**HERE'S THE DISCLAIMER TO THE FACT THAT PECHAN WILL NEVER IN A MILLION
YEARS OWN THE RUROUNI KENSHIN FRANCHISE. And if you're into serious fics,
stop reading here. This is just a rambling in her crazy head. She just
needs to get it out.
(On a dark night, when the moon's full bright, and the manslayers still roamed the streets of Kyoto...........)
Saito: (sigh) You know what, Okita? I am so friggin' kick @$$. Seriously. I mean, come on!! I am so damn cool, it's a friggin' wonder how I can barely stay a virgin myself!!
Okita: ........................................ that cigarette of yours wouldn't happen to be that foreign tobacco called marijuana, right sir?
Saito: Best tasting cig I ever had in my life. (spots a suspicious feller) YOU THERE!!! AKU SOKU ZAN!!
Feller: Oh cr@p!! (runs for it)
Saito: (springs into action, and stabs the evil doer in half) GATOTSU!!
Okita: Is it possible to stab someone in half, sir?
Saito: (wipes blade) It is now. Now, what was this man charged under?
Okita: Uhhh....... littering.
Saito: Ah............ well................. this is a good day's work. I made a difference, did you?
Okita: This is the last time we let you have that marijuana, sir.
(suddenly, the dead man jumps up, and bites Saito's arm)
Saito: What the..? OW!! (whacks the body a few times) THAT HURTS, YOU F@G!! (stabs him several times, shouting "Gatotsu!!" each time)
(the man is finally dead)
Okita: Ewwww, he bit you!! Now you have cooties!!!
Saito: Only a mary like you would say................ well, I can't say it. I'm not a mary. (looks at the bleeding bite mark) Odd. I feel tingly.
Okita: Maybe we should have that checked, sir.
Saito: Nah, I'll be fine. In fact, I don't feel a thing!! Got another one of those, what-a-ya-call-ems? Joints.
Okita: I decided to throw them all away. They're affecting your judgment rather poorly.
Saito: Bullsh!t!! Why I can see everything.... with my eye of the heart!
(Just then, Himura Battousai struts in)
Saito: (tips cap) Evening ma'am.
Okita: Uh, sir? That's the battousai.
Saito: Pfft, like anyone can tell. He looks pretty enough to rape-
Kenshin: Hey, I CAN hear you, that I can!!
Saito: (takes the Hirazuki stance) Like anyone cares what you think. Have at thee!!
(they fight all cool and stuff. Suddenly.....)
Kenshin: My, you have certainly long hair Saito, that you do!!
Saito: Oh, thanks. I brush it like, a million times a day-
Kenshin: (sweats) No, I mean, you're very hairy, that you are.
Saito: ............................. (looks down at his hands, finds himself covered in sleek black fur) .................................... okay, it's official. I'm quitting smoking joints.
Okita: Eeek, sir!! You have a tail!!
Satio: (rolls eyes) Well, most guys do Okita! It's what makes a guy a man!! Course, between two pretty boys like you and the battousai, I wouldn't be surprised if I'm the only one with a tail in this fight right now-
Okita: (points) No sir, you have a doggy tail!!
Saito: (looks behind him, to see a wagging tail) ...................................................... hnh. That is something. GRK!! (hunches over, grows a large back and claws. His face elongates to that of a wolf, and he howled at the moon)
Kenshin: (sweats) Ahh, maybe we should postpone this fight, that we should?
Saito: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-
Okita: Oh, I get it!! That man was a werewolf!! And now Mr. Saito is a werewolf!!
Saito: Wow, you're a quick one. I'm glad I have you for a partner.
Okita: (sniff sniff) You didn't have to say it all mean like, sir...........
Saito: (howls) Finally!! With strength such as this, I will tear the Battousai to........... the hell did he run off to now?
Okita: I think you scared him off sir.
Saito: (shrugs) Oh well. He was an idiot anyways.
Okita: ................. forgive me if I'm wrong sir, but, aren't werewolves supposed to be crazy, maniacal beasts that kill anything they see?
Saito: ................... Oh yeah! I forgot about that part. Well, here goes!! (barks, grrs, howls, yaps, woofs, and any other dog sound known to man, as he rampages the streets)
Okita: (sweats) I think Pechan was smoking a joint herself the day she wrote this.
Pechan: Naw, I'm just bored. Besides!! The Wolf of Mibu? Why not make it the WEREwolf of Mibu? That is so friggin' awesome!!
Okita: But now the suave debonair Saito is replaced with a ravaging beast!!
Pechan: ............ either way, he's still sexy!!
Okita: Well, can't argue with you there!! Say, you think since he called me a pretty boy, he might consider dating me?
Pechan: First of, my Saito isn't gay. Second of all, your voice sounds like you haven't hit puberty yet, and lastly, HE'S MINE!! (bops his head, knocking the boy unconscious) Mwa ha ha ha haaaaa....
**Yep, it was one of those days. I really wouldn't know what to do with this fic, I was just watching some lame @$$ scary movie, and there was a werewolf in it. And ya know, wolves made me think of Saito automatically, so yeah. Sorry for wasting your time, since this fic isn't going anywhere, heh.
~~~~~~And so sorry to any hardcore Saito fans out there!! Once in a while, I gotta poke fun at him too. Just to be fair...................................... but maybe I gotta screw the fair stuff. (takes out pom poms, cheers) SEXY SAITO, ALL THE WAY!! HE BEATS KENSHIN ANY DAY!! KAMATARI'S FREAK-IN GAY!! GIMME A 'S'!! AND A EYE!! AND A TOE!! WHATS IT SPELL?!! (throws away poms poms) Hell if I know, I'm flunking Language Arts.
*okay, I'm gonna physically stop myself from typing anymore. I'm probably gonna delete this later, too.
(On a dark night, when the moon's full bright, and the manslayers still roamed the streets of Kyoto...........)
Saito: (sigh) You know what, Okita? I am so friggin' kick @$$. Seriously. I mean, come on!! I am so damn cool, it's a friggin' wonder how I can barely stay a virgin myself!!
Okita: ........................................ that cigarette of yours wouldn't happen to be that foreign tobacco called marijuana, right sir?
Saito: Best tasting cig I ever had in my life. (spots a suspicious feller) YOU THERE!!! AKU SOKU ZAN!!
Feller: Oh cr@p!! (runs for it)
Saito: (springs into action, and stabs the evil doer in half) GATOTSU!!
Okita: Is it possible to stab someone in half, sir?
Saito: (wipes blade) It is now. Now, what was this man charged under?
Okita: Uhhh....... littering.
Saito: Ah............ well................. this is a good day's work. I made a difference, did you?
Okita: This is the last time we let you have that marijuana, sir.
(suddenly, the dead man jumps up, and bites Saito's arm)
Saito: What the..? OW!! (whacks the body a few times) THAT HURTS, YOU F@G!! (stabs him several times, shouting "Gatotsu!!" each time)
(the man is finally dead)
Okita: Ewwww, he bit you!! Now you have cooties!!!
Saito: Only a mary like you would say................ well, I can't say it. I'm not a mary. (looks at the bleeding bite mark) Odd. I feel tingly.
Okita: Maybe we should have that checked, sir.
Saito: Nah, I'll be fine. In fact, I don't feel a thing!! Got another one of those, what-a-ya-call-ems? Joints.
Okita: I decided to throw them all away. They're affecting your judgment rather poorly.
Saito: Bullsh!t!! Why I can see everything.... with my eye of the heart!
(Just then, Himura Battousai struts in)
Saito: (tips cap) Evening ma'am.
Okita: Uh, sir? That's the battousai.
Saito: Pfft, like anyone can tell. He looks pretty enough to rape-
Kenshin: Hey, I CAN hear you, that I can!!
Saito: (takes the Hirazuki stance) Like anyone cares what you think. Have at thee!!
(they fight all cool and stuff. Suddenly.....)
Kenshin: My, you have certainly long hair Saito, that you do!!
Saito: Oh, thanks. I brush it like, a million times a day-
Kenshin: (sweats) No, I mean, you're very hairy, that you are.
Saito: ............................. (looks down at his hands, finds himself covered in sleek black fur) .................................... okay, it's official. I'm quitting smoking joints.
Okita: Eeek, sir!! You have a tail!!
Satio: (rolls eyes) Well, most guys do Okita! It's what makes a guy a man!! Course, between two pretty boys like you and the battousai, I wouldn't be surprised if I'm the only one with a tail in this fight right now-
Okita: (points) No sir, you have a doggy tail!!
Saito: (looks behind him, to see a wagging tail) ...................................................... hnh. That is something. GRK!! (hunches over, grows a large back and claws. His face elongates to that of a wolf, and he howled at the moon)
Kenshin: (sweats) Ahh, maybe we should postpone this fight, that we should?
Saito: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-
Okita: Oh, I get it!! That man was a werewolf!! And now Mr. Saito is a werewolf!!
Saito: Wow, you're a quick one. I'm glad I have you for a partner.
Okita: (sniff sniff) You didn't have to say it all mean like, sir...........
Saito: (howls) Finally!! With strength such as this, I will tear the Battousai to........... the hell did he run off to now?
Okita: I think you scared him off sir.
Saito: (shrugs) Oh well. He was an idiot anyways.
Okita: ................. forgive me if I'm wrong sir, but, aren't werewolves supposed to be crazy, maniacal beasts that kill anything they see?
Saito: ................... Oh yeah! I forgot about that part. Well, here goes!! (barks, grrs, howls, yaps, woofs, and any other dog sound known to man, as he rampages the streets)
Okita: (sweats) I think Pechan was smoking a joint herself the day she wrote this.
Pechan: Naw, I'm just bored. Besides!! The Wolf of Mibu? Why not make it the WEREwolf of Mibu? That is so friggin' awesome!!
Okita: But now the suave debonair Saito is replaced with a ravaging beast!!
Pechan: ............ either way, he's still sexy!!
Okita: Well, can't argue with you there!! Say, you think since he called me a pretty boy, he might consider dating me?
Pechan: First of, my Saito isn't gay. Second of all, your voice sounds like you haven't hit puberty yet, and lastly, HE'S MINE!! (bops his head, knocking the boy unconscious) Mwa ha ha ha haaaaa....
**Yep, it was one of those days. I really wouldn't know what to do with this fic, I was just watching some lame @$$ scary movie, and there was a werewolf in it. And ya know, wolves made me think of Saito automatically, so yeah. Sorry for wasting your time, since this fic isn't going anywhere, heh.
~~~~~~And so sorry to any hardcore Saito fans out there!! Once in a while, I gotta poke fun at him too. Just to be fair...................................... but maybe I gotta screw the fair stuff. (takes out pom poms, cheers) SEXY SAITO, ALL THE WAY!! HE BEATS KENSHIN ANY DAY!! KAMATARI'S FREAK-IN GAY!! GIMME A 'S'!! AND A EYE!! AND A TOE!! WHATS IT SPELL?!! (throws away poms poms) Hell if I know, I'm flunking Language Arts.
*okay, I'm gonna physically stop myself from typing anymore. I'm probably gonna delete this later, too.