. Kurt blinks fast, to get away his slowly building tears.
"I s-said that I was with someone."
So I heard right. It wasn't an imagination. It's true. I think I'm gonna throw up.
"I think I'm gonna throw up." Kurt looks alarmed but I shake my head no.
"N-not yet, I don't know, maybe later. But just - Who, Kurt?"
Who is better than me? Who loves you more than I do? Who gets to have you besides me? Who is the one of your choice?
"It doesn't matter."
"It does for me."
The brunette gulps.
"Remember Adam?"
Holy hell.
"Remem - God, Kurt!"
A single tear slips down his cheek as he stands up.
"Sorry, I - I'm gonna go and let you hate me, okay?"
"W-wait. Please wait." Blaine pulls his (ex?)boyfriend back onto the couch. His cyan-blue eyes, filled with tears at this point, are looking at him irritated.
"What?"
"Kurt, just... Don't you think I deserve an explanation?"
"Of course, you - I mean, yes, I do, I just ... Okay, I'll explain."
He takes a deep breath.
"I'm so, so, so sorry. You can't even imagine."
I think I can.
"I didn't plan on doing this to you."
Me neither.
"I didn't think right, I was just... lonely."
Me too.
"You were having a blast at Nyada with Rachel and every other person already fallen in love with your smile and I felt so lonely."
"I understand, Kurt, I really do. But I have to ask you something." He looks at him expectant.
Here it goes.
"Are you... In love with him?"
Please don't be, please don't, please don't, please -
Kurt's eyes widen in his pale face.
"NO! No, of course not, I don't even - I love you, okay? So much..."
Perfect answer.
Blaine nods.
"Okay, um... then..."
"I understand if you want to break up with me."
"Kurt."
"No, I really understand. I do, I'm a horrible person and a hypocrite and a cheater and you - "
Blaine raises his hand and gently puts his index finger over Kurt's lips, successfully silencing him.
"And I'm not like you. And I don't mean that either in a bad way, or a good. Just listen to me, okay?"
Kurt nods and subconsciously presses a little kiss to Blaine's finger. The curly-haired boy takes a deep breath in.
"Kurt. I love you. And I'm not like you. You broke up with me for cheating on you and it was right. It was right and I felt so damn guilty for breaking your heart this way, I couldn't breathe. And I know you do too." Kurt nods.
"I do, I do so much, Blaine, I -"
"Just let me finish, okay?"
Or I won't ever say it.
Blaine sighs.
"I know how you feel and I know how I should react. But I won't. 'Cause I love you. I love you so damn much, I physically need you as well as emotionally."
Understatement of the century.
"And I won't break up with you." He can practically see the relief flood through Kurt as his eyes light up.
"But that's not everything. I'll still be heartbroken, soulcrushed and miserable. I'll still cry and lock myself up in the bathroom to hide away from the memories in our apartment, while trying to figure out why you didn't like me anymore. I'll still try to erase every trace that guy left on you. I'll feel sad and betrayed and left behind and cheated on."
Kurt visibly shrinks back, his eyes hurt and guilty and so damn sad.
"But I'm not going to break up with you, because I know, without you It'd be so much worse. So don't think I'm not mad or anything, because I am."
But I love you.
"But I won't kill you for it."
Like you did.
Kurt closes his eyes for a moment. Then he exhales in relief.
"Thank you, love. I'm so, so grateful for you and your great heart, I don't know how I deserve you. I must have been a saint in my life before this one. And I love you."
He takes Blaine's hand and pulls it against his chest in a familiar gesture.
I wanted to be your gaybar-superstar, but... I'm just a silly romantic.
It's not silly.
It really isn't.
When Kurt raises his eyes and blue meets gold they are filled with souldeep gratitude.
"I'm never going to stop making this up to you."
Like it? Hate it? Had a similar reaction to Kurt being a bi*tch in 5x14?
Review! ... *Desperate* -.-
Also - Anyone wanting to discuss the new episodes - I'm here :)
Hugs,
Josy