So.. this story does not state Akutsuki's true feelings and i – sniff sniff – don't own Akutsuki or Naruto or Sakura or Sausuke or yada yada blah blah blah. Please don't sue me please. Itachi is having girl trouble. And it doesn't turn out too well...

Uchiha Itachi was sitting around yelling to Tobi how bored he was.

"Tobi, I'm bored!" Yelled Itachi.

"For the three hundred-thousandth time, I REALLY DON'T CARE!" Tobi screamed back.

Just then, Sasori came in to the room.

"Follow me and be quiet!" he whispered.

"TOBY I'M GOING SOMEWHERE WITH SASORI, OKAAYY!?!" Itachi blurted out.

"Shut up, you moron!" Sasori hissed.

"But why?" Itachi whined.

"Because..." Sasori stopped to think for a moment before continuing, "Uh... you'll see when we get there. There umm... are cookies involved."

"OMG COOKIES!?!?!? I WANT SOME!!!" Itachi yelled.

"SHUT UP!! And, did you know that you yell waaaaaay too much?" Sasori spoke out.

"Oh! That reminds me of a time with my brother. Well, we decided to have a contest, it was who could scream 'butt' the lou-" Itachi was stopped in mid-sentence from the gag that Sasori tied around his mouth.

"Finally! Some peace and quiet! In fact..." Sasori got an idea, which, with an Akutsuki member, is never good. He tied a blindfold around Itachi's eyes (which didn't help since he is already blind) and tied his arms and legs together. Then Sasori dragged him to the leaf village.

"Fathoui, my aff me hewe?" (ungagged translation: Sasori, why are we here?) Itachi tried to speak as Sasori untied the gag, blindfold, and the ropes. He also ripped off the duct tape he maniacally placed on Itachi's belly the night before.

"We need to find you a girlfriend, Itachi, to revive your clan and all that avenger garbage.

"Umm, I think you've been hanging out with Sausuke WAY too much." Itachi laughed out.

"SHADDUP! I'm trying to do you a favor here. Just go over to that girl and tell her your name, then ask her out." Sasori tried REALLY hard not to laugh to death.

"What's so funny..?" Itachi asked suspiciously.

"Trust me, it's nothing. Just go before she leaves!"Sasori said kind of forcibly.

"Okay, okay..." Itachi said as he walked to the door. He knocked on the door.

The door opened slightly and a voice said "Hello..?"

"Hi I'm Uchiha Itachi and-" he was cut off when the woman, beautiful as she was, punched him in the gut. He tried again, "Will you go out with me? Don't hurt me..."

"NO WAY YOU FREAK! GET OFF MY LAWN!" she yelled.

"Why not?" Itachi asked.

"Well, let's see... you're an evil villain, you kill for fun, but creepiest of all, you're a boy who paints his fingernails!" she said. "What's not to like?!"

"Don't forget about my toe nails!" which were painted an ugly purple. At this she gave him a look that said he was a creep. Then she bashed the door shut.

Itachi walked over to Sasori.

"I don't think that was worth it..." Itachi said as he held his gut clearly in pain from when the kunoichi punched him. "PLEASE LET US GO BACK TO AKUTSUKI! I WILL NEVER BE BORED EVER AGAIN!" Itachi pleaded.

"Let me ponder this for a brief moment, no." Sasori laughed in Itachi's face. "It's not as fun torturing you in Akutsuki than it is here!"

This is my first fan fic. I hope you liked it and please PRESS THE DARN REVIEW BUTTON!!! Also, give me some ideas. Something like, flashbacks, or maybe ideas of girls for Sasori to tell Itachi to ask out then tell me why he gets shut down by them. SO, PRESS REVIEW THIS INSTANT OR EXPLODE LIKE THE LITTLE BIRDYS IN SHRECK 1!!!