Ok this is my second Eva fic. It's probably crap. I dunno, read, flame for
all I care, cuz I'll just keep on for about another 2 more chapters then
stop. But it's only under 'Humour' because there's no section called 'Pure
Crap' so you've been warned that this fic will stink.
Legal crap: I don't own anything, I don't own NGE, David Bowie, Queen, or Vanilla Ice. I don't own anything that I write in this fic, there.
Big-Ass warning: My last fic I got majorly flamed because the fic was script mode.I really should change it to normal format, but you know, I don't care, cuz you guys can just stop reading right now, so don't start bitching to me that its script mode-alright?!?!
Story Starts now!!!!!
The tiny alarm clock beeped for about 10 seconds until Gendo reached up and turned it off. He sat up and stretched, nothing like a good night's sleep. All he needed to start the day was a good ol' newspaper.
Gendo walked out of the room, still in his pajamas. He looked around, saw the first house, and took the newspaper. He walked back to his office where his sleeping bag was.
A/N: You people do realize that I'm saying that Gendo is one: too cheap to pay for his own newspaper and two: doesn't have a home so he lives in his office. Just to make sure you people all knew that.
At about 7 am he was dressed and ready for his bastard like life. He pushed a little intercom button on his desk.
Gendo (Into Intercom): Yes, yes I would like an Egg McMuffin and a coffee please.
Maya (Other end of Intercom): What? Sir? Jeez, for the last time, this isn't McDonalds! Now what do you want sir?
Gendo (Saddened): Oh. well, send in my daily amount of bastardization.
Maya: Yes sir.
Just then the office door opened up and an old lady walked in, holding a pie.
Old Lady: Son, I brought you a nice warm pie.
Gendo (Walking up to her): Oh thank you mom.(Grabs the pie, then sprints back to his desk, then pushing a large, red button, thus making a large anvil falling on Gendo's mother) yep.well I feel good for the day. And there's pie!
Gendo wolfs down the pie (pumpkin pie) and smiles. Just then, there was a knock on the door.
Gendo (whipping crumbs off mouth): Enter.
Shinji enters, looking really nervous.
Shinji: Well, um I-and so I-
Gendo: What?
Shinji (Taking breath): its Father's Day ya know.
Gendo (Thinking to himself): And what the hell does this have to do with me.
Inner Gendo (Mentally slapping Gendo): He's your son you dolt! Meaning you is his father!
Gendo (Thinking): Oh.I knew hitting up Yui was a bad idea... (Outloud) And?
Shinji (Surprised That his father actually cares): Well, um.I made you this card.it's a macaroni card.^_^*
Gendo (Jumps up): Wow! First pie, now macaroni! (Savagely eats macaroni and card)
Shinji:.O_o
Gendo (Walking back to his desk steps on a bug. You hear the very loud crunch throughout the entire building. Gendo looks down, shock covered his face) Mr. Rolly Polly, NNNNOOOOOO!!!!!! (Bends down and cries over smooshed bug)
Shinji: ¬_¬ (Quietly walks out of office)
Gendo (Still crying): I'm so sorry Mr. Rolly Polly! I'm sorry! .Wait-I just apologized to a dead bug.how sad is that.I'm gonna change my life! (Walks out of office)
~~ Command Center ~~
Ritsuko (Handing Misato some coffee): Morning.
Misato: Ugh.morning.
Shigeru (Playing his guitar): Man, I love this song. (Plays the tune of 'Under Pressure' which is the same as Ice Ice baby.its sickening really.)
Makoto: Isn't that Vanilla Ice?
Shigeru: No! No! I will not except that! (Rocks back and forth) its not Vanilla.it's Queen damn you!
Misato: .you're right.it is Queen. (Glares at Makoto)
Makoto: No-it has to be Vanilla Ice!
Shigeru: No. It. Is... David Bowie and Queen. (Plays 'Under Pressure' again)
Makoto: No. That's Vanilla Ice.
Shigeru: No, see, this is Vanilla Ice (Play same tune but with one extra 'ding ding da' to the tune) .see?
Makoto: Let me hear that again.
Shigeru: See, this is David Bowie. (Plays 'Under Pressure') and this-this is Vanilla Ice. (Plays tune, but as he hit the first high note, the string breaks, the guitar some how flies out of his hands and flies backwards through the control tower) Whoa!
Just then Gendo steps out. (a/n: you all see this coming right?)
Gendo: Ok everyone I just lost a deep personal friend. It-it made me realize that I've been a bastard to everyone and all of you--I just want to apol-(Gets hit in the head with the neck of the guitar in its downward decent.) Gah! (Falls to the ground.)
Fuyutski: (Glances left and right, while the crew in the tower look at him in horror as Fuyutski bends down for Gendo's back pocket.)
Random Tech Crew: (in slow motion) NNNNNOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Fuyutski: (Pulls out a wallet and waves it infront of his face)
All: Phew.
Fuyutski: (Looks around real fast, pulls out Yui's picture, and scuttles into a room labeled 'Sub-Commander Rest Room' and promptly shuts and locks the door.)
All:.........(Involuntary shudder)
Makoto: Well, you can't really blame him, he is 55 years old and was never married.
All: (Agreeing Murmur)
Kaji: Yea, and that mail-away-bride thing never worked. And now we're stuck with Asuka.
Asuka: Hey!
Misato: Yea, well it's true.
Asuka: Hmm.ok (continues her 'beer wench' services along with the German/Austrian clothing and walks to the other end of the tower where the old perverted men are) shit.. My ass is doomed..
Gendo: (Still passed out)
Misato: Well, I guess I'll check what else is in his wallet.
Misato walks up to Gendo, and checks his wallet, and smiles.
Misato (Big Grin): Jack pot!
Ritsuko (Nervously): Umm...what did you find?
Misato: Ladies and gentlemen, I have found Gendo's baby pictures!
The whole crew runs up too look at the long list of Gendo baby pictures, there was the classic butt picture, those ones where you're dressed up as a sailor, etc.
All: Wahahahaha!
Fuyutski comes back into the control tower all sweating and putting the Yui picture in his pocket.
Fuyutski: What are you all looking at.oh.
Fuyutski looks at the picture to see a baby's body, but the same Gendo face, where a cute and adorable baby face should be.
Fuyutski: GAH!
Ok so there's the first chapter, it will be updated soon, at least the next chapter will be.review or not, there WILL be a next chapter. ~~Skidlebop
Legal crap: I don't own anything, I don't own NGE, David Bowie, Queen, or Vanilla Ice. I don't own anything that I write in this fic, there.
Big-Ass warning: My last fic I got majorly flamed because the fic was script mode.I really should change it to normal format, but you know, I don't care, cuz you guys can just stop reading right now, so don't start bitching to me that its script mode-alright?!?!
Story Starts now!!!!!
The tiny alarm clock beeped for about 10 seconds until Gendo reached up and turned it off. He sat up and stretched, nothing like a good night's sleep. All he needed to start the day was a good ol' newspaper.
Gendo walked out of the room, still in his pajamas. He looked around, saw the first house, and took the newspaper. He walked back to his office where his sleeping bag was.
A/N: You people do realize that I'm saying that Gendo is one: too cheap to pay for his own newspaper and two: doesn't have a home so he lives in his office. Just to make sure you people all knew that.
At about 7 am he was dressed and ready for his bastard like life. He pushed a little intercom button on his desk.
Gendo (Into Intercom): Yes, yes I would like an Egg McMuffin and a coffee please.
Maya (Other end of Intercom): What? Sir? Jeez, for the last time, this isn't McDonalds! Now what do you want sir?
Gendo (Saddened): Oh. well, send in my daily amount of bastardization.
Maya: Yes sir.
Just then the office door opened up and an old lady walked in, holding a pie.
Old Lady: Son, I brought you a nice warm pie.
Gendo (Walking up to her): Oh thank you mom.(Grabs the pie, then sprints back to his desk, then pushing a large, red button, thus making a large anvil falling on Gendo's mother) yep.well I feel good for the day. And there's pie!
Gendo wolfs down the pie (pumpkin pie) and smiles. Just then, there was a knock on the door.
Gendo (whipping crumbs off mouth): Enter.
Shinji enters, looking really nervous.
Shinji: Well, um I-and so I-
Gendo: What?
Shinji (Taking breath): its Father's Day ya know.
Gendo (Thinking to himself): And what the hell does this have to do with me.
Inner Gendo (Mentally slapping Gendo): He's your son you dolt! Meaning you is his father!
Gendo (Thinking): Oh.I knew hitting up Yui was a bad idea... (Outloud) And?
Shinji (Surprised That his father actually cares): Well, um.I made you this card.it's a macaroni card.^_^*
Gendo (Jumps up): Wow! First pie, now macaroni! (Savagely eats macaroni and card)
Shinji:.O_o
Gendo (Walking back to his desk steps on a bug. You hear the very loud crunch throughout the entire building. Gendo looks down, shock covered his face) Mr. Rolly Polly, NNNNOOOOOO!!!!!! (Bends down and cries over smooshed bug)
Shinji: ¬_¬ (Quietly walks out of office)
Gendo (Still crying): I'm so sorry Mr. Rolly Polly! I'm sorry! .Wait-I just apologized to a dead bug.how sad is that.I'm gonna change my life! (Walks out of office)
~~ Command Center ~~
Ritsuko (Handing Misato some coffee): Morning.
Misato: Ugh.morning.
Shigeru (Playing his guitar): Man, I love this song. (Plays the tune of 'Under Pressure' which is the same as Ice Ice baby.its sickening really.)
Makoto: Isn't that Vanilla Ice?
Shigeru: No! No! I will not except that! (Rocks back and forth) its not Vanilla.it's Queen damn you!
Misato: .you're right.it is Queen. (Glares at Makoto)
Makoto: No-it has to be Vanilla Ice!
Shigeru: No. It. Is... David Bowie and Queen. (Plays 'Under Pressure' again)
Makoto: No. That's Vanilla Ice.
Shigeru: No, see, this is Vanilla Ice (Play same tune but with one extra 'ding ding da' to the tune) .see?
Makoto: Let me hear that again.
Shigeru: See, this is David Bowie. (Plays 'Under Pressure') and this-this is Vanilla Ice. (Plays tune, but as he hit the first high note, the string breaks, the guitar some how flies out of his hands and flies backwards through the control tower) Whoa!
Just then Gendo steps out. (a/n: you all see this coming right?)
Gendo: Ok everyone I just lost a deep personal friend. It-it made me realize that I've been a bastard to everyone and all of you--I just want to apol-(Gets hit in the head with the neck of the guitar in its downward decent.) Gah! (Falls to the ground.)
Fuyutski: (Glances left and right, while the crew in the tower look at him in horror as Fuyutski bends down for Gendo's back pocket.)
Random Tech Crew: (in slow motion) NNNNNOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Fuyutski: (Pulls out a wallet and waves it infront of his face)
All: Phew.
Fuyutski: (Looks around real fast, pulls out Yui's picture, and scuttles into a room labeled 'Sub-Commander Rest Room' and promptly shuts and locks the door.)
All:.........(Involuntary shudder)
Makoto: Well, you can't really blame him, he is 55 years old and was never married.
All: (Agreeing Murmur)
Kaji: Yea, and that mail-away-bride thing never worked. And now we're stuck with Asuka.
Asuka: Hey!
Misato: Yea, well it's true.
Asuka: Hmm.ok (continues her 'beer wench' services along with the German/Austrian clothing and walks to the other end of the tower where the old perverted men are) shit.. My ass is doomed..
Gendo: (Still passed out)
Misato: Well, I guess I'll check what else is in his wallet.
Misato walks up to Gendo, and checks his wallet, and smiles.
Misato (Big Grin): Jack pot!
Ritsuko (Nervously): Umm...what did you find?
Misato: Ladies and gentlemen, I have found Gendo's baby pictures!
The whole crew runs up too look at the long list of Gendo baby pictures, there was the classic butt picture, those ones where you're dressed up as a sailor, etc.
All: Wahahahaha!
Fuyutski comes back into the control tower all sweating and putting the Yui picture in his pocket.
Fuyutski: What are you all looking at.oh.
Fuyutski looks at the picture to see a baby's body, but the same Gendo face, where a cute and adorable baby face should be.
Fuyutski: GAH!
Ok so there's the first chapter, it will be updated soon, at least the next chapter will be.review or not, there WILL be a next chapter. ~~Skidlebop