They say that misery loves company, and what better place to find miserable souls than Oogie's Bug Bar? It was late afternoon when Xion stumbled in through the saloon-style doors and hooked herself a counter stool.
"Name your poison," Oogie oogied.
"Whiskey on the rocks," said Xion.
Oogie rolled some dice onto the counter, giggled like a quack, and then poured the drink. Xion downed it in a single gulp and signaled for another. On her third round, someone else scampered into the bar.
Using a telephone book as a booster, the newcomer plopped down on the stool next to Xion. "I'll have what she's having," said the new patron.
With another toss of the dice, Oogie poured the last of the whiskey and slid it over. What did all the dice throwing have to do with dishing out drinks? Come on, the guy's a pathological gambler! You think he'd spend all his time in a bar without having some issues of his own?
Anyway, the newbie stared into the amber liquid and swirled it around a bit. But instead of drinking it, the newbie slid it to Xion. "You look like you could use this more than me."
Tipsy Xion looked at the glass and then up at its original drinker. "Who're you?" she hiccuped. She squinted her eyes trying to make out a face, but all she saw was some weird, ugly mask thing. Whoa, she must've been totally plastered!
"The name's Shock," said Shock, pulling up her mask and shocking Xion into belching.
"Whoa, you tore off your face!" Xion half belched.
"It's just a mask," said Shock. "So what are you in for? Love troubles?"
Xion downed the gifted drink and slouched onto the counter. "You don't know the half of it."
"Oh, I think I do," said Shock as she scooted closer. "I was feeling off today, but you've definitely turned me on."
Xion nearly choked. That was the most beautiful, poetic thing anyone's ever said in the history of forever. She gazed into the creepy girl's eyes.
"Do you have a map, because I keep getting lost in your eyes," said Shock.
Xion couldn't help but swoon. Oh, how she loved poetry! "Have we met?" she hiccuped.
"Do you live in a corn field? Because I'm stalking you," said Shock. And then it all made sense.
At last, Xion had an admirer! Her face turned beet red, although that was probably more from the alcohol than from flattery. She shivered with ecstasy or epilepsy—she always got those confused.
"You look cold," said Shock scooting even closer. She was practically in Xion's lap. "Want to use me as a blanket?"
Xion snapped. She couldn't take it anymore. Without warning, she pounced onto Shock like a hungry lioness. Oogie oogied as he watched them roll around the floor sucking on each other's faces (all three of them) and out the saloon-style doors. While they were rolling around the sidewalk, Roxas rounded the corner carrying some ice cream. He was totally weirded out by the sight. He backed away slowly and then ran in the other direction.
The two lovers were so consumed by passion that they didn't realize they had rolled right into the middle of the highway. They were subsequently run over by Roo and his 32-wheeler as he headed towards the Fellowship of the Pooh to make a deposit.
The end.