Note: Hello. This is my first english fic. English isn't my first language, so there's some mistakes here. When you see it, just tell me that I fix okay? Thanks.
The italic part is the song Suicide from James Arthur.
This is a fanfic slash (man/man) if you don't like, don't read.
Hope you enjoy!
One, Two
You ready?
Here we go
Maxxie doesn't think about anything except for Tony. He was addicted to him, his body doesn't answer for nothing that wasn't Tony's body. They are kissing again and is nothing like their first kiss or even the second. And even in that time, Max lied when he said that he had found something that Tony wasn't good, because the Stonem was fucking good at this. But now he was even better.
It ain't the gun
It's the man behind the trigger
Gets blood on his fingers and run
Isn't the lie
It's the way that the truth is denied
Definitely better, Max thinks smiling when he finishes of making out with Tony. Lying on his bed, Max felt for one second that he was special. However, he came back to the reality when the other pushed the body away off his hand.
The blonde stares Tony, hurt. Why did he have to be such idiot? For one moment, Maxxie thought he saw blame on Tony's eyes, but in the next second he was with his cold and defiant look that seemed to say "go ahead, do shit while I'm watching."
Without one word, Max knew that it was time of leave the room. He putted together the clothes scattered on the floor.
"I love you" said and his heart gets hurt with the silence. He know that Tony won't tell it back; didn't expect so. But he wanted a reaction.
Tony shrugged his shoulders, pretending that he doesn't care. And maybe he really doesn't care, Max think painful. That is what hurts him. The absence of a answer, the way that Tony pretends that he doesn't cared about anything, but Max knew that he cared about something. He had to.
"Say something, anything." Begged.
"I don't have nothing to say" replies Tony coldly.
Max hates the way the truth was denied, preferred any one thing, because lie he could handle, but not in this way.
But if there is one thing that I'm guilty of
It's loving and giving when you take too much
If somebody asked how we died
Please look them straight in the eye
When Tony acted like that, Max feels that he was the only one that cared on this relationship, that Tony doesn't see him like nothing more than a friend who he could have sex. He wasn't even sure if he was at least a friend to the other.
But he doesn't blames himself. Max wasn't stupid, he had good relationships enough to know that the one thing wrong he did was love and give too much to Tony, because he should had know since the beginning that he would let him like that. Everybody knows that Tony will leave them as soon as he doesn't think they're funny anymore, that's the reason the people hate him so much. And Maxxie knew that, but he ignored because he needs Tony, the more sagacious boy that he knew – a son of bitch manipulator too, but that doesn't makes less amazing how the boy seems to always know what he is doing. And Max loved that, loved Tony. But he can't handle anymore one relationship like this. He was dying inside; they were dying.
Call it suicide
Don't fabricate
Just tell them baby
It was suicide
Don't sugarcoat it
Just let them know
Maybe not dying, because dying gives the impression that they couldn't stop this, avoid that from happening. But they could, so maybe the best word was suicide. Yeah. That was the perfect word. Something that was dead inside, but still could be saved. They could save their relationship and Max was desperate to do that, but he can't do that alone. He needs Tony to cares.
It ain't the knife
It's the way that you use it
How you abuse it in fights
It ain't about the life
You feel you were given
As long as you're living in love
But this seems difficult to happen. Maxxie always talks about how much he likes the other, but looked like Tony was determinate in transforming everything in a big mess, nothing was simple, nothing passed of something that he could use later. Tony should have got an amazing memory to remember all the things that he uses against people, making they feel like monsters.
Tony… He was always defensive, Max realizes. He can't relax, maybe for fear of what he did to people was done against him, but nobody was so clever to do it. Max tried to have patience with him because he understand that this was the lifestyle of Tony's life since ever, and he doesn't want to change him, just want to make him understand that he hasn't a reason to attack him. Maxxie will never do something against him.
Other thing that Max tried to show for Tony was that he always will be loved and not just in the good hours. The blonde has the impression that Tony just feel alive in the time of get laid or when doing a big shit. And that was sad.
You've been killing me softly
And finally that is too much
And I'm all out of whiskey
To soak up the damage you've done
But Max couldn't fix every one of Tony's problems and he is tired of try. He feel like there's no energy to do some other thing.
Max, who never drinks alone, was locked up inside of his room now drinking the last sips of whiskey to try relax. He knew that that was wrong, but he needed it.
He lets the empty bottle falls and already without thinking straight, left home, looking for more alcohol. In the middle of the path, he found Tony.
"YOU!" shout, having the attention of the other that made a grimace typically Stonem – totally lovely and that angered more Max – and pointed to him. "What the fuck is your problem? I did everything to you, and you act like I am…" stop a little, dizzy. "Like I am… like I am… a… slave!" concluded, happy for had found a word.
Tony's expression immediately changed. Max doesn't remember of seeing this face before. He seemed worry and regret, like the other's words really touch him.
"Let's go home." Tony anunciante, pulling him close.
Max doesn't protest.
Call it suicide
Don't fabricate
Just tell them baby
It was suicide
Don't sugarcoat it
Once they arrived at Tony's house, Maxxie ran towards the bathroom. Tony ran after him. Max threw up, feeling really lousy.
"It's alright." Tony calms him, unexpectedly.
Maxxie keeps vomiting for some time and feels really weak, but in none moment Tony left him. Soon as he stops, Tony carries him to the shower and help him to take a bathe with delicately. Max was a bit confused with Tony's altitude, but he wouldn't reclaim.
He left the shower and didn't make two steps before arms involved him.
"Max... I... You're not a slave. You're the person that I care most in life" confided Tony.
Maxxie smiled, but then the smile died.
"But you don't love me?" Asked and the other become quiet.
"No" said and Maxxie felt disappointed. Why the other can't feel the same way that he did? "But I guess I'm starting to love." And for the way he said, Max was sure he was being sincere.
Didn't take longer to Maxxie throw himself in the other, kissing with lust.
Because if they relationship was suicide, Maxxie was ready to commit suicide.
Note: Yeah, it's a little dark, but... Is the way I see them.