"Ah, it's been a long time since I last toyed with you, hasn't it?"
A sliver of yellow light widened and narrowed as the Joker stepped through the door. To Batman, the light was blinding. He had been kept in this dark room for five days, chained to a wall with no food and barely any water. His body was soaked in blood and covered in delicate cuts, which the Joker had meticulously and mercilessly carved into his skin.
The boredom was killing Batman.
"Not so strong now, are you, Bat-balls?" the Joker said, beaming with joy. It was nearly a week since he'd caught his prey by surprise and dragged him to his lair. The pride he felt still hadn't worn off, and neither had his joy at inflicting pain on his prisoner. "I've planned some great new activities for us to try out."
For fuck's sake, thought Batman. I wish he'd just tell me I'm getting tortured. It's always a fun new game, or a new set of tools he wants to use, or a fabulous ride in a magic roundabout of magic and ponies and fucking rainbow cupcakes. He's so annoying.
The caped crusader wasn't having nearly as bad a time as his arch-enemy thought. Years of martial-arts training allowed Batman to control his sense of pain, blocking out any unwanted sensations... The main challenge was putting on a convincing scream when he was getting tortured. And for some reason, the Joker hadn't resorted to emotional torment, and the cuts and beatings he dished out weren't harsh enough to leave any lasting damage. After several days of isolation, Batman was almost happy to see him again.
Of course, getting captured was all part of Batman's plan. Stopping crime was never such a simple matter. "Why don't you just kill him?" citizens would ask, after the Joker had escaped from Arkham Asylum for the umpteenth time. The caped crusader knew that if Joker was gone forever, an even worse villian would rise up to take his place. Batman didn't want to kill him – just break him.
Without me there, keeping scum like that clown in check, the lower-level crooks of this city are gonna get scared. And when they get scared, they get angry. They'll band up and come knocking on the Joker's door, and all his tricks and traps won't mean shit against an army of scumbags just like him. I'll make sure he doesn't get killed, but he'll keep his head down for a good while afterwards.
"People are starting to miss you", the Joker said, interrupting Batman's train of thought. "Especially, a particularly thorny foe of yours. It seems that without you keeping the peace, her smuggling business has faced a lot of competition."
"Seems like I won't be here for long, Joker. I bet you wished you'd done more than just tickle me these past few days."
"Don't you worry... I'm sending my right-hand woman out to deal with her. It seems the two share a bit of a history."