It was raining. Droplets of moisture pattered the ground in a wet sloppy chorus. The sky was black, so thick with clouds it was like the sun had abandoned them entirely. It was cold for November, any breath that passed came out in puffs. not that there was any. Everyone was silent, holding their breaths dressed in blacks and greys, standing in a circle like some macob meeting. In any other circumstance Blake would find it ironic, like a cheap scene in one of her books.

But it wasn't

She knew it wasn't. It was real, all of it, she'd known that for a while. They were already at the graveyard, a coffin lay in front of her. She'd long given up on trying to will it away but she dared not look at it, dare not confirm what it was.

That coffin was real, and it held her wife. Blake stared down at her feet, the rain falling down the back of her neck and causing her to shiver. Rain fell from her ebony hair in tiny droplets and she watched it splash on the ground, it was the only sound. Her body shook slightly, her deep citrine eyes remained focused on her feet. Her dress was drenched but she didn't care, she hated wearing it anyway, she always hated wearing dresses. She was numb, even the rain falling down her back didn't seem to faze her but she still felt cold.

There was nothing there. Reality felt like a construct, a false memory, something she was watching instead of experiencing. Her vision was blurred, every tiny breath and shuffling of feet disappeared until all she could hear was the rain.

The only thing constant was the rain

Her lungs were tight as if letting out a single breath would cause her to break. She felt like she was made of glass, hollow and fragile, almost robotic. She didn't know how long it had been since she brought air into them but it didn't matter, nothing mattered anymore. She wished that she could just vanish, disappear so no one could see her, she wanted to cry and scream and she wanted to send her emotions far away so she couldn't feel them. The rain falling down her cheeks acted as her tears, she'd cried so many the past few days she wondered if she had any left. She didn't mind being cold, it was better then crying, better then the endless ache she had felt since she got that call. Could people cast away their emotions so easily? For her it seemed so easy before, but now she wasn't sure.

Even the numbness felt wrong but there was nothing there. No warmth, no pain, no anger, no light.

Just nothing

It felt like her spirit had left her and was watching herself from afar, and yet her body still continued to function. It wasn't right, none of it was right.

It would never be right

Yang was across from her, at least she thought. She hadn't looked up to check not that it mattered, the blonde hadn't looked at her in over an hour. Rain dripping from her thick bangs, her usually vibrant locks clinging to her back. Weiss was next to her equally unreadable, her face blocked by a wide brim hat. Blake couldn't help but sigh when they arrived at the funeral home earlier that day.

Black didn't suit them

The rain was getting heavier falling over them like a thick haze, like the entire world was in a fog. It cast a shadow over her eyes, blurring out the ground until all she could see were shapes and colours. It like she was falling, the ground calling to where Ruby was waiting for her. She wish she could see through it, look into her smiling face one more time but the rain denied her. Something snaked across her hand and she jumped, her body shaking back to the small bit of reality she still had a grasp on. She peered down, a small hand was clutching hers it was pale and trembling. She turned slowly, as she did she noticed another colour.

Blue

That's right, she had given Colby her umbrella when they were walking to the graveyard. She could hear the rain dulling as it bounced off. The funeral might've been outside but she couldn't risk him getting sick again. When did she think of that? She couldn't remember. She looked over at the boy, his face was obscured was the large umbrella that he held rather awkwardly. It was dipped up so he could look at her, rain streaming off the side. His wide eyes watched her but they had a strange look to them, sorrow mixed with innocence, almost like he was trying to comprehend his own sadness with her own. She met them, her heart stinging.

They were silver

Colby gripped her hand tightly. She could feel his body shaking, their combined sadness reverberating through him like his own sadness wasn't enough. Like he was trying to take away her pain. She sighed closing her eyes and breathing in, running a hand over over her drenched face, she held that breath letting all the world rush back to her senses. She could hear talking, her breath was shaky as she let it out, tiny streams of air leaving her as she forced life back into her deprived lungs. The pastor was still talking, how long had she zoned out?

Long enough to worry her son. She looked back down at the nine year old, strands of shaggy grey hair poked up from the umbrella. She wondered if his ears were cold, she tried to reach up and check but he wouldn't let go. They shared a look, of what Blake couldn't tell. Longing? Regret? Hope? It was so hard to tell with a child sometimes. How much of it did he understand? Was he looking for reassurance, or was he comforting her? He was always so quiet it was hard to tell, Blake wished she could understand better but she was never good at reading others. Ruby was the emotional one, she could always tell what Colby was thinking.

Finally though, the boy spoke "Mama, your ears are flat"

He said it plainly, like he was pointing out a bug on the windshield that she had missed. She looked up, her ears were against her head, nearly indistinguishable from her mop of black hair. She didn't even notice. She unconsciously ran her hand over them, her hair was cold and wet. She sighed again, of course he'd notice that. She took another deep breath and turned to him "It's just the rain" She whispered softy. She gently pulled her hand from his grip and placed it on top of the ears poking up from his thick hair. He shivered, they were cold.

She felt someone tug on her dress. Paige was on the other side, her face obscured by mahogany bangs. Her youngest was silent and that terrified her. Paige was normally so expressive and cheerful but now it was like all that had been drained out of her. She looked the picture of misery, her shoulders were slumped, she was hunched over, her hair clung to her neck and water dripped from the bottom of her tail. Her whole body pointed to the ground like a wilting flower. Her entire self weighed down by some unseen force, she clung to Blakes dress like it was the only thing holding her up like a statue that the rain was beating against. She looked like a must older person in that moment, weighed down by all the pain in the world, rather then a seven year old. It was like a punch in a gut.

A lump formed in Blake's throat. She wanted to grab her, to pull her close and take all the pain away from her. She wanted to take all of them and fly somewhere where they're pain didn't matter and they could be happy again. he had thought about that so much over the past few days but she couldn't.

She'd be forgetting Ruby

Blake reached over, placing a hand on the girl's shoulder and pulling her close. Paige staggered and leaned her head against her mothers soaked dress. Blake quitely pushed stray hairs from her daughters face, the child amber eyes staring motionless at her feet. Her legs were shaking, like she was going to fall over any minute. Blake's lip wobbled and she bit it, Paige must've been feeling as weak as she was, how could she not have noticed? She moved her hand to bury it in the young girls hair, smoothing and ruffling it in an affectionate motherly way. Playing with it like a kitten would but it was more then that. She wanted to express something she couldn't stay with words yet. Something she wanted to will Paige to understand.

I'm still here

The little girl swayed forward, pushing her head against her mothers comforting hand. Blake wished she could reach her tail, it looked like it was getting drenched. With her other hand she rubbed Colby's ears, the tips were frigid and she was sure they'd eventually start shivering. She returned her hand to her daughters shoulder and leaned down "Paige, come stand next to your brother" She whispered

The girl nodded rigidly and Blake guided her to Colby's side where she'd at least be dry. Paige grabbed onto his sleeve and Blake sighed again. She was grateful her children were standing next to her. She was to afraid to look Weiss in the face and Yang wouldn't even speak at her. If she didn't have them to care for she'd probably lose herself, even now. She needed them supporting her, to give her strength. She knew it was selfish to rely on them but what else could she do?

But Fable...

Fable wasn't even standing with them, she was next to Yang. Her hands were clenched at her side and her shoulders were rigid. Her expression was hidden by thick black hair that spilled over her shoulders and her ears were folded against her bangs. She stood still like a symbol of defiance, as if denying fate hard enough would will her mother back to her side. Blake wasn't surprised, Fable was most like her, she even had her face. Sometimes she had to remind herself she was Colby's twin, they were so different. Fable showed no sorrow, no sadness only hardened determination. She was the oldest and the most similar to Blake but she always felt like she knew her the least. She was stubborn and brash and even Ruby had a hard time understanding her. Blake wished she could reach over and bring her to her side but she couldn't leave Colby and Paige. Fable had been avoiding her since they left the funeral home and she didn't know why. She wish she did though

She so wished she did

The pastor finished his sermon, closing his book. He solemnly turned to the pallbearers and nodded. Blake stiffened, the lock released and Blake's heart sank as the coffin started to lower. She squeezed her eyes shut 'Don't cry' She told herself 'Don't cry' Colby and Paige's shoulders started shaking and Blake wrapped her arms around them from behind. She dared not look at Fable, she couldn't stand to see her tears. She cast her eyes to the ground, biting her lip and squeezed her children's shoulders, trying to swallow back the tears as her wife, the only woman she would ever love, was taken from her forever. She'd never see her smile, hear her laugh or hold her again. It was fine, she accepted this didn't she? She knew this moment was coming and she had to be strong. She wouldn't let her children see her cry. She wouldn't be weak

She peeked at the coffin as it lowered into the ground. She watched it descend until it was out of sight. Holding her breath, she closed her eyes and pulled her lips into a thin line. This was it, there was no going back. She had be strong for all of them them now, to pull all of them through. She'd have to face life without her, she was fine, she wasn't going to run anymore.

But she could at least see her off with a smile

She forced her lips upwards, it hurt but it was okay. Ruby was the one who taught her to smile after all. She took a deep breath, holding her chin up, she made a bid of farewell as the coffin hit the ground. They'd be fine, they had to be, they had no choice. So for the last time

'Ruby, Goodbye'