Havoc had always thought himself to be a bright, charming fellow. Of course he realized that his common sense was a bit under the weather, but other than that, he was a cheery guy. Why he had a spot of bad luck when it came to women was beyond his comprehension. Yesterday was no exception. She hugged him, told him he was a nice, goofy guy, but when he asked her if they could go out again, she simply laughed and shut the door in his face. The normally cheery guy was rather… glum.
Riza had a gun, a nice, shinny, slightly lethal, gun. Riza liked to shoot things with her gun. Havoc knew Riza like to shoot things with her gun. What Havoc didn't know, was that Riza's nice, shinny, slightly lethal, gun that she liked to shoot things with was currently at the shop being repaired.
Roy didn't have a gun. Roy had gloves, white, stretchy, slightly lethal gloves. Roy's glove had red squiggles on them. Roy had a lighter. Roy's white, stretchy, slightly lethal gloves with the red squiggles on them were the lighter. Roy liked to burn things. Roy liked to burn things with his lighter. Havoc knew Roy liked to burn things with his lighter. What Havoc didn't know, was that Roy's white, stretchy, slightly lethal gloves with the red squiggles on them that he liked to burn things with were at the dry cleaners.
Havoc had many friends. Havoc's best friend was his pet fish. Havoc's pet fish was named Mildred. Havoc loved Mildred. Havoc got lonely at work. Havoc brought Mildred to work. Havoc left Mildred at work. Havoc went to feed Mildred in the morning. Mildred was dead. Havoc couldn't feed Mildred because Mildred was dead. What Havoc didn't know was who killed Mildred.
"M-Mildred," Havoc, stuttered, seeing his beloved fish turned belly-side up.
"It was just a fish. Get a new one." Breda said.
"Just a fish? Mildred was… Mildred was the fish. No, he was more than a fish. He was a shark at heart."
"He was a fish," Roy began. "Now he's a dead fish."
"He's a casualty of war."
"He's a casualty of being locked in a fish tanks. We could always commemorate his death over a fire-pit."
"You wouldn't dare."
Roy smiled and licked his lips, "I've never been much of one for goldfish, but I suppose I could make an exception."
Havoc, being in a grouchy mood to begin with, was not taking the Colonel's "good-natured" humor lightly. Did he say fire pit "It was you, wasn't it?"
"Me?"
"You suggested we roast Mildred over a fire. I think he's looking a bit crispy already. You murdered Mildred. Murderer!"
"Calm down," Riza intervened. "The Colonel didn't burn your fish."
"Oh, so maybe it was you. I know how you are with that gun of yours. You probably used it for practice."
"Impossible," Roy stated.
"And why's that."
"Because the 1st Lieutenant's gun is currently out of commission."
"Than what about you, huh?"
Roy showed Havoc his uncovered hands, "They're at the dry cleaners."
"A likely excuse."
"No," Furry spoke up. "You spilt coffee on them yesterday, remember."
"Than it must have been you!"
"Me?" Furry muttered in surprise.
"If not you then who else? Breda? Falman?
"Lieutenant, how old is your fish?" Riza asked.
"A year and 13 days."
"You do realize that fish don't usually live past a year?"
"Really?"
Roy whispered to Riza, "I'll take that as a no."