Please comment and enjoy... This it my first ereri fic. If you have any suggestions please share. Also I am not a doctor so I used what little I know and therefore don't mean to offend anyone about anything. English isn't my first language.
Levi was sitting on his desk which was loaded with papers. On normal occasions, even the mere mention of 'mess' was enough to irritate him to no end so trying to sort out the one in front of him had sent his day free of operations to hell.
He huffed in annoyance as he stacked another patient file on the mountain of the ones he had read. He still had at least two times bigger of a mountain than that to go through.
He could already tell that he was going to have another busy year, going back and forth between the hospital and his empty apartment.
His friends would invite him to outings and parties as always. And as always, he would refuse, prefering a few hours of sleep and rest before he would return to the hospital to make another surgery or he would be called for an emergency in the middle of the night.
Everyone would say that it wasn't healthy. They would blame him for being a workhaolic. They would advise him to get some rest. They would tell him to go 'home' sometimes.
Did they know that he had no such place to fit in that word?
Did they know that he looked for excuses just to stay away from that lonely, gloomy apartment?
Did they know that the only place he felt like a human being was the hospital?
'We live to make choises Levi. And our mere raison d'étre is to try to avoid regretting them. You are making your own life choises yes, but you will have regrets if you keep pushing everyone away and drowning yourself in work. You should find someone. You should-'
Did Erwin know anything about him?
Did he know how painful it was to see loved ones die?
Did he understand the fear of losing someone again?
Did he know what he had lived through to prefer being al-
Suddenly a loud crash echoed in the small office and Levi returned to reality.
He realised that he had spaced out as he gazed at the cup of pens scattered around on the tiles.
He grunted and raised his head to look at the clock. 8.23 p.m.
It was way past the end of his shift.
He would prefer to finish reading the lasts of the patient files before going to his apartment to take a shower and sleep but his aching eyes and the pain in his back and shoulders said otherwise as he bent down to pick the pens.
'Maybe I should take a few of them with me...'
He thought as he slowly straightened up with the cup filled with pens in his hand.
He sighed and put the files on the shelves around the room.
Then he took out his phone and checked the screen more out of habit than expectation.
'No new messages.'
As always.
He put on his coat and checked the office one last time before turning around to go out.
Just as he was about to close the door behind himself, something fell on the floor with a soft thud.
He went back in the office to quickly look around once more.
It was a blue folder with patient files in it. He went over and picked it up. It was a little thicker and heavier than the others.
Levi checked the white sticker on the side with the curly hand writing of his assistant on it.
'Eren Jaeger'
It was one he hadn't looked into that day but he was sure that he had seen the name on his schedule before. He opened the first page absentmindedly.
'Eren Jaeger, Male, 21, ICP.'
'Summary:
Symptomes: Headaches and Vomitting
Tests: MRI, CT Scan
Diagnosed Raised Intracranial Pressure.
Mannitol and Hypertonic Saline and sedatives used. Controlled Hypothermia used.
Surgery to remove fluid is required.'
Levi sighed as he flipped through the pages telling the details about the case.
He could already tell that there was little to no hope for this one. The results of the tests, the worsening of his condition despite the different treatments already applied, the percentages of the risks...
Everything said that it was impossible to save this one. He would surely have permanent neurological damages even if he didn't die from ICP.
Levi looked at the small photo of the young man on the top right corner of the first page.
He had chocolate brown hair and a tanned skin with blue-green eyes. But what caught his attention was the small smile and the hope filled look on his face.
He could easily imagine that look slowly fading away. The bags forming under his eyes, his lips shrinking into a thin line and his composure slowly turning to a sickly white.
Levi opened the last page to see the surgery date.
'Eren Jaeger.
15.08.2017
Hange Zoe.
Levi Ackerman.'
Levi closed the folder and placed it back on the shelf after that.
The patient would need to be taken care of in the hospital after the surgery. If things went well, he would be able to stay in a special room. If they didn't succeed, he would be placed in the intensive care unit of the hospital with the others like him who fought death with their eyes closed and their bodies unmoving.
Levi bid the few nurses in the night shift goodbye. He made his way out to his BMW and drove himself to the street he lived in, not even bothering to turn on the radio despite the suffocating feeling the silence gave him.
In the hall of the building, he checked his post box.
No letters.
It was always empty since he had turned to the automatic paying and online bills.
He went in the elevator and watched his own face in silence until he arrived at his own floor.
A pale skin with a disgusting tone to it, cool grey eyes that betrayed no emotion. Unmoving and cold. Dark hair with no particular shine to it. A muscular but short build.
Everything about him was bad. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't see his own self as a living, breathing human being.
He looked more like a haunted portrait from the middle age. Frozen in time, forever trapped with the same expression. Not living. Not dying.
The keys clicked as he unlocked the heavy front door.
The apartment was the same as he had left it. Spotlessly clean with wide rooms and too much space for one person.
It was not the first time that he thought that the house was more like a museum, displaying how one must look instead of a place which was used and lived in.
He mechanically hanged his coat, put on a kettle of water to boil and took one of his routine 15 minutes showers. He made tea and opened his laptop.
'2 new mails.'
He clicked the 'show' button.
'25% DİSCOUNT!
Every cleaning tool comes 1/4 off for only one week! Don't miss the opportunity!'
'Dear customer,
3 bills were paid automatically. See the website for the details.
https..'
Levi sipped the last of his cup and closed the lid. He placed the kettle and his cup in the dishwasher before finally deciding to go to bed.
The digital clock on the fridge read 11.29 p.m. He would surely wake up before his alarm again. Maybe he would go to the hospital early in the morning and have breakfast in the cafeteria.
.o.
Levi removed the bloody medical gloves and washed his hands with disinfectant soap in the back room of the operation hall.
Everything had gone well enough with Eren Jaeger. The nurses were currently taking the young patient to a special room.
He had made a hole in the young man's skull and managed to relieve the pressure by taking some fluid out through the spinal cord. After that the young man would need good care and regular check ups. He would be held in the hospital in case his condition worsened again. Levi would monitor him through his assistants and keep up his treatment.
He walked to his office after getting comletely cleaned. He didn't have anymore surgeries that day. He only needed to check rhe recent test results and reports about a few of his patients and view the notes his assistant Petra had jotted down for him during the operation. He would write a quick repırt about the patient to add in the folder after discussing with Hange who had helped in the operation.
He decided to buy some coffee for himself.
In the cafeteria, the female cook was holding a colorful paper in her hands trying to fold it.
Origami?
He shook his head and ordered.
As he passed the reception, he saw the nurses were also folding colorful papers.
He saw several others in the halls, resting areas, information desks and on chairs doing the same during the walk to his office.
He still paid no mind to it and sat on his desk, taking out Eren's folder withought the slightest wonder.
The young man had been in the Sina Private Hospital for 9 days. Part ıf his treatment had been done in a public hospital. He had had the tests in there about four months ago as well.
His condition had't been bad enough to go to intensive care in those nine days except for his last day before the surgery.
Risks were still present. His condition could worsen suddenly and another surgery would be required. But Levi had managed to lower down the percentages by a few.
He would need to discuss the man's condition with him and his relatives after he woke up.
He would visit the patient tomorrow,he decided as he finished his other paperwork and got ready to go out at 6.30 p.m., one hour after the end of his shift.
No calls.
No messages.
No letters.
No mail.
Empty apartment.
15 minute shower.
Tea.
Bed.
Another monotone evening.
.o.
The next day, Levi was free of surgeries again. He finished some of his work in the mornnig and went to the cafeteria for lunch.
People were still doing something with papers, he realised.
He ate silently and left the cafeteria for his ıffice again.
"Mister Ackerman!"
He stopped and turned around to face Petra, his assistant.
"Yes, Petra?"
"You are going to see the patient in room 104 right?"
"Eren Jaeger? Yes."
"Good. Can you taje these to him?"
She held out a paper bag and went away saying a small 'thanks' quickly. Levi looked inside the bag to see colorful paper.
Birds?
Why did he need to take paper birds to a patient?
Deciding not to dwell on the mayter to much, he went and took Eren Jaeger's file. He didn't have much to do anyway. He could visit the man then and get it over with quickly.
He walked the short distance and stopped in front of the gn which read '104'.
He took a deep breath to ready himself to see the face of the man who had 52% chance of dying.
The pain in his eyes, fear, unwillingness, tiredness, anger,...
He knew what he would face as he knocked and opened the door.
But the scene before him was not even vlose to the one he had imagined.
Instead of the cold, grey room he had been sure that he would see, this one had colorful birds hanging all around it.
The young man was sitting on the bed, not displaying even the slightest bit of pain. He had the food tray of the bed opened on his lap and he was folding papers with a smile on his face. He was humming a song to himself.
He had a hole on his skull. There were tubes attached to his body.
How could he look so... calm? Happy?
He raised his head to look at Levi when he entered. Levi was surprised to see his bright smile and eyes shining with something Levi couldn't recognise. He looked at Levi expectantly for a moment.
"Hi."
Levi blinked and cleared his throat.
"I am Levi Ackerman. I will keep up your treatment during your recovery. I-"
"I know my condition. Every doctor says the same sentences, really. And you don't need to worry about breaking the news to me, Mr. Ackerman. I will die within two years at most, I know... Are those from Petra?"
He gave a grin as he pointed to the paper bag eith his thin hand.
Levi blinked and looked down in his on hand.
"How-"
"Only she uses those bags, by the way you can call me Eren. Do you know how many cranes are there in that bag?"
He returned to folding his paper.
"No."
"Can you count them, please?... Come on sit."
He pointed to a chair.
Levi went over to sit without really thinking.
He slowly took out the paper cranes from the bag.
"If you make 1000 paper cranes, your one wish will come true. This is a story from my hometown. I want to see if it's true before I die."
There. How could he talk about death like that? Wasn't he scared?
Levi didn't understand it. He had never seen a patient like Eren before.
"Mister Ackerman, I know that doctors are all silent but you can at least respond so I know if you can hear me. I will start to think you need first aid or something."
He chuckled at the dumbfounded look Levi thought he had on his face then.
"How many cranes are there."
Levi looked at his lap and quickly counted.
"23. Are you really doing this for a legend?"
Eren smiled at him kindly.
"You see, that's one of my last wishes."
"Last wishes?"
"Yes. I have a list. I have 10 of them."
He handed a paper to Levi.
To finish making 1000 paper cranes.
To wear my fave blue sweater again!
To grow a blue rose (;-;)
To see a grey goshawk.
To have a kitten
Tolisten my mother's story again. :)
To hear the sound of the waves of the sea in my hometown.
To have a family christmas *-*
To see Armin again.
"The 10th one is a surprise. Even I don't know it yet. But I will figure it out soon."
Eren smiled at him.
As Levi read the list again, he felt something stirring inside him.
It was too foreign of a feeling for him to recognise. It felt a little painful and made him want to vomit.
Suddenly he felt like suffocating in the room and he went out after a quick farewell to a surprised Eren.
He literally ran to his office after washing his face and locked himself inside, drowning himself in work.
He didn't even realise that he had forgotten to talk to Eren or one of his relatives about his condition and explain the treatments.