Chapter 1: The Bedtime Story Displacement
What was a giant purple bat doing in the Cheesecake Factory?
It was sitting in Sheldon's spot at Table 8, frowning angrily at the menu and shrieking. Penny had never encountered anything like this in her nearly seven years of waitressing, and was frozen to the spot gaping at the thing.
"What would you like to order, sir?" she managed to stammer, completely at a loss of words.
It didn't say anything at first, it simply blinked at her. Then it knocked on the table three times and said "Penny."
"Sheldon?" Penny asked.
The knocks were louder the second time through Sheldon's ritual, and Penny sat straight up in bed. Just a stupid dream.
"Penny."
She sighed. Apparently the knocking was part of reality. Penny stumbled out of her bedroom and over to her front door, whipping it open as soon as Sheldon had finished knocking and saying Penny a third time.
Sheldon stood there, looking like a deer in headlights.
"Sheldon, it's three o'clock in the morning," she said, still trying to convince herself that she was no longer serving a bat at the Cheesecake Factory. "What could you possibly need from me right this second?"
Sheldon looked down at his feet. "I had a bad dream."
"And what do you want me to do about it?"
"Leonard always tucks me back in after I have a bad dream, and then he tells me a story so I dream about something else."
Penny stared at him. "And since Leonard's in the middle of the ocean, you want me to do this?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes. And I need to awaken in three hours and fifteen minutes if I'm going to watch Doctor Who this morning, so could you make it a short story?"
"Sheldon!" Penny exclaimed. "I will tuck you in, but I will most definitely not read you a bedtime story."
"But I can't go back to sleep without one!" he whined, sounding more like a kindergartener every second.
"Call Amy and ask her to read you one over the phone," Penny said, walking over to the sofa and grabbing her bathrobe from the arm. "I have an actual audition in the morning, so I need my beauty rest too. Come on, let's go," she continued, shoving him gently back towards his own apartment.
Penny was always weirded out by Sheldon's bedspread; her cousin had had the exact same comforter as a little boy.
"Have you always had this bedspread?" she asked him as she tucked him in.
"Not for my entire lifetime. I picked it out when I went to college. This particular set was much more comfortable than my blankets at home, which were altogether too thick for either a Texas or California summer. Now, since you have declined to read me a story, I'll say goodnight."
"Goodnight, Sheldon. I'm going to be in Studio City all day so don't look for me in the morning," Penny said. "And don't call me either."
Leaving his room, she looked back at him as he picked up his cell phone and dialed Amy's number.
"This is going to be a long summer."
A whole human skeleton had showed up on her doorstep! And even better, this one tap-danced to a song that sounded suspiciously like the ringtone she had selected for Sheldon.
Amy Farrah Fowler knew it was too good to be true. Must be a dream.
Groggily, she looked at her vibrating cell phone on her nightstand, and answered it without comment.
"Hello?"
"Amy, thank goodness! I had a terrible nightmare, and normally Leonard reads me a story to make me feel better..."
"You seriously want me to drive to your apartment at 3:12 am to read you a bedtime story?" Amy asked, not amused.
"No, you don't have to drive over here. Just over the phone is fine. If you are not too tired, a video chat would be excellent."
Amy squinted at the bookshelf in the hallway, which was visible through her open bedroom door. "Okay, fine. What do you want me to read to you?"
"Do you have any train books? You know I love train books."
"Uh...I think so. Let me double check."
She put the phone down, turned on the light in the room, carefully put her glasses on so as not to break them, and ventured over to the hallway bookshelf, the only bookshelf she owned that held works of fiction rather than scientific research. She found the book she had been meaning to give Sheldon for their anniversary, and decided she could always find another present for him later.
Sitting down on her bed, she pushed the button on her phone allowing him to video chat with her, and propped it up against her lamp.
"Okay, Sheldon, here is the enthralling tale of Pete and Larry's Ultimate Toy Train Guide," she said, holding up the book so he could see it.
Sheldon squealed in excitement. "I love Pete and Larry! They always have the most valuable commentary about every single kind of train."
"Sheldon, is this book just going to wake you up more? Because I would like to get some rest tonight," Amy said with a yawn.
"No, no! I'll be good, I promise! I'll go straight to sleep! We can even start our Saturday afternoon video chat late if you need the extra time to complete your REM cycles."
Amy smiled. He must really want this or else he wouldn't have offered to change his schedule to accommodate her sleep. "All right then. Here we go." She opened the book, and began to read in a gruff voice she imagined for Pete. "Hello there, train lovers! My name's Pete Stanley, and this is my friend Larry Nole! We want to tell you how much we love trains so that you can love them just as much as we do. No matter if your trains are motorized or not, metal or wooden, all trains are pretty darn awesome!"
Clearing her throat, Amy spoke in a higher register for Larry. "Like my friend Pete said, I'm Larry. This book goes out to all amateur train conductors everywhere, from those who hide their trains in their garages to those who come right out and say they are trainiacs! The information in this book can help you add to your train collection, as well as give you information about train shows all over the world. Now hop on, blow the whistle, and call All Aboard! We are headed on the adventure of a lifetime!"
She paused to look at Sheldon. He had his eyes shut, his breathing was slow and regular, and he had a serene smile, similar to his koala face.
Quietly, Amy shut the book, whispered "Goodnight, Sheldon," and ended the call.
She was surprised at how much fun she'd had reading a train book to her boyfriend. He had hung on her every word until he fell asleep. As she snuggled back into bed, she wondered if Sheldon would want to do this often.
"This is going to be a great summer!"
A/N: Good day, and welcome to The Female Reliance Objective! I don't know how often I will update this, though it will most certainly be over by the time Season 7 airs. I enjoy fluff, and lots of it, so be forewarned. I'm kinda just getting my feet wet...I haven't written fanfic in over 9 months. See you around!