Definition of My Power
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Ichigo couldn't understand the feelings coursing through his veins as he stood at the river's edge, blazing amber eyes skimming the surface of the river, looking but not really seeing. His fists were curled up tightly, a tingling sensation running through his hands.
He was pissed and he didn't even know if he had the right to be so. He raised his right fist and glared at the abrasions that were forming along his knuckles. He would have thought that his fists would have been used to attacking Ishida's jaw by now but apparently not.
He scrunched his brows further at the thought of why he really lashed out at the proud Quincy, thinking back on it now, was he really justified in lashing out like that…
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He had just finished work and decided a walk through the park would clear his head of the strange thought's he had been running through lately. The whole fiasco with Ginjo and Tsukishima had really taken a lot outta him, mentally and physically. He was glad he got his powers back, he just wished Soul Society and Urahara could have been a lot faster. He hated the fact that his family and friends had to be caught up in all the drama.
Having to fight two of his best friends wasn't the easiest thing either. However, throughout the whole thing, the one thing he couldn't get out of his mind was the look in Inoue's eye's every time she acted against him when under the influence of Tsukishima. Even though in her mind Tsukishima was her saviour, she was the only one that looked as if she was doing something wrong when she acted against him, as if she felt guilty.
He couldn't help but think that from everybody that had been cut by Tsukishima's blade, she was the only one that might have tried to fight back against the feelings and thoughts that were coursing through her.
This actually got him to thinking about the role she played in his life. Yes, he would consider her a close friend but the truth was, besides him making small conversation with her and him always protecting her, they never really spoke.
When he found out about her interests in Manga, he was shocked to say the least, and he actually enjoyed discussing it with her and borrowing some of hers as well as lending her some of his.
He realised, after she had brought the bread and spoke of her 'dumb female intuition', that she really knew him… And she really cared about him. After finding out about her and Chad's training, his will to protect her and gain his power back doubled tenfold. He was proud of her and the way she reacted to Ginjo but he was still weary and preferred for him to be in the front lines, knowing that she'd be there to heal him after.
Having her there when he fought Ginjo strengthened his resolve, and he realised she always seemed to strengthen his resolve… When he thought Ginjo had done something to her when he couldn't hear her voice, he went crazy even though he was blind, he really brought the saying, 'blind with fury' to life, and when he thought Ginjo was on his way to kill them, he finally found what he was looking for…
He was glad that he was getting his powers back and even more so that his friends were strengthening their own…
He knew that she probably could handle most of what would come at her, but after knowing that for 17 months she'd been getting stronger to help him, he felt that he should at least look out for her. It wasn't overtly exciting rushing over to where a hollow was located only to find Inoue clasping her hands in a silent prayer for the soul she had just cleansed. Yes it was impressive to see how far she'd come but to see her get her 'hands dirty' just didn't sit right with him.
So he made a decision, that he'd keep an eye on her, walk her home from school on some occasions, sometimes work, and he'd actually started training with her and Chad which gave him a lot of insight to her powers and how she connected with them. Throughout it all, he had gotten to know her better, and she wasn't just one of his nakama that he had fighting by his side anymore, she was closer than that.
He was so busy musing over his thoughts that he didn't realise his badge was going off, which was dumped in his bag. He ripped the bag open and fished out the badge, slamming it to his chest. He could feel the heavy set of reiatsu to the east thus shoving his body behind the nearest bush and flash stepping away to his destination.
As he reached his destination, he was able to feel the reiatsu he had been rushing towards, fade away, leaving him looking at two familiar faces as he touched down.
"Nice of you to make an appearance Kurosaki" The Quincy snapped irritably while pushing his glasses up with his middle finger, a deliberate gesture for the Shinigami.
Ichigo frowned deeper and snapped back, letting Ishida's foul mood affect him, "I decided to take my time getting here, allowing your lazy ass to take care of things for once."
Ishida glared at Ichigo, "Well unfortunately, Inoue-san was here before me and took the liberty off taking care of things herself. She got distracted and was hurt in the process. If you actually did your duty as a substitute Shinigami, it could have been avoided." He finished with finality, clearly annoyed with Ichigo's tardiness.
Ichigo's mouth gaped open, looking wide-eyed at Inoue. She was looking at him with her head slightly bowed and a tentative smile upon her face. Her left hand was behind her back and the right pulled at the hem of her skirt. She laughed, trying to diffuse the situation, "Heh heh! It's no big deal, it's taken care of thanks to Ishida-kun and everyone is okay!"
Ichigo scowled at this. 'Thanks to Ishida-kun'. Somehow, he preferred the 'Ishida-kun' being replaced with 'Kurosaki-kun'. He should have fucking been here. He looked at Inoue, watching her as she fidgeted.
"Are you okay Inoue?" he asked softly, realising he was always asking her that same question, groaning inwardly.
She nodded her head rapidly with a big smile. However, to him, it looked as if she was hiding something.
He sighed, "Where did you get hurt? Was it bad?"
"Oh no! It wasn't bad at all! It was my left arm but I got Shun'ou and Ayame to heal it right away so it's good as new Kurosaki-kun!" She replied brightly.
"Don't try and sugar-coat it for him Inoue-san, he should know what his lack of perception caused." Ishida bit from his position.
Ichigo grit his teeth and glared at Ishida, then turning back to Inoue, "What's four eyes talking about Inoue?"
"Oh Ishida-kun, you're exaggerating! I just got caught on my left hand, a minor cut. It's gone now so there's nothing to worry about." She replied softly.
"Ok, then show me your hand, the one you've been hiding behind your back since I got here." Ichigo said sternly, with a determined look.
"Kurosaki-kun, its oka-"
"Show Me Your Hand." Ichigo almost growled. He was anxious and irritated with her avoidance as well as the foreboding presence of the Quincy.
She sighed heavily, looking at Ichigo, awaiting his reaction as she slid her left arm in front of her.
"Fuck!" was the reaction she got.
She winced slightly at his outburst and looked away from his blazing eyes and the words that followed.
"If it was such a small cut, where the fuck did all that blood come from Inoue!" Ichigo yelled, unable to control his temper as he laid his eyes on the tattered remains of the left arm of her school coat, which was soaked with blood. He swore that by just that amount of blood, her hand was most probably almost severed. What would have happened if it could have been her neck?
"I'm sorry Kurosaki-kun, I got distracted when I felt your spiritual pressure and it managed to cut me. I just didn't have time to reject everything before you came…" she said timidly.
"Oh, and that would have made it any better if I got here and you had fixed the blood and your clothes as well! It still wouldn't change the fact that you were almost seriously injured Inoue!" He shouted, annoyed that she would say such a thing.
"Shut up Kurosaki! Stop yelling at her for your incompetence!" Ishida yelled, getting aggravated at Ichigo for taking off with Orihime.
"Where the fuck were you Ishida? Huh? Why the hell weren't you here to prevent this?" Ichigo shot back, turning his wrath towards Ishida.
"It's not my duty to cleanse hollows, it was my duty to protect Inoue-san. I came as soon as I felt her reiatsu in the vicinity of the hollow." Ishida said tightly, continuing, "It seems to me that you never fail to disappoint in your ability to protect her from getting hurt, you should have never made that promise in the first place if you couldn't-"
Ishida didn't get to finish his rant because in the next instant he felt a stinging pain to the left side of his jaw as he fell hard to the ground. He rubbed his face gingerly as he glared at back at Ichigo.
Ichigo was furious. Who the fuck was he to tell him what promises to make and not to make, who the fuck was he to tell him how he should protect Inoue? His reiatsu was flaring around him, ready to strike once again when he saw Inoue rush to the Quincy's side, with concern in her eyes.
That's right, he was her friend too, and by the looks of it and by her reaction, maybe she felt Ishida was right. Neither of his friends were able to witness the hurt and a slight bit of irritation flash across his eyes as he flash stepped away.
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Thinking about it now, was he really angry at what Ishida had said or was he angry that it might be true… She was always getting hurt, even in his presence, and he couldn't do a damn thing about it. Maybe Ishida was right, maybe he shouldn't have made that promise, then maybe she wouldn't have high expectations of him and he wouldn't have to see the disappointment in her eyes at the failure he was always portraying in front of her.
He wasn't left long to wallow in his self-pity as he felt a soft tentative hand slowly attach itself to his forearm. He stiffened at first and thought she was about to retreat but her grip got a bit stronger and he relaxed, sighing and looking into the horizon.
"Kurosaki-kun, what Ishida-kun said isn't true you know. He was just angry that he didn't get there in time and decided to take it out on you…" she said softly.
"No Inoue, he's right. I'm always failing you, always allowing you to get hurt." He replied softly, removing his hand from hers and staring at his open palms. "These hands, these hands are filled with power that was gained to protect, this power exists not for me, but for the people around me and most importantly the people I love and care for. What's the use having it if I can't fucking use it properly!" he bellowed.
Orihime winced at his tone but continued to listen as he vented, maybe it would make him feel better if he just let it all out.
"Everyone keeps getting hurt because I'm always late, because I can't get stronger in time! Everyone has so much faith in me but I keep letting you guys down…" He sighed, ending his rant.
"How can you say that after you're the one always saving us!" Orihime gasped. "Don't you understand Kurosaki-kun, without you, we wouldn't be here, and we wouldn't be the people we are today. You've affected us all in some way or the other, and I feel we've affected you as well." She said quietly, smiling slightly as she watched him turn around and look at her with a questioning look.
"Yes we have faith in you, it's because we believe that you will achieve everything you set your mind on and just by you having that strength and that will power, that resolve, it ends up being transferred to us, it gives us strength and the resolve to fight alongside you. We are never disappointed in you, only when you're disappointed in yourself… Because you shouldn't be, not after carrying all those burdens on your shoulders…"
"I believe that everything happens for a reason, you were the one that was given all that power, not Sado-kun, not Ishida-kun, not any of the other Shinigami, not even I, it was you. So don't see it as if you can't get stronger in time, or that you're always late, see it the way I do. The fact that you always get stronger when you need to, the fact that you never give up and the fact that no matter how late you are, you're always in time. We are all living proof of your strength and will." Orihime finished with a small smile.
He looked at her in awe and then replied with a teasing smirk, "Oi Inoue, when did you become this insightful?"
Orihime blushed and tried to sputter out incoherent babble but Ichigo stopped her.
"Hai, you are right. But just so you know, I may be the saviour in your eyes, I may have protected you, and saved everyone, but the one thing that you're forgetting to mention is that although it may be because of me that everyone is alive and the world hasn't been destroyed yet, if it wasn't for you always saving me, bringing me back from the dead, I wouldn't have even been able to do half the things I managed to accomplish."
She tried to stutter out a reply once again but he silenced her. "I don't know why I'm being so whiny and depressed, and full of words, it's not like me, gah, too much time around that damn Quincy." Ichigo said, scrunching his eyebrows.
Orihime laughed, knowing he was trying to cover up for what he just said, afraid it might tarnish his reputation. She let it be, changing the subject but now knowing how he really felt, "Even though you two are always at each other's throats, you're very much alike. "
Ichigo choked and squawked, "Inoue! Don't say things like that! We are nothing alike!" he finished with a swipe of his hand and an air of finality.
Orihime chuckled softly at his expression, she knew that no matter how much he denied it, he knew deep down that Ishida was his good friend, his next comment proved her right.
"Tch, how is he? Did I manage to at least break some bone?" He smiled, trying to hide the embarrassment that reflected slightly in his eyes.
She tried to ease his embarrassment and the worry he didn't want her to know he felt, "He's okay, I healed him, it was starting to swell. The only thing that was hurt was probably his Quincy pride by getting decked by a Shinigami."
Ichigo chuckled at that, glad that his friend was okay even though he didn't want to show it. He looked at her and noticed her tattered shirt, scowling once again. She noticed the change in his expression and followed his gaze, slowly moving her arm behind her back.
"Are you sure you're okay Inoue?" He scowled.
"Hai Kurosaki-kun, you should know my healing powers well", she smiled softly.
"I do, but I'd prefer if it wasn't used on yourself. I'd prefer if you didn't get hurt at all." He said sternly, shocking her. "Although I can't understand why my spiritual pressure would distract you." he frowned.
"I just wanted to take care of the hollow before you arrived and when I felt your reiatsu, I knew you'd be here any moment and I got distracted in my haste to cleanse the spirit so I would save you the job." She replied softly.
"Tch, I understand you want to help out, and I don't doubt that you can't handle such things, but I need you to focus more Inoue. I don't want you getting hurt. And after all it is my job to take care of these hollows, so please stop doing my job" Ichigo ended lightly with a twitch at his lips.
She giggled at that and saluted, "Hai!"
"Although, I am glad that your defensive and offensive powers are improving" He grinned, showing how proud he was off her.
She perked up immediately at this, her eyes shining brightly, nodding her head excessively, "Hai! Thanks to you and Sado-kun! I'm glad that you have allowed me to train with you, even if I might hold you back, arigatou!" She bowed low, blushing profusely.
"Inoue! Stop with all that! We should be thanking you! You train with us, giving us a different perspective on things, as well as healing us and allowing us to go further in our training!", he exclaimed.
"It's nothing, I'm just trying to do my bit." She blushed, trying to hide her face.
"Baka, we work well together, you, me, Chad and even Ishida. We're a team, and from all the things you were saying to me a moment ago, you should know this, that we help each other out and we all have our place in our battles, no one is a burden."
"Hai, Kurosaki-kun is right, and he's back to himself…" she smiled.
"Arigatou Inoue" Ichigo smiled back, one of those rare smiles that Orihime was always allowed from him, above everyone else.
"Would you mind fixing your clothes and then maybe we could get something to eat after I pick my body up" Ichigo asked, trying to hide the slight dusting of red on his cheeks of how the offer sounded.
Orihime's eyes widened slightly and before the chance could slip by her, she confirmed, a bit too excitedly, "Hai! That would be great!"
Ichigo grinned, glad that her reaction allowed his embarrassment to ebb away. With a slight movement of his head, he motioned her to follow him as he left to retrieve his body from the park which was a short walk away. She fell into step with him and although they walked in silence, he felt overly comfortable in her presence, happy that she had managed to push away some off the fears that had been picking away at his mind for a long while. Everyday their friendship was getting stronger and stronger, just like the power he would use to protect her, never giving up on the promise he had made to her.
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A/N: Hi everyone. This one shot was for all of my fans, especially the guys waiting on an update on 'Equilibrium'.
I have been away from Fanfiction for a while and you have my sincerest apologies. I had an accident that put me off for over a month, so I've been recovering.
I have hit a snag on getting back to finishing Equilibrium, but trust me when I say it will be finished. I just need to get back into the groove of that story. The ending was already planned for that story at the beginning, I just need to type it all out and put it together so it's reading worthy.
So hope this is accepted as an apology!
I've also been catching up with the Manga, and although it's nice that he's addressing the issue of the lost souls of Hueco Mundo, is he gonna bring back everyone that we thought were dead? o_O I wouldn't mind if Grimmjow came back though :D They never really said what happened to him. I just think that many of the chapters are going to deal with a lot of talking about how they all survived... Well that's just my opinion! What do you guys think?
Thanks for reading :)
Kyra, 08/04/2011