The One Where Horatio's Glasses Get Stolen

Horatio and Frank are at a street corner, investigating a dead body.

Horatio: (looking away from Frank and the body) Well, Frank, what have we got?

Frank: It seems that this young lady fell off the top of this building.

Horatio: Do you think it was suicide?

Frank: Not even a little. No one would think of killing themselves by falling off the sacred clock tower.

Horatio: Well, looks like this person… (about to put on glasses but a quick blur steals them from his hands) What the… (looks at who took his glasses)

Wolfe: (drunk) Oh, look at me! I'm Horatio Caine! I'm so cool with my one liners! (puts on glasses and runs away)

Frank: Horatio. I need help with this dead body…

Horatio: The body can wait. (pulls out gun) I'm going on a chase. Get the whole team here!

Frank: But they're just glasses…

Horatio: DAMMIT, FRANK! I NEED THOSE GLASSES NOW! (runs to Wolfe)

Wolfe: Look at me! I'm a cool cop with horrible skills with my voice!

Horatio: (shoots gun) WOLFE! GIVE MY GLASSES BACK NOW! I WILL KILL YOU!

Wolfe: No, you won't! You're Horatio Caine! I'm Ryan Wolfe! No one can stop me! (goes into a building)

Horatio: (follows him) PLEASE! I'LL DO ANYTHING! (crying while running) PLEASE GIVE ME MY GLASSES!

Wolfe: (goes up several flights of stairs) Never!

On top of building

Horatio: Please! Don't do this. Wolfe…DO NOT THROW THOSE OFF THIS BUILDING!

Wolfe: (holding glasses over edge of building) You care more about these glasses more than me!

Horatio: Of course…NOT! OF COURSE NOT, I MEAN!

Wolfe: (drunk and crying) I have to do this! (about to throw glasses off building)

Horatio: (gets out gun and shoots Wolfe) NNNNNNOOOOOOOO!

Wolfe: (about to fall off building but Horatio grabs him) You saved my life. You really do care…

Horatio: (takes glasses out of Wolfe's hand and throws him off the building) That was the only man I've ever loved.

Horatio goes back to Frank

Frank: Well, Horatio. Wolfe had just fallen off this clock tower. That's two bodies in one day.

Horatio: (looks down at glasses) That's unfortunate.

Frank: I know you had something to do with the other body. Do you have anything to say?

Horatio: About what?

Frank: About Wolfe falling off the clock tower.

Horatio: Well that means (puts of glasses) his time was up. (walks away)

YYYEEEEAAAAHHHH!