this is everything i believe realistically happened after the brittana scenes in 4x22 and before dantana became a couple the next season. this is just to fill the blank between season 4 and season 5 and add more depth to my favorite on screen romance. if ryan murphy won't do it then allow me.
The private wedding ceremony had just come to an end and Brittany felt exhausted and completely drained after the week she's had. She tried to put on a brave face all day but the realization that her entire life was about to change hit her and it hit her hard.
She was aware she had to pack up her stuff that night so she could head to MIT the next morning but, as much as she tried to convince herself, she just wasn't ready and was utterly terrified of what lied ahead.
Knowing she had to face her future on her own without her friends by her side, without her best friend by her side, was just a lot to take in, especially in such a short period of time.
Brittany wanted comfort. She wanted someone to comfort her and give her the strength she needed to go through with this big change. She didn't want to ask for comfort though. It felt silly after her speech. She wanted to leave, confidently, on a high note, but she also wanted someone to give her a sign that she would be okay.
And she knew who she wanted that someone to be.
/
"You okay?"
Brittany was suddenly broken out of her thoughts by Santana's voice, her tone as gentle and caring as ever, her eyes filled with nothing but genuine concern.
"I'm fine," Brittany replied, managing a smile. "I'm just... scared."
Santana let out a sigh and sat down beside her in the empty choir room. The others were celebrating at Breadstix but the former cheerleaders decided to hang back for a bit, per Santana's request.
"Britt," Santana grabbed a hold of the blonde's hand, placing it on her lap. "You have nothing to be afraid of. You are going to own that school. You have no idea how proud I am."
"But…" Brittany momentarily stopped, seemingly trying to work out her thought process. "Remember when you came back and told me about how scary it is out there in the real world? How is it gonna be any different for me?"
"It will be because you are different."
"What?"
Santana took a moment, thinking about how she could phrase what she was trying to get across.
"Britt, you're the reason I went to New York in the first place. I wouldn't have had the courage to do anything after dropping out of college if it weren't for you," Brittany went to protest that statement but Santana didn't allow her to. "No, it's my turn now." Brittany nodded, allowing Santana to continue.
"It is scary out there. I'd be lying if I said it isn't. But you should just tell yourself what you would normally tell me. You need to be somewhere that's as big and as hot as you are. And right now, MIT is that place for you. You're ready, I know you are," Santana claimed, giving Brittany a squeeze of the hand in the process. "And if you really prepare yourself, the world won't seem like such a scary place. You know who said that?"
"Michelle Obama?"
"No," Santana snorted, shaking her head at the fact that even being a mathematical genius could not change Brittany. Nothing could. And Santana was happy with that. "You did."
Brittany's smile could've lit up an entire room. She really couldn't help herself as she lunged at Santana, wrapping her up in a tight embrace.
"Thank you," Brittany said, clearly holding back tears. "I missed you so much."
"I missed you too," Santana stated, holding onto Brittany as hard as she could. She was practically clinging to the blonde as if she were her lifeline. "I'll always be there for you just like you have been all my life."
They stayed that way for a while, properly enjoying each other's presence and touch after having been deprived of such for so long, content with the comfortable silence between them.
"We should probably get going," Santana eventually broke the silence, hesitantly pulling away from the hug. "I'll text the others telling them we can't make it to Breadstix because we have to go pack your stuff for your early flight tomorrow."
Brittany's happy facial expression morphed into one of both sadness and understanding. She didn't want to snap back to reality. She was happy just the way she was with Santana.
But she also knew these things don't last forever. She had to learn that the hard way.
It was time to really move on. For both of them.
/
The former couple was back in Brittany's room for the first time since before Santana went off to college, before everything changed.
"I don't think they allow cats at college, Britt."
"But I don't want to leave Lord Tubbington all alone here."
Santana smiled. She thought of Brittany's childlike innocence and how happy it made her. How it could make the worst day imaginable bearable, enjoyable even. She didn't want her way with things to go away. Not ever.
"I'll tell you what," Santana sighed, struggling as she went to pick up Lord Tubbington. "I can take him to New York with me."
"What?" Brittany's features softened. "You would do that for me?"
Santana desperately tried to ignore that fluttering feeling in her stomach Brittany could give her just by existing. But she couldn't prevent her cheeks from blushing at the sound of the blonde's voice.
"Yeah, of course. I'm sure grandma Berry and lady Hummel wouldn't mind another addition to the loft," They actually might but they'll just have to learn to get used to it. For Brittany. "Hey, I can even take over your melted cheese show for the time being."
"Really?" Brittany jumped up to her feet in joy and excitement. "I thought you said it was ridiculous?"
"Nothing you say or do is ridiculous, Britt."
The things Santana was willing to do for Brittany. She knew she wouldn't get to hear a lot from her or even see her during her time at MIT. So, Santana figured having a piece of Brittany with her while she missed her like crazy would help.
This situation was making her feel guilty all over again for not having been able to give Brittany the attention she needed at the start of the year, ultimately leading to their break up.
"What's wrong?" Brittany questioned, noticing the way the expression on Santana's face changed.
"Nothing." Santana forced a smile but Brittany saw right through her, like she always had.
"Can I ask you a question?" Brittany asked, getting a nod in return. "Why haven't you dated anyone since we broke up?"
Santana briefly went silent but then went to answer as soon as she recovered, "What makes you think I haven't?"
"I know you."
"I just haven't found anyone, that's all." Santana replied, looking away in the process.
"Santana, look at me," Brittany called out to her, making Santana feel forced to do so. "Is it because of me?"
No answer.
But Brittany didn't need one. Santana's silence spoke for itself.
A few minutes of silence passed until, "You should go to sleep, Britt. I can finish packing up your stuff."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, you need to get some rest, you've had a long day," Brittany hesitated, biting her bottom lip, until Santana added, "Don't think I didn't notice you yawning once every few minutes, okay? You need to sleep."
Brittany finally nodded in defeat, going to lay on her bed as Lord Tubbington made himself comfortable by her side. "When did you turn into a top?" Brittany asked under her breath before closing her eyes, earning herself a light chuckle from Santana.
It took a total of 15 more minutes for Santana to pack up the rest of Brittany's stuff. As she finished doing so, she switched the light off and went to sneak out the door, but not before placing a gentle kiss on the forehead of the seemingly asleep blonde.
"Santana?"
"Jesus, Brittany," Santana let out a small yelp due to being startled by Brittany when she was halfway out the door. "You scared the shit out of me. What is it?"
"Can you hold me?"
"Britt…"
"Please?"
Santana sighed. Damn her inability to say no to Brittany.
"Okay."
So, Santana went to lay down next to Brittany, and just as the first bite of cold wind crept under Brittany's shirt, Santana's hand moved around the blonde's middle, warm and soft, and in seconds, her body was moulded into hers, sharing her body heat as easily as she shared her heart.
Santana could never let another close to her like this. Brittany's different. Santana had never known a person to always have the right motivations, even when in the wrong.
As Brittany and Santana drifted off to sleep, they both only had one thought in mind.
They missed this.
/
"What if the plane crashes? Would that make Lord Tubbington an orphan?"
"Hey," Santana called to Brittany who was pacing around at this point, too anxious to get on the plane. "I'm sure it won't. And besides, I've got him covered, remember?"
Brittany came to a stop and turned to Santana. She needed to say this now or else she never would.
"I don't think you should take care of Lord Tubbington," Brittany said, causing Santana to frown. "Or Fondue For Two."
"What? Why?"
"Santana, you need to move on," Brittany stated as Santana frowned and downcasted her eyes towards the floor. "I love you and I still care about you, I always have and I always will. That's why I want you to live your life, freely and happily."
"I can't do that without you." Santana admitted as she looked up, her unshed tears becoming visible.
"And you won't have to," Brittany added, hoping it'll help soothe Santana's fears. "I'm always gonna be here. One way or another. But you can't just sit around, waiting for good things to happen."
Brittany pulled Santana in for a hug at that moment, sensing her best friend was close to bursting into tears at any second now.
"Look," Brittany said as she pulled away, getting a good look at Santana's heartbroken face which made her feel worse about saying this. "I can't stand seeing you hung up like this. It's killing you and that's killing me. Now, I don't want you to wait for me anymore but… I don't want you to give up on me either."
"What?"
"I mean, who knows what the future will hold, right?"
"I guess."
Brittany sent Santana a sad smile as she looked back at the gate she was supposed to cross, "I have to go." And Brittany left it at that and a peck to Santana's lips before walking away.
"I'll never give up on you." Santana muttered under her breath, out of earshot.
"What?"
Okay, maybe not quite out of earshot.
"Uh, I said I'll miss you!"
Brittany gave Santana a knowing look, "I'll miss you too."
As Santana exited the airport, Brittany's words floated around in her head.
You need to move on.
I love you and I still care about you, I always have and I always will.
I'm always gonna be here.
You can't just sit around, waiting for good things to happen.
I don't want you to wait for me anymore.
I don't want you give up on me either.
Santana heard them all loud and clear.
Forgetting Brittany will be hard, maybe even impossible. But Santana figured not seeing or talking to her while she's at MIT should help the moving on process.
Out of sight, out of mind.
Or so she thought.
favorite and leave a review if you enjoyed! everything that canonically happened to brittana after this in season 5 remains the same.