"System Error"

Pre-note:

To start, I'll get the obligatory "first fanfic" out of the way, as this is indeed my first story to be posted here. I've been inspired greatly by a few of the authors on this site, specifically "MetroAnime" and "Skysaber," and I love to read their works. Unfortunately, they've moved on to *hopefully* bigger and better things, and left behind great works, though some unfinished. So if you've not already guessed, this is going to be similar to their works... but with my own personal twist. The main hero doesn't have my name and doesn't do what I do. He won't get a lot of help, and he's, unfortunately, hopeless when it comes to romance. My hope with this story is to make a tale that will make some laughs and possibly a tear or two, while I struggle to write an actual story. I think this is long enough, so let's get right into a strange crossover tale of adventure, with some unfortunate consequences to boot.

Disclaimer: This is a fan-written work of fiction, purely for non-commercial entertainment purposes. All characters and ideas within are righted to their respective owners.

Prologue

Sometimes a bad day starts because of bad luck. You get your hair wet, or your dog barfs on you, or you get lost on your way to school. Other times, people cause a bad day, when they're mean or vicious. However, sometimes a bad day starts when an event beyond your control takes your life and turns it upside down. Jack Borne, a private P.I. in residential Boston, was about to have a really, really bad day of the third kind.

The day had started out alright. Wake up, shower, check the messaging machine, then lounge about for a while waiting for work. On a good day, work would show up sometime in the afternoon, in the form of an old lady looking for her lost cat, or a man or woman worried their spouse was cheating on them. Of course, they usually were, but if he shared THAT little secret, he'd be out of a steady income. So, he'd nap the mornings, work the afternoons, and go out for takeout in the evenings. Today had been no different, especially when the old lady had just forgotten the cat in a closet in her house. So it was that he was on his way home from the Chinese place down the block that the day took a turn for the worse.

Normally, when a swirling blue vortex opens up on the crosswalk, You'd avoid it, or stare at it, or even call the City Works to find out what it was. Unfortunately for Jack, when it opened it opened right where his foot was heading, too fast to be stopped. As his foot began to vanish to who knows where, the only thing that went through Jack's mind was 'I hope I didn't leave the stove on...' which while odd, was surprisingly reasonable. With a sound suspiciously like a drain gurgle, the vortex vanished, leaving behind an empty side walk in Boston, bathed in the faint light of the fading dusk.

Normally when one goes plunging into a vortex, they expect to pop out of the other end in a graceful, dignified fall. Not shoot out of a decorative fountain with the force of a cannonball, only to come shooting back down into the decorative pool that surrounded it. Of course, one doesn't normally expect to be unintentionally plunged into a vortex, but there still were some expectations.

Jack sat up and shook his head, droplets of water cascading from his brown hair as he tried to figure out just where the heck he was. He gave himself a quick checkover as he got out of the fountain.

'Hair check, jeans, check, jacket, check, fedora... crap, where's that gone!' Jack thought, taking a quick look around... and then prying his chin off the floor as he continued to stare at the amazing sights around him. Heavenly clouds drifted overhead in a serene light, while white marble streets stretched before him and golden lampposts lit up gold-veined sidewalks. What looked like decorative statues seemed to be plopped on the sidewalks and streets here and there.

'Wherever I am, it certainly ain't Boston' He thought sarcastically, Spotting his black fedora laying on the doorstep of a small building in a nearby alleyway, between some ice-cream place and a gym. He quickly moved to grab it, ignoring the statues that seemed to be staring at him from every corner.

Despite the fact that it was surprisingly unwrinkled, Jack made sure to give it a proper shake out before gently plopping it on his head; after all, P.I.'s needed to have a fedora, right? It was sort-of like a dress code. Taking a look at the neon sign above the door, he gave a snort of disbelief.

"Rival Relief Office? Sounds like a quick-cash scam to me." Jack muttered, before noticing a flickering light inside, the only he'd seen on the streets surrounding it. Giving a shrug, he knocked on the door, then opened it and stepped inside. Ignoring the vast piles of clutter, garbage, and the occasional odd gadget, he made his way to a back room, from which a bright ray of light was emerging from under the door. Stepping quietly, Jack turned the doorknob and slowly opened the door.

Whatever he'd expected, it hadn't been this. He was hoping to find someone working late who could tell him where the heck he was, seeing as he hadn't seen anyone on the streets. Instead, his vision was assaulted by a large computer array, with bright screens shining from several angles, and one of those weird statues he'd seen outside sitting in a chair before them, a look of confusion on it's face. As Jack moved to inspect the strange statue, his foot caught on a loose cable, and he tripped, his hand slamming down on a nearby keyboard as he steadied himself. He had barely enough time to see the screen clear from saying "System Failure" before waving bands of light erupted from the display, and he vanished once more in an eruption of light, the statue's eyes glinting sharply before things settled once more.

Jack blinked. Then, he blinked again, and again, and again. He was sitting on a plateau of pure whiteness, stretching as far as the eye could see, and undisturbed except by the strange blue lady who was at that moment floating gently in front of him. She certainly looked beautiful, with kind features and a pleasant smile. Still, you could never be too cautious, especially since normal ladies weren't a sky blue, didn't float, and weren't see through.

"Hello! I am Belldandy, First-Class Goddess Unlimited License, and I am here to guide you through the current emergency through a serious of pre-recorded messages." The blue lady suddenly said, shocking Jack as he started to stand up, and slid back down to the floor. 'First Relief agencies, now Goddesses?' Jack though disbelievingly, trying to stand. As he did so a chair appeared out of nowhere, giving him a place to thankfully collapse into as the hologram, as he now assumed it must be, floated a little close.

"Did you say emergency?" Jack asked, trying figure just what the heck was going on. This definitely wasn't Boston, and it seemed to him he was a little out of his depths, after all he was a PI, not a police officer.

"Yes, Emergency!" the Belldandy image said cheerfully, smiling at him. "Approximately 6.25 days ago, someone stole the Central Core Program of the Yggdrasil system, resulting in a cascading failure that caused the Ultimate Force to run rampant, resulting in widespread destruction and death!"

Somehow, Jack thought it a little bit creepy that the image of such a nice lady could say something so terrible in such an upbeat and cheerful way. Just as he was about to ask what she meant by that, the name clicked in his head. "Wait a sec, did you say your name was Belldandy? As in, the Goddess Belldandy?" he asked, blanching a little. He recognized the lady now, the splitting image of the character from the anime he'd watched a few years ago. He had a lot of time in the mornings, so he watched anime and read manga to pass the time. He never expected he'd ever really need the knowledge in them, and began to wish he'd payed closer attention.

"Yes, I am Belldandy, Goddess First Class Unlimited License," the image said, smiling at him. "Unfortunately, due to growing errors in the system, our time is short. The CCP has been located in three different time-lines, split into three different parts. You are asked to find the first fragment, and return here. Will you help?" Belldandy looked at him, eyes pleading for him to say yes, as he struggled to wrap his mind around what she was saying.

"So, basically, you want me to find this "CCP," wherever it is, in order to stop Heaven from "crashing" and destroying the world, right?" Jack asked, semi-sarcastically. "Fine, whatever. If you'll send me home afterwords, I'll do that. After all, I have nothing better to do, do I." He indicated the vast whiteness around them, and as he was starting to stand up the image nodded and said, in a robotic tone, "Your Request has been submitted. Beginning Dimensional Transfer to TM-RN-OMG 295501003." Before he could even blink, he was gone once more, vanished into the eddies of time, and sent on the beginning of a long, perilous adventure.

Reviews welcome, Critiques encouraged, Flamers ignored

I hope that this was a suitable prologue, at least for a first story. It may be a while before I post the first chapter, as I'm not a fast writer and I'm very busy. Think in a few weeks.

Happy Easter!