Without You
A Sherlock Imagine
"It's hard, asking someone with a broken heart to fall in love again."
I can't win, I can't reign
I will never win this game without you, without you
I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same without you, without you
Heartless
Monster
Insensitive
Robot
Psychopath
Highly functioning sociopath
That's what they all thought of him, except for the people close to him
There was only one other person in the world besides himself who knew the true reason for it all.
They would all be surprised to hear
That Sherlock Holmes had been in love before.
Completely and wholeheartedly
Head over hills in love
And it had broken him.
I won't run, I won't fly
I will never make it by without you, without you
I can't rest, I can't fight
All I need is you and I, without you, without you
It had all started with you.
You had met Sherlock as a child.
While neither of the Holmes brothers were good at making friends,
You seemed to simply be made for the two.
You weren't put off by any answer they gave you, no matter how blunt.
You always remained sweet and innocent
Only intriguing the brothers further.
You had just moved into the neighborhood becoming neighbors with the brothers.
Your parents did as they did everywhere you moved.
They brought cookies
To
Every
Neighbor
You had become bored after visiting the fifth house but still remained pleasant and nice
You finally arrived to the last house which just happened to be next to yours.
You walked up to the steps hoping for just one family to have people your age
So you wouldn't die of boredom!
A nice women answered the door
She looked sweet and smiled brightly at the gift. This made you smile in return.
Making people happy always made your day
"Well aren't you a sweet." Your parents smiled down at you obviously proud.
You didn't' really know why you got credit when obviously you couldn't make cookies on your own.
You thanked her anyway watching curiously as a shadow crossed behind her.
A little boy poked his head past his mom's legs.
You smiled shyly but excitedly nonetheless.
Finally!
His curly hair bounced as he looked at you, tilting his head to the side.
"Oh Sherl! There you are. This is our neighbors Mr. and Mrs. (YLN) and this is their daughter (Y/N)
You waved trying to hide the worry he wouldn't like you.
He seemed to think it over for a second before giving you a sweet smile and waving back awkwardly
Your smile got even bigger
He felt his heart thump in his chest.
He couldn't wait to tell Mycroft about the new girl.
Oh oh oh
You! You! You!
Without
You! You! You!
Without you
As soon as his mother had closed the door he ran excitedly into Mycrofts room.
"Mycroft guess what!" He had looked up startled to see Sherlock so happy.
"Well don't keep me in suspense what is it!"
"We have a neighbor, a girl our age!"
Mycroft would have been lying to say he wasn't excited.
THe first time the three of you had interacted you had seen the boys playing in the yard.
You had come up quietly.
You waited for them to notice
When they saw you they shot up excitedly.
"Y/N!"
"Hi!"
"Mycroft this is the girl I was telling you about."
He had held his hand out to you shaking it, which you had thought was funny for a kid.
"Mycroft Holmes, it's a pleasure to meet you Y/N" You smiled brightly laughing.
"The honor is all mine Mycroft."
"So what brings you over?" It was Mycroft who asked, he wasn't trying to be rude, he was just curious.
"Well I was wondering if I could play with you guys. I'm done unpacking and I absolutely despise being bored!"
The boys immediately agreed to let her play if it kept any of them from boredom.
They had played pirates, tag, and solved "mysteries" for hours.
It wasn't until Mrs. Holmes asked Y/N if she wanted to stay for dinner that they stopped.
"Of course, thank you ma'am."
"Oh please ma'am is so formal, call me Lydia (I think that's her name).
"Alright thank you Lydia, I'll just give my mom a call."
Sherlock and Mycroft couldn't remember a dinner being so fun.
You were a chatter box keeping everyone entertained of stories of your travels.
Your parents were traveling librarians so you moved around a lot.
After an exhilarating story about your time in New York where you got lost on the subway.
Mycroft and Sherlock realized they weren't letting you go anytime soon.
Can't erase, so I'll take blame
But I can't accept that we're estranged without you, without you
I can't quit now, this can't be right
I can't take one more sleepless night without you, without you
I won't soar, I won't climb
If you're not here, I'm paralyzed without you, without you
I can't look, I'm so blind
I lost my heart, I lost my mind without you, without you
Sherlock and Mycroft had appeared at your door prepared to help you at your new school however they could.
Thinking that you would be nervous being new.
What they hadn't known was you were so used to being new that it had no effect on you.
You never stayed one place very long anyway
So it wasn't like it mattered
This thought made your smile waver only slightly as you walked to school with the boys
To anyone else it wouldn't have been noticeable but you were not with just anyone
You were with the Holmes brothers
"What's wrong?"
It was Sherlock who asked.
Mycroft had stayed quite, figuring if it was important you would share.
"Oh nothing."
"Don't lie, it's not what friends do so I'm told."
You smiled lightly looking at Sherlock and then to Mycroft.
"I'm just so used to all of this."
The boys frowned waiting for you to continue.
"You want to know why I don't get nervous?"
The brothers looked from you to each other before looking back to you nodding.
"I never stay anywhere! I'm lucky if I get more than a year at a school. My parents are travelling librarians so they're constantly moving to the next place, onto the next thing. Don't get me wrong it's an exciting life but I just…I want friends. I want friends that will last a lifetime, you know?"
You looked to your newest friends.
Both held a look that gave you comfort.
Each one grabbing one of your hands.
"I think we know exactly what you're talking about."
The three of you happily continued onto school together.
Oh oh oh
You! You! You!
Without
You! You! You!
Without you
For some odd reason your parents didn't move again.
Maybe it was because business in England was so good.
Or maybe it was because they found something in you that was so different.
You were irrevocably happy.
Happier than you had been anywhere.
You stayed neighbors and best friends with the Holmes brothers all the way until university.
Mycroft had gone off to study abroad, which of course you remained in touch.
You and Sherlock would call him every day.
When it came time to go off to college you chose to stay.
Maybe it was because you managed to find a school that would allow you to be in England
Or maybe it was because a certain detective was staying.
You and Sherlock became inseparable.
You went to class together.
You went to lunch together,
You did homework together.
There was nothing you couldn't do if Sherlock Holmes was by your side.
When Mycroft graduated and came home he could tell the difference.
He'd be lying if he said he wasn't pleased.
You were good for his brother.
You were good for them both.
With a little push from Mycroft Sherlock finally asked you out.
You said yes of course.
From then on there was nothing hidden between you two.
You would go on dates.
You worked together.
Plus you still had your daily times with Mycroft.
Everything was perfect.
Until one day it wasn't.
Just because life was perfect didn't mean your body was.
It all started with nausea and dizziness.
You would wake up sick
Or you would cancel a date because you couldn't move
Sherlock finally forced you to go after seeing the blood in the toilet.
He and Mycroft sat with you in the waiting room each holding one of your hands.
Some things never did change.
When your name was called you all went.
The results came in
Slow but sure
You had cancer
The untreatable kind
You were given a year
One year…
You were 23.
You didn't cry
Neither brother had ever seen you cry unless you were watching a movie.
Oddly enough you comforted the brothers as they cried.
Things became solemn for a short time.
Once the information had sunk in you wouldn't allow it anymore.
You wrote out a list handing it to the brothers.
"What is this?"
Sherlock looked confused as he scanned the list.
Mycroft had a look of intent on his face.
"Jump off a cliff?"
You smiled brightly hands on your hips.
"Yes! This boys is my bucket list! I have a limited amount of time left and I'm living it to the fullest!"
The boys stared at you
You could see the sorrow in their eyes.
"I of course could never get through this whole list without the help of my two favorite people."
The smiles were genuine even if the sadness still lurked, but you could deal with that.
You traveled anywhere you could think of
You had decided that you were going to jump off of many cliffs,
Swim with dolphins,
Laugh for five minutes straight,
Eat a Big Mac,
Create an ice cream flavor,
Go to Disney World,
Lay on a beach,
Go to a bar to sing Karaoke,
And get married.
You had finished all but one within six months.
It had been some of the best months of your life.
The brothers had to agree.
It was almost as though you could forget what was going on.
You had written the last thing on your bucket list as a joke mostly.
Just wanting to embarrass Sherlock,
So when the love of your life got on one knee where Mycroft gave him a box you were shocked.
Never had you ever thought this moment would come.
This was the dream
You had your best friend's right by you
You were currently in Paris and things felt so right.
You got married one month later in the neighbor's backyard.
People whom you had come to think of long before the technical "mother and father in law" titles appeared.
You couldn't have been happier.
You swayed nervously as you listened to the music that began the ceremony.
Your dress had needed to be altered the week before due to some weight loss from your condition,
But even so you were stunning!
You peeked out from behind the curtain giggling like a child when Sherlock spotted you peeking giving you a playfully scolding look before rolling his eyes.
You had gotten back into your place until you felt your father link his arm with yours.
You looked to him seeing the proud tears pool in his eye.
"Let's get you married huh?"
You chuckled leaning against him.
"Trying to get rid of me?"
"Never."
You had laughed as you walked out seeing everyone turn to look at you made you feel so important.
A feeling that before had only been induced by Sherlock and Mycroft.
You felt a blush come across your cheeks as you made eye contact with your future husband.
You spared a quick glance to Mycroft who gave you a thumbs up.
There ceremony had gone beautifully
It had been kept somewhat short to keep you from getting tired, but that was fine.
You wouldn't have had it any other way.
You smiled brightly as you heard the preacher announce you has Mrs. Holmes.
You had lunged forward giving Sherlock a sweet but passionate kiss causing the crowed to laugh and Sherlock to blush.
You had a way of doing that to him.
You couldn't have been happier.
It wasn't until a month later when your illness began to take over did you realize how close to the end you were.
Your medicine had mostly stopped working, only managing to keep away the pain rather than the symptoms.
Sherlock would hold your hair back, rubbing comforting circles into your back as you hurled.
He would make you soup and anything you could keep down.
He read to you, which was something you had loved since you were kids!
You loved the silly voices he did and the passion he had for the characters.
Mycroft would come over with your favorite drinks and movies.
The three of you would cuddle up and watch movies for hours.
You had never felt safer squished between the Holmes brothers.
When the time finally came.
You laid in the hospital bed
Your breathing was shallow
But it didn't hurt
Nothing hurt
You looked up to your husband who kissed your hand.
"I love you so much."
"I know."
Mycroft was so quiet
You looked to him
A look of determination.
"Mycroft Holmes, if you lose it on me I won't be happy, if you need to cry cry, but don't hide from me. A very smart boy once told me 'Don't lie, it's not what friends do.'"
This caused Mycroft to smile a grateful smile towards you. He leaned down kissing your head.
You could feel the compassion and warmth in that single touch.
As you laid there each brother holding one of your hands
You were reminded of something.
Two brothers and a girl who thought they only had a year.
When really they got a lifetime.
A friendship that lasted forever.
I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same without you, without you
Without you
Authors note: Hello guys! I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it…if anyone reads this. Oh come on someone has to read this! Any who, while it was sad I couldn't help but smile at all the sweet moments. Hopefully you enjoyed. I am super tired and will be heading to bed. Goodnight, day, or afternoon. I wish you all a life of happiness. Talk to you soon!