I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters! I wonder how long 'Stuff of Villains' will be set after "Mainstream"? It seems the cops won't be barging in on the Brotherhood anytime soon so maybe that gives them some time to have some fun! Well I set this story the next day after "Mainstream". Enjoy the ride.
What Becomes of the Broken Hearted?
"Why are we doing this again?" Fred sighed as he put up the decorations.
"Two things," Todd told him as he hung a paper flower to the wall using his tongue. "One, to cheer up Lance from his big break up with Kitty Kat. And two to celebrate our victory! We beat those geeks good!"
"Toad we ran away!"
"Yeah but we got in more shots than they did," Todd told him. "Hey Lance! How you doin'?"
Lance trudged downstairs. "Okay," He shrugged. "What are you doing?"
"We're gonna have a party yo!" Todd called out. "To cheer you up and celebrate!"
"With flowers?" Lance looked around the room.
"Why not yo?" Todd said. "They're festive. They're free and maybe they'll make Wanda hang around some more! I mean she's always complaining about the décor of the place."
"Oh now I get it," Fred said. "You're trying to impress Wanda again! Give it up Toad!"
"No way!" Todd told him. "I just gotta do the one special thing that will make her see the real me inside! Then she'll fall for me like a ton of bricks."
"You're brain is full of bricks if you think she'll fall for that!" Lance said.
"Why not?" Fred folded his arms. "It's the same plan you used to have with Kitty."
"Oh no way was I this bad!" Lance pointed at Todd.
"No you were worse," Fred told him.
"What do you think?" Todd held up two different bouquets of flowers. "The roses or the carnations? I'm gonna leave them on Wanda's bed tonight with a card. Which is more romantic?"
"Oh god," Fred groaned. "Just when I think that it's all over, it all starts up again!"
"I can't believe he's acting this stupid!" Lance said. "Over Wanda? The Psychotic Wicked Witch of the West?"
"Well now you know how we felt with you and Kitty!" Fred snapped. "The Dingaling Ditz of the Northeast."
"This is somebody's sick idea of payback isn't it?" Lance moaned as he held his head in his hands.
The front door opened and Wanda stomped in. She had been spending less and less time at the Brotherhood house and more time away, looking for her father and brother so she could kill them. "No luck huh?" Todd asked as she came in.
"None," She fumed. She saw the decorations. "Okay what's going on here? What happened?"
"Oh nothing much," Todd shrugged. "Let's see. Kelly came over to invite us back to school for the day. We scared everybody as soon as we walked in. Made a deal with Duncan to take out Summers. Got into a battle with the X-Geeks at the School Board meeting and trashed the place. The usual."
"But the big news of the day is that Lance and Kitty finally broke up," Fred said.
"They always break up," Wanda huffed.
"No I mean for real this time!" Todd said.
"You're kidding?" Wanda looked at him. "It's really over?"
"Yeah well," Lance sighed. "She called me a hood, I said that I'd never be good enough for her and then I proceeded to knock her and her friends all over the parking lot with my powers. I think it's pretty much over."
"Well hallelujah!" Wanda sighed. "I couldn't take any more of that romantic drivel around here. At least that's over!"
"Wanna bet?" Fred grumbled.
"Oh these are for you my lovely," Todd handed Wanda both bouquets and raised his eyebrows. Wanda glared at him and hit him on the head with them. "What? They're the wrong color?" He rubbed his head.
"So what are you three geniuses planning to do today?" Wanda snapped.
"Well I'll tell you one thing!" Lance snapped. "I'm not gonna just sit around here and mope over Kitty! Those days are over! Let's do something!"
"That's the spirit!" Todd hopped onto the wall next to Lance. "Lance we are going to help you forget about that X-Ditz," Todd patted him on the shoulder.
"Yeah we are gonna party!" Fred whooped.
"And how are you going to do that?" Wanda asked folding her arms.
"Well…" Fred scratched his head.
"We were just figuring that part out," Todd shrugged as he hopped off the wall.
"You people are hopeless," Wanda growled. "I'm going to my room!"
"Fine Wanda," Lance snapped. "You can sulk and whine about how Daddy and your brother betrayed you all you like. We're going out!"
At this Wanda stopped. She turned around slowly and glared at him. "What did you say?" She said coldly.
"You heard me!" Lance snapped.
"Uh Lance…" Todd gulped. "I don't think you should go there."
"Ever since you got here you've been whining and complaining how everybody's betrayed you," Lance told her. "How your life has been sooo miserable. Well get over it sister! We didn't exactly have the greatest childhoods ourselves but you don't see us acting like a spoiled brat! Heck, I could tell you stuff about my life in foster homes that would make that nuthouse seem like paradise!"
"La-ance," Fred gulped. "Shut up!"
"Well I'm through with feeling sorry for myself!" Lance snapped. "I'm tired of life pushing me around so from now on I'm gonna push back! I will not end up like you!" He didn't notice by now Todd and Fred were quietly trying to sneak out the front door.
"Really?" The air around Wanda started to crackle.
"Yeah!" Lance snapped. Too late he noticed she was charging up. "Uh oh!"
"SHE'S GONNA BLOW!" Todd yelled.
"HIT THE DECK!" Fred screamed.
Before they knew it a huge hexbolt shot them out of the entire house. The three boys ran in terror for the jeep as bits of furniture flew at them. Lance started the car and drove wildly as Wanda shot hexbolts at him. He barely managed to miss them as they tore down the street.
"Well that was brilliant," Todd snapped.
"Great plan Lance," Fred snapped. "Tick off the one mutant in our group that can kick all the X-Geek's butts as well as ours!"
"I wasn't thinking okay?" Lance snapped as he drove.
"Obviously," Todd grumbled. "Hey where are we goin' yo?"
"I dunno," Lance sighed. "Somewhere until Wanda cools off or something."
"That could take days," Fred grumbled.
"So what do you wanna do?" Todd asked.
"I got an idea," Lance grinned. "You know, I never really liked Duncan anyway. Him paying us two hundred bucks for us to help him trash the X-Geeks wasn't enough."
"What are ya gonna do?" Todd grinned.
"How much spraypaint do we have?" Lance asked.
"Quite a bit actually," Todd looked in the back seat. "As well as a few other items."
"Good," Lance smiled. "Let's go!"
Several minutes later the boys were hiding in some bushes near Duncan's house. Todd had been sent ahead as a scout being that he could climb on the walls without getting spotted. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" Fred asked.
"It's Saturday," Lance told him. "Every Saturday Duncan goes off with his buddies to play touch football and to party all day. His parents won't let him have a party after the last Christmas incident so…"
"What about his folks?"
"They're almost never home," Lance waved. "I heard they were in the Caribbean or something."
"No one's home," Todd told them as he hopped back.
Lance grinned. "Perfect! Let's get to work!"
Soon the entire house was covered with toilet paper and graffiti. "Another masterpiece if I do say so myself!" Lance crowed as he finished a very descriptive limerick about Duncan's body parts.
"Why are you signing it with Summer's name yo?" Todd asked.
"So the X-Geeks will get the blame instead of us," Lance smirked.
"Good plan!" Todd smiled. "Too bad we can't break in and trash the place."
"Why not?" Lance asked.
"Because I see a cop car coming up the road!" Todd pointed.
"Run!" They fled into the woods before the cops got there. They got back to the jeep and laughed as they drove around.
"Hey I'm hungry yo!" Todd said after a while. "Let's get some lunch!"
"TO CHARLIE'S CHICKEN SHACK!" Fred crowed.
They strutted into the nearly deserted place. People stared at them as they walked in. "Hey everybody's looking at us!" Todd said. "We're famous yo!"
The pimply-faced teen behind the counter stared at them with his mouth open. "What do you want?" He gasped.
"Well," Lance looked around. "Let's see this is a take out place. Call me crazy but we'd like to order something."
"No," The boy gulped.
"Excuse me?" Lance raised an eyebrow. "What did you say?"
"I said no," The boy's voice raised. "Get out you mutie freak!"
"What did you call me?" Lance growled.
"I…I said go away mutie," The boy behind the counter gulped.
"Here is a fact," Lance grabbed him. "I am a mutant. Not a mutie. A mutant! I happen to have been born with certain powers. I had no control over this, just like you have no control being a total dork!"
"Hey put him down you freak!" A man dressed in a Chucky Chicken costume shouted.
"Freak?" Lance glared at him. "A man dressed as a chicken is calling me a freak?"
"I got him," Fred lumbered over, cracking his knuckles.
"St-stay away from me!" The Chucky Chicken yelped.
"Or what?" Fred cocked his head. "You gonna lay an egg?"
"Help," Chucky Chicken gulped as Fred grabbed him and dragged him to the back. "NO! NO! NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!" Several feathers could be seen flying.
"Now where were we?" Lance growled. "You think because I'm a mutant my money's not good enough for you? I think you owe me an apology! Well?"
"I…I'm sorry sir," The teen gulped.
"You know I don't think that's enough," Todd grinned as he hopped up on the counter. "How about a meal on the house?"
"Sounds good to me," Lance made an evil grin. "You have a problem with that?"
"Uhhhh," The teen shook as Todd grabbed some food with his tongue. "No."
"Good," Lance let him go. "Let's take four of everything. To go!"
The people behind the counter couldn't get the food out fast enough. "Hey Freddy!" Lance called out. "We're outta here!"
"Coming!" Fred came out wiping his hands. "You know I always wondered what a plucked Chucky Chicken looked like!"
"Let's blow this place," Lance and the others took the food and left. Just before he left, Lance let out a mild tremor that shook the place.
"Man that was classic!" Todd whooped. "Nobody in this crummy town is gonna push us around no more!"
"That's right!" Lance nodded. "And that includes Wanda! Let's go home!"
"Boy you really are a glutton for punishment aren't you?" Fred grumbled.
"Aw come on," Lance waved. "She must have cooled off by now."
"Wanna bet?" Todd groaned.
"Don't worry about it," Lance said as they drove up their driveway.
"Oh I'm not," Todd said. "But just all the same, why don't you go in first?"
"Fine," Lance huffed as he opened the door. "I will." He cautiously looked around. He turned to them and folded his arms. "See? She's not here! Nothing to be scared of!"
"Hello Lance," Wanda said behind him.
"Yaahhh!" Lance jumped. "Wanda! Hi! How's it goin'? Uh we got some food! Want some?"
"All of you, follow me," She ordered. "Now!"
"Better do what she says," Todd gulped as he followed her.
"I'm not gonna cross her," Fred said.
Soon they were all outside. There was a mini bonfire roaring in the back yard. "What's this?" Lance asked. "Are we going to have a camp out or something?"
"Oooh!" Fred raised his hand excitedly. "I wanna roast some marshmallows!"
"Me too!" Todd hopped up and down.
"Can it you weenies!" Lance snapped. "What's this all about Wanda?"
"I want you to put your money where your mouth is," Wanda said.
"What do you mean?" Lance asked.
"You say you're over Kitty," She pointed to the fire outside. "Prove it!"
"How?"
"We're gonna do a little 'Hex Your Ex' ceremony," Wanda said. "It's simple. You burn all the stuff she gave you and put a curse on her."
"Hey that sounds great!" Todd nodded.
"Uh…I don't think Kitty ever gave me any stuff," Lance said.
"Oh yeah she did Lance," Fred said. "Remember that scarf she gave you for Christmas?"
"Thanks a lot Blob," Lance grumbled.
"Here it is yo!" Todd grabbed it from a small box with his tongue and handed it to him.
"I took the liberty of going into your room and taking what you need," Wanda smiled sweetly.
"Uh thanks," Lance looked at the slime stained scarf.
"Do it!" Wanda commanded.
"Burn this thing?" Lance put up a tough front. "No problem!" He gulped and tossed it into the fire. "See, nothing to it."
"Okay, now let's try something Toad hasn't wrecked," Wanda took out a picture of Kitty. "Go ahead Lance. Burn it!"
"Burn it! Burn it!" Todd and Fred chanted. "Burn it! Burn it!"
"Yeah why not?" Lance said nervously. "It's just a crummy picture. See, it's the day of the Sadie Hawkins dance. We got our picture taken before those huge dinosaurs arrived."
"We remember Lance," Todd said. "So what are you waiting for? You want the lizards to come back or something? Do it!"
"Yeah," Lance gulped. "Right. No problem. I can do this. Just give me a minute will ya? I just wanna look at it a little…"
"What for?" Todd shouted. "She dumped you! Do it!"
"Yeah," He held it over the flames. "Right. Just let it go and have it burn. Just burn it…just…NO!" He drew it back.
"What are you doing?" Todd cried out incredulously.
"I can't do it!" Lance yelped. "I'm not ready! It's too soon!"
"Oh for crying out loud!" Fred screamed.
"I can't!" Lance whined. "I can't do it!"
"So much for big bad Avalanche," Wanda snapped. "I knew it!"
"Hey just because you never had a date doesn't mean you have the right to rag on mine!" Lance snapped.
"Oh no Lance," Fred groaned as he saw Wanda powering up. "You really have to work on that mouth of yours!"
The next thing Lance knew he was running for his life from the fire. He climbed up into the tree before he realized that trees were made out of wood and wood burns. "Wanda! Wanda! Stop it! Stop it!" He cried at the flickering flames. He dropped his picture of Kitty and it fell into the flames. "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Wanda you made your point!" Todd told her as he started using his slime to put out the fire. Fred had run in and grabbed a fire extinguisher and helped put the flame out. "And it ain't true what Lance said! I care about you! I'd go on a date with you in a heartbeat!" He gave her a hug. "My poor misunderstood sweetie!"
Wanda responded to this by throwing Todd into the tree with Lance. "What'd I say?" Todd moaned.
"I AM OUT OF HERE!" Wanda stormed into the house. "WHY DO I STAY HERE WITH THESE MORONS?"
"Kitty…" Lance whined. "Why?"
"Wanda!" Todd pleaded. "Why?"
"Why do I have to be the only sane one in this group?" Fred shouted to the heavens. "WHY?"