Disclaimer: Well, unless J.K.R. has died and I am channeling her spirit (I think not!), then the characters here are not mine. Yet the retarded-ness behind it is very much in my possession. Thank you.
Ode to R/Hr
R/Hr—how sweet the sound,
That inspired a wretch like me,
I never once was blind,
But there are so many
Others that as yet cannot see.
Oh, you silly H/Hr-ers,
How long do you really think
That the H.M.S. Pumpkin Pie
Will actually stay afloat?
Such a flimsy, fragile thing
Filled with sweet fluff and
Nonsense, offering no sustenance
And satisfaction for those who
Hunger for a solid romance
In this genius series.
But R/Hr, you good Good Ship!
You are like one of Mrs. Weasley's
Meat pies—full of rich, hearty flavor
Unlike the artless pumpkin pie.
'Tis our hope and faith in your
Union that sets our pulses a-tingling with
Amusement, anticipation—and
Annoyance at your oblivious behavior
Towards each other. We can see it,
Why can't you? We believe,
Oh mighty J.K.R.! Do not lead us
Falsely and do not let this ship
Meet the terrible fate of the
Beloved Titanic. The amount of
People falling down dead at such a
Terrible announcement would be
Devastating. Not to mention the
Following lawsuits—they would surely
Deplete the grand fortune you've amassed
As a result of our rabid adoration.
We beg you R/Hr, don't make
Us wait too to see you
Realize that you were
Destined for each other.
R for Hr, and Hr for R.
Honestly.
It's a beautiful thing.
Author's Note: I wrote this on the plane to Taiwan, and revised it several times because I realized that I spent more time cursing H/Hr than I did praising R/Hr. Whoops. Perhaps I should start a new collection of poems called "Cursed Ships" or something. Anyway—
Please review!