I gaze up at the gray sky and see the doves perched on the wires of the electric posts. I inhaled and felt my lungs being filled with air and I looked around. I can't seem to find my place today it feels a bit weird. I gaze up at the sky once again and only when I look at it do I feel in peace with myself. It surely is a beautiful day that deserves reverence and I pause distracted by a cat. I smiled I liked cats but then I saw a baby bird on the ground. I froze in place quickly being mad at the cat and it froze also already on its predatory stance. I gazed and searched for the little bird afraid it'd be murdered. The cat leaped in the air and ended at the other side of the dump. I searched around and noticed the cat walk gingerly around the dump and down a car. I searched around and saw a group of tiny birds gathered in a group and they danced around the cement. I smiled happily and gazed back at the sky. I heard a door open and I walked behind a car not wanting to be seen. I sighed as I heard the footsteps coming closer and I risked a quick glance and it was my friend Jenna. "Alice, what are you doing out here?" She asked looking deeply into my eyes. "Nothing." I hesitated not knowing myself what was wrong with me. "I'm just thinking." I said. She accepted my answer and flipped through a magazine in her hands. "I can't find that other magazine. Have you seen it?" She asked as I looked away from her across the street. I thought about the magazine, "No, I haven't seen it." I responded. I lay back onto the wall of the church and searched for the answer in the sky. "Why am I like this? Why do I feel like this?" I asked myself deep in thought. "What's wrong?" Jenna asked searching my face. I sighed, "Nothing is wrong; I just feel weird is all." I ran a hand through my dark brown hair and exhaled. I felt sad and tears dwelled in my eyes about to run down my cheeks. I turned away from her looking at the train tracks. "I'm not going to make it." I said. I didn't know why I said that but then I knew. "In the church?" She asked. "Yeah…" I whispered, already the salt water in my eyes overflowing and l let them run their course. "It is hard Alice I know but it isn't easy. It isn't easy for me either and I try hard each day. It's just the Devil placing things on your thoughts." I looked at her then, "I know I always repeat those words in my head but you do all this because you want to do it. It comes out of your heart and I feel like it doesn't matter. I know I'm going to regret but that's how I feel like it doesn't matter." I shrugged and lowered my head in shame. "It's okay you can do it. I know you can; you're a great girl. It's just things in your head push them away you can face this." I sighed knowing she was right I hadn't done anything bad-yet. "It is a beautiful day." I told her smiling a bit. She smiled back and said, "Let's go inside." We went inside and the services began.
The service made me realize I had a lot going for me and indeed I could handle everything that was coming my way. I went to sleep peacefully that night not knowing what awaited me. I dreamed and I can't even describe the vivid dream; I woke up shaken but other than that I was fine. I was in school sitting down on the table eating a sandwich. Jenna and I went outside and it was a sunny day rays of sunshine burning brightly down my face. It was warm and it felt good I missed the sun. Then I didn't see the path before me on heard Jenna talking excitedly about her GPA. I saw how a girl from school got shot in the heart and she fell limply to the ground; the ambulance arrived and took her to the hospital. Though it was too late- her heart gave out and she passed away. The vision was over and I stood there frozen in place. Jenna was there in front of my face, "Alice, Alice, hey, are you okay? Can you hear me?" "What?" I asked and fell back onto the wall; I couldn't believe what I had just seen. What was that? Was it really going to happen? Because I remembered perfectly the paramedic stating the time of death, "February 16, 2009, Monday, 1:20 p.m." He said with a sad but firm voice. My mind was speeding trying to figure out the truth I glanced at my clock quickly and it read 1:15 p.m. I only had ten minutes. I looked quickly at Jenna, "I have to go." I said and with that I ran towards the parking lot as fast I could. I got there out of breath and searched for the light brown haired girl with a brown shirt. I glanced at my watch and it read 1:19 p.m. I spotted her laughing at some text she had gotten and I felt something inside me. My heart thudded loudly and that's when I saw it. The dark blue Cadillac passing by real slow and a guy in the back seat had a gun pointed out towards- towards the girl. I ran my breath coming out ragged, "Get down!" I shouted and jumped in front of her. I heard a gunshot and I closed my eyes hoping that maybe just maybe I had saved her. I felt my heart pounding and felt something wet and sticky but I made no move to stand or move away I was scared of opening my eyes and witnessing my failure in saving the girls life. It was then that I heard screams and people shouting and calling the ambulance. Because in the distance I heard a siren and I let out a breath hoping that she was alive.
I felt hands on me and I opened my eyes then. "What are you doing?" I asked the two men that were looking at me. "You should take a look at that other girl. Is she okay? Did she- Is she…" But my voice trailed off