"You remove your tattoo because you hate the idea of someone dictating who you can be with for the rest of your life and the person who's removing it happens to be your soulmate and they're torn between letting you know and just not bringing it up because you kind of went there because you didn't want a soulmate and vice versa."
There's a term here that I think isn't fairly common, so I think I'll define it beforehand.
trainer: "a class of aircraft designed specifically to facilitate flight training of pilots and aircrews" (from wikipedia)
Melinda May never liked rules. Well, in a sense, she liked them, but she's always thought that they were meant to be broken. She liked how it pushed people into order, but she took it upon herself to learn them well enough so she can know when to bend them. Sometimes (okay, most times) she even enjoyed it.
As a kid, she had stayed past her bedtime to clean her figure skates, trying as best as her eagle night light would allow her to see. She polished them with the excitement of a twelve year-old going on her first competition. And one wintry night before that, when her parents were asleep, her neighbors caught her sneaking out of the house to practice on their pond.
When she eventually grew out of the figure skates, she decided that flying would be better than gliding. She exchanged the wide ice skating rink with the confined comfort of a cockpit. Going to flight school, she never changed. She still snuck out at night, but this time it was to take one of the trainers on joyrides. She found the night sky relaxing. She liked being close to the stars, too.
She's had the best fun during her younger days. She was never the subject of suspicion whenever there were elaborate pranks around the school. The quiet one always went unnoticed. She got away with most things, and she usually did it with a subtle smirk on her face.
Now, besides being one of the youngest, she's also one of the best pilots in the Air Force. She's successful, accomplished, respected. She couldn't ask for more. That is, until she meets the love of her life, Andrew Garner.
You see, she couldn't just throw herself in his arms. There were rules. Each person had a unique tattoo somewhere on their body. Well... Almost unique. The tattoo would be an exact same match with another person. That person would be their soulmate. She was in love with Andrew, and Andrew was in love with her. But the marks on their bodies couldn't be any more different.
That's when she found herself calling for an appointment for a laser tattoo removal. Melinda May never liked rules, anyway.
Her hair is up in a ponytail and she's wearing a loose grey shirt with pants that are even darker. She goes up to the reception desk and confirms her appointment. The receptionist, a doe-eyed young lady in a flower dress, politely asks her to sit in the waiting area.
When her name is called, she stands and fixes her shirt before she enters the little clinic. There is a man with his back to her, and the sound of rubber gloves slapping against skin is unmistakably heard. The man is wearing scrubs underneath a lab coat, and before she even attempts to imagine what he looks like, he turns to face her.
"So, what is it? A drunken tattoo?" he jokes. He has an adorable, droopy smile along with warm, kind eyes that she imagines could see right through to everybody.
She doesn't know how to respond, being in her situation, so she huffs out a breath of passable laughter instead.
"Doctor Coulson," he nods at her as he introduces himself.
"Melinda May," she reaches her hand out and offers him a handshake. He simply raises both his hands, reminding her that he already has gloves on. She notices when his eyes squint at the marks on her wrist, so she raises her outstretched hand even higher for him to see. They were two eagles, flying side by side, somewhere above where her pulse should be.
"Actually, I want this removed," she says it like she's never been so sure of anything in her life.
The doctor's brows furrow, and she sees his adam's apple drop lower as he seems to force himself to swallow. His hands turn into fists before he opens them again and reaches out to examine the tattoo, and he cradles her hand like it's the most delicate thing in the world. His thumb traces along the marks and she doesn't notice the shivers that travelled down her spine until they were released as a heavy breath.
"Well then," he smiles and it wasn't like before. This time, his mouth is a tight line and the light tone in his voice was gone. "We haven't got all day," He leads her to the examination chair in the middle of the room. He adjusts his gloves, raising them higher up his hands before he picks up the instrument that would shoot lasers into her skin.
He explains to her the procedure – how the laser works to remove the tattoo pigments, the risks, possible side effects, and aftercare. He also tells her that she'll need to come back for more sessions in order for the tattoo to be fully removed.
"Where did you get this tattoo?" they're in the middle of the procedure and he's the first to talk.
"I've had it since I was little," she shrugs.
"So this is your..."
"My soulmate mark," she finishes his sentence after he trails off, seemingly unable to find his words.
"Why do you want it removed?" his otherwise welcoming eyes have become unreadable to her.
"I just don't like being dictated what to do or how to feel about someone," she smiles a rebellious smile, and he returns it, albeit reservedly.
"What happens if you meet your soulmate?" his voice is lower now, but he's looking directly into her eyes. She somehow feels and resists the strong urge to touch him. "What if they never believe you then?"
"I already have someone else," she says confidently. "Why do you keep asking me these questions? Are you my soulmate?" she teases him.
He laughs, and because she doesn't know him that well, she brushes off the assumption that it sounded like a nervous laugh. It's perfectly plausible to also assume that that was how he normally laughed.
"No, of course not," he returns his focus on the two – well right now, one – eagle. "Look at this little guy all alone now. Hate to know your soulmate would be left just like that," he keeps their conversation joke-filled but there was something heavy in his tone. She tilts her head to the side, suddenly curious about the man so carefully removing what was supposed to be the dictator of her destiny.
"I'm sure they'll find someone," she fills with warmth as she says it, because she knows the experience personally. She's deeply in love with Andrew. She knows what she's leaving behind. Both of them do. But they're both so sure that the love between them is worth losing their own soulmates over. Besides, other people have done it. In their world, some soulmates even knew each other, but chose to be with other people instead.
"I don't know if I should tell you this," she continues and she's aware that she's gushing. "But I think he's proposing. When I was changing our sheets, I found a ring under the mattress."
The doctor's hand, the one holding the device, stops and hovers above her wrist. He shifts himself uncomfortably and avoids her gaze.
"Something wrong, Doc?" she suddenly finds herself concerned about this man she's just met, because somehow, after feeling excited about the prospect of marrying Andrew, she's struck with the feeling of loss.
"Nothing," he smiles and shakes his head. "I'm happy for you," he regards her for the longest time – those gentle blue eyes appearing more genuine compared to the last half hour they've been together. He continues his work and congratulates her, tells her that the man she'll soon be marrying must feel like the luckiest guy on earth.
When they're finished, he puts an ice pack on her wrist while reminding her of their next session together. The tattoo is already fading, and she's ecstatic about not being restricted to wait for someone she might not even meet.
"So," he removes the ice pack and gazes at the faded birds on her hand. "Is your soon-to-be-fiance getting his mark removed too?" He stands and writes a prescription for an antibiotic cream, and adds a little note at the bottom telling her that she'll need to protect it with sunblock whenever she goes outside.
"He did keep talking about it," she nods her head as if she's just remembered it. "Maybe I can convince him."
"Well, I'd be glad to help," he says. He crosses his hands behind his back, reaches again for his right hand and pulls the glove tighter up his arm. He then soothes his thumb over a spot just above his pulse.
"Thanks, Doc," she smiles at him and he smiles back, a gentle smile that for some reason overwhelmed her entire being and made her heart ache.
"Just doing my job," his exhale is visible in the way his shoulders and chest heaved downward. "And you can call me Phil," he finally adds, and she thinks that she's heard those words before, but they were just said differently this time. It sounded like letting go. Like goodbye.
She picks up her bag and nods another thank you at him, reaching for the doorknob. With her back to him, she hears him take a step forward. Something inside of her wanted to stop right there, but something inside of him might have said the same thing. What was she anticipating? Knowing he isn't moving anymore, and not hearing any more footsteps toward her, she exits the door. Once she's out, she can't help but feel that a part of her was left in that room, like she became whole when she entered and another part went missing as soon as she stepped out.
From the inside of the room, Phil forces his eyes shut and takes a deep breath. He's alone now. He removes his gloves and stares at his wrist, sees for the millionth time the two eagles flying together. All the times he's seen it before this day, he was the most hopeful man. Today was different. Today he met her. Melinda May. He thought it would be the happiest day of his life. But today, today was the day he found out that his soulmate loved someone else.
He touches the eagles again, his fingertips ghosting over each one, just as he did with Melinda May.
A/N: I'm planning to write a second part with a happier ending (maybe an alternate one or just a continuation). I'm just not sure if it'll be any sooner, but I really want to, so I probably will. Can't bring myself to end this here because 4x15 also left us hanging lol.