I had a way then

Losing it all on my own

I had a heart then

But the queen has been overthrown

And I'm not sleeping now

The dark is too hard to beat

And I'm not keeping up

The strength I need to push me

I stare forward, looking at the ceiling of the tunnels.
I feel lonely.
I'll sound really childish once i say this, but i miss my momma.
And my brothers..
Hell, i even miss Henrietta, Home of the Fighting Hens.
I would give anything to erase this stupid Mark and go back there.
I dont even have a Blue Mark anymore, no, i have a Red one.
Neferet, the Head Priestess, brought me back after i died.
And now.. Nobody knows im alive.
Everybody thinks im dead.
I wish i had died. Then everyone would be sad for a reason, and i wouldnt be stuggling with my emotions anymore.

You show the lights that stop me turn to stone

You shine them when I'm alone

And so I tell myself that I'll be strong

And dreaming when they're gone

Cuz they're calling, calling, calling me home

Calling, calling, calling home

You show the lights that stop me turn to stone

You shine them when I'm alone

I decide to think about my life- my past life..
I remember my childhood, and my time at Henrietta High, my human friends.
Then my times at the House of Night.
How i met Erin, Shaunee, Damien.
How my Hatred for Aphrodite started.
My first Ritual, meeting my Mentor Anastasia Lankford, then finding out my Earth affinity.
Looking back, i figure ive had a pretty good life.
Even if Aphrodite kept calling me Bumpkin.

Noises, I play within my head

Touch my own skin

And hope they'll still be there

And I think back to when

My brother and my sister slept

In another place

The only time I feel safe

I think back about home, Henrietta.
I play whole entire conversations in my mind, conversations with past boyfriends, my mom, my brothers..
My brothers slept next door, and they'd wake me up by jumping on the bed.
And i wonder how they'll feel. They think im dead, and they'd hate me if they saw me. The sudden cravings for blood, even though im only a Third Former-well,was anyways- the bizarre Mark.
I feel sortof happy, that they arent near me, because i dont know if i could hold myself back if they were.
And that thought makes me sick to my stomach.
"And thats enough thinking for tonight."i wisper, and close my eyes.