"I have to say, that Cones of Dunshire fundraiser tournament went even better than expected, thanks for organizing it, guys" said Ben Wyatt to Mike Wheeler and Will Byers as they entered the private room at Tom's Bistro.
Several former Hawkins residents had traveled back to the area to help out with Ben's congressional campaign. The opportunity to put the creator of their new favorite board game into the US House of representatives was too good to pass up. It was also good to spend time with their childhood friends.
After highschool, Mike Wheeler and Will Byers went to North Western before going into a successful video game creating partnership where Will designed the visuals and Mike created the algorithms. Mike's girlfriend and eventual wife, who preferred to be called Elle, had her own successful psychology practice. Mike's sister became a successful surgeon and married Will's brother, a celebrated photographer in New York.
Their friends Dustin Henderson and Lucas Sinclair also left Hawkins after graduation. Dustin was a famous herpetologist based in Florida, but regularly traveled the world. Lucas Sinclair moved to Houston and worked for NASA. His wife Maxine ran a skateboarding league for troubled youth. Then there was Dustin's good friend Steve Harrington, who made his fortune separate from his parents by developing his own line of hair products.
"Yeah, I'd totally want Picard as my captain," said Mike. "I mean, he's also Professor X!"
"I know, right?" said Ben. "Picard is just superior to Kirk in every way!"
"Totally agree," said Will. "Although I did feel a certain kinship with Spock, especially after the first Abrams movie. Must've been the hair."
" Remember Ben, I'm letting you hold this meeting here as a favor. This needs to be kept on the DL," said Tom Haverford to Ben.
"I know, Tom. Thank you," said Ben. "We'll keep quiet in here."
"I'm serious," said Tom. "If Tom's Bistro gets a rep for being a nerd hang out, it'll be bad for business. Don't embarrass me, I'm begging you."
"Embarrass you?" said Ben. "Excuse me, Lucas works for NASA, Dustin is a herpetologist, and Mike and Will have their over series of comics and video games."
"I told you not to embarrass me, Ben! I begged," said Tom. "You're alright though, Mr. Harrington. Those are some dope hair products you make. They changed my best friend Jean Ralphio's life."
"Um, thanks," said Steve. "I just wish Dennis would quit trying to have a bromance with me. That guy's the worst."
"Will, why don't you show us the sketches you made for our ideas?" said Ben as he decided to get the meeting started.
"Ok, sure," said Will. "Dustin, here's yours." Will held up a picture of Li'l Sebastian with the words 'Elect Ben Wyatt, It's what Li'l Sebastian would want.'
"A fine idea, Dustin," said Ron Swanson. "And while I think art is pointless, Will, I must say that is a fine drawing of the greatest horse of all time."
"It's perfect," said Leslie as she wiped tears of joy from her eyes. "We need to print posters, bumper stickers and buttons and put them everywhere! I know Li'l Sebastian would be proud and he would absolutely endorse Ben and his amazing butt."
"Li'l Sebastian Endorses Ben's Amazing Butt, new band name, I call it," said Andy Dwyer.
"You should totally write that song, babe," said April Ludgate. "That would be so hot to hear you sing it."
"I don't think that's necessary," said Ben,
"Don't ruin the song that's going to get you elected, Ben. That would be the worst thing you could do," said April.
"I gotta agree," said Dustin. "Li'l Sebastian is the best ever, that's why I got one of his grandchildren for each of my seven kids."
"I normally do not give a damn about how other people raise their kids, but that is some fine parenting, Dustin. Well done!" said Ron as he raised his whiskey glass. The rest of the people in the room began to raise their voices in agreement.
"Dustin Henderson!" Chris Traeger exclaimed. "That is literally the greatest parenting I've ever heard."
Ben exchanged confused looks with Mike and Will. They all shrugged. "Okay, I think we all agree that the Li'l Sebastian design is amazing," said Ben.
"Oh, it's so much more than that," said Leslie.
"It' perfection," said Donna Meagle. "I would actually put that bumper sticker on my Mercedes!"
"It's dope!" said Tom. "I'd hang it all over my restaurant."
"Okay, great," said Ben. "Let's see what else we have."
"Alright, up next is yous, El. I made both of your suggestions. First up: 'Hartwell is a Mouth Breather.' Again, you really need to come up with a new insult after all these years," Will muttered out of the side of his mouth to Eleven as he handed her the drawing."
"I love it. Accurate and to the point," said Leslie. "It is the Ann Perkins of Hartwell descriptions."
"Really?" Ann asked Leslie.
"Oh, you beautiful, beautiful swan, you can be anything, including the greatest political slogan ever. I believe in you."
"And the companion piece to this," said Will as Ben nudged him. He wanted to to keep things going before everyone got sidetracked again. "Mouth Breathers Support Hartwell!"
"That could cost Ben the election," said April. "This district is heavily populated with Mouth Breathers."
"April!" said Leslie.
"What? Mouth Breathers make up a large part of this district. We don't want to lose their votes."
"You're so smart, Babe," said Andy. "You think of everything!"
"Oh, while I'm thinking about it," said Leslie. "This waffle from JJ's diner is for you, El."
"It's ok, Leslie. Eggos take care of my waffle needs," said Eleven.
"You say that now, but one bite of this golden, delicious waffle and you'll be saying 'JJ's waffles are the greatest ever. Leslie's right and I'm a mouth breather!" Leslie cut a piece of the waffle for Eleven and held it on a fork for her. "Come on, El, eat the waffle. Eat the waffle, El! El! El! Eat the waffle! Come on, eat it, El, eat the waffle!"
"She's not going to give up on this, El," said Anne. "You should just eat the waffle."
"I agree with the nurse," said Ron. "Normally, I'd say you are an adult and can do what you damn well please, but JJ's has the greatest breakfast food anywhere."
Eleven finally took a bite. Her eyes widened. "This is the greatest thing ever. Mike, do you even love me? Why have you only ever given me eggos?"
"I've offered you other things, you just only ever wanted eggos!" said Mike defensively.
"You should have tried harder," said Eleven. "It's like Leslie loves me more that you!"
"In all fairness," said Chris trying to cut the tension. "Leslie Knope literally loves all of her Galintines day pals more than their husbands do. She's very a very competitive lover."
"Ben Wyatt's wife is a very competitive lover of women," said April. "That'll win the campaign for sure and you're stupid if you don't use it. That's my poster idea, Will, design it."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The former Parks and Rec employees had an enjoyable lunch with the former Hawkins residents. They planned more Cones of Dunshire and D&D events to help raise campaign funds and get new volunteers for Ben's Congressional run.
"Where are you staying while you're in town?" Donna asked April. Donna was visiting from Seattle and April and Andy had come back from Washington D.C.
"We're not actually in town," said April. "We're at that Cabin near Hawkins that I bought from Ron for eight dollars a couple cough drops and Larry's inhaler."
"Yeah, that place is awesome," said Andy. "Apparently the guy Ron bought it from used it to hide a girl from the CIA."
"Is that true, Ron?" said Donna as Eleven ate more waffles instead of her spaghetti.
"What the previous owner did or did not do in that cabin is his own damn business," said Ron. "I did not care and did not ask. However, if he was hiding a child from the federal government, he has my respect."
"I also heard that in 1984, there was an exorcism on a kid to get an inter-dimensional entity out of him," said April. Will spit out his champagne.
"What, an exorcism on a kid?" said Will nervously. "That's crazy!"
"Oh my god!" said April as her eyes lit up with excitement. "It was you, wasn't it?"
"No!" said Will with a nervous laugh.
"April, whether or not there was ever an exorcism performed on Will to get an inter-dimensional entity out of him is his own damn business."
"You know what, you got me," said Will ask he did his best to sound sarcastic. "That exorcism was me, pfft, totally!"
"I'll bet Hawkins has a way weirder history," said Lucas as he tried to steer the conversation.
"Oh, no way!" said Leslie. "Pawnee has the weirdest history ever, but it's still the greatest town on the planet. There is a lot of shared history though. Three of out crappiest companies actually bought the old Hawkins National Lab. Sweetums, Paunch Burger and Feinstein all manufacture a lot of their products in that building. Apparently they mine a rare substance that secretes from around the building. It's in my book."
"Oh, god! No one actually eats anything from Paunch Burger or Sweetums or wears Feinstein scents, do they?" asked Lucas.
"The mouth breathers in town consume it all like crazy," said Leslie. "Why?"
"No, reason I'm sure it's fine," said Lucas.
"Yeah, it explains a lot," said Dustin as he exchanged concerned looks with his friends.
Jean Ralphio and Mona Lisa chose that moment to make their entrance. "Let's get this party started," said Jean Ralphio. He glanced around the room and his eyes fell on Steve. He held the tips of his thumbs together with his index pointing straight it. "Oh my god! You're the owner of Harringhair. You are a very beautiful man!"
"How in the fing F did I not know the owner of Haringhair is in my ex boyfriend's restaurant, you
Jagweeds!" Mona Lisa shouted causing everyone to look at her funny. "I'm in the market for a new sugar daddy, you in?" she asked Steve.
"That just feels very gross and wrong!' said Steve as he wrinkled his nose.
"That's what makes it sexy," said Mona Lisa.
"My sister is just super nasty," said Jean Ralphio as he held his hand to the side of his face and sang the last couple of words.
"Hey, you're like super loaded, aren't you," Mona Lisa asked Steve. She ran over to him and held out her hand. "Money Pweeze!"
"Um, no!" said Steve.
"If I don't get some money from you, I am gonna burn this place to the ground!" said Mona Lisa.
"NNNNOOOOOO!" said Tom. "This place is my life's work! Give her some money, PLEASE!"
"THAT'S IT!" said Steve. He stood up and wacked Mona Lisa with his cloth napkin, then threw it over his shoulder and put his left hand on his hip while pointing with his right hand. "You go home and think about your life, young lady!"
Mona Lisa pouted than ran out of the room.
"That was literally the most amazing thing I've ever seen," said Chris. "How did you do that?"
"I had to deal with these little shits when they were teenagers," said Steve. "I picked up a few things. Besides, she reminded my of a very pushy woman that I ran into when Dustin and I met Ron at Li'l Sebastian's debut fair who wouldn't take no for an answer. I wasn't going to take that kind of crap again." Steve shuddered at the memory.
"How come I never knew you were at Li'l Sebastian's debut, Ron?" asked Leslie. "I thought we were friends!"
"Yeah, what the hell, Ron," said Donna.
Tom looked from Jean Ralphio to Steve and gasped. "Did you have sex with that pushy woman, Steve?"
"To be honest, I don't remember, it was all a very weird blur," said said Steve.
"That's how I'd describe my relationship with Mona Lisa," said Tom. Then he started laughing. "This is the greatest day ever. Do you know what this means, Jean Ralphio? The founder of Harringhair is your father. This is the best possible revenge for Dr. Saperstein destroying Rent-A-Swag!"
Everyone in the room looked back and forth from father to son. "Holy shit!" Dustin exclaimed! "It's true!"
"Oh my god, congratulations!" said Andy.
Ben way the most confounded of all. He shook his head. "I can't believe Jean Ralphio is Jon Snow's half brother!"
AN: I wrote this because the notion that two of my favorite shows could be connected has me nerding out big time. I totally think that Ben Wyatt would be friends with the four main boys on Stranger Things. This was in my head, I typed it out, I regret nothing. The end.
And for people who are reading MKUltra Ripple and asking me to give Will, Eleven and Mike a happy ending, I'll just say that this fic takes place in the same continuity as that one.