Cpov
There is just something about the way he gets me that makes me wonder if he can read my mind. There is just something about the way he smirks. There is just something about the way his kisses make me weak. I wonder if I'm in love or if I'm just confused, like I was with Jake. No one understands. 'Clare, he broke up with you. Get over him.' That's what they always say. Its not that easy. I wish it was. I don't like being putty in his hands. I cant help it.
There is something about the way I feel when he talks to Imogen and Fiona. There is something about the way he is so sarcastic. I don't understand why he doesn't have more friends. There is something about how he whispers that he loves me. There is something about the silly accents he does. There is something about his whole personality. The black. The guitar pick necklace. The convers. Everything.
He is my everything. I wish he wasn't, but he is. I love him. I no longer wonder, I know. I wish I didn't. That is really weird to say, I know. But I mean, he broke up with me. I wish I didn't care about him. I wish I could hurt him like he hurt me and then when he asked what the problem was I could say it was him, so he would see how the words hurt. But I cant, and I wont. I love him too much.
"I'm happy you're chasing your dreams."
"I want a happy ending."
I almost broke. I almost forgot everything and took him in my arms and held him like he would never leave. Almost.
"We're not a fairytale Eli."
With that I walked away from him.
My friend.
My ex.
My rock.
My helper.
My listener.
My everything.
The tears did not fall until I turned the corner and I prayed to God that he didn't chase me. I couldn't deal with that right now. I don't know what would come from him chasing me. Probably me reconsidering my decision and I few kisses. The thought of that was so tempting that I almost turned and ran to him, apologized, and kissed him senseless. Almost.
There is something about the way I care so much for him, but I don't want to get hurt. There is something about his laugh. There is something about his sense of humor.
There is something about HIM.