Clubbin' Shego
Disclaimer: I do not own Kim Possible or any of the characters there within. They are property of Disney!
"Well, I'm heading out."
"Wait, wait a minute, Shego. The device isn't finished yet."
"That's your problem. Later."
Every Friday night for the past five weeks had gone something like this, with Drakken demanding Shego put in a little bit of overtime, and Shego dodging his every argument to get away.
It appeared Drakken was going to lose this time around as well.
"C'mon Shego! Just let me hook up one more wire!"
"Do you need me to babysit everything you do?"
"No! But I was hoping that we could go to the karaoke club tonight and—"
Shego groaned, impatiently tossing her head and stomping one foot.
"Ugh, Dr. D, karaoke is for sorry old geezers who have nothing better to do with their Friday nights. Why don't you try out a club or something if you want to be so hip."
She stressed the last word as an insult.
Drakken dropped his wires and gasped.
"Shego, your words hurt! I'll have you know that karaoke is a big tradition in Japan and—"
"Whatever Dr. D, I'm leaving."
Drakken tried vainly to come up with a witty rebuttal, but the raven-haired villainess had already turned and was walking out. Gaping in her wake, Drakken grumpily crossed his arms over his chest.
"I'm hip." He mumbled to no one in particular, for Shego had gone. "I can Swing, and Boogie, and do the Charleston like those young little ruffians." Drakken thought about it, and thought about it again; considering Shego's words. Maybe he should try out a club, see what kids were up to these days. At long last, Drakken left his lab (after hooking that last wire and only receiving minimal shock thank you very much), he dug around in his closet for "hip" clothes. Hidden towards the back was a set of threads from the 80s.
Drakken shrugged out of his blue lab coat and slipped into stripped parachute pants, tennis shoes, a black muscle shirt and a leather coat. The clothes were a bit wrinkled and musty, but they still fit. Drakken grinned when he found some lengthy (and heavy) gold chains to finish the outfit.
He did a once over in the mirror. He licked a palm and slicked back a stray lock of hair and then pointed at his reflection with both hands.
"Still got it."
Drakken stalked out to find a club.
Drakken remembered why he no longer went to clubs.
They were too noisy, rattling his teeth and shaking his rib cage so badly it felt like he was falling apart inside. The odors that rose up in the clubs were of sweat and sex and alcohol.
These ruffians certainly wouldn't appreciate any rendition of the Oh Boyz.
Drakken had turned down one club after another—the first was too flashy. All the dancers seemed to move as if by one dizzying frame at a time under the strobe lights. He stumbled out of there blinded and crashed into a nearby telephone pole. The second was packed body to body, wall to wall; he couldn't even squeeze through the door. The next did not serve cocoa mo—chocolate milk.
His wallet thinning from the numerous cover charges, Drakken looked up forlornly when a neon sign caught his eye. A coiled neon serpent opened its mouth wide and jumped to a fanged strike before coiling back.
"The Diamondback?" Drakken approached the club in curiosity.
A rather intimidating guard stood post at the club entrance. Finally, a club that should keep the riff-raff out and the serious party-goers in!
"What is up, ma homie-G." Drakken greeted the big man at the entrance.
The large, tall man with dark, sleeked back hair, dressed in clothes barely able to contain his muscles, did not move and Drakken could not see his eyes through the dark shades he wore.
"What makes you think you got what it takes to get into The Diamondback?"
Drakken looked the man up in the face and asked candidly.
"Why do you wear sunglasses at night?"
There was a long pause for a moment in which the man stared menacingly at the blue man. Drakken swallowed hard.
Suddenly the big man guffawed out loud and motioned Drakken forward.
"All right mate, you made me laugh. Go 'head in…but watch yourself, we've got a hot crowd tonight." And again the man laughed, stepping aside to let Drakken pass.
The doctor did so with slight apprehension, although he did not show any of his anxiety to the large man; setting his jaw and strutting forward, Drakken entered the club. These clubbers didn't scare him!
It was dark at first and the heavy bass beat already reverberated through the padded walls of the hallway he had entered from the outside. Drakken steeled himself further and pressed forward through the corridor. A few relaxing couples glanced at Drakken and laughed as he passed. What was so funny? It was true, he wasn't all in tight, revealing leather like these young people, but he would have them know that these parachute pants did not come cheap!
When he finally entered the club arena, he was greeted with a shock. There was a big crowd already in sway to the thrumming music, while above them serpents adorned the walls. Sidewinders, Timbers, Rocks—every species of rattlesnake seemed to be represented, but the favored appeared to be the Diamondback. One in particular caught his eye—the rattler had captured an eagle in its massive fangs; its rattler tail moving back and forth electronically. The bar was a long glass table, numerous liquors layered on shelves behind it. A group of girls glanced at him and giggled as they walked by. He smiled and popped his collar.
Perhaps clubs weren't all bad.
Drakken made his way over to the bar and ordered up a good drink, they had chocolate milk! He tried to follow the bartenders glass-tipping, bottle-flipping moves as he poured five different liquids into the chilled glass. Last time Drakken checked, chocolate milk only took chocolate and milk to make. The bartender slid the concoction toward Drakken. Taking a long draught of the unusually sharp beverage that burned all the way down to his stomach, Drakken listened to a group of young adults arguing over who the better dancer in the club was.
"Viper is a far better dancer, she's sure to win tonight's competition."
"What are you nuts?" One of the girls shot back. "Diamondback is the all-time champ!"
"C'mon, Viper does have some fresh new moves…"
"But Diamond can string a set of steps like no one else can."
-"That is true."
-"I've seen it."
"Viper has style. She's got those fists of fury."
"Puh, I still say Diamond will win!"
"Not on your life!"
"Wanna bet on it?"
And so the young adults started to unfold rolls of cash and raised bets against each other. Where did these little ruffians get that kind of dough? And why wasn't he a part of it?
Drakken took another sip of the drink he strongly believed to be spiked and ruminated. A competition, eh? He could cut a rug and boogie with the best of them with the right incentive. He had yet to overhear a prize mentioned aside from the scandalous side bets on a winner. The scientist rubbed thoughtfully at his chin as he noticed several clubbers sporting black jackets with diamonds embroidered on the back. Most had a single diamond stitched into the black leather, he spotted three with two diamonds stitched side by side. Clearly these were regulars.
Almost all at once, a cry went up, one of boisterous cheers as a name chanted through the crowd like the pulsing of blood through the body's heartbeat.
"Diamondback, Diamondback, Diamondback."
Drakken sat up straight to see the face of the woman who parted the crowd. A slim blonde made her way to the center of the floor. On the back of her elegantly cut, unsleeved jacket sat a trine of three white diamonds.
The man's lips pursed. The woman was beautiful and her easy sway denoted her confidence. The club was hers. Suddenly the cheers rose again, doublefold.
"Viper! Viper! Viper!"
Drakken snorted into his drink with laughter. What kind of a name was "Viper", anyway? What was this club's obsession with serpents? He turned again with a hard gaze to see this newcomer and his jaw dropped, his glass smashing on the floor.
The crowd parted for the high-heeled, tightly leather clad woman, with long, lustrous raven hair tied back in a braid. The double diamonds adorned her back.
"Shego?" Drakken's cry was drowned by the near unbearable screams as a popular song rose through the air.
It started slow with a techno beat and rose to a blasting crescendo.
In a synchronized effort, every person in the club raised a foot and stomped it back to the ground, just in time with the heavy, ground-shaking bass. Every glass on the bartender's shelves jumped and trembled to every heavy beat of that bass and stomp of the club members.
Shego and Diamondback stared one another down as they stomped in unison, waiting for the music to call them into the dance.
Finally a chord of inviting notes pushed the clubbers into their dance, both women moving fluidly, lifting and falling as they rolled from one series of moves to the next. A few brave challengers moved out of the circle that had formed and into the open; following the movements of the two appraised competitors in the center.
Suddenly the pounding base stopped and the club goers went silent as they watched a battle inside the circle ensue.
Shego began with a series of movements, her lithe body dancing to the beat until she paused. The floor was taken by the blonde who mimicked Shego's beginning steps and weaved them in a more complicated array of movements; her supporters following her. A pause; back to his Shego who compiled the entirety of steps so far and put an impressive choreography of steps together.
At last the music picked up again, in which the champions dipped and swayed in very complicated chains of strenuous, but beautiful activity—the other members struggling to keep up. Drakken found himself holding his breath as the music reached its crescendo and the steps were so fluid, one into the other, Drakken could not determine a break in the patterns. As a versatile move, Shego and Diamondback leapt forward, tucking into a roll over the floor and springing nimbly back to their feet, falling right back into the pound of the bass with the famed stomp. Many of the club members laughed and clapped wildly at the display, the cheers were for those standing, the laughter to all of those who had not quite leap back out of the spring, or rolled the wrong way…
Those who had not completed the step, or gotten back up in time to stomp, retreated in good humor back to the crowd. They had been disqualified. There were only a few members left to compete against the two main competitors.
Again the two women stared each other down with grim smiles as if to say: "Still standing, are you?" as they continued to stomp, once again with the crowd. Both women were panting and each had broken a sweat from the first stage of the competition. Many other dancers had failed. Only a girl and a boy survived the challenges enough to continue, though barely, and had almost missed the stomping beat—the crucial, living backbone to the song.
The break to breathe was short before the clubbers were once again called into the dance. Skin glistened with sweat where it was exposed, and those who had failed panted and teetered on their feet, exhausted by the demanding exhibition.
Pushed once again, the remaining contestants danced about each other, each trying to outdo the other. The second round mimicked the first, though the steps that chained together here were much more difficult. The girl fell out of step almost immediately, followed not long after by the young man. Now it was left to Shego and Diamondback—the two versus three diamond, two demi-goddesses of the dance.
The song reached another height and the two dancers were pulled into a strenuous battle for dominance. Both of them were extremely skilled, Drakken noted numbly as he watched Shego sway in the impossible, graceful motions. She moved differently when she fought—more stiff, rigid, and calculated. These dancing steps she took now were much more languid, free, and seductive; though a slip of her fighting style would appear here and there, portrayed in a more subtly refined manner. Drakken found he could not take his eyes from her.
The music climaxed and the dance became impossible, but Diamondback finally managed to throw Viper with a particularly difficult maneuver. Viper tucked and rolled from the ad-libbed dive, missing the bass beat by a half a second too long. A great sympathetic sigh mixed with screams of excitement rang out from the crowd. It had been a close match leaving Diamondback the undisputed victor and Viper the loser.
Drakken saw Shego stand and nod to her adversary, saying something which the blonde grinned at, before she was carried away by the crowd a champion. Drakken could hardly contain himself as he leapt up from his bar stool to confront Shego, shocked that she would be here and tingling all over at the impressive arrangement of dance steps she knew. He moved through the crowd toward his partner in crime. A throng of young men pressed in around Shego, but Drakken parted them. Shego noticed the mad scientist a moment before he reached her and shock overtook her smile.
"Dr. Drakken?"
"What are you doing here, Shego?"
The raven-haired woman glanced around at her supporters, rattling off a quick excuse to beseeching cries for her company before snatching Drakken by the elbow and ferrying him toward a remote corner of the club. She forced him into the corner, leaning menacingly into his face. Drakken could not recall the last time he had been so close to her. It made him a little uncomfortable, especially since she looked livid at his presence here.
"What are you doing here, Dr. D?"
"I asked you first." Drakken replied stubbornly, shaking the woman's viselike grip from his arm. Shego growled in frustration and threw a glance over her shoulder.
"I should never have told you to go to a club, what was I thinking?"
"Indeed. I took your advice and now look." Drakken was hopeful Shego would continue to blame this turn of events on herself.
"Since when have you ever listened to me?" She snapped. Drakken looked offended.
-"I listen to what you have to say, but sometimes you are just so lippy about things…"
-"I can't believe you came here of all places, what are the odds—"
-"and when I do listen you get angry anyway—"
-"how unlucky can a girl get?"
"SHEGO!" Drakken burst out loud enough to drown out the music for a moment and nearly all of the club occupants looked over at him. This got Shego to hush up for a moment, though she clapped a hand over Drakken's mouth.
"You can't call me that here." She snapped.
"Why not?" he asked. She frowned at him before growling.
"It's a long story."
He stared at her. Dressed all in black leather; a jet-black jacket and bodice accented with green ribbons, black knee-high high-heeled boots and her raven hair plaited in a long whipping braid made the villainess look as smart as she was intimidating. The dark ensemble really made Shego's eyes gleam an incredible emerald that scorched Drakken for his unexpected upset to her evening weekend routine. Her outfit caught more than the eyes of one passersby and even left the doctor a little drunk on words. Or was it the cocoa moo?
"You're…You're a spectacular dancer, Shego. Why didn't you ever tell me about this hobby of yours?"
Thrown askance, Shego recovered and her steely grip clutched at him again. Drakken wondered how his compliment had offended.
"It's not a hobby. I'm here to—it's none of your business!" She shook her head and her green eyes alit with fire as she clenched at his arm again. "You're leaving. Now."
Drakken dug his heels in.
"I said you're a great dancer, but you're not the only one with moves."
Shego's horror turned to outright impatience as he waggled his eyebrows.
"Yeah, well, you can just move your backside outta here."
"Hey Viper!" a young man called from the floor. "You promised me a dance!"
Shego turned to face a small group of hopefuls who had crowded around her to stop her from excuses and escape. Shego was placating in her refusal but the boys were somewhat insistent.
"Look, guys. Let me just show this blue guy out and I'll be right back."
"What blue guy?" One young man asked, looking behind her in confusion. Shego spun to find Drakken was missing. She threw her gaze left and right, her braid flying, but Drakken was nowhere in sight. He had given her the slip. Shego took off from her swooning entourage at a run. She needed height—she needed to find him before he did any damage.
The woman stopped at the bar, where she considered standing up on the table to look for the mad doctor as a new song played. A weird song. A startled silence filled the club. This music was unusual; not the standard modern pop and techno. This music was…old.
Laughter began to rise as a man walked to the center of the dance floor.
Shego's heart stopped.
"DR. DRAKKEN!"
Shego's shriek was drowned by the laughter and the strains of a 70's boogie wonderland song as the blue man in striped parachute pants launched into a disco groove.
The woman sprinted for her boss but the crowd was so thick around Drakken that she could not break through. She pressed and pushed and tried different points of entry but the entertainment of the crowd outranked her desperation. She could not remember the last time she had been so embarrassed as the laughter continued.
At the center of the chuckling onlookers, Drakken was pulling all the stops to dating himself with his dance moves. The bump step moved into a line dance hustle composed of integrations of other swing and salsa moves, complete with pelvic thrusts; and a classic John Travolta finisher.
Shego had her palms pressed over her face.
The song finally ended and Shego dove into the crowd to reach Drakken who had raised his fists in triumph. She snatched at his shirt and yanked him to her. Fear overtook the man's features.
"What are you thinking? Do you do this just to spite me? These people don't do this kind of music—they're going to tear you apart! You don't belong here, get back to your karaoke club before I-" Shego spoke all in a breathless rush, her voice a mixture of fury and mortification, but Drakken was looking over her and a slack grin grew on his features.
The crowd was cheering.
Shego lifted her shocked gaze to the shrieking clubbers. They loved him.
-"Hey Big Blue! That was amazing!"
-"Big Blue has all the moves!"
-"Killer moves, dude!"
-"Big Blue! You are on the list."
-"Show us again, man, how did that one step go, Blue?"
A large group of single and double diamond club members closed on Dr. Drakken, clapping his shoulders and punching his upper arm while some of the braver girls giggled and blew him kisses. The posse of clubbers gushed over the old dance moves that were so fresh in the club. Shego got pushed out of the throng and she watched as Drakken chattered with the dancers, high-fiving and repeating his steps with instruction to bouts of laughter and others mimicking him. She had never seen Drakken smile so wide. The villainess stood back, mouth agape before throwing her hands up in exasperation and headed toward the bar. She yanked out a stool and dropped in it fuming as the bartender came around.
"The usual, Viper?" he asked.
"Give me a shot of Everclear, Mike." The squeal of Drakken's new posse grated over the music. She rubbed her temples. "Make it a double."
"Going hard tonight." The bartender's eyebrows rose as he set out a tall shot glass and poured. Over the din of the fickle crowd, Shego could clearly hear the excited club members.
"What's that one called, Big Blue?
"Big Blue tearing it up old school."
"You'll be back next week right?" One of the girls asked. Drakken wallowed in their enthusiasm and cast a superior grin complete with waggling eyebrow at Shego.
The woman rolled her eyes and knocked the shots back, shuddering a bit.
A new 70's song kicked up and the floor was once again in motion—with Drakken at center stage.
"Is nothing sacred anymore?" Shego muttered.
"Just the Step." The blonde Shego had danced against a few songs back appeared at her elbow.
"Diamond." Shego addressed the blonde coolly.
The blonde leaned casually on the bar and nodded toward the doctor. "That guy a friend of yours? I like him. Not afraid to bust a groove."
"Bust a hip maybe," Shego snorted. "We work together. As if I don't get enough of him at the lai—office."
"Ah, you're co-workers."
"Yeah, sure whatever." Shego grumbled, motioning the bartender to pour her another double.
"Your associate isn't much of a looker but he's a superb dancer. I might have to borrow him for the next song."
"Be my guest. I'll have your jacket by the end of the night."
The woman smiled as she caught Big Blue's lingering stare at the bar between songs.
"You know, I met my first husband on the dance floor. We were co-workers too, I couldn't stand the guy but oh, could he dance. He swept me up and held me close and somewhere in the dance I forgot what I found so repugnant about him. The Step has a way of returning us to that primal state of attraction. I fell in love on the floor." She sighed.
"You're talking gibberish, Nicole." Shego droned, lifting her second double to her lips.
The blonde snatched at Shego's drink and downed it herself to indignant cries.
"Now I will be." She grinned. The blonde spun her surly rival's chair around to face the dance floor. "Stop skulking and get on the floor. You want your title back? Win the crowd. Ask Big Blue to dance." And she hip-checked Shego off her chair. The younger woman stumbled and caught herself, throwing a glare at the winking Nicole she made her way toward the doctor with murderous thoughts.
The dancers surrounding Drakken had begun to take their own brave forays into the 70's vibe leaving Drakken open. And defenseless. Shego stalked right up to the man and pointed a sharp-nailed finger in his face.
"You. Leave now." She hissed.
"No way! I'm raising the roof and kicking it old school diggity dog." Drakken struck a pose that prompted Shego to swat him.
"Stop that! You are murdering my reputation!"
"Oh I know you don't need my help with that—my new homies told me all about you losing your name to the best dancer in the club and how you've been trying desperately to win it back, Viper."
Shego took great care to not expose her powers in places she planned to frequent, but her rage now made her hands blaze green. She grabbed Drakken by the collar and yanked his face close to hers.
"If you don't get out of here this second I swear I'll—"
Another light, tinny groove song began to play. The clubbers were so taken with "Big Blue" that they demanded to stay in the 70's vibe and the next funky tune was right in line with what the blue disco dude had danced to.
A chant began to rise through the club.
"Big Blue! Viper! Big Blue! Viper!"
The pair of villains glanced around each other; Drakken in gleeful pleasure and Shego in barely concealed horror. If she chose to disregard the crowd they would turn on her and she would never be welcomed back to the Diamondback, let alone regain claim to her moniker. "The Diamondback," the girl or guy with the best dancing repertoire in the club who held exclusive rights to a beach cottage getaway in the South of France. The mantra of the crowd sealed her fate.
"Let's groove tonight…" The music played.
Shego looked to her blond adversary for rescue, but the other woman held up a glass from the bar with the same smile on her face. The surrounding clubbers eyed her expectantly and closed ranks. There was no escape. A few other couples joined them in the circle and Shego recognized the challenging sneers of Cobra, Sidewinder, and Asp—the ranks below her in the celebrated tier the club held in the highest regard. This was their chance to push the current Viper out since Shego had lost to Nicole earlier.
"Share the spice of life…"
Shego turned back to face Drakken, the only other single man left in the circle, and his gaze was hopeful. She hesitated. The energy of the crowd relentlessly urged her on and Drakken's extended hand did not retract.
"Baby slice it right…"
Shego glanced between his hand and eyes before she clasped his hand with her own. A cheer went up and the clubbers grooved with them on the sidelines as Drakken and Shego fell into step.
"We're gonna groove tonight…"
Drakken's confidence surprised her and so did his aforementioned "moves." She had only ever thought of the man as a clumsy, bumbling mad scientist with one or two shining moments of coherency, but here on the floor the doctor was a different man. When Drakken pushed her into a spin and caught her in a dip, Shego relented to being led if not from shock than awe.
Maybe it was the catchy rhythm, the eager onlookers, or the dusty disco balls that dropped out of nowhere from the ceiling and spun a myriad of colors over the dancers, but Shego found herself relaxing. The stiff movements became more fluid, the dance steps pliable in the steady beat as she matched the doctor. To her surprise, Drakken knew what he was doing. For once.
He danced her close to him and said "Jump!"
The wild cheers of the crowd when Drakken lifted Shego over his head filled the club. Shego's fighting instincts took over and she placed her hands on Drakken's shoulders in a smart handstand. She squeezed and Drakken's arms automatically went to grasp both of hers as she fell forward. Shego swung through Drakken's legs and came shooting back out again to the ecstatic cries of their enthralled audience as he spun her midair back to face him. The crowd went wild. One more twist and turn and the song ended leaving Shego and Drakken struck in a pose, panting as they held each other to the whistles and applause of the clubbers.
Those of the elite Serpent membership looked on in intense jealousy—Viper would hold her rank another day.
The next song began and the dancers swelled into the circle trying their best to imitate what they had seen.
The villains stared at each other, speechless.
Shego came out of it first, restored behind a wall of sarcasm.
"Where did that come from?" Shego exhaled breathlessly, beginning to move to the beat. "Did Mama Lipsky make you take ballet lessons?"
Drakken smiled sheepishly, rolling his shoulders.
"I was well prepared for prom." His face turned sour as he too joined in the dance. "If only I'd gotten a date."
"Maybe it's the way you dressed." Shego teased, heart still beating hard. She was feeling lightheaded; maybe that drink had finally kicked in.
"These threads were the best money could buy!"
"Yeah, thirty years ago."
"It's not what you wear to the floor, it's what you bring to the floor. Credit where credit is due, Shego." Drakken raised Shego's arm and she spun beneath it.
"I'll begrudgingly admit…you have some style." Definitely the liquor talking, Shego decided.
"You kept up with it," Drakken praised, "to think my partner in crime could make a respectable dance partner. Is there anything you can't do?"
"Try me." Shego said.
"You know what will really wow these greenhorns into giving you your title back: Tango. Do you tango?"
Shego grinned.
"Is your skin blue?"
Drakken's smile turned wicked as he led Shego back to the center of the dance floor. He shouted up the DJ for a flamenco-inspired tune as he and Shego easily slipped into the starting position of the Spanish dance. Shego's gaze was something predatory; a dare of conquest that Drakken matched with his own. The clubbers howled their delight at another performance by the duo as a lonely guitar strummed up the beginning stanzas.
"Let's dance."
A/N: I never write fluff or songfics-now here I am guilty on both counts! And wow if that's a lot of fluff. I'm blaming it on the fuzzies the Drakken/Shego ship gives me. The nostalgic bug bit me and it bites hard! I forgot how hard Shego rocks and how hard Drakken makes me laugh and I've been swept up in the KP realms once more.
I actually started this fic, good lord, six years ago and decided to come back to it because it had some promise, but I also remember why I didn't finish it in the first place. As stated above, I don't do fluff for fun-I often feel it takes away from the ethos of the series, but then I figure it's a quick little ditty for entertainment. Shego probably would have forcibly hauled Drakken out of the club the moment she saw him, but I wanted to answer the 'what if' this time. Drakken somehow dragged Shego out to karaoke, I figure it might work in reverse too in a roundabout way. And (ahem, with the right amount of liquor) anything is possible! I took ungodly liberties with their characters, I know, but I figure Drakken has SOME hidden talents that would surprise us, why not dancing?
Yes, I actually had songs in mind (and I played them as I wrote) for this piece. The first song is "Galvanize" by The Chemical Brothers and the second is "Let's Groove" by Earth, Wind, and Fire. Listen to them, then get up and dance! I have no idea who Nicole might refer to. 8D
It was an unusual write and I'm betting an unusual read, but I hope you folks enjoyed! Please leave a review, neh?
Blackfire 18