Title: Coming Home

Author: Kate

Rating: PG

Spoilers: Abu et Banat (aren't you impressed I got that right?)

Archive: Just let me know

Disclaimer:  Not mine just having fun

A/N:  This is to cheer Angie up because she has been sick (or poorly J) and for AJ who is studying madly – hope this makes you both smile.

Feedback: Is always appreciated at katepaul@optusnet.com.au

Toby stood just outside her office door.  He knew he was eavesdropping but he couldn't help it – the raw pain in her voice had him fixed to the spot.  He could sense her longing to be with her father for Christmas, rather than having to try and organize his meals long distance three weeks before the day.  He knew she wouldn't cry here – not in the office, where anyone might walk in, but he also knew it would be a different story when she got back to the sanctuary of her own home.

The knowledge that he hadn't been there for CJ tore at him – he'd been so wrapped up in the twins and making sure the government kept running and dealing with Will's treacherous actions that he had neglected to make sure CJ was coping with her father's illness.  No, coping wasn't the right word.  CJ would always cope – it didn't matter what life threw at her, CJ would always manage to deal with it and, as far as the world would know, she would deal with it with a smile on her face.  Toby knew her better.  In fact he probably knew her better than anyone. After all, he'd been in love with her for as long as he could remember.

It had only been recently that he had been able to admit his feelings to himself, and he knew he would never admit them to her.  CJ was his best friend and if there was even an iota of a chance that telling her about his feelings would change their relationship, then they would be locked away forever, only allowed out to play in his dreams.

As he walked back to his office, their conversation earlier in the day began to haunt him.  He could hear the pain in her voice as she told him she didn't know how her dad was doing, that she wasn't sure he knew the difference.  It was at that moment Toby realized what he had to do.

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Three weeks later

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CJ was roused from sleep by a persistent knocking at the door.  She grabbed a robe as she headed to the door, ready to give whoever it was a tongue lashing for disturbing her Christmas sleep in.

"Whoever this is, it better be good," she grumbled as she fiddled with the latch.

"Hurry up, CJ, it's freezing out here."  She could hear Toby rubbing his hands together to try and keep them warm and for a split second she thought of leaving him there to suffer.  He of all people should know how much she just wanted to ignore Christmas and sleep it away.

"Toby, it is 6.30 in the morning!"  She opened the door to him. "Why are you here?"

"Your Christmas present is waiting for you.  Get dressed and throw a change of clothes and whatever else you need for an overnight stay into a bag and let's get going – you have 15 minutes!"

CJ stood staring at Toby.  Her immediate thought was 'well it's about time he made a move' followed closely by shiver of excitement that he was taking her away overnight.  Of course that thought was then followed by the fact that she knew this man well, and if he was giving her 15 minutes that was literally all she would have. The thought of spending the holiday tucked up in some little inn with Toby had her snapping out of the Christmas depression she had been in for days.

CJ had never packed a bag, taken a shower and dressed as quickly. She only took five minutes longer than her allotted 15.

Toby ushered her into a waiting limousine, which headed out of the city and pulled up at an airport hanger a long way from the main terminal.  The minute CJ folded her lengthy body in the limo she had begun demanding to know where they were headed.  Toby sat there in stoic silence.  She even tried to convince him that it was her constitutional right to know where he was taking her.  Toby merely smiled and informed her that she had come willingly.  There was no way he was going to spoil the surprise.

Once she realized that Toby wasn't going to give in and tell her, she settled back in the soft leather seat and began thinking of the night ahead.  She didn't know what to feel; she had loved Toby Ziegler for as long as she could remember.  Every time he had proposed to Andi, a small part of her heart had died. She never once believed they would ever be more than best friends, had almost resigned herself to the fact that that was all they would ever be. Now it looked like all her secret dreams might come true.

Toby broke into her thoughts by telling her they had arrived.  They boarded a small aircraft - a far cry from Air Force One - but neither seemed to care.  As they sat down, CJ boldly took Toby's hand in hers and rested her head on his shoulder, relaxing enough to fall asleep. Just as she passed from wakefulness to slumber, Toby was sure he heard the words "I love you, Toby".

He sat there stunned and thought about what had happened that morning – he had arrived at her house and told her to pack for an overnight stay somewhere and then whisked her off to the airport in a limousine.  He mentally smacked himself in the head.  She thinks I'm taking her away for a romantic escape!

Toby reeled at the knowledge.  She thought she was going away with him!  And she had come willingly! He wasn't sure what this meant but he was damn sure that by the end of the next 24 hours he would know.

Toby gently stroked CJ's face to wake her.

"Mmmmm that's so nice."  CJ mumbled with her eyes still closed.  Toby was sure she was still half asleep and thought he would test her reaction a bit.

"CJ, I love you," he said as he dropped a light kiss on her forehead.

"Mmmm love you too, Toby." CJ mumbled as she turned her body towards his as if to seek comfort and warmth.

Toby smiled.  Not just a small grin hidden behind his beard but a fully fledged smile.  "CJ, you need to wake up now, we're nearly there."

"No.  Nice dream. You love me."  Toby's smile widened at the thought of waking up to this semi-coherent babble every morning.

"Yes, I do love you, but you need to wake up because we are about to land."

CJ opened her eyes and realized her head was resting on Toby's shoulder and her hand was resting on his upper thigh.  She immediately sat bolt upright, hoping she hadn't been talking in her sleep.

"Toby I didn't say anything …I mean I've been told I sometimes talk in my sleep … did I?"  CJ didn't want to ask outright, too afraid of what she might have said and what he might reply.

Toby looked at the worried expression on her face and couldn't resist playing with her just a little bit. 

"Nope, nothing," he grinned at the visible relaxation of her face.  "Unless, of course, you count telling me you love me as talking in your sleep, because then, yeah, you talked."

CJ buried her head in her hands.  She had been having the loveliest dream – Toby had finally said he loved her and she was able to share her feelings and now she had completely humiliated herself in front of him.

Toby lifted her chin so she was facing him.  "Although, in fairness, I had just told you I loved you, so you were technically responding."  The confused look on her face was worth a hundred limo rides and charter flights.

"You … you love me?"  She questioned.

"Oh yeah, have done for as long as I can remember."

"But….but….I don't……."  Toby loved seeing CJ like this.  Completely confused and vulnerable, it was the side of her she only ever let him see.  He felt the plane land and decided the time for discussing emotions could wait.

"Don't think about it now, we're here."  Toby indicated with his head that they had landed.

CJ looked out the window and immediately recognized Dayton airport.  "You flew me to Dayton.  You bought me to see my dad."  Tears welled in CJ's eyes.  "How could I not love you Toby Ziegler!"  She leant forward and kissed his lips for the first time; felt the love and the desire she had only dreamed of. 

For the first time in her life CJ truly felt she was home.

The End