story: good friend

by: lauren (aka xo bella italiana ox)

rating: pg, mild language

summary: sometimes it's best to let something go.

disclaimer: i own nothing

pov: lizzie

when: during high school years

form: a three-part story of the progression of the relationship between lizzie and gordo.

inspiration: "good friend", by nine days

reviews: much appreciated, praise or flame, constructive criticism welcome.

                I don't know exactly when it started.

                Gordo had been acting…I don't know, different. He still cracked the same jokes, wore the same clothes…but he didn't smile the same. He didn't laugh the same.

                He didn't look at me the same.

                Miranda laughed and told me I was crazy. "What are you talking about? He's still the same Gordo. You guys are the same. And to anyone with two eyes, your relationship looks perfect."

                She was right, I suppose, in a way. It sure looked that way.

                But I guess things aren't always what they seem.

***

I guess to explain it all I'd have to go all the way back to the last day of school in freshman year of high school. With all the recent changes, the year had been a difficult one for me. I hadn't been prepared for Miranda to join drama club, and make new friends, or for the parties kids had to go from murder mystery parties to drinking parties, or for me to catch my boyfriend Jeremy cheating on me with some girl from the high school in the next town over. I hadn't been prepared for Kate's suicide. All of it slapped me so unexpectedly in the face, knocking me out. Yeah, that year had me emotionally drained.

And yet when I think about it, when I dig through all the memories, I somehow find one that always makes me smile. Actually, there's quite a few, but when I picture them in my mind, they're all kind of merged into one long memory of curly hair and deep blue eyes.

When he got me to start talking to Miranda again. When he spent endless Friday nights hanging out with me at the mall instead of going to the parties that I didn't want to go to. When he cancelled a date with this gorgeous 10th grader just to stay at my house and eat ice cream while I cried and ripped up pictures of Jeremy. When he gave up the opportunity to be transferred into this amazing film school just so I wouldn't be left alone. When he spent endless hours at my house, while I cried and screamed at nobody in particular about why I couldn't have been a better person to Kate. When he finally got me to laugh again, embarassing himself in front of everyone at the mall, just to see if it would make me smile.

And I remember when I first really wanted to kiss him.

Somewhere along the line, I think we both knew that something had changed in our relationship. It was a quiet change, something neither of us had to talk about, something nobody had to mention to make it real. A gaze, a smile…they said it all. Nobody ever said anything, but they knew, those sly looks they shot at us. I figured I better give it some time, let it pass. Falling in love with your best friend only works in movies. And books. And sometimes those relationships don't even work out. And so I tried to push what I was feeling to the back of my mind, and I went on with life.

And then it was the last day of school. I'd been really anticipating the day, just wanting a break, a time where things wouldn't be so heavy and where I could just forget about life for a while.

I think Gordo read my mind. He suggested we go to the lake at night to go swimming, just like we'd done many summer nights when we were still in seventh grade. We swam, we told secrets, we laughed. Just me, him, and Miranda. Best friends forever. Life was so simple back then. I wanted to remember it. I wanted to remember what innocence felt like.

Miranda declined the invite. "Robbie Taylor invited me to Becky's party tonight!" Becky Ross, a sophomore, was known for her wild parties. She saw the crestfallen look on my face, and promised me that we would spend time together in the summer. Then, reluctantly, she added, "And I promise I won't drink tonight. You know that was a one-time thing."

I nodded, desperately forcing a smile on my face. "Well, have fun." I felt my stomach tightening as I hugged her and told her if Robbie didn't finally notice her, I'd kick his ass.

I wasn't happy, but I understood. Miranda had been after Robbie for a few months now. I would never want to keep her from getting what she wanted. We weren't as close as we'd been last year, but we were still best friends. It wouldn't change. With a friendship like ours…well, time or change, nothing could kill it.

***

                "Most embarassing moment?"

                "Do you have to keep bringing it up? When my hair caught on fire in the chem lab."

                I burst out laughing. Gordo shot me a warning look, but it quickly cracked into a smile. "Uh…my turn. Worst fight?"
                "With Miranda. It was like…war."

                "Yeah, tell me about. Only a lot more high-pitched screaming."

                "Hey!" I laughed, digging my elbow into his side. "At least we're friends again."

                It's so pretty there at night, I mused, staring at the dark night sky, accentuated with a sprinkling of white stars, and the lake glowing with the reflection of the moon. And for once, everything seems so perfect. Gordo and I were sitting on the side of the lake, shoes off, with our feet dipped in the water, playing Shotgun, a game Miranda had made up back in fifth grade, on a boring summer day. It was a nice way to recount the memories of the year.

                "Okay. Me," I declared. "Uh…biggest regret?"

                "I have none," he replied quickly, and with a sort of crooked smile.

                "Really?" I asked, disbelief lacing my voice. "I thought for sure you'd say not going to that film school…are you….lying?" I teased.

                "Well, I would have left my best friend behind," he explained. "What kind of school is worth that?"

I hung my head until my hair was covering my face, and smiled to myself. I shook my head slightly. "Gordo, you are…"

                "Amazing?" he cut in teasingly. "Unbelievably good loking?"

                I let out a little laugh, and turned to face him again. "I was going to say the best but…" I cut the sentence off, not really sure where my mind was going with this.

                "But…what?" His tone had dropped from light to serious, and he was now staring at me curiously.

                Our faces were so close I could…shut up! You're his friend, friend, friend, friend…

                Somehow a few words I hadn't know I was thinking managed to slip out. "But…those fit too."

What? Did I mean that? Gordo – amazing, good looking?

                Glancing at him again…well, I was wrong. There were no words worthy of describing the boy sitting next to me.

                Suddenly he got that sort of nervous look in his eyes. I recognized that look, from a party back in eighth grade, when I'd first realized that maybe Gordo had more potential than just a best friend. "Lizzie, maybe we should—"

                Yes, Lizzie, he's right, you should get going, you have no business seeing your best friend as anything else, and—

                And then there was another part of me telling the other half of me, Shut the hell up. Don't let him get away this time.

"David Gordon," I declared, a sudden boldness taking over me. "What are you thinking right now?"

He looked confused. His eyebrows were raised, eyes squinted in a way that was asking What is wrong with you? "Uh…nothing?" he replied meekly.

"Do you want to know what I'm thinking?" I asked assertively, taking his face in my hands.

Bewilderment had taken over his face now. It must have been pretty scary to see me acting so bold and aggressive. But before he could say anything, I swiftly leaned in and kissed him.

No response. I pulled away. Oh, shit. Have I been reading him totally wrong? What have I done? I've just totally screwed things up…oh no oh no oh no oh no...

"I'm sorry Gordo, I don't know what I was thinking, I just…" I shot out quickly, words just rolling off my tongue and flying in all directions. Omigod, omigod…look at his face…he must think I'm insane, totally insane and oh my—

I stopped when I saw his expressionless face break out into a smile. Through it, he somehow managed to say, "I was thinking a little more like…this…" And time slowed to a crawl as he closed the gap between us, and the kiss was long and slow, and unlike any other kiss.

And the thing is, the crickets around us kept chirping, cars kept driving down the nearby street. The fireflies kept flying, lights flashing, and I'm sure people all around us went on living, brushing their teeth and tucking their kids into bed. I wanted to laugh at them all, run and dance around the lake and throw it back in their faces, because they were living their lives as though nothing extraordinary was happening at the moment. Stupid, stupid people. Something amazing was happening, and they didn't even know it.

(A/N: Look for parts two and three, coming soon. This isn't your average Lizzie/Gordo story; it's something a little different. I think you guys will like it. Originally, I'd planned to post parts one, two, and three all together, but I had part one finished and it was burning at me. REVIEW!)