You all know me by name, Harry Potter, the famous Harry Potter who made You-Know-Who disappear. Yes, you all know that, but you don't know me. Hermione gave me this diary this summer, she said, in hopes that it would do me some good to write out my "anger" since....since Sirius disappeared. I know exactly what you're thinking! Don't pretend you aren't...you're thinking "Poor ickle Harry Potter, still in denial that his one and only living godfather is now Dead." He's not dead! Do you hear me? He's. Not. Dead.
Funny, isn't it? How..how you can look back on a memory or picture with someone you love and realize that you had no idea something bad was to happen to you in just a few months short time. Professor Trelawney once told me that, well that people could sense when death was coming, like they would just wake up one day and have a feeling that they aren't going to be around much longer whether it be a few days, or hours, or even minutes. Could Sirius sense that? Or do you dare to even think...that my parents could? Funny though, whenever I have fought with Voldemort.whenever I was doing something dangerous I never felt that I wouldnt come out of it alive. I never felt fear that I would never see Ron or Hermione or anyone again.
It's not fair! It's NOT fair that THEY had to die and I didn't! Why wasn't it me? Don't you see you stupid journal? Its MY fault they've died, its MY fault. Don't give me that look and tell me it's not. My parents died because of ME, because of a stupid prophecy that Voldemort believed. It was I who caused their death; it was ME that made him want to kill them! And it was me that caused Sirius to die. If I had just listened, if I had just stayed at Hogwarts he wouldn't have come after me and he would still be here today. I shouldn't have believed that stupid elf, I hope he dies. If I...if I...I took that mirror Sirius gave me, and I sat in bed for hours calling his name. First, it started off ok "Sirius? Sirius, come in, are you there Sirius?" But no one answers, not that I expected one to, but rather hoped. Then it got worse, I got angry and I couldn't control my emotions anymore, between yelling and holding back my own tears "SIRIUS! You bastard! Come in Sirius! Come back..." but he never did and I threw that stupid mirror. WHY? Why did he come after me? I'm not worth it Sirius! Do you hear me? I'm not worth dying for!
God. This is stupid....
(Authors Note: I'm disappointed really because this is not how I imagined my story would look like once it was out there on ff.net. It's not spaced and since this is my first time posting on fanfiction.net if anyone could offer me some helpful hints? Like how to get it to space paragraphs, italics, bolds, underlines and the such, it would be really appreciated. Thanks!)