21:42
She's leaving tomorrow. She's leaving tomorrow! He fumed to himself, angrily pacing his living area. He hadn't changed out of his uniform. He couldn't sit still. The whole day he'd spent on edge. Every briefing, every order, everything was in a haze. He didn't feel quite like himself. All he could think about was the fact that this was her last day. Strangely, that didn't cause him to seek out her company, cherish every last minute. No, it drove him to seclusion, avoidance. What's new? Always the eleventh hour and the fifty-ninth minute… The only time that technique had really worked was with exam preparation. I have to tell her how I feel. She knows already. She has to know. How could she not? Kesprytt had laid everything bare. The implants had stripped him of all pretenses – not that there was much to strip in the first place. She knew. She had to. But still, even though she knew, he'd never said it. Yes, he'd confirmed her conclusion out loud but the actual words – they had never been spoken. But he'd told her. He'd told her in a thousand ways ever since they had met. He told her when he didn't say anything to ruin the happiness that she and Jack had. He'd told her when he needed her. He'd told her with a thousand looks and glances. He'd told her with that reassuring hand on the small of her back as he'd been her escort at a myriad of official Starfleet functions. Yes, he'd told her, but he'd never truly said those three words – not that three would have been nearly enough. That's it, dammit. If I don't SAY now, she'll leave and I'll end up regretting never saying anything. You've lived with too many regrets for too long – let's not add to that harrowing list.
The doors to his cabin hissed shut. With every step towards her cabin door, his uniform collar felt tighter and tighter like a noose ready to cut off his last breath of oxygen. The gait that started off as assertive slowly morphed into a limp. 2 more feet. 1 more foot. In sensor range. Hiss. Open.
The room was dimly lit – unsurprising due to the hour. Suitcases were strewn on the floor. For a woman as proactive and thoughtful as Beverly, the fact that she didn't already have her belongings packed and laid ready by the door was, to say the least, a tad shocking.
"Hello, who is it?" A melodic tone asked from the adjacent room.
Really, Jean Luc do speak up, its rude to just stand in her living area like a complete wanker… But somehow, the impulses from the brain to he laryngeal muscles just weren't communicating. He rubbed his head in frustration. God, if I have trouble finding the words in the solitude of her empty living room, Heaven help me when I'm standing face to face with her.
"Dee, I told you that I didn't need… Jean-Luc…"
He looked at her. Her red hair lay long around her shoulders, with her fringe brushed sideways out of her eyes. A stray piece of auburn silk obfuscated her left eye. He couldn't help but stare. She donned an old t-shirt and a pair of old pajama shorts. Unremarkable clothing on anyone else, but on Beverly it was as an evening gown. Unabashedly, his gaze moved to her legs. He never got to see them out of uniform. Beautiful. Long and chiseled, just like he always imagined them to be. Only, his fantasies could never live up to what he saw in the flesh. The air had left his lungs long ago.
COME ON, JEAN LUC! Really, this is getting a little much. Say something. SAY SOMETHING.
"Beverly… I, eh," he tore his gaze away from her and turned it to the floor. The eloquent linguist, Jean Luc Picard was now utterly tongue-tied.
She moved towards him, stepping over piles of clothing. "Jean Luc, what is it?"
He stood a few inches taller than her, but she gently lifted his gaze to meet her own. Sheepishly, his pupils fixed on hers. Suddenly, the switch flipped and impulses were travelling faster than the speed of light. Words, actual words became an option.
"Beverly, please don't go." She stepped back, folding her arms as she did so.
Her voice took on a sterner tone, "why Jean-Luc, why shouldn't I leave?"
Oh Goodness, please don't ask me to say it. I know I came here to say it. I completely prepared myself for this moment. Just say it. Just say those three trite little words and… well… just say it or she'll leave and you'll continue this angst-ridden, completely unfulfilling relationship leaving you both completely unsatisfied only now she'll be halfway across the galaxy and you'll grow into a grouchier, more generally intolerable person than you already are.
Right, I'm going to say it, "you can't leave because, you can't". Really? Really? Come on Johnny, you can do better than that.
"Really Jean Luc? 'I can't leave because I can't'?" She began incredulously, "well I'll tell you what! I certainly can leave! Leaving is exactly what I'm doing! You can't just…"
She's yelling at me. She's resurrected that old Howard temper that I have often been on the receiving line of. I know I should most certainly be utterly focused on what she's saying. I should be coming up with a clever, irrefutable rebuttal that will stop her in her tracks and make her see my way. But, all I can focus is on her lips. How long I've wanted to kiss them. I look at them every day. I've felt them, touched them with my own in my dreams. I've felt them on my neck, as she loves he in return. Oh hell!
With one swift movement, he ran his hands through her hair and pulled her to him before she could register what had happened. Her body went rigid and then quickly yielded to his touch. She opened her mouth to him as he entered her mouth with his tongue. Kissing her was better than he had dreamed. Kissing her was the answer to every one of life's horrible little conundrums. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer until there was no space left between them. Soon, the urge to breath, sadly, became greater than the urge to kiss. He pulled away slowly and rested his forehead against hers. Her breast heaved against his as she regained her breath.
"I came to tell you that you utterly, most certainly cannot leave because… I Love you. Yes, I came to utter the most trite, overused words in the English language because I can't let you leave tomorrow. .. I can't let you get on that shuttle without having said them to you. After all these years, I needed to remove all doubt," he smiled.
The most radiant smile lifted from the corners of Beverly's mouth. A contented chuckle followed suite, "Really, Jean Luc, 27 years for three words? Come now, I would have expected more from you," she jested. Oh thank God, I would have looked like such a complete and utter spa if I done this and she no longer felt the same way. He laughed, his chest rumbling against hers in contentment as he pulled her into himself once more, savoring in the ability to do so. Pulling apart she whispered into his ear, "I changed my mind". What? After all this she's changed her mind-"I'm not leaving. I love you".
