Hello folks! It's rainbownameko here! So hey! Continuation!
Thank you all so much for sticking with me through out SCORCHER. It's a real treat having all of you reading my story. It's my first post so the reaction was pretty much uber awesome to me. And now we have Seeing Stars!
I'm not really one to think up names and stuff, like I want to make it simple and not thinking to much but somehow with the second have, I struggled so much before deciding the name. I wanted it to be special, so I'm putting my thoughts behind it.
Hope you enjoy the rest of the story too! See you real soon!
Disclaimer: Chikae.
"Please go out with me."
The words echo within her head, ringing in her ears like raindrops falling endlessly, tiredly soothing the heated earth one summer morning.
"How was the movie?" her dad asks the instant they come face to face. It looks like he has been standing at the door, just waiting for her to come inside.
Ten to fifteen.
Chikae was fifteen minutes earlier than her curfew. Half an hour to be exact; but the fifteen minutes that she spent standing outside her apartment, that fifteen minutes earlier she could go through this door and act like nothing has happened, she can never forget it.
Her heart still beats fast, and her mind nowhere calm.
The girl can't feel a thing. It's just chaos inside her.
So many questions, so many feelings that she cannot handle at the moment.
"Ah... Erm..." she manages to breathe out without looking at the young Ukai in the eyes.
Her dad says nothing.
Even if he did, it would only be drowned at the buzzing of the thousand butterflies in her stomach.
"Sugawara."
That was the last thing she hears her dad say before she closes the door of her room and her dad slams the door of their house shut.
Keishin rushes out into the street, looking around for a familiar silhouette. He didn't mind that he was wearing his mismatched pajamas and slippers. He didn't mind that he looks like a complete psycho right now.
That brat, the young man grimaces in annoyance. What the hell did he say to Chikae?!
The ash-like hair flies through his sight, only slightly like a flick of a knife. It was fast. But not enough for him to miss it.
"Sugawara!" he calls out to the high school boy, "Stop where you are!"
The Karasuno team's setter obviously seems surprised by the sudden call. The shock drives him frozen and Keishin Ukai takes that as a chance for him to charge towards the punk. Oppositely, the young Sugawara, no idea how to respond to the incoming attack (by the look of the coach and the speed that the man is coming at him), flabbergasted at his situation instinctively tried to run. Keyword: tried.
But Keishin was faster. Putting his grip on the third-year's shoulder, he makes sure that all of the attempt to flee from the frightened boy destroyed.
"What happened?" he interogates, "Chikae came home looking like she just saw a ghost."
He notices Sugawara's eyes widen for a fraction of a second before that natural smile shows up on his face.
"I... er... I asked her to be my girlfr-"
"YOU DID WHAT?" he couldn't wait for the boy to finish his words. The moment his head registers the content of Sugawara's answer, Keishin flips. "And?" he pushes.
"She said no," the boy's smile turns sad.
It's really hard to see, how this boy shows his negative emotion. He always seem to hide behind that constant smile of his, encouraging all people and being the shoulder to bear all the team's burden.
Of course Keishin doesn't expect any less from the vice captain of the team. But with all of that in his head, Sugawara developed feelings for Chikae why?
The young Ukai means no bad intention towards his own daughter but Chikae isn't the type that would attract the attention of the opposite sex. Boys usually find her either too rude or too hard-to-get. And yet, this kid fell for her.
The corner of Sugawara's eyes sag down only a bit, signaling that the topic shouldn't be spread any bigger. Again, he understands; but...
"I see..." says Keishin, actually feeling relief that Chikae says no. For whatever reason that make her decide that, he is grateful. Not that he doesn't want to find a boyfriend or anything. Maybe when she starts hitting 20, and still doesn't have a guy next to her, then he might be worried. But for now, he just feels glad that his little girl shouldn't holding hands with anyone, "She turned ya down... That's too bad, you're such a nice kid"
"Ukai-san," Sugawara chuckles, his voice shakes only faintly, "I'm very grateful for your condolence, but your smile doesn't really match your words."
Keishin stops himself, consciously checking his mouth.
Since when did I..., he quirks an eyebrow at the actual finding of his smile.
"Well, I said it," Sugawara continues, "But it seems that Chicchan has too much on her mind right now to consider my feelings... I'm gonna get going now. See you at practice tomorrow, coach."
He waves his hand subconsciously at the boy's same act. Keishin doesn't know what to think. He wants to talk to Chikae, asking her what went through her mind when she turn Sugawara down. He wants to know.
The young Ukai turns backwards, slowly walking back to his house. His indoor slipper scratches at the ground, making noises as he drags his feet away from the heart-broken (he assumes) third-year.
Behind him, the boy also starts his trip back to the bus station, punching the number on his phone as he goes.
"Daichi?" Sugawara speaks into the phone, "Mind if I go over there from now?"
"Sure... but," the Karasuno's captain answers, uncertain why his friend suddenly want to visit, "Did something happen?"
"I'll tell you when I get there," the setter smiles, "I'm stopping by the convenience store for a bit, you want anything?"
Sawamura hums at the idea, intrigued by the secrecy that Sugawara is giving him. "There's only tea at my house, so maybe get one or two cans or beer and we'll talk?"
"Alright," Sugawara nods, turning off the phone. Beer, huh? Just what he wanted to buy.
"Hey Ukai!" somebody calls out to her. She knows the voice, but tries her best to fake the fact that she heard it.
Chikae has been ignoring them, out of pity or out of detestment, the girl never fully understood. She feels no emotional attachment to the deeds they have done to her in the past, put the look that they are giving her now, the volume, the tone of the voice that they used to call her name; they makes her blood boils.
She gives them the benefit of the doubt at first, yes, considering that even though they used to be bullying her in the past, they are here to fix their mistakes. But during the lapse and flashes of her memory, Chikae can see a hand pushing her and herself rolling down the stair. She knows it's silly. It can't be them, she always tells herself. Then what if she's right? What if the make-believe hand in her head belonged to these girls? What will she do then? They have the power to hurt her without a second thought and she doesn't have the power to stop them.
"Hey are you deaf?!" Nae, the boss of the group jerks her arm back; for and instance, Chikae thought that her hand would be ripped off.
"Sorry," the girl says, "I was in a hurry"
"So?" Akira Masumoto, the girl on Nae's right, with the hair dyed a bright brown color clicks her tongue, "Get a load of this girl, Haruka."
Haruka Kondo spares a pity look at her. The contact lense that making her pupils too big turns even more unnatural the moment the girl widens her eyes as she slides closer, pushing Chikae back against the wall.
"Being busy doesn't justify ignoring people, Ukai," Haruka's curly hair scratches at her nose, making it itch badly. But Chikae can't never reach it and scratch. She doesn't dare imagine what will happen if she does.
She says nothing to the trio's questioning and blame-placing eyes on her. She doesn't feel the need to explain herself. She doesn't feel that she did anything wrong that requires explanation at these three. She just wants to prove herself. She just want to make it clear that nothing they do or say will have effect on her, and for all that its worth, she has bigger matters on her mind now than their little terrorizing stimulation.
"Can you please move out of the way?" Chikae says at last, "I have to get ready for my part-time job after this."
"You m-"
"HEY!" another familiar voice echoes through the school's hallway and the girl is not embarrassed to say that she feels relief wash over her like a healing wave.
Nae's group leaves her, not forgetting to spare their last glare at Chikae, but she doesn't mind. They can do whatever the heck they want. Deep down inside she's uncomfortable with their existence, yes, but it doesn't mean they will do much damage to her normal daily life. Or at least she hopes they don't seeing how they are all classmates.
"You alright?" Nishinoya sits down next to her legs, his back against the wall as he tries to avoid her gaze.
"I'm fine," Chikae says, "Thanks for coming though. It really helped me getting rid of those girls."
"Who are they anyway?" the libero continues, "They don't look nice enough to be friends with you. Did something happen with you and those girls?"
She keeps her silence, wondering how she should answer this. She doesn't want him to know too much, she doesn't want him to be distracted by anything that could only have been her imagination.
Nishinoya sighs at her quiet respond, pulling her wrist and signaling her to sit down next to her.
"I'm worried about you," he speaks, "I know I've been too pushy about the fact that you didn't tell me anything before you transferred to the class and I'm sorry if I offended you. Look, I talked to Daichi-san too. And he said I can be really rude sometimes, but I meant no offense, and I sure as hell mean no harm to you-"
"They were in the same class as me during my first-year," she cuts in, couldn't keep her mouth shut any longer after the words he said. Nishinoya won't stop until he gets what he wants. Right now, he wants her to spill the dirt, so she'll do just that and hope that he will be alleviated long enough to keep himself out of her business.
She makes sure not to say too much, or having to reveal too much because she highly doubts she can control her emotion if anything related to her past is mentioned. It's a highly touchy subject for her (mostly for the fact that she can't confirm fully if they are true or articulate any type of emotion towards them), meaning that the girl would appreciate people not discussing it or involve her in the discussion of it.
Chikae lets Nishinoya handles the rest of the story by his own imagination. She trusts that he's capable of at least that.
Leaving him with a small wave, she picks up her bag, slinging it over her shoulder and heads towards the exit. She still has a part-time job after this anyway and if she doesn't show up on time, the manager is gonna get irritated at her like before and turn her one perfectly could-have-been wonderful work day into complete hell.
Of course there is a very good chance that she won't be if Chikae explains the reason clearly, but precaution is better than cure right?
"What happened to your hand?" her father asks the moment she comes out of the shower. He is still enjoying his can of beer, sketching down what looks like a new strategy for the team. The sight of his notebook makes her heart sink a bit but Chikae choose to bury her feelings and focus on the subject of his question.
Her eyes stray towards up the elbow of her left arm, just a tad below her shoulder. There she found a dark bruise with no explanation as to what caused it. Or at least for the first three seconds after her discovery.
Nae, she thinks sadly.
"It's nothing," Chikae tells her dad. He doesn't look satisfied with what she is giving so the girl turns around sharply, retreating to her room before he can carry out any further questioning. She appreciates his worries, but this is something not worth his concern.
It's a dark spot from her past, and Chikae isn't going to let it get in the way of her present.
Pulling the chair out, she sits down and flips open the phone lying lonely on the surface of the desk.
Three missed calls.
Nishinoya, Chikae sighs, pressing the phone symbol to call the boy back.
"Yes?" he finally answers after a long period of rings.
"I saw you called me," she says, "Is something wrong?"
"Oh!" Nishinoya cheers, "Yeah, well ma made too much curry again so I was wondering if I should bring it over to your place. I thought you were asleep because the light wasn't o-"
"I don't live there anymore," the girl cuts in, "I'm living in my dad's house now."
"Oh..." he breathes out after a curt silence. She doesn't blame him for being surprised. Chikae is pretty sure even Koushi-san doesn't know about her relationship with his coach now. Only Hinata and Nishinoya do, and only one of them was by her own choice. Kind of.
It's not like she's trying to hide it anyway. She wasn't planning on meeting the rest of the team in the first place so there was really no need and equally no chance for them to know. And there is less chance that they'll come asking for such thing. Japanese people don't like to dig into stuffs that aren't their business. That part Chikae is grateful for.
"It's alright," she tries to save herself, "I can't possibly trouble your family any further than this."
"Why are you trying to distance away from me like that?" Nishinoya suddenly asks, no evidence of joke in his voice.
"I-I wasn-"
"Yes, you were," he stops her, "You just up and go out of the blue, coming back out of the blue and changing into someone different out of the blue. Even Suga-san is being weird lately. What's going on?"
"I'm sorry-"
"I'm not scolding you," the libero claims, "I just want to know what is happening. Chicchan, it's okay if you don't want to come back right now but please don't cut us off like this. We are all worried about you-"
"Sorry," she says, before hanging up the phone.
I don't want you're your worries.
I don't want your pity.
She's no longer the one that they know, no longer the person that they thought her to be. If they see her now, she's afraid of how they'd react.
Thirty minutes have passed since the phone call. Chikae lies dead tired on the bed, looking up to her ceiling. Her father stuck a new wallpaper up that shows the night sky with stars twinkling when she turns off the light.
So Chikae just stays in the dark, admiring this beauty that her dad had managed to find.
He's the best.
Her star seeing, never in her wildest imagination, was interrupted by a loud bang at the metal door of their apartment.
"We have a bell there for a reason you know!" she hears her dad grumpily greet the unknown guest.
Out of curiosity, Chikae peers at the door too, out of the cracks created by the half-shut door of her own room.
An orange jacket fills her vision and she flings the door fully open to see a hardly breathing Nishinoya holding a huge pot standing at their entrance. Her father looks completely flabbergasted by the sudden presence of the boy and she too is nowhere calmer than him.
"Hey coach." they both hear him says, yet to fully comprehend the situation, "Ya like curry?"
"I'll be right back," she tells the doubtful young coach before closing the door and following Nishinoya. To be honest she was half anticipating something like this, but it was tomorrow, not in the middle of the night and using curry as an excuse.
They just walked in silence, no words were exchanged and even their footsteps makes the smallest sound as if scared of ruining the perfect quietness created. It's like a barrier really, keeping them calm. So once it's broken, all knows that Hell will come loose.
Nishinoya sits down on the swing, not even signaling her to come closer to do anything at all. His eyes lock at the ground, all serious. His face relaxed, but nothing can break that focus he's putting on. It's his game face. He means business.
"Sorry," he starts, "I just kind ran over with the curry."
"Yes, you did," she repeats the fact. Honestly, Chikae is loss at words. The conversation is up to him now however he'd like to initiate it.
The libero seems to be choosing his words. Very. Carefully. It's been awhile since she saw him this serious.
"I called Suga-san after you hang u-"
"You did what?"
"I wanted a solution," he continues, "A solution to understand you."
"I'm not your homework, Nishinoya," Chikae chuckles only briefly, walking closer towards the boy, "There's no need for you to try and understand me."
He looks up at her, straight. There's not a tint of weakness in those eyes, and they flash under the streetlight that is too old to be bright anymore. "I want to," he says, "I want to understand you."
"Why?" she asks, "There's no need."
"You're not something that can just be glanced at, Chicchan," his words flow, "You are our friend and like it or not we want you to be happy, we want to know the things that you hide from us, your fears, your insecurities-"
"Why?" Chikae pouts, unhappy with the boy in front of her, "I don't want any of you to be worried about what I do, what I think or what's happening in my life. It's really perverting and I want you all to stop!"
"How can we?!" Nishinoya stands up from his seat, "You always seem so reckless, always running off to do things on your own, always getting yourself in troubles. You never tell us anything! Damn it, Chicchan! We all love you so much okay? You are very precious to us and I don't mean that as our coach adviser or whatever you call yourself. You are precious to us because you are you. We love you and we can't help but worry about you. Sorry if you think it's offensive but it's our feelings! You mean so much to us that even if we try, we can't fight the urge to know that you are okay!"
As if just to vent out what he want, Nishinoya runs away the moment he finishes. Chikae just stands there, looking at the orange back of his jacket, taken aback by his words.
Subconsciously, she walks back home, not knowing what else to do.
The moment she opens the door, her dad was there to wait, as always. A gentle, relieved smile on his face as he chow on the bowl of rice and curry. Did he not have dinner? She never really realized.
Something clicked inside of her.
She was too busy trying to hide the part she doesn't want others to see that she loses sight of what's around her, of the condition of those she so-called said she loves. If she just stopped thinking to much and observed a little bit then maybe she'd be able to see that her dad isn't drinking one can but three cans of beer every night lately. She wouldn't have to wait until garbage day to know that. If she takes notice then maybe she'd see that he hasn't had dinner yet, being pulled into thinking up plans for the team's game.
He was always there waiting for her.
He was always there for her.
And she was always pushing him away, pushing all of them away.
"You want some?" her father reaching out, offers the bowl to her.
"I'm sorry." she says, taking the spoon and swallows a full scoop. The curry is a bit cold now. But it's still good.
He dad smiles, shuffling her hair with his hand, pulling her into a hug. "It's alright," he says, "Those aren't tears of pain. That's all I need."
For those who have not read SCORCHER. Here's the link to it: s/11027672/1/SCoRCHeR
I strongly suggest you read it first, cuz you know, if you didn't, Seeing Stars won't make much sense to you www
Annnndddd I just realized I should probably have put this at the front. Guess you live and learn huh? :)
Follow and favorite for more. Can't wait to talk to you guys in the comment! I appreciate all of your support so much!
Love yall!