Title: Heart of Lifesaving

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, unless stated.

Shiraishi POV

I walk into the ER and heave a small sigh. My interns are busy preparing for the patient whilst the nurses are running round making sure everything is ready. Since 7 years ago, Lifesaving has decreased significantly. Aizawa and Hiyama left to pursue their passions, to the many junior doctors that I've guided who left to other hospitals round Japan. Mitsui-sensei just left yesterday. Hiyama came back just a few days ago. Still, the workforce was not enough. Fujikawa notices my troubles and hands me the catheter I've been eying for. I silently thank him for the catheter and placed in the metal tray. Slipping on the rubber gloves, I check the timing on the clock and alert him.

"Let's go. The Heli is arriving."

He nods and we jog to the Helipad where we retrieve the patient.

"An accident on the highway. Serious injury to the head and in shock. His blood pressure has been dropping since."

"Looks like he's got some fracture. Contact Neurosurgery immediately." Fujikawa instructs to Saejima as she whips her cell out.

We work on the patient till Aizawa arrives. The interns have tried to be useful and helped, but our efforts didn't manage to reboot his heart rate and blood pressure. He's wearing his black scrubs, unlike us who are wearing dark blue scrubs. His hair is out of place, almost disoriented, as if he's just been through case after case. His face still holds a emotionless look. Behind that, I can see his tiredness. I give him a quick bow and he looks at me with a emotionless stare. Nodding in return, he turns to his patient. I know he can sense that we are lacking power and that he can sense what I'm feeling, but only because we've known each other this long. Concentrating on the patient, the team works together.

Shiraishi POV

"You've pass the limit. He's gone." He says to us as we stop all actions. I bit my lip in frustration at my failed attempt. Again, just like that, another life gone. He could have been saved. Even if it was 5 minutes.

"Confirmed time of death: 10:56." Tachibana-sensei announces and tears off his operating gown. In silence, we prepare to bring the body somewhere else, but I don't move. I stay rooted next to the door of the ER, blanking looking at the floor in anger.

I failed, once again. All this while, I've been thinking maybe if I constantly upgraded myself, it would have been fine. But as doctors left, I let the stress pile up on myself. I bit my lip harder. My throat feels almost itchy and dry, and my eyes start to have a stinging sensation. But this is no time to wallow myself in self-pity. I have patients to check up on, medical records to update, lives to save. I blink my eyes to fight the tears back and I solemnly move to help my team.

"Aizawa, won't you come back?" Tachibana-sensei pleads with him. I look at my team. All of them are half-dead. My interns are already trying their best, making it to the hospital early and reading up as much as they can during their breaks. Fujikawa and Saejima are always busy, only able to speak and bond with each other in their car. I've been working since the previous night, taking on yesterday's night and current morning shift. Tachibana-sensei has been loaded with work stress and documents on top of documents. We really needed him back. Hiyama has already sacrificed her studies.

"Sorry. I have no intention on returning to Lifesaving." Aizawa replies back and continued his typing into the computer. The interns solemnly leave the room and wheel the patient out. The senior doctors, including me, rub our eyes from the stress and tiredness experienced. A single tear slips through as I let out a silent sigh. Lifesaving is on its own. But we needed Aizawa to come back. We need him to train the junior doctors, to carry out operations. His spirit and effort was needed here.

I, as team leader, need him by my side.

We continue our respective jobs. I attempt continuing, willing to work till the afternoon. But Hiyama stops me and pulls me to the resting room.

"You need a break. Who told you to take the night shift?" Hiyama scolds me as I nervously look at my fingers.

"That's only because Lifesaving is understaffed." I sigh.

"Well, let Fujikawa and I handle today. You rest till it's 2pm. Only then will I allow you to work." Hiyama orders before leaving to do her rounds.

I lay on the bed for a good 10 minutes, not being able to fall asleep. Not heading Hiyama's advice, I leave the room. Walking out, I head to where I'm able to find peace.

The Helipad.

However, I'm not the only one there. Aizawa is there as well. Why am I surprised? He's always there when he's troubled. Or whenever I'm troubled. Either ways, we always go there to seek peace when we're troubled. I walk up to the Helipad and lean against a pole. As if he knew, he looks over and hands me a can of coffee. His eyes still show a slight trouble.

"Thank you."

I crack that can of caffeine open and take a long drink. I wait for the caffeine to hit my system, already feeling a lot better.

"Are the interns always like that?" He ask as he opens his can. He hasn't opened his can yet?

"Considering they are new, they are slower. I've just got to train them." I reply.

"Well, they better be useful before the patients passes." He mumbles just loud enough for me to pick up.

"Huh?"

"Ah, sorry. An outsider said something that shouldn't be said." He says, almost emotionlessly. I bite my lip and hold onto to my can tighter. He takes a drink from his can.

"Can't you come back?" I turn and blurt out. His hand freezes mid air and he lifts his head. Realising what happened, I regret my question and the past 10 seconds.

"Sorry, I know you replied that 20 minutes ago to Tachibana-sensei." I apologise. "Just pretend I didn't ask that." I turn around, ready to walk away to head back to the room. I shouldn't disturb him any further.

Just as I want to walk, a warm hand grabs my forearm without my coffee can. Swiftly, Aizawa turns me around to face him. Unfortunately, due to the shock, I was unable to maintain my balance and fall two steps forward, almost banging my head against his shoulder.

"Sorry." He says and releases his hand from my arm.

"There's talk about residency in Toronto. Sorry." He says and looks at me with a hint of sorrow.

"I-I see." I manage to choke out. Residency at Toronto? That sounds like Aizawa. My heart immediately feels heavy. Does he not care about Lifesaving anymore? My eyes trail down and I break eye contact with him.

"Are you, hurt?" He ask softly in a kinder tone. I recognise this tone. It's the tone he uses when I'm alone. The tone that spoke to me that rainy night. The tone that he uses when he senses something wrong.

"No, no, I'm okay." I lie to him and smile. "You should get back to work." I say as I'm about to leave. I turn around and head back to the resting room. My eyes start tearing for no reason, but I wipe them away as I rush back.

This time, he doesn't stop me.

Aizawa POV

Immediately after telling Shiraishi the reason, my heart immediately cracks a little. Through that fake smile that she showed me, I could see the hurt that I've cause when I told her the reason. Dammit, even when I see her run and her hand reaches up to her face, I know I've hurt her badly. I sigh and ruffle my hair. One side of me wants to return to Lifesaving. But the other side wants to go to Toronto too. I crush my can in frustration as I think about the pass 10 minutes with her.

Through the mask, I could see Shiraishi's fatigue. From what I've overheard from Hiyama, she worked the whole night shift and half the morning shift today. She made sure all the doctors and nurses went home to rest and got those on shifts coffee and light snacks. She always puts Lifesaving before herself. As the staff leader, it didn't help. She burdened herself with responsibilities. Patient's death. Documents. Reports. It didn't matter, how big or small. She took it all.

Furthermore, I missed Lifesaving. Lifesaving was what matured me. I missed the spirit of Lifesaving, the fun that I felt. But I missed her too. I didn't know why, but I missed her presence. I missed the cans of coffee she used to bring our team, and the different types of snacks she will bring for us. I headed back to the office and Saijo-sensei immediately whisks me and Shinkai into different operating theatres. I was so busy going to different rooms and operating, I didn't realise what was going on outside of that bubble.

Finally after the last report, I was ready to go home since I wasn't on night shift. Immediately after the last report was filed in, I packed my bags and changed out of my scrubs. I was about to walk out of the lockers when I see Shiraishi. However this time, she looked bad. She had trouble opening up her eyes, and had a extremely worn out look on her face. Was that just her hair or is that scratches and dirt on her face?

She notices sight of me and greets me with a slight bow. "Good evening." She says with barely any enthusiasm left. She clutches her files tightly and coughs. That's strange. She rarely coughs. Was she sick?

"Not going home?" I ask her as I walk with her to the lift. She shakes her head and slowly reaches up to hold her head.

"Shiraishi, you alright?" I ask as I stop where she is. She falters back slightly and shakes her head again. "Shiraishi?"

"I'm alright. Just a slight headache." She tries convincing me. She continues to walk towards the lift, but stops and leans her hand against the walls.

"Shiraishi, you should-" I get cut off by her immediately collapsing in front of me.

Instantaneously, I catch her shoulder before she falls and she falls on my lap as I kneel down on the floor. I sigh in relief that I ran into her.

"Shiraishi. Shiraishi." I ask her as I tap her shoulders. Checking to make sure she is breathing, I sigh a relief. At least she's breathing. I look around me and bite my lip in frustration. The ward nurses aren't around. I quickly carry her and run down to the staff station downstairs. Only then do I realise how skinny she was. She seems light for her age and size. Was her arms always this thin?

I see Fujikawa, Hiyama and Saejima at their desk filling in reports. Saejima is still busy packing the supplies. Looks like all of them are on night shifts. Saejima spots me first and then trails down to who I'm carrying. Fujikawa's eyes open wide and Hiyama immediately jolts out from her table.

"Aizawa-sensei!"

"Eh?"

"Shiraishi!"

They scurry over with shocked expressions.

"She fainted upstairs when walking. Do you have any spare beds?" I question.

"Spare beds? Just bring her to the ER!" Hiyama scolds in a rush as she runs to the ER. I almost forgot how blunt she is towards me. I put her on the bed and immediately arrange for a CT scan, just in case. Saejima and Fujikawa are busy hooking up a IV line while Hiyama checks her pulse, blood pressure and pupil reflexes.

"Everything looks normal." She announces to us. "What's on the CT scan?"

"It looks okay. Nothing strange or out of the ordinary." I say as I examine the scan.

"Could she have fainted due to exhaustion?" Fujikawa ask. Hiyama sighs and Saejima shakes her head sadly. "Probably. She has been having a tough time recently."

We decide to shift her to the resting room, and attach a IV drip and a monitor just in case. Not that she needed it, but better to be prepared.

"Aren't you going home?" Hiyama ask and points to my bag. I forgot I had my bag with me this whole time. I was so concerned that I forgot I wanted to go home.

"Never mind. I think I'll stay the night here." I reply and put my bags by the corner of the room. She nods slowly and leaves the room to continue being on duty.

I lie on the bed that is next to Shiraishi and stay still for a while. Giving up, I sit on the floor and rest my chin on her bed. I immediately sit up and notice something I didn't catch before. Her lips were pale white, almost losing their healthy flesh coloured appearance. Beads of sweat has started collecting on her forehead, despite being covered by her fringe. Was she having a fever?

I spring up and get a bucket with a towel and cold water from the sink in the room. I measure the temperature with my hand and she feverishly hot. I cool it down with the towel and cold water. Using a thermometer, I measure her temperature after a while. It went down slightly. Continuing the process, I keep sponging her forehead and keeping track of her temperature for a few hours. It was already 3am. Well, at least her temperature went down.

I sat down by her side and thought about my plans. To go to Toronto or to come back to Lifesaving. I didn't know. But looking at Shiraishi made me want to return. I didn't want her to burden all of those responsibilities again. I neglected Lifesaving this whole time, too engrossed with Neurosurgery that I completely neglected her.

I kept thinking about this, till after a long while, I finally fell asleep.

Shiraishi POV

All I could remember was walking to the lift, and pain in my head. I remembered talking to Aizawa, and all of the rest were blurred memories. When I opened my eyes, my head throbbed with slight pain. I reached up and slowly sat up, careful to not move too fast. I was still wearing my blue scrubs. What happened? Looking down to my right, I see a head of hair lying peacefully on my bed. Aizawa? What was he doing here? I clicked my phone so it displayed the timing. 6:04am.

I probably made too much movement, because Aizawa roused from his sleep and looked up with tired eyes. "Oh, Shiraishi, you're awake." He softly says, still having his morning voice.

"What happened...?" I whispered still clutching my head.

"Wait." He says and gets up. He leaves the room and comes back a minute later with a glass of water and a pill. "You fainted while talking to me last night. You're stable, just that you've developed a fever it seems." He tells me and hands me the water and pill. I swallow it and thank him.

"Then what are you doing here?" I ask and rest on my pillows.

"I was keeping watch in case anything happens." He bluntly says. "You should rest. This isn't the time to work."

"Then-" I get cut off, as if he knew what I was going to say in with that one word.

"I'm alright. Lifesaving is going to be fine." He replies and sits back down on the bed next to mine.

"You stayed the whole night?" I ask after a moment of silence.

"Ahh." Was what I got in reply

"Well... thank you, again." I muse. He nods. "You should sleep. You need your rest." I nod and does what he tells me do to.

I awoke a few hours later, around afternoon. I looked around and saw Hiyama. "Oh, Shiraishi. How are you?" She asked once I got up.

"Much better." I mused. She hands me a glass of water and makes me take some pills to control my temperature. Looks like I contracted the common flu as well. Under orders of Tachibana-sensei, I was to not work and rest for two days. I sigh at his orders. Two days could do a lot. Getting up, I decided I needed a shower and moved out from the room. I look at my left wrist and see a IV attached to me.

"Hiyama-sensei, can I remove the IV?" I ask her before leaving the room. She looks over and nods before walking over to help me. After that was done, I walked to the lockers to get a pair of clothes to change.

The hot water streamed down my face and hair and I felt so much better. As I showered, I kept questioning why was Aizawa still there till 6am. Wasn't he suppose to be home? I remembered him carrying a bag, I think. After the shower, I quickly changed to another pair of scrubs I had on hand and headed back to the resting room at the office. With a few hours to spare to dinner, I filled up some reports on my laptop. Saejima comes to deliver me some dinner and I thank her for it. I take my pills and Tachibana-sensei comes in to check on me.

"Sorry for causing trouble, Tachibana-sensei." I apologetically say. He smiles and shakes his head. "Ahh, it's okay. The interns are working hard today. You should take the day off. You've been working too hard." I nod awkwardly before he leaves to do his rounds.

Aizawa walks in just as Tachibana-sensei leaves. Bowing to him with respect, Aizawa plops his bag in the far corner of the room.

"Not going home?" I ask him as I cross my legs on the bed. He shakes his head. I notice that he's wearing different scrubs. Blue... Wait, blue?

"Aizawa-sensei, why..." I trail off, even more shocked to see the words EMS printed by his breast pocket. The word 'Lifesaving' was printed on his back...

He sat down on the floor again. "I returned to Lifesaving." He finally says.

I slightly gasp and tilt my head in confusion to why. "Didn't you say you want to go to Toronto?"

"I will go. Lifesaving will give me access to all the patients with brain injuries. I can also handle spinal injuries here, so Shinkai and I won't fight for the patients." He replies me. Looking up, I see the corner of his lips threaten to curl up, but it remains stationary at a horizontal line.

"That's great to hear. Then, are you on night duty today?" I ask him, smiling from the good news.

"I'm just taking care of you." He replies bluntly.

"Eh?" I let out, not believing what he said. Aizawa rarely does this, no, he doesn't do this at all.

He continues to look down and rub his fingers together like usual. "Nothing." He stands up and stands in front of the door. "You want a snack?" He ask before leaving.

I nod my head reluctantly, too embarrassed to say yes. He nods and walks out to the convenience store. 10 minutes later, he's back with rice balls and mochi. He retreats to the floor and takes a bite out of his rice ball. I do the same.

"Thank you...for taking care of me." I say after a moment of silent.

"Ah." He replies. Another bite of his rice ball. We don't have much to talk about.

Saejima knocks on the door politely and pops her head in. Hiyama's head appears below hers.

"Can we come in?" She asks us. Aizawa gets up from the floor and climbs to the top bunk above my bed. Hiyama takes it as an approve and walks in with Saejima behind.

They sit on my bed and they update me on what's been going on. Saejima gives me the details that Fujikawa and her are going to be married, which we all happily clap for her. Hiyama updates me on the interns, which Aizawa occasionally adds in a few sentences. I slightly frown at his harshness, but Hiyama rebuts back in a equally harsh but funny manner, which leaves me smiling and Saejima sighing away with a smile.

Saejima excuses herself first to do her duties and Hiyama follows, doing her rounds. Aizawa stays stationary on the top bunk. He jumps down shortly after to pass my medication and check that everything is okay. Sitting on the floor, he stares blankly into space.

"You can do your work, I'm okay." I say to him. He looks up with a pair of sad eyes.

"You always care about others, never taking yourself into consideration. 24/7, yet everyone knows that." He says to me.

"You're right. 7 years down the road... I'm the core of Lifesaving, am I not?" I add with a sad smile.

"Don't take everything by yourself. You have Hiyama, Fujikawa, Saejima... also, there's me." He says looking directly at me. I bite my lip and look down unconsciously. Was I shy to look at him? I don't know clearly why.

A long silent passed, and I convinced myself to sleep and not worry about Lifesaving. However, I made Aizawa sleep too, on the bed beside mine.

The next morning when I woke up, I felt much better and under Aizawa's close eye and an extremely convincing reason, I was allowed to work at the Staff Station. However, he banned me from stepping into the ER and the ICU. Outpatient clinic was okay, but he kept an extremely close eye on me. It was different from the usual things I'm used to, but it did keep me busy enough.

Before I knew it, it was already evening. Today, the four interns and Tachibana-sensei is on duty. Almost out of habit, we all met up —well, without Aizawa— and went to Mary Jane's bar. All of them ordered a mug of beer. Knowing that asking my question was a suicide move, I still went ahead.

"Mary Jane, can I get a beer tonight?" I ask softly, bracing myself for the replies my colleagues will make.

"No!" The other 3 say at the same time.

"You're sick!" Hiyama emphasises as she frowns.

"No alcohol!"Saejima warns me. She has the scariest look on her face now, the one she uses when we offend her.

"Mary Jane! Do not give her the drink!"Fujikawa sternly says with strict expression.

I frown, but start laughing straight away at the concern they have for me. Mary Jane, shocked by the synchronisation, nods like a terrified child and passes me a glass of ice water instead. I thank her and obediently sip on the ice water.

At that moment, a familiar strong built figure walks in. His haggard eyes and vibe says it all. Aizawa obviously had a bad day.

"Oh! Aizawa didn't abandon us tonight!" Fujikawa's big mouth exclaims. Saejima scolds him for his nosiness and loud mouth. Aizawa goes all the way to the end of the bar counter, 2 seats away from mine. He orders his usual drink of sake on rocks and silently sips on the alcohol.

"What's wrong?" I ask him casually. The other 3 are busy arguing about Saejima's wedding gown and how the wedding should be planned out.

"Just had a long day." He plainly says, not giving away too much information.

"I'm not that dense." I sigh. "What's the problem?"

"I didn't save all the patients..." He softly says and gulps the remaining sake.

I purse my lips tightly, understanding his pain. To see the patient you want to see live pass was heartbreaking. Their future, family, career, opportunities... the list goes on. It was all robbed from the patient.

"I see." I softly say. Turning to him, I can read his eyes. He's blaming himself that he couldn't save the patients. His nail digs into his finger and his knuckles turn slightly white.

"Aizawa-sensei, it's not your fault. I'm sure you did your best." I empathise with him. He lets out a long sigh and shakes his head. He runs his hand through his messy hair in frustration. He finishes his second serving of sake and close his eyes and breathes, almost in a relaxing way.

"I'm leaving first. You should go home too." He suggest as he gets out some notes to pay. I nod and my body moves on its own, following Aizawa to go home.

The other 3, too caught up in their conversation, and probably because Hiyama is drunk, are stunned that we suddenly leave. We bid goodbye to them and leave together.

"Why were you even there?" Aizawa asks me. I laugh at his question. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to. But they forbade me from drinking alcohol, so I just drank that glass of water." I reply. "You are...?"

"Train. You?" He replies, knowing what I was going to ask. I nod, agreeing that I take the train too.

We silently board the train and ride it together. He stands on one side, I stand on the other. When it was my station, he walks out with me as well. "Aren't you going to go home?" I ask as we tap out from the subway.

"It's late. It's not safe for you to go home like this." He says and walks with me.

It's around a 10 minute walk, and we once again, walk in silence. Just as I'm about to walk towards my apartment complex, I get light headed. I stop in my tracks and hold my head and massage my temples.

"What's wrong?" He says and bends down to my height. He gently grabs my wrist and I slightly flinch at his touch. Almost instantly, he released me, knowing how I felt. He takes a step back and I suddenly realised how close we were.

"Just got a little light headed. I'm okay, it's fine." I say and continue to walk. Aizawa doesn't take this answer well and stands next to me, with my shoulder touching his. He pushes closer to me.

"Lean your weight on me. It is easier for you to walk." He says. I don't and try to walk, even though the headache gets a little stronger. He grunts softly and pushes my body against his. I silently comply and lean on his shoulder.

Not knowing why, it feels almost...warming and soothing to me.

Fortunately, we reached my apartment complex and he walks me upstairs to the door.

"Good night." I say to him and bend my body slightly. "Please go home safely."

"Good night." He returns my bow. "Take care."

"Ah, Shiraishi." He said just as I unlock my door. I turn around and see him still there, a small smile outlining his face. "Thank you."

I smile and nod my head in return. He leaves and I walk into my apartment, a weird bubbling sensation in my stomach. It felt like, what was it, butterflies?

Why was this happening?

A/N: hello everyone! this is my first story on this platform so please excuse all the weird updates and all! I'm still learning how to use the app and website so if there are any hiccups feel free to PM me and ill change it ASAP! this pic has been something I've wanted to do ever since i saw season 3. I'm welcome to feedback so please give honest opinions and ill try my best to make this a better story.

this fic is NOT a oneshot, its my own creative take on season 3. my updates might be slow, as i don't like writing in public and prefer writing alone. also, I've not been writing very often and this was written after a long break. however, ill try my best to write this fic up and complete it. thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed it!