The Zelda Characters Go to Baskin Robbins (for dessert)
Written by Austin Hale
A fourth Episode?! A FOURTH?!!?? That's right, what's a meal without dessert? The perfect sundae or pie, or maybe even a donut... or four… Anyways this may come as a surprise to you but it seems that we have made some minor modifications with the meal humors, and it comes to me that a perfect meal or three should include something special, the Baskin Robbins in Kakariko Village
next to the Bazaar. We begin in Link's House…
-Navi cries-
Link: Oh Navi, will you please shut up? It's not our fault.
N: OF COURSE IT ISN'T!! You're not the one who forgot me in the last 2 stupid meal humors!!! -continues sobbing-
L: Awww. Well, I know what would cheer you up! There's nothing better than a creamy cookies n' cream milkshake!
N: Yay!
L: I meant for me! You can get one of those nasty coffee flavored ones.
N: YAAAAY!!!!
L: Hey, Zelda, wanna go get some ice cream?
Z: Sure honey, I'll be right there.
-30 min. later-
L: What the heck were you doin'?
Z: Let's see, make-up, hair, shoes, perfume, my best looking clothes…
L: -looks at her dress. Of course she's wearing the same thing- Hmph. Women.
-At Baskin Robbins, in line-
L: Um… I'll have the mint cookies n' cream.
Z: Curse this diet… I'll have the rainbow sherbet.
N: I'll have the--
L: She'll have the coffee flavored ice cream with rainbow sprinkles.
N: -sobs- You're amazing Link.
L: Aaaaah, this is the life. Here we are Zelda, eating the best ice cream during the hottest summer days. Just me, you, N--
All of a sudden…
-door SLAMS open. In comes the rest of the gang-
The rest of the gang: LINK!!!!!
Ganondorf: How dare you wear Rauru's underwear!!
-everyone looks at Ganondorf strangely, then at Link, then back to Ganon-
G: I'm just yankin' yer skirt. HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Saria: How could you?! You just barged into here, and grabbed yourself an ice cream without even inviting us! You probably didn't think about us once!
L: Actually, I was thinking about Nabooru, because most Gerudos sell ice cream, ya' know what I mean?
S: Besides, why here? Why not Cold Gossip Stone Creamery? They have better flavors anyways…
L: Well, I—
Rauru: C'mon guys, I'm starving.
All: Alright, yeah, finally!
Rauru: I'll have the applesauce snow cone with medicine for the flavoring!
Ganondorf: There's no way Malon will beat me this time… Mwuahahaha!!! I'll take the sectuple scoop!
Malon: -cries- Awww, I'll never beat him!
Darunia: Are you kidding? It's only 6. You can eat more tha--
M: OOOOH THOSE POOR COWS!!! -sob-
Saria: Um… do you have any that taste like bark, or maybe a sap flavored?
Darunia: I would like the Sandy Scoop with Rocky Road.
SK: Can I have the double scooped double chocolate? No no no, I would rather have the cookie dough--- oh wait how about the plain vanilla, or maybe--
Mido: SHUT UP!!! Um… I'll have what Saria's having.
Employee: I'm sorry, but children can only have the kiddie scoop with a baby bottle pop.
M: -sob- WAAAAH!!
Nabooru: Oh Ganny-poo, I have a surprise for you…
G: Oh goody!
N: Remember that picture we took at your birthday? Well I asked them to get one of those cakes where you give them a picture and they print it on, and I'd like to share it. I mean if you don't want to, I can always--
Ruto: YA GOT ANY SHRIMP, LOBSTER, FISH, OR TURTLE ICE CREAMS?!!?
-BARF-
Nabooru: Never mind, I just… -puke- lost my appetite.
E: Sorry. All we have for sea creatures are the octopus tentacles with the seaweed soup icecream.
R: Good enough for me!
Impa: I'll take that… um… that one…
E: Um… excuse me?
I: This one, right there. Yeah, that one.
E: But you're pointing at three.
I: Exactly.
E: OK. I'll make all of your ice creams. Please have your money ready when I get back.
-everyone gasps, traumatized-
L: Um… since all of you showed up, I'll let you guys take care of the bill.
D: I believe it's your turn, Ganondorf.
G: I ONLY HAVE $14!!
Z: -whispering to herself- : Let's see, there's Link, Navi, Me, Skullkid, Mido, Saria, Malon, Impa, Ruto, Nabooru, Darunia, Ganondorf, and Rauru. That's 13!! -shouts- HA!!! YOU SUCK GANON!! 13, YOU HAVE $1 LEFT! BEAT THAT!
Ganon: Who said it was $1 each?!
Z: -humiliated- Oh yeah... Hehe.
Saria: Zelda, calling you a pea brain would be an insult to peas!
E: Oh, um… I forgot to mention today was the free sample day so all you have to pay for are the extra scoops.
All: whew.
Z: HAHA, Saria!
E: Oh, my bad. I meant NEXT Thursday. Which brings your total to… $15.00!
Ganon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Impa: Aww, shoot! $1 off!
SK: That's okay. We'll give you an I.O.U. -cuts a piece of paper, writes IOU and draws Majora's Mask for the face-
L: Stupid Skullkid. I swear, you could be the fourth stooge.
E: LISTEN!! If none of you can pay, there's only one thing you can do.
SK: Rub your feet?
Z: Skullkid!! Your talking privileges have been revoked… AGAIN!!!
E: Each of you will leave, fetch me some milk -malon cries- , then wash ALL of the dishes.
Mido: Um… let's not and say we did.
E: Oh, I think we got a better job for you!
Mido: -gulp- I was—er, just joking… get it?... joke… hehe…
-1 hour later-
L: Don't you think we've worked enough for $1?
E: PLUS TAX!!!
L: ARGH!!!
Z: At least we don't have to do what Mido is doing. -looks out the window-
Mido -in background- : OW! STOP IT. THAT HURTS! CUT IT OUT! WAAAAAAA!
Ruto: Malon, you tree-hugging, animal loving pansy, stop crying and help us out!
Saria: Hey, trees are cool, you better shut up Ruto, you freak!
R: Oh yeah, whatcha gonna do?! Gonna beat me with a stick?! Gonna BARK at me? Why don't you just, LEAF!!!
S: What are you gonna do?! Sick a fish on me? -everybody is silent- Um, you're one slimy, cannabalian, fish! You sick, nasty… you… sick… FISH!!!
L: Girls, girls, calm down.
S: Y' know what Link? I'M SICK OF YOU!!!! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!! ALL THESE STUPID MEALS WERE YOUR IDEAS!!!
R: Yeah! Let's go guys. Let's let Link think about what he has done!
All: Fine, yeah. Okay.
SK: Who's lonely now!
L: Wait, guys! -sighs- I need some potatoes. Or cheese. Or both together.
-employee hands him a potato with cheese in a cone-
L: Here we go again.
Darunia: (about to walk out with the others) Wait Link, what're you doing?
L -in bathroom- : Oooooh. Here we go again. Here it comes!!
All: -run back inside- NO LINK!!!! -slow motion and deep voiced- NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! -BOOM-
L: -all black from explosion- um… hehe… anyone got a plunger?
M: WHEN WILL YOU EVER LEARN?! JEEZ! -deep breath- Okay you know what…. Link, we're sorry about all the trouble we've caused. To make it up to you, we're gonna--
SK: GET OUT FOR BREAKFAST!!!
All: AAAArgHgHgH!!!! -well, you know, they beat him up-
WiLl ThE zElDa ChArAcTeRs EvEr Go OuT tO bReAkFaSt AgAiN? WHaT hApPeNnEd To MiDo (well, we really don't care)? Is It TrUe ThAt AlL tHeSe IdEaS wErE lInK's? WiLl He EvEr LeArN tO sToP eAtInG pOtAtOeS? DOeS aNyOnE hAvE a PlUnGeR fOr HeAvEn SaKeS?!?! oH, iT sMeLlS iN hErE sO bAd! WhY? dOeS tHaT hAvE sOmEtHiNg To Do WiTh MaKiNg EaCh LeTtEr CaPiTaLiZeD?! wIlL tHeRe Be AnOtHeR ePiSoDe Of ThE mEaL hUmOrS? tHe AnSwErS wIlL bE rEaVeLeD sOoN. oR wIlL tHeY?