The Doctor raised a curious eyebrow as he stared at the TARDIS console. Ever since he had parted with Amy and Rory, the ship didn't seem like herself anymore. This sudden change had caused the Time Lord to drop any plans he had until he could get to the bottom of whatever bizarre ailment was affecting his beloved TARDIS.
He had spent two days tinkering around but he still couldn't figure out why she was making such a strange noise. The TARDIS had always made strange noises of all kinds, but that day she seemed particularly troubled. The Doctor wondered if, just like him, she also disliked the sudden silence that was now reigning in the ship.
The Doctor sighed and tried to appease his moody TARDIS by throwing various switches around the console. But the ship refused to cooperate.
"You're being unfairly temperamental lately, aren't you?" he said to no one in particular.
The Doctor realized that maybe the same could be said about him. Since he had found himself alone again, he had stopped travelling the universe, and resorted to staying inside and moping. But maybe it was for the best. He had lived long enough to know that, while time didn't heal all wounds, it certainly helped clear the mind and get it to work properly again. And maybe that's all the TARDIS would ever need to get back to normal. Time.
After pushing a few more buttons and throwing a switch, the Doctor poked his head outside the ship to take a look at where he was. He scratched his head curiously when he realized he was floating in space because, for the life of him, he couldn't remember getting there. Seemed like the TARDIS had resorted to tuning him out completely and just travelling wherever she saw fit.
"Fair enough" The Doctor said, closing the doors back. "Seems you want a holiday. Sometime away from Earth, eh? Might do us both good." He went over to the console to punch in coordinates. "How does the Tesov planet sound to you? We'd catch some lovely weather if we go in January. Those blizzards with falling piranhas are always a treat. Well, as long as I bring the lead umbrella."
A few button presses later, and the Doctor had his coordinates set. The TARDIS rumbled to life, albeit a bit annoyed, and they were on their way. But the Doctor knew it wouldn't be smooth sailing the second his ship began to fly them through the time vortex. Something was wrong, and the Time Lord was thrown to the side as the TARDIS twisted, turned, and sparks began to fly all around.
"I'm willing to admit that maybe the Tesov planet wasn't such a good idea" the Doctor yelled "if'll you please stop being so upset!"
But the TARDIS didn't relent, and the chaos continued, as the Doctor struggled to hold onto one of the bars surrounding the console. Alarms blared, and sparks continued to fly, but what the Time Lord found much more worrisome was the sudden sound of a crash. The surface-tearing sound was something he had only heard a few times before, and he had a hard time pin-pointing what it was.
Luckily, the chaos soon ended after the crash. The Doctor quickly got to his feet and assessed the damage. It looked rather bad as far as ship damage went, but nothing that his TARDIS couldn't regenerate. Easy peasy summer breezy. The Doctor was more curious where he had landed and what that particular and oh so familiar sound he had heard was. After checking to see if he still had his sonic screwdriver, the Time Lord pushed the doors to the TARDIS open. And promptly fell on his face.
It seemed that the ship had landed sideways, and the artificial gravity inside prevented him from taking notice. After getting back up and dusting himself off, the Doctor looked around. The ground was covered in sand.
The ship had landed in an alley during night time, a bit further away from what looked like a very busy street. As soon as he stepped away from the ship, the doors smacked closed, and the Doctor knew that the ship would start to regenerate whatever damage had been done. It seemed like he was stuck outside for the time being.
But the Doctor was enthralled by all the people who seemed to be running around, and he decided to see what all the fuss was about.
As soon as he left the alley, he found himself in the middle of a large area filled with stalls, vendors, customers, and all manner of alien creatures who all seemed excited to be part of such a large bazaar. When he looked upwards, he noticed that the entire area was covered by interconnecting glass domes, which was protecting them from the rain.
The Doctor suddenly realized that he had visited this planet before. He felt a smile creep up on his lips as he looked around him, at the sea of people, aliens, and variations thereof. There were all manner of stalls that sold anything from food to ship parts and things encased in resin that had no reason to exist at all. In the midst of all the clutter, the Doctor felt like he was only a speck, like he could get lost. And after parting with close friends, this was exactly what he needed.
The bazaar, even in its disarray seemed to have a flow of its own. Everyone seemed to be able to shop and look around without causing any distress, and the Doctor easily managed to lose himself in this organized chaos. He settled for sitting at a stall that sold a soup with a particularly alarming shade of purple. The Time Lord was about to pull out his psychic paper when he heard a commotion from nearby. He went over to investigate.
"... well I just think you're trying to rip me off" a female voice said.
The vendor she was talking to - a creature with scales similar to a snake - made a guttural sound.
The woman checked a devise she was holding. "Okay, that was either a hrrrlln of annoyance, or a hrrrlln of 'okay, I agree with you'. Don't suppose you could spontaneously start speaking English, could you?"
The Doctor stopped in his tracks when he got close enough to recognize the red outfit she was wearing.
He narrowed his eyes. "Soufflé girl?"
Oswin turned around, and a smile immediately appeared on her lips. "Chin-boy!" She broke into a chuckle. "We sound like the right bunch of superheroes, don't we? Chin-Boy and Soufflé-Girl!"
The Doctor was in a state of disbelief. "But how- how are you here?"
"Well I dunno about you, but I came here by ship. Didn't think there was any other way of traveling through space, really."
The Doctor couldn't shake the bizarre feeling he was having. "But...you were a Dalek."
"Oy" Oswin said, looking a bit offended, "now I know I've been stuck in a ship for over a year, but I doubt I look as bad as those little robots."
"What I meant to say was that I can't believe you're here. Last I saw you your ship was inactive."
"Well it still kind of is now. Funny how I managed to crash the ship here the second I repair it."
The Doctor rubbed his chin, thinking. Something wasn't adding up. "Oswin, what exactly do you remember from our last meeting?"
"Your memory slipping, Doctor?"
"No, no, just trying to figure out how we both ended up crashing our ships on this exact satellite." The Doctor then added to himself: "And at this exact time..."
"Well, last I remembered I helped you, that red-head, and your dishy friend Rory escape the Asylum. And then when you were supposed to come rescue me, all of you lot just disappeared. I was quite cross with you for a while, but then I ended up pulling the ship apart, looking for a way to restore it."
"And you managed to fix your ship? Just like that?"
"What can I say." Oswin shrugged. "Being a genius with computers tends to help with that kind of stuff." She paused. "Except I'm not sure exactly where I am..."
The Doctor broke in a smile.
"Don't look at me like that" Oswin said, "I told you I was genius with computers, not a geographer. So where are we anyway?"
"This, my dear Oswin" he said, "is Niabb, the third moon of the planet Spite. Also known as the second largest bazaar in the galaxy."
"You mean we're in one of the largest malls in the galaxy and I forgot to bring shopping bags?"
"It's quite the struck of luck that you managed to end up here. You can find virtually anything you'd want on this mood."
Oswin looked at the devise in her hand. "Shame my translator doesn't seem to want to cooperate."
"Well" the Doctor said, "that's because you're trying to barter with a soldier of Niabb. They're not allowed to talk to women of any race."
"Well that's just not true. He was growling all sorts before you came along."
The Doctor lowered his voice. "Actually, he was crying."
Oswin's eyes widened. "I made a soldier cry? I didn't mean to do that. How can I tell him that I'm sorry?"
"I think it's best if we left him alone now" The Doctor said, placing an arm around her shoulders and directing her away.
As soon as they were a considerable distance away from the salesman, the Doctor surreptitiously began to scan Oswin with his sonic screwdriver. But she caught on pretty quickly.
"Are you seriously trying to scan me with that glow stick?" she asked.
"Sonic screwdriver, actually."
"Why would a screwdriver need to be sonic?"
"Why wouldn't it? The universe could be a much more efficient place if everything was sonic, don't you think?"
"What are you scanning me for anyway?"
The Doctor frowned when the scan came out empty. The screwdriver hadn't picked up anything wrong with Oswin. She seemed like a perfectly normal human being. But it didn't make sense why she was right there next to him when he had seen her as a Dalek mere weeks before. Unless...
"Oswin, what exactly do you remember about your crash here?"
She shrugged. "I dunno. It was rather normal as far as crashes go."
"But you didn't happen to hear a specific sound – a sound like a thick piece of fabric tearing right next to your ear?"
Oswin thought for a moment. "Well, I didn't think much of it since I woke up upside-down, hanging from a security belt... but yeah, actually, I heard something like that right before I landed here "
The Doctor snapped his fingers. "I knew it! I knew it the second I landed here, but didn't think it was possible for it to happen again!"
Oswin looked at him like he was a mad man. "What're you on about?"
"Isn't it obvious?" the Doctor asked, looking enthusiastic. "We're in a parallel universe!"
"A parallel universe? Doctor, that's just bonkers. Have you looked up the definition of parallel recently?"
"Yes, yes, I know that no one is supposed to travel to a parallel universe, but it turns out that it is very much possible. I've done it myself quite a few years ago. By accident, but it still counts."
"Really" Oswin said unconvinced, "so then how is this impossible parallel world you visited?"
"Full of zeppelins and crazy devises people attached to their ears – not all that pleasant, actually – but! Oh, was it ever an exciting place to visit. All manner of impossible things happen here. Anything. Absolutely unpredictable."
"Well I still think you're bonkers" Oswin said, though getting slightly infected by the Doctor's enthusiastic disposition.
"That's because you haven't looked around yet." The Time Lord gestured at the edge of the glass dome that encapsulated the area they were in. "Have you noticed that it's raining?"
Oswin narrowed her eyes to take a better look. "Well I didn't think rain was a sign of a parallel universe. Now I feel like my whole life has been a lie."
"Take a closer look" the Doctor instructed.
Though skeptical at first, Oswin obliged. She looked around, trying to spot what the curious man with the glowy screwdriver was seeing. Her eyes widened the second she realized what the Doctor was talking about. She couldn't believe what she was seeing.
"...it's raining upside-down."
"Bingo!"
"Is it, though? Is it really, properly raining upside-down? Maybe it's just a feature to attract the tourists."
"There's no need for such a thing. Just look around you: Niabb is constantly crowded by people willing to spend their money."
"Oh, this is just mad" Oswin said with a smile. "What else? What other signs point towards a parallel universe?"
"Other than the fact that it's pouring rain on a moon that's entirely covered in sand? Well, let's the vendors."
"This isn't going to cause another one of them to run off crying, will it?"
The Doctor stopped for a second. "Just to be on the safe side, why don't you stand back and observe for now?"
"Look, don't touch?" Oswin asked, sticking out her lower lip. "Well that's no fun."
"Oh I have a feeling you're going to love this next bit."
Oswin arched a curious eyebrow when the Doctor headed towards a human vendor who was selling boring looking decorative pots. The man himself also looked completely ordinary.
"Excuse me" the Doctor said, "could I take a closer look at that particular pot over there?" He pointed vaguely at the vendor's right. As soon as the man obliged, the Time Lord gave Oswin a meaningful watch this look. The Doctor made a show of looking at the pot as if analyzing a valuable object, and made several 'hmm's with various inflections, causing Oswin to smile despite herself.
"You know, I'm not convinced that this was one hundred percent locally made" the Doctor said. "I don't suppose you could be so kind as to verify this seal for me?"
"Not at all, sir" the man said. The salesman used one hand to press on his right forearm. His forearm instantly opened like a lid, revealing a complex circuitry.
Oswin's eyes bugged, and she looked with fascination as the man hovered his hand over the circuitry until a minimalistic keyboard display appeared. He typed something into it and then scanned the seal on the pot.
"And there you have it, sir" the salesman said, as soon as a hologram of a certificate written in an alien language replaced the keyboard.
"Thank you very much" the Doctor said, as he left a few coins fall into the man's hand.
Oswin was still in a state of disbelief when the Time Lord rejoined her to walk through the bazaar.
"So every human looking vendor on this moon is actually a cyborg?" she asked.
"I think they'd prefer to be called bio electronic humanoids."
"But are they?"
"I actually have no clue. We're in a parallel universe, so everything I thought I knew about a planet can and probably will turn out to be wrong."
"But you knew that the vendor was a robot."
A smile appeared on the Doctor's lips. "I actually saw someone else do that and thought I'd give it a try myself."
"Wait, so then you have no more knowledge about this bizarre place than me."
"And that's why I love parallel worlds. So unpredictable! So many new things to find and see." The Doctor grinned and handed Oswin the pot.
The girl looked at it and her nose crinkled. "This is one ugly pot."
"Oy" the Doctor said, frowning. He paused to look at it. "Actually, you're right. But you never know when a distasteful looking decorative pot could come in handy."
"So if we're in a parallel world, how exactly did we get here? I mean I know it was only my second time flying the ship, but I doubt I managed to crash it right through the fabric of time."
The Doctor pressed his lips together to hide his impending smile. "Well..."
"That better not be a joke about women drivers, Doctor."
He immediately put his serious face on. "No, of course not. Now let's get going."
"Where, exactly? I'll probably be stuck here until I can get my translator to work properly."
"No need for that, because I've got the best translator in the universe right on my ship. Actually, it is the ship."
"Now you're just pulling my leg."
"No, no, all we need to do is get you onboard so that the TARDIS knows to make the connection and start translating for you."
"Is this the part where we're supposed to compare whose ship is better? Because, crash damage aside, mine has an actual entertainment room. With a dart board and everything."
The Doctor smiled inwardly as he led Oswin through the busy streets. They weren't far away now, just a few twists and turns. The Doctor rounded a couple of more corner turns towards the alley where the TARDIS was. When he was finally there, he hanged back to let Oswin take a look at... an empty space.
"Wow" Oswin said, looking in awe. "That is one impressive invisibility cloak, I'll give you that."
"... what?" the Doctor said, frowning.
"Maybe a little too impressive?"
"My ship was supposed to be right here" the Doctor said, pawing at the empty space "I left it here only a few minutes ago, how can it be gone?"
"You think someone must have stolen it for parts?"
"How could have this have happened? And the poor thing was regenerating..."
Oswin frowned. "It was what?"
"Regenerating" he said, "it was damaged after the crash and had to rebuilt itself." The Doctor sighed. "And to think, until a few seconds ago my biggest fear was that the console room would redesign itself again."
Oswin looked around. "I'm sure there are some kind of officers of the law nearby who can sort this out. Let's go find 'em."
Since the Doctor couldn't stop staring at the empty space where the TARDIS had been, Oswin came over by his side and dragged him by the elbow.
"Well come on then" she said, leading him away, "pulling the puppy dog eyes won't solve anything. Well, it could, but it won't bring your ship back unless the one who stole it is a very impressionable 8 year old."
"You think a child could have taken my ship?" the Time Lord asked, frowning.
Oswin smiled "Parallel universe, remember, Doctor? Anything can happen."
Despite not locating any police officers among the chaotic movements and variations of aliens ambling about, the Doctor decided to just ask whatever salesmen looked most savvy. When Oswin argued that it would take them forever to get any useful information, the Time Lord countered that she shouldn't worry because this had happened before.
"You seriously need to think of installing an anti-theft device on that TARDIS of yours" Oswin said.
"But it's virtually indestructible. I shouldn't have to worry about people just... using a trolley to steal it." The Time Lord stopped in front of a stall with various ship parts on display. "Excuse me, have you seen a big blue wooden box anywhere?"
"Ah, one with little windows at the top and sign in the front?"
"Yes, exactly! Where have you seen it?"
The salesman pointed in the distance, behind the Doctor. "Right there."
Both him and Oswin turned around and noticed that the TARDIS had been placed onto a platform and it was surrounded by humanoids dressed in uniform.
"That is one wee little ship, Doctor" Oswin said, amused.
"Oy, I'll have you know that it's more than meets the eye."
"Well, either way, seems it's getting a lot of attention" she said, as they walked towards it, "don't suppose that could be a good thing?"
"It won't matter because the second we walk in there, I can just fly us out of this predicament."
The moment they got close enough, they noticed that the TARDIS had thick chains and padlocks surrounding it.
"... or not." The Doctor walked over to one of the uniforms. "Excuse me, why is that box kept locked up?"
"Our readings show that this device contains all manner of advanced technology, which could prove dangerous."
"Ah, well, that's where you're wrong. That's actually my ship and it's in no way dangerous when it's just standing there. I mean just look how harmless it is. Like a puppy dog."
The uniform turned to the Doctor with a grave expression. "That is your ship, sir?"
Oswin leaned in. "He thinks it's better than mine, but frankly, I don't really see it."
The Doctor gently moved Oswin out of the way. "Yes, it is mine, and I'd very much like to have it back."
"The laws of Niabb state that entering the moon's atmosphere with this level of advanced technology is forbidden" the uniform said.
"Well, that little tidbit must have slipped my mind, but we'll be on our way and out of your hair in just a second if-"
"Breaking the Niabb law is a serious affair, sir."
The Doctor knew they were in trouble the moment the other uniforms began to advance towards them.
"I still don't see why they put me in here as well" Oswin said, inspecting the lasers that were surrounding their cell. "Are they going by mafia rules: your family, your friends, everyone has to pay?"
"Don't worry" the Doctor said "all of this is temporary."
"Well they took everything, including my tool belt that could have got us out of here. So I think temporary just extended to foreseeable future."
"I wouldn't say that they took everything." The Doctor smiled as he revealed that he still had the sonic screwdriver. "So what were you saying about screwdrivers not needing to be sonic?"
A/N: After being a DW fan for years I finally decided to write a story for this show. Whether I succeeded in writing a proper one or not, well, that's up to you people to tell me. I'll be awaiting comments or rotten tomatoes (depending on the case). Thank you for reading!