I do not own The mighty Boosh or Red dwarf, although i wish i did. I am not repeating this in every chapter. This is my first fanfic and reviews would be greatly appreciated!

Quarantine

We were in a military gray room, with four beds and four chairs. That was about it. I could make this room look so much better with some neon paint and GLITTER! OH MY GOD MY HAIR! I caught sight of it in a mirror, however we got here my hair had taken a serious hit and I think I left my root booster at home! Crap!

"How did we end up in here? Howard? Howard? … HOWARD!

"What?"

"How did we end up in space?" I moaned at Howard for the billionth time.

"I don't know little man, it's probably just some sick joke…"

"Who is doing this though? Naboo and Bollo are asleep in the next room so it can't be them!"

"… good point well made sir"

Howard genuinely looked confused (and slightly hurt that I had pointed out his mistake) how could we be in space? Its ridiculous! A joke, Tony Harrison probably.

Howard had been reading a jazz magazine he had found in a cupboard, why on earth would someone put a jazz magazine in a cupboard? "Well…" said my brain cell "they could be trying to hide it.". I hate it when he's right.

"Howard, was there a copy of cheekbone in there? The new issue should be out in three minuets but we're in space and I don't think Ninjas have rockets".

Howard chuckled.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Your in space and you want to read cheekbone? It's ridiculous!"

"Oh but reading about jazz when your in space isn't ridiculous then?" Howard just lowered his eyes back to the magazine.

"Gentlemen, your conversation makes for some quite interesting listening." a voice said from behind what I thought was a mirror (I had been fussing over my hair for nearly three hours now) it is obviously a window, I think.

"NABOO" Vince screamed.

"What? What's happening?"

"There's a voice behind the mirror" I said casually. Naboo didn't look happy that I wasn't scared like Howard (He was hiding behind a chair repeating over and over: Don't kill me. I've got so much to give)

Then in a strong, well as strong as you can get being 5ft1, voice Naboo said "Who are you" He could have thought of something better to say, like I demand to know who you are or… erm, I can't think of anything else right now, give me a minuet, I was thinking of silver cowboy hats again. Sorry! Stupid brain cell!

"I am Arnold J. Rimmer. You are on the Jupiter mining corporation ship Red Dwarf."