Warnings: Suicide

The more Carl thought about it, the more tears begged for outrance. He was holding them all; although he knew he couldn't be holding them forever.
The group had reunited once again, like it always happens. They had to leave the prison because the Governor attacked them. They escaped, and they survived; together.
They had succesfully managed a tiny camp in the middle of the road with cars around them to stop the walkers from making their unannounced visits. He was the only one awake though.
"How many times will I have to do this?" He questioned himself. Running away. That's everything he ever did.
"When I think I'm safe, that's when I'm not" He kept repeating. Saying it out loud was not enough. Hershel always said there was a reason for this world to be like this. And now he was dead, just like everyone he loved; his mom, his baby sister, his friends, and his boyfriend.
Carl slowly looked up to the sky where he thought Hershel could listen to him. "I still can't figure out the reason" He said.
"Does it even matter?" He mumbled. He was too cold; he didn't even care if his words came out wrong of not; he wasn't talking to anyone in particular who could listen.
He took the bloody cover he had found in one of the cars and stood up; trying not to wake everybody up. He started walking; deep into the forest. He had a gun with him.
While he was walking he kept talking to himself; "Why do I need to keep on fighting? I don't need to survive if I'm going to die anyway. Is there a goal? Is there somthing I'm fighting for?"
He stopped walking and looked back; he couln't see the group anymore, and he thought it was a good place.
He sat in the woods, just where he was standing. "I could handle my mom dying; it was going to happen anyway. But him? Why him?" He asked to no one in particular again.
"If I kept on fighting was for him. Because I thought we could still have a life together. That was my goal"
He couldn't listen to any footsteps; which meant there weren't any walkers around. It was practically impossible for them to see him beacuse of how dark it was.
He took his gun out and looked at it for one last time. He touched the trigger gently; applying more strenght when he thought it was the right time. He shot it.
"I miss you" Carl said, letting out the first tear he was holding up. "So badly".
The silence was killing him. Why was everything so quiet?
He shot again.
"I don't want to keep on fighting if there's no one I want to fight for" Carl whispered. "I want to see you again. And there's only one way I can do that" He said; crying.
This time he didn't hear the silence. He heard some footsteps getting closer to him. Followed by another; and another.
The night was dark; but when something was close, he could see it. And he could definately see a big heard of zombies around him. It reminded him of the day at the camp when Amy died. And also to the day they had to leave Hershel's farm.
He would've normally been scared by this; but he wasn't. He knew what was going to happen. He wanted it to happen. If Patrick wasn't there, there was no reason for Carl to be.
"See you soon" Carl whispered.
"I love you"