I'll never forget him. Mail Jeevas, Matt, the love of my life. Even now, when there's not much left to my life anyway, I still can't shake the feeling that something went wrong. We were perfect. We were supposed to make it out alive, we were supposed to be together.
I'll never forget the day I lost him.
He sits in his cell,
And he lays on his bed.
Covers his head and closes his eyes.
He sees a smoking gun,
And the coward he ran.
And in his arms is the bleeding
Love of his life.
Matt coughed pathetically, hunching over, blood spraying onto the already soaked pavement. I knelt next to him, my whole body shaking. "Oh, god, Matt... oh, god... hold still... "
He wilted back into my arms, and I held him as tightly as I dared. My hands quivered, darting between the wounds on his chest and his mouth, where I gently wiped away ruby red drops. He coughed again, releasing still more blood. I didn't know how much more could possibly be remaining in his body, but judging from the scarlet-strewn ground, it couldn't be much. I tried not to move him, fighting the urge to pick him up and run to the nearest hospital. I'd never make it in time.
Suddenly, he was shaking even more. I scrambled to see what more could be wrong, what else I could do to help- and realized that he was laughing. He was sitting there with his life leaking out onto the blacktop, and he was laughing.
"What the fuckcould possibly be funny right now?" I almost sobbed. Matt inhaled sharply, choking on a mouthful of blood, and my heart throbbed. I saw the weakened smirk on his face.
"Bet you can t kiss this one better, Melz," he murmured.
My breath caught in my throat. "Doesn't mean I'm not going to try." I pressed my lips to his forehead, wishing and half expecting one of those lame movie-scene situations where the sun bursts from behind the clouds and the air starts sparkling and the dying guy is magically healed by his true love's kiss.
But for Matt, there was nothing but the cold night wind.
And he cries,
"Kiss it all better,
I'm not ready to go.
It's not your fault love,
You didn't know, you didn't know."
His hands are so cold,
And he kisses his face.
And says "Everything will be all right."
"Everything will be alright, Matt," I whispered. His breathing was almost even now.
He tried to speak, but the words were incoherent. I leaned forward and caught, "Stay with me until I fall asleep?" A hundred memories of the nights we'd spent together at the orphanage flashed through my mind.
Lightning flashed, just outside the window, and the crash of thunder rang through the whole room. Suddenly something landed on top of me with a fwump.
"Gah!" I sat up to find a trembling, terrified Matt burrowing into my stomach, face hidden in the blankets. "Come on, Matt. It's just a thunderstorm." He lifted his head enough to shoot me a glare, but the next boom had him right back under the covers. I shook my head with a smirk. Crazy redhead.
"Can I sleep in your bed, Melz?" he mumbled into my chest.
"I've never been able to stop you before." I tugged the blankets around us, wrapping him up in my arms.
"Stay awake with me," Matt whispered. "Stay with me until I fall asleep."
I squeezed my eyes shut and swallowed past the lump in my throat. "Of course I will."
A smile touched his lips, and I knew he was remembering with me. He lasted a few more seconds before his chest fell and didn't rise again. My heart stopped as I waited for him to pick up and keep breathing.
He didn't.
I leaned close to his face, until his lips brushed against me, hoping beyond hope to feel his breath on my cheek.
But there was nothing. Matt was dead.
He noticed the gun,
And his rage grew inside.
He said, "I'll avenge my lover tonight."
Matt was gone.
The rage that boiled up inside me wiped away everything else. The rest of the mission, Kira, and even beating Near; none of it mattered anymore. Matt's gun lay next to his body.
His corpse.
I picked it up and started shooting.
Now he sits behind prison bars,
25 to life and he's not in his arms.
He couldn't bring him back with a bullet to the heart,
In the back of a man who tore his world apart.
He holds onto a memory,
All it is, is a memory.
I got them. Not that it matters much now, and look where it landed me. High-security prison with no one to bust me out, now that Matt's gone. Sure, Roger could've, if the fake ID I'd had on me was one of his. Instead, my days with the mafia finally came back to kick me in the ass. None of them were going to come for me. They'd all hated me. I could rot in jail forever for all they cared.
But I killed them. The ones who d shot Matt, those stupid bastards who'd opened fire for no reason and killed the love of my life. Of course, they hadn't known who they were shooting, or that they'd have an extremely pissed off boyfriend on their asses. Yes, I avenged Matt.
But I still cry myself to sleep almost every night.
He cries,
"Stay with me until I fall asleep,
Stay with me.
Stay with me until I fall asleep,
Stay with me.
Stay with me until I fall asleep,
Stay with me.
Stay with me until I fall asleep,
Stay with me."
Sometimes it's easy enough to imagine him here with me. He comes to me in my dreams, tells me it's okay. "You didn't know it was going to happen, Melz. It's not your fault. Let me kiss it all better."
Kiss it all better,
I'm not ready to go.
It's not your fault love,
You didn't know, you didn't know. (Kiss it all better.)
Stay with me until I fall asleep,
Stay with me.
Stay with me until I fall asleep,
Stay with me.
(kiss it all better.)
Stay with me until I fall asleep,
Stay with me.
Stay with me until I fall asleep,
Stay with me.
"Stay with me until I fall asleep, Matt," I whisper, and close my eyes.