A fanfiction by: kamuichan99
Genre: General, angst? (I'll try and make sure it doesn't stay that way for long )
Warnings: spoilers for the end of the X TV series, future shounen-ai
Pairings: Kamui/Fuuma, possibly others but I'm not gonna spoil anything ;P
Disclaimer: X belongs to Clamp, not me.
Chapter 1
Sleep has not been kind to him since that fateful day. That day is all he ever dreams about, or to put it more correctly, has nightmares about. Not one night has gone by that he has not been violently torn from his slumber due to the haunting images of that day...The Promised Day.
The nightmares always start off dark, until the lights of Tokyo Tower come into view. Soon the clashing of metal can be heard. Flashes of blue and red lightening illuminate the sky and synchronize with the clashes, as if they were programmed to. Two shadowy silhouettes appear; one tall with a muscular frame, the other shorter with a more delicate figure, both yielding an all too familiar weapon...the Divine Sword, the Shinken.
As a spectator to all of this, a sense of panic and desperation fills his senses, for he has seen this all played out before. He thinks perhaps he can do something, anything, to change the outcome this time. Soon the face of one of the figures can be distinguished. The taller one leaps up to initiate an attack on the other. Another bolt of lightening flickers and allows him to see the taller figure's face is his own, just before said figure brings his sword down one the smaller one.
'Why...' he thinks. A simple question that could pertain to so much, and yet the only answer is the infuriatingly painful logic, that it is destiny.
The battle continues, but he cannot seem to get any closer. He can only watch as the taller figure, who looks identical to him, eventually runs his sword through his opponent. In that instant, the scene changes for him. In his hands, he now holds the freshly bloodied swor and he can all too clearly see the face of the smaller figure. That dark, unruly mop of hair, the crimson blood, which was recently coughed up, that trails down those faintly pink lips to that delicate jawline. But what haunts him the most, however, are those two large violet eyes and the emotions they hold. For he knows that the fatal blow has been struck and soon the other will die, and yet he looks so…hopeful. It just seems so out of place for him. He should be sad, crying, or even better, angry and full of hatred for the one who has just run him through. But no. His lips curve into a tragically beautiful smile, as he says his last words. Sometimes he hears those words, and other times he wakes up at this point, for that last look disturbs him so.
'No...NO!...how could you let me do this...Kamui...you can't die! Please!'
Fuuma shot straight out of bed. He was obviously tossing and turning in his sleep for his body was all tangled in his bedsheets. He was also drenched in a cold sweat and upon discovering this, went to go open his bedroom window for some air.
Fuuma tried, he really did, but he just could not get over Kamui's death.
'That look...how could you have so much hope for me...how could you even consider sacrificing yourself for me!...how could you just so easily forgive me?...'
His dreams were not helping matters either. He wanted to live on for Kamui to grant Kamui's last wish for him, in that respect, but it was proving very difficult to motivate himself to do so, as of late. Monou Fuuma was all alone in the world now. He did not go and see any of the remaining Seals or Angels. How could he? He was not really close to any of the surviving ones as far as he knew from the hazy memories he had of being the other "Kamui." In fact, he was pretty sure he hurt them all in one way or another. The thought of going to see the Sumeragi fleetingly crossed his mind every once in a while. As he recalled, that man also had a similar situation as him, but it was something he never went through with. He was too busy brooding over Kamui and his guilt that he felt for hurting him like he did when he was the leader of the Angels. That and well...school, trying to keep some semblence of a normal life in order to take care of himself, but well...let's just say that was a lower priority to Fuuma.
'If I only was strong enough to fight it. I just wish I could have told you that I'm sorry, and thank you, and...and so much more. I know that I'm supposed to live on for you but what's the point now? I have no one to share your legacy with or anything…what was your purpose for this, Kamui?'
Thoughts like that plagued Fuuma's mind constantly to the point that he believed nothing would bring him greater happiness than to end his pitiful existence in hopes of perhaps joining Kamui, and everyone else, but he could never go through with it. After all, Kamui had to have some reason for this right? Perhaps it was his punishment for all he did and didn't do. So he continued to live, tried to anyway, if only to repent, but all his thoughts tended to drift to a certain violet-eyed boy who had captured his heart, whether he realized it or not.
Fuuma retreated to his bathroom to splash his face with some cold water. He brought his hands down from his face and stared at his reflection in the mirror. The dark rings under his blood-shot eyes were proof he was not sleeping well at all. 'God...I'm so pathetic,' he thought as he sighed and went to grab a towel, but a sudden movement caught the corner of his eye. The movement had occurred within the mirror upon further inspection, and he saw his reflection, only now there were now golden pixel-like orbs floating around. He then saw as his reflection slowly shifted from the depressed, sleep-deprived form that was Fuuma, to a slim ethereal figure bathed in a heavenly golden aura. A painfully familiar figure. Fuuma eyes went as big as saucers as he let out a gasp.
"...K-Kamui?" The reflection turned to Fuuma, smiled and nodded. In an echoing voice he replied,
"It's been a while, ne ne...Fuuma?"
Author's Note: GAH! I can't believe I finally worked up the nerve to actually do this! . If you knew me personally, you would understand that this really is a big deal for someone like me xD :sigh: Anyway, sorry if it seems terribly cliche and unoriginal but I think it will get better later on...maybe .;; The next chapter will be up soon, just gotta type it, so yeah if anyone's interrested. It's my very first fanfic ever so be kind if you decide to review, I'm really nervous. -;;;