This begins as a little lvl 3 newb on runescape. He decides to chop down trees for fun. He gets his woodcutting lvl to lvl 10, then a tree spirit comes.
"Ahh, a tree spirit, i heard about these random events!"
" wait, I um have cookies"
"OMG! COOKIES! CAN I HAVE SOME?"
"shut up. And yes if you come with me."
"OOOH COOKIES"
A few painful and not so government funded moments later, we find our not so hero... chained to the wall of a dungeon by the arms.
"uuhg, oh Saradomin, guthix, even zamorak, save me!" then our hero hears in his head, summon the power of saradomin to save you. "okay. Ummmmmmmmmmm. I call upon the power of saradomin!" just then old guy with a beard so long it touches the ground appears in front of him. "I am the great saradomin!" "What! A level 50?!?!?!" I needed anything above a level 50. the tree spirit was level 51! "what, i have only been playing for 5 months!" so saradomin picked the lock. We found the tree spirit. He killed saradomin and recaptured me. he used the easter prize to turn me into an egg, then he played volleyball with me. I was the ball. "this, ow, isn't fun,Yowch!" When the only part that wasn't fun was the getting whacked with a twig 1,000 times on the head. Just then a level 100 walks up kills the tree spirit then walks away. "i hate you deathguy3000." then the tree spirit respawns as a lvl three million billion trillion. But it died because it had so much power. "well this stinks" then the lock magically gets unlocked.
I am out of the building. "Oh no! The dreaded BABYFIRST TV BY DIRECTTV NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
5 minutes of government funded horror later: "THE HORROR! THE GOVERNMENT FUNDED HORROR!" I was still trying to escape the tree spirit base and then it happened...
Deathguy3000 is not a real character on runescape that i know of. Sorry if i have stolen a username it was non-intentional if i have.
poll: what should the next chapter be about?
A:End the newb's life in some sick non-government funded way
B: Have the tree spirit set up sick and twisted traps to poison the newb's mind
C: end the newb's life in a government funded way
D:poison his mind with pictures of men doing the hula in a Barbie bikini
E:None of the above(explain)