Author's Note: Hi, people! So this is my attempt on a bit of humor, I guess. As said, Elijah arrives at home on a Friday evening to find that his plans of a quiet evening have been forcefully replaced by chaos and mayhem. Will be a few chapters long, I presume.

Chapter One: Surprise!

Elijah felt good as he sat into his car, ready to go home. He'd loaded a cooler with enough blood to last for a while into the trunk, it was Friday – thank heavens – and he couldn't wait to throw himself onto a bed, sink his tired face into the cool fabric of his pillow and forget about the world. Maybe he'd even award himself with a glass of good Irish whiskey and drift to sleep watching late night television…

He glanced at his wristwatch. It was almost ten. He sighed as he turned on the engine, already dreaming of the long desired peace and quiet of his room. This hellish week was finally behind him.

Or not… As Elijah learned – or rather was brutally reminded of – that night: one should not cheer prematurely.

He had barely turned on the right street when he already heard the muffled sound of music, the violent bass beat making his insides jump, and that was when he first suspected that his night might not proceed as he had planned. Somehow he just knew that the racket could be coming from only one certain house, sadly the one happened to be his destination.

As he pulled in front of the mansion, a deep frown on his face, he got the sick feeling he may have gotten lost in some bad high school movie and for a while only one thought occupied his mind: what the hell was going on here?

From the close proximity the horrible choice of music sounded almost unbearable. He quickly spotted that the front door was hanging wide open, a whole gang of people crowding the driveway, cars parked seemingly randomly, and he could have sworn that the guy leaning against the wall for support was in the middle of throwing up.

Elijah was a patient man, very patient judging by the many occasions people – mostly his family – had tested his limits. So what he didn't do was get out of the car throwing his hands up in a fit of anger and demand explanations right there and then. Instead he backed up and parked the car on the street since there was simply no free space anywhere else.

He killed the engine, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. He had half a mind to turn it right back on and find a hotel to spend the night, but knowing his siblings, someone had to keep an eye on things to not get too out of control, otherwise, he was sure, there would be nothing left of the house by the morning or – god forbid – he'd have a bunch of dead bodies to deal with.

Elijah locked his car and started walking back towards the mansion, smoothing his suit jacket as he tried to keep calm. He would not cause a scene… not tonight. But whoever initiated this party or whatever such a thing should be called – either Kol or Rebekah would be a safe bet – was in for a very unpleasant conversation tomorrow.

People on the driveway eyed Elijah with raised brows and surprised stares as he made his way to the house. By the look of them, they must have been high school students, he concluded, and this was evidently no event for suits and ties, he got that too.

He looked around to find anyone he actually knew but thus far came up blank. The young faces around him remained unfamiliar, no sign of his mischievous siblings.

Elijah entered the mansion, annoyed that he had to squeeze past people, who gave him looks as if they had the right to be there. Arrogant teenagers, damn them. He soon discovered that inside the house the situation was not any better, in fact it was worse.

Everywhere he looked there were people – dancing , singing, drinking, talking, shouting, smoking, partying people. The sight of what could only be described as a disaster waiting to happen.

He felt anger boiling inside him as he watched them slowly destroying his home. Where was Klaus with his 'I just finished renovating' speech? Where were Rebekah and Kol? And most of all – who invited all those people here? He was about ready to strangle the one responsible.

However furious Elijah felt, he managed to suppress any murderous thoughts. No reason to get mad about such small matters compared to the problems he had been dealing with for a long, long time.

For a second Elijah contemplated whether to demand their 'guests' to leave, but figured it would take him forever to usher them all out of the house as they were so obviously in no hurry to get away. They were having fun and their fun was giving him a headache.

Elijah sighed heavily and decided to deal with the whole ordeal in the morning when the crowds had hopefully vanished and left behind a wrecked house. Of course, granted he'd have the chance to get some sleep in all this commotion which was yet to be determined.

Upstairs the volume of music was slightly more tolerable, but even the corridors had unfortunately not been spared of invading teenagers making out with each other. Ugh.

The door to Elijah's room was thankfully shut. He pushed down the handle and stepped into his domain, his hand reaching out for the light switch when a rustling noise surprised him. With the music so loud, his enhanced hearing was more of a nuisance than help.

Then a voice called out from the darkness of his room. "Hey, man, get outta here! Kinda busy, you know."

Elijah just stood there, dumbfounded for the time being, squinting to see the creature who dared to invade his room. For some reason he found himself reluctant to turn on the light.

Damn teenagers, he cursed in his mind for the umpteenth time as he stepped to the side to free the doorway. He raised his hand in a – what he saw as – undeservedly polite gesture, motioning towards the exit.

"I advise you to leave at once," he said calmly, pursing his lips in annoyance.

His voice must have commanded enough authority to make the lost boy understand that this was no joke. In a matter of seconds he heard movement, accompanied by quiet mutters of at least two people, and soon a pair of scantily dressed high schoolers appeared before him, their eyes lowered and their faces red as they snuck by him, the girl whispering a half-hearted "sorry".

Elijah ignored the urge to compel them to never drink again, or maybe think of some other form of punishment. Though the never drinking part might turn out to be a blessing where their futures were concerned… No, why bother anyway? He just wanted them gone.

He closed the door behind him and finally risked his already worn out nerves by switching on the light. The sight was not pleasing, he had to admit – his bed was a mess and the floor was littered with a half-empty bottle of rum and a few articles of clothing they clearly hadn't been able to locate in the dark.

So Elijah did the only thing he could do. He set the bottle on the shelf, threw the clothes to the corridor – they'd find them there if they cared enough to come looking, it was hardly his concern to begin with – and stripped the bed from the sheets to replace them with clean ones.

He moved silently and swiftly making his room – his safe haven – habitable again, though he couldn't stop himself from feeling repulsed and resentful towards the invaders. Can't a man have any privacy even in his own home?

That all brought him back to the main issue: the party that was raging downstairs, which he couldn't forget for a moment due to the inhumanly loud music that seeped through even the thickest of walls.

In mere fifteen minutes his room had been transformed back into what it had been when he'd left it – immaculate and undisturbed. He gave a last sweep of his hand to the covers of his bed to smooth out the remaining wrinkles and when he stretched himself, his gaze travelling around the room, he found himself satisfied with its condition.

What to do now?

Elijah sat on the edge of his bed, looking around quite aimlessly. There was no way he could enjoy the evening with this mayhem outside his door. He lied down on his back, loosening his tie – but only slightly. They had 'quests' after all, he thought chuckling darkly. Closing his eyes, he tried to search for some resemblance of peace, but his head was throbbing of all the noise from downstairs. The music, the tens and tens of ongoing conversations, the chipper shouts and irritating giggles, sounds of bottles clinking together and cups being filled. Sometimes he really hated how immature his siblings could be.

Suddenly, he sprang back up to a sitting position. He couldn't rest, not like this. Instead Elijah retrieved a tumbler and filled it with whiskey. Up to the very rim of the glass. He figured he deserved every sip for putting up with this madness.

He stood by the window for a long while, sipping his drink and watching the havoc going on in the backyard.

Honestly, it was oddly, morbidly amusing to see what youth had become, he mulled as he witnessed a crowd of people who had gathered around two girls who seemed to be readying themselves for a battle of sorts. It was ridiculous seeing the two disheveled girls with runny make up, both holding a cup – with alcohol, no doubt, in it – and screaming profanities at each other. Then, not ten minutes later, they apparently reached some sort of agreement, as they embraced each other, both crying by now. Even more incredible, perhaps, was the reaction of the crowd around them that seemed to collectively sigh in disappointment before disbanding, doubtlessly to search for some new and more interesting drama.

Was this really the sort of entertainment his siblings were drawn to?

He didn't know… Mainly because his younger brother and sister had been boxed up for almost a century and he'd been running from his insane remaining brother, both plotting the other's murder. There really wasn't a therapist in the world who could take on this family…

Elijah took another sip discovering that his glass had become empty. His mind, on the other hand, felt much more at ease and tension had left his body. Alcohol truly had its uses, he mused, pouring himself another glass. Maybe he ought to join the party after all, even if only to find the sibling he had every right to strangle tomorrow…

As it happens, no other characters appeared in the first chap, but some of them will be in the next one. Let me know what you think.