Disclaimer: I don't own YYH. But I do own my strange sleeping habits! I also don't own Charmin, Con-air, WE, Pepto-Bismol, Wendy's, Taco bell, or any thing else you've heard of before!
I think Dr. Ichigaki sucks and should die very painfully several million more times. Bakken too. And while we're at it, Elder Toguro pisses me off with his evil little laugh. Let's just make him share the sinning tree. . Okay, and that wraps it up!
Random spectators 1-57 : She's crazy! But so cool! Kill Ichigaki! Kill Bakken! Kill Toguro (elder)! Raaa!
Well now that my random spectators left over from the dark tournament are here, let us begin.
Where's the start button?
Oh, here it is! (Pushes Button)
Amanda: I'm Amanda, and I'll be your host for this new tournament of torture.
Sensui: It's humanity's darkest indulgence, but what the hell. (shrugs and walks off)
Yusuke: Wait a second! Who exactly are we torturing?
Hiei: Anybody the audience hates.
Kurama: Supposing she doesn't disagree. (points at me)
Kuwabara: Please tell me we're not killing me.
Koenma: Just because you're not her favorite doesn't mean she'll torture you.
Genkai: She's killing off the worst of the worst, possibly for a second time.
En (M1): Oh this will be fun to watch!
Amanda: Well then, let's bring out the number one most hated on the list! Bakken!
Yusuke: Oh this WILL be fun to watch. (Grabs popcorn and sits with En, Ryo and Kai)
Bakken: (Appears in gust of sweat fog. Eww.)
Jin: Oi, it's the one with smelly wind!
Touya: Yeah, seems to be.
Bakken: What? Oh crap. I'm gonna get killed again aren't I?
All: Yep!
Bakken: Crap. (is shoved into the ring)
Kurama: Revenge is sweet. Now, what shall be your fate?
Amanda: To make this interesting we will let you choose from three fates, but we won't let you know what they are until you pick the door! (evil laugh)
Bakken: Uhh…. Door number… 2?
Amanda: What an excellent choice! George tell the man what he's won!
George: You've chosen… (Drum roll) DEATH BY EXPLODING TELETUBBIIIIIEES!
Bakken: NOOOOOOOO!
(a door opens and the Teletubbies are released into the stadium)
Random Spectators 1-57: YEAAAA! Dipsy is my favorite! Woooooo!
Teletubbies: (get in the ring) Eh ooooooh!
Bakken: Get AWAY from me!
Tinkie Winkie: (following Bakken) Tele-hugs!
Po: Ahh hugs hugs!
LaLa: (throws her giant orange ball) Haha! Catch! Haha!
Bakken: What the..(is smacked in the face by the orange ball)
Dipsy: Silly man haha! No catch ball with faaace!
Teletubbies: Hahahaha!
Po: Don't worry silly man!
Lala: Give tele-hugs make ALLLLLL better!
Tinkie Winkie: YAY!
Bakken: NO! NO HUGS! PLEASE! (frantically runs from tubbies)
Dipsy: (panting) Silly man run too fast.
Po: I know! NooNoo! Come NooNoo!
NooNoo: (comes)
LaLa: Hooray!
Teletubbies: (all get on the NooNoo)
Bakken: What the fuck! What is THAT!
Teletubbies: Time for tele-hugs silly man!
Bakken: NOOOOOOOOO! (is glomped by tubbies)
Teletubbies: Time for tubby bye bye!
Bakken: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
HUGE explosion and flames that are red, yellow, green, and purple
Random Spectator 1-57: w00t!
Kurama: (Is happy)
Amanda: And so ends round one! And now, a word from our sponsors!
Really fast announcer guy: This brought to you in part by speed racer. Oh ho.
(Commercials)
Announcer lady: Tonight on W.E.
He was a small town mouse with a dream.
He was a sexually confused city ballet mouse
Together they made dance hall history
The producers that brought you the academy award nominated movie "The Rabbit Habit" now come to you with this thrilling tale of
Love
Passion
Hot Gay Mousey Sex
Tragedy
AND DANCE!
Ben and Abigail; Gay Mice In The City
(Rated nc-17 for language, violence, and strong sexual content)
(Next commercial)
(White screen. Yusuke walks onto it holding toilet paper roll.)
Yusuke: Between fighting demons, maintaining a life, and ditching school, I have no time for an itchy ass.
That's why whenever I have to wipe I choose Charmin.
It beats the hell out of that other scratchy leading brand toilet paper, and never leaves anything behind!
(Next commercial)
Lady's voice: Tired?
Koenma: (nods)
Lady's voice: Too much paper work?
Koenma: (Nods)
Lady's voice: Then you need…. Quick wrap from con-air! Instantly transform your hair from that every day blah, into an interesting assortment of twirls and twists!
Koenma: Wow! I feel better already!
Really fast announcer guy: Warning do not leave in hair for extended periods of time. May cause baldness and in extreme cases, decapitation.
(End commercials)
Amanda: So how is it?
Does it suck?
Flames shall be used for other forms of torture.
If you like it, or would like to request a death, please review!
Co-authored by: Shy McFly and me.
Amanda: And we're back!
Julia: Yep, I finally get to talk in this one.
Amanda: Not a lot though, cause you refuse to be the announcer in my place
Julia: Stupid bitch.
Amanda: HEY! I may be stupid, and a bitch, but… wait… wait a second…
Julia: While she tries to get a coherent thought together, let's bring out our next contestant. Dr. Ichigaki!
Random Spectators 1- 57: Booooooo! You suck! And you're ugly!
Dr. Ichigaki: The odds of me dying are very low.
Amanda: Um.. Oh! I may be stupid and a bitch, but he's ugly! I can learn!
Julia: (Pats Amanda's head) Good moron.
Amanda:
Dr. Ichigaki: Well then, I suppose I can pick a door as well?
Amanda: Go ahead mole man.
Dr. Ichigaki: Well, I pick door number one!
Julia: Good choice! George!
George: You've chosen, Death by rabid En, Ryo, and Kai fans!
Dr. Ichigaki: The chances of them having a giant fan following are very low.
(Door opens.)
En, Ryo, and Kai fans: (Are a huge swarm of people) GET THAT UGLY BASTARD!
Dr. Ichigaki: AHHHHHHH!
En, Ryo, and Kai: (Face fault)
Ryo: I wonder how many are fans of me?
(One girl is wearing a Ryo shirt.)
(The rest are clad in 'I love En' or 'I love Kai' clothing)
Ryo: Well, it's better than none I guess.
Amanda: (Has an 'I love En' shirt,) Die Ichigaki, Die!
En: I'm flattered.
Kai: (is stunned.)
Ichigaki: (Is being carried to volcano that is carved into an En, Ryo, and Kai version of Mt. Rushmore.) What are you doing?
Fans: You're going to be a sacrifice!
Ichigaki: NOOOOO! (Falls into lava)
Fans: Hurrah!
Random spectators 1-57: Where did the volcano…? Oh never mind. WHOOO HOO!
En, Ryo, and Kai: (still shocked)
Fans: Now then, Let's kidnap them!
Julia: (Pulls lever that closes gate.)
Fans: Nooo!
Amanda: (In normal clothes, and somehow in the stadium) Well then, until they leave, we can't let in the other contestant. So without further adieu, commercials, and time to plan!
(Commercials)
(In boring office)
Man: Gee Kurama, how DO you get such nice hair?
(Music)
Kurama: I've got the urge! (holds up Herbal essence shampoo)
(End commercial)
(Next commercial)
Singing guy: Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea.
Mitari: Yay Pepto-Bismol!
Really fast announcer guy: Warning, side effects may include, gas, lock jaw, gingivitus, sluggishness, genital warts, swelling of the face, itchy watery eyes, cramps, an urge to do the chicken dance at strange hours of the day, spontainious combustion, death, and in extreme cases, stuffy nose.
(End commercial)
(Next commercial)
(crappy music plays in the backround)
(goes to scene just before they enter maze castle where they walk in a line)
Cingular, raising the bar.
(End commercials)
This by the way is where I can say whatever I want.
Just in case you were wondering why it wasn't over yet.
You can request any character death you like.
I just, might not want o kill them. And If I do, Julia still has to agree.
But still, you probably don't hate most of the people I like, so just request to your hearts content!
Julia: They still aren't gone?
Amanda: Nope, looks like we'll have to do the half time show.
Julia: Yah, oh hey , the commercials are over!
Amanda: Welcome back to the Tournament of torture!
Julia: Where we do what we want to whom we want, when we want!
Amanda: And now, since the En, Ryo, and Kai fans aren't gone, we've decided to have… A half time show!
Julia: Um, what exactly do we have planned for the half time show?
Amanda: sweatdrop Uh… Hey, you know what, I think there was another commercial still!
Julia: Hell no. We're putting this halftime show right now.
Amanda: But who's gonna do stuff? We don't have an act!
Julia: You… have a point.
Amanda: Well, I do know ONE band we could use.
Julia: Who?
Amanda: we could Get McFly transported here all the way from England!
Julia: And what would that do? It would just bring ore fans running in!
Amanda: Well we could use Dir-En-Grey. I love them, and they would scare off anybody that didn't.
Julia: Okay then, it's settled! Here's Dir-En-Grey with their song, Macabre!
Dir-En-Grey: (sing song)
En, Ryo, and Kai fans: (Run away)
Amanda: (Head banging)
Julia: (ignoring)
Dir-En-Grey: (Finish)
Amanda: Oh, can I have your autographs? (puppy eyes) (Gets autographs)
Dir-en-Grey: (disappear)
Julia: Well that sucked. I mean, I expected it to be… longer.
Amanda: Well I liked it. Anyway, Our last contestant, Elder Toguro!
Elder Toguro: Ehehehe! I guess I'll have to go with the final door. Ehehehe!
Amanda: (earmuffs) STOP LAUGHING!
Julia: George, tell the man his fate!
George: Death by, BAD JOKES!
Elder Toguro: Ehehehe!
Amanda: AHHHHHH! II BURNS US! (tries to rip out ears)
Julia: Well Amanda, you get to tell the jokes.
Amanda: Really? HURRAH!
Elder Toguro: Ehehehe!
Amanda: (Has on earmuffs) What do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a pogostick?
(crickets)
Amanda: Really big holes!
(crickets)
Elder Toguro: (Arm blows up) What!
Julia: Ah the power of bad jokes.
Amanda: What's big, yellow, and weighs 2 thousand pounds? A giant canary!
Elder Toguro: (right foot explodes) AHHHH! Stop it! STOP IT!
Amanda: What's green and has wheels?
Julia: What?
Amanda: Grass! I was just kidding about the wheels part!
Elder Toguro: (leg explodes) AHHHH! STOP!
Amanda: What do you get when you cross a porcupine and a balloon? Pop!
Elder Toguro: AHHH! (other foot explodes)
Amanda: Knock Knock.
Julia: Who's there?
Amanda: Interrupting cow.
Julia: Interup-
Amanda: Moo.
Elder Toguro: (other leg blows up) THE PAIN! THE HORROR!
Amanda: What's brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!
Elder Toguro: (other arm explodes) STOP IT!
Amanda: How do you stop a skunk from smelling? HOLD IT'S NOSE!
Elder Toguro: (body blows up) AHHHHH!
Amanda: And the topper! What's brown and sticky?
Random spectators 1-57: What? Oh ew, Amanda, that's gross!
Amanda: A STICK!
Elder Toguro: (Head explodes) (is completely gone)
Random Spectators 1-57: THAT WAS GREAT! Oh my cousin has a MILLION of those! Ding dong the laugh is gone! Hurray!
Amanda: And so ends the Tournament of torture!
Julia: Yep! See ya later, bye-bye!
Puu: PUU!
Amanda: Take it away really fast announcer guy!
Really fast announcer guy: This story may or may not continue depending upon the number, content, and nature of reviews. If you'd like to request a death and style of death, please do so by reviewing. No En-Ryo-and Kai fans, Random spectators, bands or announcers were hurt in the making of this fic. Brought to you in part by Speed Racer, Oho.